FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Single men

Single men

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Ladies and gentlemen, I am fairly new on here so please bare with. As a single lady I get a lot of messages on a daily basis. I try and reply to most of them how polite they were depends on how polite I am. Message me with “wanna fuk” I’ll just say no. I am getting more and more blokes who send me say 3 messages to which I reply I can’t reply instantly so they send a load of abuse. What is with that??! I don’t know if I want advice or just to rant really!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Don't take it to heart, it seems to be an occupational hazard on here. Use it as a filtering system,guys might seem okay with first message,and then turn nasty, then you've had a lucky break and know not to meet them. Use the block button.

I message quite a few women and hardly ever get a reply back, its a numbers game for single men there's more of us on here than single women, and their frustration shows.

That's not an excuse of course, that's probably why they're single. Be discerning who you chat to and always meet in public, and don't forget....block em.

Good luck x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

That is pretty much the norm when joining here.

I used to try and reply to all messages but it became difficult, a chore and even a polite no thanks would get guys sending several messages asking why or abuse.

So now any message I’m not interested in I won’t reply to and I’ll delete. If I get abuse I block and report them.

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By *im L FuckitMan over a year ago

Dumfriesshire

What freewheeling said... and just block us and message those who you would personally like to chat to.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I suppose I was just suprised to be called a fat c*** before 9am on a Monday morning :D

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I suppose I was just suprised to be called a fat c*** before 9am on a Monday morning :D"

You can report that message. I get them at times. No need to be rude guys let's all respect each other.

Respect out.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I did! It’s the fact he though it was acceptable I didn’t understand. He then promptly blocked me. Man enough to say it not man enough to wait for a reply

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By *im L FuckitMan over a year ago

Dumfriesshire

Definitely report him. Makes my blood boil to hear stuff like this. Please reflect on the fact it says way more about HIM. Big hug for you x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I did! It’s the fact he though it was acceptable I didn’t understand. He then promptly blocked me. Man enough to say it not man enough to wait for a reply "

I have only been on here for a couple of weeks myself and already worked out from the forums that there are quite a few people like this.

But hand on heart we are not all like him, so don't let idiots like him ruin the experience for you. Just block them and move on because trust me when I say it is their loss

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By *good-being-badMan over a year ago

mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds

"Ladies and gentlemen, I am fairly new on here so please bare with. As a single lady I get a lot of messages on a daily basis. I try and reply to most of them how polite they were depends on how polite I am. Message me with “wanna fuk” I’ll just say no. I am getting more and more blokes who send me say 3 messages to which I reply I can’t reply instantly so they send a load of abuse. What is with that??! I don’t know if I want advice or just to rant really!"

The site provides tools to help folk manage the volume of mail.. message filters, age restrictions,

blocking complete genders from messaging .. would cut down on the volume significantly as only folk you initiate contact with can reply . I suggest folk do this often with the rationale that you know better than any profile description would provide as to whom you seek.

Or you can carry on as you were

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By *ediMan over a year ago

Leeds

"I suppose I was just suprised to be called a fat c*** before 9am on a Monday morning :D"

You weren’t so fat when he was interested was he sounds like a sad lonely individual

How you enjoy your experiene on here, have fun x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I suppose I was just suprised to be called a fat c*** before 9am on a Monday morning :D

You weren’t so fat when he was interested was he sounds like a sad lonely individual

How you enjoy your experiene on here, have fun x"

Exactly!

It always makes me laugh when they call you names, like they weren’t sending you sweet messages of “fancy a fuck” a few minutes ago!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Part of the process on here don't take it to heart. Some people think that if they join they are entitled to use people, it happens in clubs as well just block and move on. Xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 27/08/18 11:31:17]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Unfortunatley its the nature of this site, happens a lot. I've had it in the past and hated it so blocked everyone and searched for suitable meets myself. I don't need an inbox full to boost my ego or confidence, I like to think I have no ego but lots of confidence.

Abuse is the insecure persons defence mechanism. Be glad they showed their true colours. Who wants to meet a twat like that??!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I agree. I am reading a book which shows that all the research on online dating indicates that the experience for women is that they get too many messages to respond to and they quickly realise they can become choosy. For them it is a confidence boosting experience. For men the opposite is the case. They get few responses so become less choosy and their confidence is undermined. Goes with the territory apparently.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 27/08/18 11:53:15]

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By *orticiaWoman over a year ago

Wirral

"That is pretty much the norm when joining here.

I used to try and reply to all messages but it became difficult, a chore and even a polite no thanks would get guys sending several messages asking why or abuse.

So now any message I’m not interested in I won’t reply to and I’ll delete. If I get abuse I block and report them.

100% this - I did exactly the same, got the same outcome ... now if it’s a ‘wanna fuck’ etc, or a dick pic avatar, or dick pic in the message, it’s a delete. If they message again, it’s a delete & block!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I would never start with " wanna fuck" just dont get it, why would a women want to fuck with that opening line?

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By *onedbodMan over a year ago

co Galway

Anyone who gives an abusive msg to another member should be automatically banned for good! They are just keyboard warriors!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

It’s the fact they think someone actually WILL fuck that I don’t understand. Surely after several hindered no’s there must be some thought of modifying the approach?

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By *im L FuckitMan over a year ago

Dumfriesshire

"It’s the fact they think someone actually WILL fuck that I don’t understand. Surely after several hindered no’s there must be some thought of modifying the approach? "

A normal individual would reason so, but sadly men like that are not normal in my humble opinion... they are abusive... and I am sure that streak comes out in other aspects of their life too

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It’s the fact they think someone actually WILL fuck that I don’t understand. Surely after several hindered no’s there must be some thought of modifying the approach? "

That would require a degree of intellect which most don't have.

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By *reeMan over a year ago

Paisley

"I suppose I was just suprised to be called a fat c*** before 9am on a Monday morning :D

You can report that message. I get them at times. No need to be rude guys let's all respect each other.

Respect out. "

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By *orticiaWoman over a year ago

Wirral

"I would never start with " wanna fuck" just dont get it, why would a women want to fuck with that opening line?"

Often it’s not an opening line, it’s the sum total of the message!!

Pathetic really!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I want do pringles

Sorry I panicked

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"That is pretty much the norm when joining here.

I used to try and reply to all messages but it became difficult, a chore and even a polite no thanks would get guys sending several messages asking why or abuse.

So now any message I’m not interested in I won’t reply to and I’ll delete. If I get abuse I block and report them.

I guess a gorgeous looking girl will get inundated with messages and I agree it would be hard to.reply to all but being a single guy who's never abusive and really doesnt get why alot are surely it cant be hard just to be nice ?

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By *ifty grades of shadyCouple over a year ago

Carisbrooke, Isle of Wight

I did! It’s the fact he though it was acceptable I didn’t understand. He then promptly blocked me. Man enough to say it not man enough to wait for a reply "

Not a man at all in our book.

A real man, or woman for that matter would accept with good grace a no and move on with either a thanks for the reply, or just leave it at that.

Rejection is part of the life on here, understand that and you'll do yourself a huge favour by not getting to sound bitter and desperate.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"That is pretty much the norm when joining here.

I used to try and reply to all messages but it became difficult, a chore and even a polite no thanks would get guys sending several messages asking why or abuse.

So now any message I’m not interested in I won’t reply to and I’ll delete. If I get abuse I block and report them.

Of course it’s not hard to be nice.

People who send abuse usually aren’t nice people in general.

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By *ird of paradiseWoman over a year ago

newark

I got a message the other day giving me loads of abuse then the cheeky git blocked me so couldn't even reply to it. So annoying but didn't let it ruin my day x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I got a message the other day giving me loads of abuse then the cheeky git blocked me so couldn't even reply to it. So annoying but didn't let it ruin my day x"

I've had a couple of guys do that, I have a couples profile with my fb so guess what.............?!

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By *sGivesWoodWoman over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"That is pretty much the norm when joining here.

I used to try and reply to all messages but it became difficult, a chore and even a polite no thanks would get guys sending several messages asking why or abuse.

So now any message I’m not interested in I won’t reply to and I’ll delete. If I get abuse I block and report them.

Quite often there's no way of knowing who is nice or not until you've said no thanks. Hence why no reply.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"That is pretty much the norm when joining here.

I used to try and reply to all messages but it became difficult, a chore and even a polite no thanks would get guys sending several messages asking why or abuse.

So now any message I’m not interested in I won’t reply to and I’ll delete. If I get abuse I block and report them.

Quite often there's no way of knowing who is nice or not until you've said no thanks. Hence why no reply. "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Hide your profile and deal with the mail you have. If none of them suit open up your profile and wait for a few more messages and so on. I scratch my head why people don't do this x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I wonder what the ratios are of single men to other categories. Pretty much everyone I’ve spoken to says they’re getting inundated with messages. Perhaps there needs to be a system set up where you can get reported for spamming people then get temporarily banned from messaging or something? Or maybe there’s already one in place?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A lot of single guys on here can be a real pain , we haven’t had any Abuse from them but what we have had is guys wanting to meet but putting no effort into the meet or bottling it at the last minute , it’s really hard work trying to set up some of the types of meets we enjoy but then guys think they can mess us about or push things wanting more all the time .. getting really sick of them tbh .

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We ended up blocking single guys after about an hour. If we want one we will get one at a club. Less likely a male in a club is married too, although not impossible.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Do guys really send “fancy a fuck?” I thought it was a myth! Haha! Wonder how much success that has haha!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Do guys really send “fancy a fuck?” I thought it was a myth! Haha! Wonder how much success that has haha!!

Probably not as much as if a woman did it!! Yes they do send these messages, quite often!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Become the hunter not the hunted. Apply filters and browse to your hearts content.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Become the hunter not the hunted. Apply filters and browse to your hearts content."

Been doing that for years, works perfectly for me

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By *sGivesWoodWoman over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Hmmm. Maybe I should adopt their FAF scattergun approach within a 30 mile radius of me....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

After you say no to somebody if they email again giving you abuse or asking why not just block them.

Who you chose to have sex with is your choice not theirs.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I suppose I was just suprised to be called a fat c*** before 9am on a Monday morning :D"

That's a fab classic. They tell you that you are gorgeous, sexy, etc and they want to have sex with you. Then you say no to them and you go from being sexy and gorgeous to a fat slut.

Ignore them and block them.

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By *xxx30Man over a year ago

york

I normally tends to be the really young and the older guys (I like to think I'm not like this) normally I show a bit of courtesy, but filter out the dick heads lol anyway happy fabbing

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I was called an old c..t because I did not want to meet with someone.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

you'd be surprised at some opening lines

i had " would you like me to stretch your c..t

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Don't take it to heart. Alot of guys cant take rejection.

If any abuse u or are vile, just ignore and block because they hate being blocked...and then just tell yourself u were right, they aren't the type of person u want. X

Don't let them upset u tho, that's What they want x

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By *ush fuckerMan over a year ago

Wouldn’t You Like To Know

To many selfish disrespectful desperate men or males on here that’s the problem ...

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By *abrielle247Couple (FF) over a year ago

PDI Gran Canaria

"Do guys really send “fancy a fuck?” I thought it was a myth! Haha! Wonder how much success that has haha!!

No myth, I must receive about 10 a day like that. Any idea how I can get more.

It's a joke.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Don’t take it to heart, and don’t think all guys are the same. Some are respectful and polite.

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By *teveanddebsCouple over a year ago

Norwich

"Less likely a male in a club is married too, although not impossible."

Why on earth would you think that?

Would have thought the opposite was true.

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By *onnie And Clyde9070Couple over a year ago

Leeds

I did! It’s the fact he though it was acceptable I didn’t understand. He then promptly blocked me. Man enough to say it not man enough to wait for a reply "

You dented his ego. That's guaranteed to get you abuse on here. As has been said previously, it says everything you need to know about Him.

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By *good-being-badMan over a year ago

mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds

"I wonder what the ratios are of single men to other categories. Pretty much everyone I’ve spoken to says they’re getting inundated with messages. Perhaps there needs to be a system set up where you can get reported for spamming people then get temporarily banned from messaging or something? Or maybe there’s already one in place?"

The site provides tools to reduce the volume of incoming messages filters age and gender blocking.. it also limits the number of messages an account can send daily..

If folk are inundated use those tools.. I often see the status having to do a block delete, please send again..

some folk love the attention, if not they'd change something

I say it often be proactive look for the folk you seek with the rationale you know better than any description a profile would provide as to whom you seek.

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By *sGivesWoodWoman over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

I tend to not set filters as I like to help newbies, however I have for a short time at the moment as I'm a bit busy in real life and there's been a few abusive messages, and a few just plain daft ones.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It’s the same old story, its the you g ones and the old ones, pidgeon boxed, its the single guys, pidgeoned boxed.

The reality is everyone is different, if you want to put a tag on the ones that become abusive after sending FAF messages, they are insecure and unable to take rejection and their response is abuse, be ause thats what they have learned from their peers, monkey see, monkey do.

Each person has a right to choose and should not then suffer abuse because of their choice, use your common sense and respond as you see fit.

Yes it would be nice if everyone was nice, unfortunately we are talking about humans, take a look around, humans are not a nice race.

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By *rTall89Man over a year ago

ipswich

Firstly I'm sorry for the others of my gender who are typing said messages with one hand on their 'tiny brain'. I see so much of this from ladies and couples profile text and statuses that it genuinely makes me sad that they have to put up with this shit.

I like to try stick out from the crowd by sending a polite message relevant to the profile of the person/s I'm contacting. Which never includes a dick pic or the words want to fuck or ant variation of. When it's read and ignored/ deleted I just take it on the chin and move on.

Why the hell someone feels the need to go out of their way to make someone else feel shit I really will never understand. The world is already too full of hatred and anger. Spread some damn love and respect to one another.

/rant

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think we all know what to expect from the site and we know what it’s like,so don’t think too much into it and take it with a pinch of salt and just enjoy the good times and delete and block the bad ones

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By *itty9899Man over a year ago

Craggy Island

Probably just bitter guys who keep getting turned down alot, and they wonder why, anyway it happens just be a respectable as you can in your replys if you choose to send one and just rise above it and move on. Lots of good guys on here, so I have heard.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I just find it easier not to message anyone lol...

Oh that could be why I never get a reply and never get any fun ????

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Unfortunately some men can't take no for an answer.

Take everything with a big pinch of salt.

Don't let it get you down.

Blocking is also acceptable.

Use your filters which will narrow the messages.

Answering all the messages is not easy.

Good luck.

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By *unscot44Man over a year ago

Stepps (Glasgow)

"Don't take it to heart, it seems to be an occupational hazard on here. Use it as a filtering system,guys might seem okay with first message,and then turn nasty, then you've had a lucky break and know not to meet them. Use the block button.

I message quite a few women and hardly ever get a reply back, its a numbers game for single men there's more of us on here than single women, and their frustration shows.

That's not an excuse of course, that's probably why they're single. Be discerning who you chat to and always meet in public, and don't forget....block em.

Good luck x"

I agree totally, virtually all single men on here, including myself, will send out quite a lot of messages as the numbers are stacked against them.

However that is no excuse for them or indeed anyone to get nasty and abusive, either because they do not receive a reply or are not happy with rejection.

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By *eteinhantsMan over a year ago

Southsea

"It’s the fact they think someone actually WILL fuck that I don’t understand. Surely after several hindered no’s there must be some thought of modifying the approach?

That would require a degree of intellect which most don't have. "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I wouldn't worry about it couple's accounts get the exact same.

Generally if they clearly haven't read our profile there message is deleted, if they send multiple messages before a reply there blocked.

There's a lot of single guys on here that treat it like a sex site not a swinger site there is a difference, but they think cause your on here you just shag anything sadly but there's always a gem amongst all the crap.

Don't take there insults to heart cause most these guys throwing these around couldn't pick up a girl in the real world nevermind on here.

Dom x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I suppose I was just suprised to be called a fat c*** before 9am on a Monday morning :D

You weren’t so fat when he was interested was he sounds like a sad lonely individual

How you enjoy your experiene on here, have fun x

Exactly!

It always makes me laugh when they call you names, like they weren’t sending you sweet messages of “fancy a fuck” a few minutes ago!

But you liked my name calling

Seriously though OP do what Channele and Flaimbird have suggested.

PS. Block the guy to so he can't unblock and rebus you and then hide behind the block again.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"That is pretty much the norm when joining here.

I used to try and reply to all messages but it became difficult, a chore and even a polite no thanks would get guys sending several messages asking why or abuse.

So now any message I’m not interested in I won’t reply to and I’ll delete. If I get abuse I block and report them.

Of course it’s not hard to be nice.

People who send abuse usually aren’t nice people in general. "

I totally agree chanelle and ca hold my hand up and say I do t get why any man or women on here would be abusive unless they are being hassled!! Just shows this site is really full of nasty human beings!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"That is pretty much the norm when joining here.

I used to try and reply to all messages but it became difficult, a chore and even a polite no thanks would get guys sending several messages asking why or abuse.

So now any message I’m not interested in I won’t reply to and I’ll delete. If I get abuse I block and report them.

Quite often there's no way of knowing who is nice or not until you've said no thanks. Hence why no reply. "

Well _sgiveswood.. being a single guy and getting no replies from Lots I have had a few no thanks to to which I take.. we cant all desire the same people and i only message if I'm attracted. I've also had plenty from gay men women who I'd never sleep with but I always do a decent thing and be truthful..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"A lot of single guys on here can be a real pain , we haven’t had any Abuse from them but what we have had is guys wanting to meet but putting no effort into the meet or bottling it at the last minute , it’s really hard work trying to set up some of the types of meets we enjoy but then guys think they can mess us about or push things wanting more all the time .. getting really sick of them tbh . "

Seems there an emphasis on single guys doing this when theres plenty of couples and single females doing the same!! We ain't all arses and being here for fun and laughs,if I arranged something then it would be because I felt we could have a spark so no chance I'd be bolting!..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 04/09/18 14:58:17]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"[Removed by poster at 04/09/18 14:58:17]"
was it that good!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"[Removed by poster at 04/09/18 14:58:17] was it that good!!

Eh? X

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"[Removed by poster at 04/09/18 14:58:17] was it that good!!

Eh? X"
eh?? Lol so good you removed it?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"[Removed by poster at 04/09/18 14:58:17] was it that good!!

Eh? X eh?? Lol so good you removed it?

Oh! Yes! Something like that! Hahaha.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"[Removed by poster at 04/09/18 14:58:17] was it that good!!

Eh? X eh?? Lol so good you removed it?

Oh! Yes! Something like that! Hahaha.

puts kettle on sets up Netflix......

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By *heHookyMonsterMan over a year ago

Liverpool

"I suppose I was just suprised to be called a fat c*** before 9am on a Monday morning :D"

Head down to the Gloucester Social. You'll be welcomed and well treated by everyone!

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By *sGivesWoodWoman over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"That is pretty much the norm when joining here.

I used to try and reply to all messages but it became difficult, a chore and even a polite no thanks would get guys sending several messages asking why or abuse.

So now any message I’m not interested in I won’t reply to and I’ll delete. If I get abuse I block and report them.

Of course it’s not hard to be nice.

People who send abuse usually aren’t nice people in general.

So by saying a polite no thanks not for me is hassling someone now us it?

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By *sGivesWoodWoman over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"That is pretty much the norm when joining here.

I used to try and reply to all messages but it became difficult, a chore and even a polite no thanks would get guys sending several messages asking why or abuse.

So now any message I’m not interested in I won’t reply to and I’ll delete. If I get abuse I block and report them.

Quite often there's no way of knowing who is nice or not until you've said no thanks. Hence why no reply.

Then good for you for being truthful. You may be attracted but they may not be and vice versa. Unfortunately it's the ones that can't take a polite no thanks that spoil it for the decent people on here.

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By *onysp654Man over a year ago

Loddington

Unfortunately its people like that, that makes it hard for the genuine ones out there.

As others have said use it as a "fuckwit" filter and laugh, block and know that you're instincts were right in the first place.

This site isn't too bad, but some men seriously

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"That is pretty much the norm when joining here.

I used to try and reply to all messages but it became difficult, a chore and even a polite no thanks would get guys sending several messages asking why or abuse.

So now any message I’m not interested in I won’t reply to and I’ll delete. If I get abuse I block and report them.

Of course it’s not hard to be nice.

People who send abuse usually aren’t nice people in general.

So by saying a polite no thanks not for me is hassling someone now us it?

Not at all.. I'm saying it easy to do.. the decent thing to do.. if they dont like this then that's their issue!!

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