FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > so many questions
so many questions
Jump to: Newest in thread
Hey. We are wanting to try our first club however the unexpected is stopping me (fem)
Silly things like what if we want to play then invite a couple or single lady. Can u do this or if u open door is it for everyone..
What to wear feeling unconfident while not wanting to stand out as newbies...
Sounds silly but I've searched for people's first experience but the search isn't great x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Everything will depend on the club but most have private rooms so it's not open for everyone to join in unless invited. In terms of what to wear again this will depend on the club...where we go its dress down so we stay naked or, at most, a towel but worth checking with you chosen club. Most important thing is to relax, have no expectations and just have fun. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
You would obviously not have a locked door at that point and people would no doubt come in....probably better to socialise and chat to people and then invite them to join you before you start playing. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"But how do u invite people in while we are already playing
Sorry for sounding daft but these are the things worrying me x"
A general rule is if the door is shut no one enters although single guys still try, half open door ask to join and a fully open door just come in.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"But how do u invite people in while we are already playing
Sorry for sounding daft but these are the things worrying me x"
While playing with each other and you like the look of someone do is watching you, all you need to do is simoly say 'come and play'.
As Your 1st time i would suggest you treat the club like a normal club. Simply socalise. Walk around looking, finding your way around, look and learn by watching others etc. That's what we did.  *mrs |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"But how do u invite people in while we are already playing
Sorry for sounding daft but these are the things worrying me x"
Some clubs have windows for viewing just point and beckon with a finger if youre busy at the time and a hand palm means. ' no 'stay back |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"A general rule is if the door is shut no one enters although single guys still try, half open door ask to join and a fully open door just come in. "
I've yet to go to a club. I didn't know the door code - thanks! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
One of the things we love about clubs is that most people are really supportive of new couples. Everyone was new once and most people remember how it felt 
Honestly, once you get through the door and spend a few minutes taking it all in, it becomes surprisingly normal. Let people know that you're new to it and they'll usually offer some help and guidance. The club owners should give you the run down of the club and the rules of the various areas. Don't worry about trying to look like old hands.
Clothing wise, guys typically dress down into boxers. For women it's whatever you like that you feel comfortable and sexy in. For some women, that can be some skimpy underwear that you could swallow without needing water. For others it could be one piece lingerie or a neglige and stockings.
As for inviting people to join you, we tend to spend a while in the bar chatting with people we might like to play with. Either that or we'll start playing in an open room with others around us and see who catches our eye. Then it's a case of making eye contact and inviting them over. A simple head nod to the empty space next to us usually works
But absolutely just go at your own pace. Don't expect anything from your first visit other than to have any questions you may have answered. Spend some time exploring the club and watching others and then maybe visit a private room that you can enjoy together in privacy.
Good luck! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"One of the things we love about clubs is that most people are really supportive of new couples. Everyone was new once and most people remember how it felt
Honestly, once you get through the door and spend a few minutes taking it all in, it becomes surprisingly normal. Let people know that you're new to it and they'll usually offer some help and guidance. The club owners should give you the run down of the club and the rules of the various areas. Don't worry about trying to look like old hands.
Clothing wise, guys typically dress down into boxers. For women it's whatever you like that you feel comfortable and sexy in. For some women, that can be some skimpy underwear that you could swallow without needing water. For others it could be one piece lingerie or a neglige and stockings.
As for inviting people to join you, we tend to spend a while in the bar chatting with people we might like to play with. Either that or we'll start playing in an open room with others around us and see who catches our eye. Then it's a case of making eye contact and inviting them over. A simple head nod to the empty space next to us usually works
But absolutely just go at your own pace. Don't expect anything from your first visit other than to have any questions you may have answered. Spend some time exploring the club and watching others and then maybe visit a private room that you can enjoy together in privacy.
Good luck! "
can't thank you enough for this advice. You have calmed our nerves xxxx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"One of the things we love about clubs is that most people are really supportive of new couples. Everyone was new once and most people remember how it felt
Honestly, once you get through the door and spend a few minutes taking it all in, it becomes surprisingly normal. Let people know that you're new to it and they'll usually offer some help and guidance. The club owners should give you the run down of the club and the rules of the various areas. Don't worry about trying to look like old hands.
Clothing wise, guys typically dress down into boxers. For women it's whatever you like that you feel comfortable and sexy in. For some women, that can be some skimpy underwear that you could swallow without needing water. For others it could be one piece lingerie or a neglige and stockings.
As for inviting people to join you, we tend to spend a while in the bar chatting with people we might like to play with. Either that or we'll start playing in an open room with others around us and see who catches our eye. Then it's a case of making eye contact and inviting them over. A simple head nod to the empty space next to us usually works
But absolutely just go at your own pace. Don't expect anything from your first visit other than to have any questions you may have answered. Spend some time exploring the club and watching others and then maybe visit a private room that you can enjoy together in privacy.
Good luck! "
Fabulous advice here  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"One of the things we love about clubs is that most people are really supportive of new couples. Everyone was new once and most people remember how it felt
Honestly, once you get through the door and spend a few minutes taking it all in, it becomes surprisingly normal. Let people know that you're new to it and they'll usually offer some help and guidance. The club owners should give you the run down of the club and the rules of the various areas. Don't worry about trying to look like old hands.
Clothing wise, guys typically dress down into boxers. For women it's whatever you like that you feel comfortable and sexy in. For some women, that can be some skimpy underwear that you could swallow without needing water. For others it could be one piece lingerie or a neglige and stockings.
As for inviting people to join you, we tend to spend a while in the bar chatting with people we might like to play with. Either that or we'll start playing in an open room with others around us and see who catches our eye. Then it's a case of making eye contact and inviting them over. A simple head nod to the empty space next to us usually works
But absolutely just go at your own pace. Don't expect anything from your first visit other than to have any questions you may have answered. Spend some time exploring the club and watching others and then maybe visit a private room that you can enjoy together in privacy.
Good luck!
Fabulous advice here "
are you a veteran then?  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"are you a veteran then? "
In the sense that we've been on Fab for almost 4 years and have visited a fair few clubs, then I guess you could call us veterans. It's only in the last year that we've started to soft play with others so we wouldn't think of ourselves as veterans in a swinger sense though. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
The key rule anywhere is no means no.
So in an open room or even in a dark room that rule should be respected. Although in a dark room you may need to remove a hand or body part to indicate who you are talking to.
In open rooms if you have not chatted before we tend to find that if another couple likes you they will lay down next to you but not nessasarily touching. This allows for you to say something or indicate something if you want them to join.
With single guys in open rooms they may sit or stand nearby.
The good ones keep a little distance to give you that comfort. Some will hold their cock over your face, which is not appealing to us but I guess it works for some.
But a no thank you usually makes them back away. If you are ever uncomfortable just stop playing and make it clear why or go elsewhere.
Ideally as others have said, talk to people before going into a room with them as once on the bed it's a bit of a guessing game if you have not discussed likes and dislikes, limits and fantasies.
We've never had a bad experience yet, maybe some unwanted attention but always respectful of the rules. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"But how do u invite people in while we are already playing
Sorry for sounding daft but these are the things worrying me x
A general rule is if the door is shut no one enters although single guys still try, half open door ask to join and a fully open door just come in. "
You still have to ask to play though even if a door is fully open. You must always ask for consent before anything. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"But how do u invite people in while we are already playing
Sorry for sounding daft but these are the things worrying me x
A general rule is if the door is shut no one enters although single guys still try, half open door ask to join and a fully open door just come in.
You still have to ask to play though even if a door is fully open. You must always ask for consent before anything."
Indeed remiss of me can I be forgiven |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"But how do u invite people in while we are already playing
Sorry for sounding daft but these are the things worrying me x
A general rule is if the door is shut no one enters although single guys still try, half open door ask to join and a fully open door just come in.
You still have to ask to play though even if a door is fully open. You must always ask for consent before anything."
Agreed, but be aware that some may stroke a leg or a face without asking. It doesn’t bother me as I take that as the point to say yes or no, but I know some don’t like it.
I’ve never experienced anything other than respectful contact in clubs, although sometimes a little persistent.
I really hope you have a great time! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I’ve always had good experiences and for like the dress code it depends on the club each club is different and from what I’ve learned a open door is an open invitation where as a closed and locked door is a no invitation. And this is the hardest thing for first timers is getting through the front door once you do that everything after will feel easier and more natural. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
