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Planning a private party
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Ok. Apologies as I know there are several threads on this but from your experience of hosting, what are the 3 things you must do / have ( moving on from nibbles and condoms )
And the dreaded no shows... will be mainly couples 2 or 3 we know and prob 3 or 4 we don’t , expect 2 not to show. ?
Thanks for any pearls of wisdom. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As an adjunct to condoms, make sure there are plenty of readily-available places to put the used ones. It's no fun going around after the party picking up other people's soggy johnnies. |
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The numbers is the critical factor - having enough of the right mix. It's fantasy to think you'll know how many are coming, unfortunately.
People you've met before are typically more reliable but distractions etc happen. Consider meeting some new people at local clubs, as they are used to group rules etc.
Settling boundaries is important - where and how people can use your place. Latest arrival time can be helpful.
It's OK to list what to bring and also OK to share real costs.
Plan the cleanup and exits too.
Ensure valuables are secure - yours at home plus what others bring.
Getting warmed up activities / games are ideal.
Ensure people are mutually compatible as far as possible
A few things to think of |
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"The numbers is the critical factor - having enough of the right mix. It's fantasy to think you'll know how many are coming, unfortunately.
People you've met before are typically more reliable but distractions etc happen. Consider meeting some new people at local clubs, as they are used to group rules etc.
Settling boundaries is important - where and how people can use your place. Latest arrival time can be helpful.
It's OK to list what to bring and also OK to share real costs.
Plan the cleanup and exits too.
Ensure valuables are secure - yours at home plus what others bring.
Getting warmed up activities / games are ideal.
Ensure people are mutually compatible as far as possible
A few things to think of "
Well said! |
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Thank you all. Some great input. We will be renting a private 3 bed apartment but especially the clearing up bit resonates. We alsways try and help but never see the real mess left.
There must be a market to rent play apartments ! Just a side thought. |
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"Ok. Apologies as I know there are several threads on this but from your experience of hosting, what are the 3 things you must do / have ( moving on from nibbles and condoms )
And the dreaded no shows... will be mainly couples 2 or 3 we know and prob 3 or 4 we don’t , expect 2 not to show. ?
Thanks for any pearls of wisdom. "
If some of the guests are friends, see if they’re for sharing some of the hosting duties during the evening so that you can let your hair down (or whatever...) and play for a bit without attending to stuff?
Friendly introductions and social smoothing can help put everyone at ease - I know some people like some spicier games to get in the mood but sometimes it’s also about allowing the sexual tension not to become too paralysing (especially early on)
Oh and extra towels if you can - more washing afterwards but it makes it easy for anyone who wants to freshen up before or after.
Have a great time! |
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"Ok. Apologies as I know there are several threads on this but from your experience of hosting, what are the 3 things you must do / have ( moving on from nibbles and condoms )
And the dreaded no shows... will be mainly couples 2 or 3 we know and prob 3 or 4 we don’t , expect 2 not to show. ?
Thanks for any pearls of wisdom.
If some of the guests are friends, see if they’re for sharing some of the hosting duties during the evening so that you can let your hair down (or whatever...) and play for a bit without attending to stuff?
Friendly introductions and social smoothing can help put everyone at ease - I know some people like some spicier games to get in the mood but sometimes it’s also about allowing the sexual tension not to become too paralysing (especially early on)
Oh and extra towels if you can - more washing afterwards but it makes it easy for anyone who wants to freshen up before or after.
Have a great time!"
All very helpful!!! Thanks. As you rightly say, hosting so we can have fun with the sort of mix and chemistry we like ( well hopefully all like) not to be in the kitchen ! Though we have had a lot of fun in the kitchen before. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm watching tho thread with interest as I went to host a party. I too was going to rent a 3 bedroomed apartment like yourselves and invite people I've personally met. |
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Good luck
I tried a couple of times to host a small gathering.
Had lots of expressions of interest but found most couples wanted to know who else was coming which created a vicious circle.
It might be worth finding a cohost who can invite their friends and halve the burden. |
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By *hingy2Woman
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
"The numbers is the critical factor - having enough of the right mix. It's fantasy to think you'll know how many are coming, unfortunately.
People you've met before are typically more reliable but distractions etc happen. Consider meeting some new people at local clubs, as they are used to group rules etc.
Settling boundaries is important - where and how people can use your place. Latest arrival time can be helpful.
It's OK to list what to bring and also OK to share real costs.
Plan the cleanup and exits too.
Ensure valuables are secure - yours at home plus what others bring.
Getting warmed up activities / games are ideal.
Ensure people are mutually compatible as far as possible
A few things to think of
Well said!"
Some great ideas here  |
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Depending on numbers, as well as relative costs, including per person, a hotel suite and adjacent room(s) could work, as well as the apartments. It's also influenced by how much privacy each person would be offered - several people per room vs only groups actually engaging together per room. People's preferences should match yours and the rules that you set.
Mobile phones should be made off-limits, unless everyone wants full recording and public availability (most unlikely!).
If you are paying non-refundable accommodation costs, consider taking part of this upfront from guests, so that you don't lose out. Whilst this depends upon trust upon you, as well as adds extra work, it's reasonable that you don't sustain losses, when it's not you that would be calling with a feeble excuse etc, then not attending.
Depending on the venue and guests home locations - as well as alcohol - a review of travel and alcohol use plans is reasonable. I've forgotten if it was going to be a full night including sleeping etc. I've found some people don't fully consider the full ramifications of their attendance and involvement, so at least getting them to contemplate it and questioning them for their answers, gives you fuller understanding of their suitability and reliability. It's important that you aren't subject to helping others with their mess and hassle.
Ref cleaning up - you could potentially refund 2 or 3 people, when they have helped you to clear up afterwards. If numbers dwindle, you could perhaps close and clear rooms progressively. Don't let them pay less upfront, as they will scarper without helping. You could repay what the help is worth to you, when you'd be tired and faced with a mess.
Check your venue has a safe and use it. Check your venue's rules on mess left afterwards, including extra cleaning costs they may impose. If someone could assist throughout with clearing, it would leave you more free to enjoy your party - someone who wouldn't be there to play? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How many people giving advice have actually held a party, I wonder "
Irrelevant. If you've been to one, you can have an informed opinion on what made it a success, or a failure. |
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"How many people giving advice have actually held a party, I wonder
Irrelevant. If you've been to one, you can have an informed opinion on what made it a success, or a failure."
No you can't, as your looking at it from the wrong prospective.its totally different. |
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We’re currently hosting our first party in October.
We’ve only been in the scene since April but have made ourselves known by going to lots of socials, clubs & parties.
We are using our own home as it’s quite large.
We started by messaging lots of people we’d met about our party.
We made our first message as professional as possible.
Our second message gave those interested the chance to sign up by paying a deposit via PayPal. ( everyone is covered that way)
Within a week we’ve had 10 deposits which is half the amount we’ve advertised for, and our party isn’t until late October!
We’ve sent further information regarding local accomodation and distance from the party.
We’ve also started a party kik group.
So far so good! Hoping ours will be a sexy but exciting party night! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How many people giving advice have actually held a party, I wonder
Irrelevant. If you've been to one, you can have an informed opinion on what made it a success, or a failure.
No you can't, as your looking at it from the wrong prospective.its totally different."
The objective of the host should be for the guests to have a good time. Therefore, anyone who's been a guest can provide some useful input. |
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Just to also add, we have separate rooms for playing and socialising. This allows those who are new to feel comfortable without pressure.
We’ve hand picked a each couple to allow an eclectic mix of people with great personalities. |
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"How many people giving advice have actually held a party, I wonder
Irrelevant. If you've been to one, you can have an informed opinion on what made it a success, or a failure.
No you can't, as your looking at it from the wrong prospective.its totally different.
The objective of the host should be for the guests to have a good time. Therefore, anyone who's been a guest can provide some useful input."
Like finding all the used condoms stuffed in all corners of the house and cleaning the whole house from top to bottom. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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So I've never hosted a party.. I'm just thinking about things I'd like at a party..
Are you going to host AND play or have you thought about maybe having a dedicated host. My past experience was that I felt a little awkward introducing myself to people. It would be nice to have a dedicated host to chat to people and maybe introduce those of us who a are a little shy.
Good luck OP hope it's a success. |
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We have been holding partys for the last three years now and would never dream of charging anything all we ever ask is you bring what it is you will be drinking and respect our home and the other guests we hold a party once every 6 weeks or so we had another profile dedicated to the party but Fab wasn't happy with that
Anyway it is well worth the time and effort as we have made a lot of friends the only thing I can't get my head around is we always invite singles guys on average we have found 5 or 6 to 15 cples and in all the time we have been holding partys we have never had the full number of single lads turn up
But as I said it's well worth it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How many people giving advice have actually held a party, I wonder
Irrelevant. If you've been to one, you can have an informed opinion on what made it a success, or a failure.
No you can't, as your looking at it from the wrong prospective.its totally different.
The objective of the host should be for the guests to have a good time. Therefore, anyone who's been a guest can provide some useful input.
Like finding all the used condoms stuffed in all corners of the house and cleaning the whole house from top to bottom."
Having helped out with the cleanup after a party, including used condom duty, yes. |
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