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Getting started in the scene
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Dear Fab,
Im due to get married soon. My sex life to this point involved a lot of wild and wonderful sex full of a wide variety of experiences i want to forget and experiences ill always remember.
My wifr to be is a beautiful woman and great in bed, however, she was very much the monogomous type in her sex life before me. I think sex and love are very much synonymous for her while i know that is not really the case. We could have sex with loads of people in this fab world but only love each other.
Im asking how did you get inti swinging.
How did you persuade your other half to dip a toe?
How did your partner tease you into trying it?
How do you manage family life and kids?
Help me bring my wife to be on here so you wise people can fuck her brains out .....
Appreciate your thoughts
Dec xxx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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The kick in the ass is fair. It doesnt really address what i asked.
Hoe did you guys get involved. Did you or yoir partner sufgest it? Was it well received? Or did you just meet wgile doing it?
If shes not into it then its fine cause shes more important than this.
What would be the starting point for a new couple like?
Helpful advice would be cool? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Dear Fab,
Im due to get married soon. My sex life to this point involved a lot of wild and wonderful sex full of a wide variety of experiences i want to forget and experiences ill always remember.
My wifr to be is a beautiful woman and great in bed, however, she was very much the monogomous type in her sex life before me. I think sex and love are very much synonymous for her while i know that is not really the case. We could have sex with loads of people in this fab world but only love each other.
Im asking how did you get inti swinging.
How did you persuade your other half to dip a toe?
How did your partner tease you into trying it?
How do you manage family life and kids?
Help me bring my wife to be on here so you wise people can fuck her brains out .....
Appreciate your thoughts
Dec xxx "
You can't persuade anyone.
Truth for us. We met on a hook up site. We were both aware of each others fantasies and talked about it. When the time was right then Mrs MP suggested we give it a try.
But as others have said, only she can decide if she wants to 'dip her toe in" |
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"The kick in the ass is fair. It doesnt really address what i asked.
Hoe did you guys get involved. Did you or yoir partner sufgest it? Was it well received? Or did you just meet wgile doing it?
If shes not into it then its fine cause shes more important than this.
What would be the starting point for a new couple like?
Helpful advice would be cool? "
We'd been married a lot of years before we discussed swinging.
I don't know what to say to you because you're approaching this from the point of view that your fiancee is wrong to believe in monogamy.
Just talk to her before the wedding so that she is fully aware of how you view your sex life because it sounds to me as if you've hidden this from her.
Good luck. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Shes marrying a man she doesn't even know!Grow a pair and talk with her,let her make an informed decision."
We agree.
Grow a pair and talk to her.
If you are grown up enough to be on here, then you should be a big boy and tell her... |
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Most of us have probably been married a while and discussed this together or others probably meet whilst swinging. If you discuss this with her after your marriage, and she’s not keen will you swing behind her back.?? It’s hard to give up something that makes you, you.!! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks, i could probably have put more thought into how i phrase the initial post. I dont want to persuade her to do anyyhing she doesnt want.
I suppose im wondering how to gently get talking about it without it sounding like hey do you want to fuck other people?
I can see it as something we can do together but i can also antocipate her not seeing it that way.
Tricky one i feel.
|
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"Thanks, i could probably have put more thought into how i phrase the initial post. I dont want to persuade her to do anyyhing she doesnt want.
I suppose im wondering how to gently get talking about it without it sounding like hey do you want to fuck other people?
I can see it as something we can do together but i can also antocipate her not seeing it that way.
Tricky one i feel.
"
So do you want her to fuck other people or not?
Put yourself in your fiancees place. She has no idea you're interested in swinging and thinks you want a long and happy monogomous marriage. If you were her how would you feel if you were her and suddenly discovered that wasn't what was on the cards? |
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Do you want to build your whole marriage on a lie? Does she mean that little to you that you are keeping this vital piece of information from her in a hope to convince her at a later date? You are a stranger to her. Would she be marrying you knowing that you have these thoughts? If you have any respect for the woman you would address this issue before the marriage.
Successful swinging couple relationships are built on trust and respect not lies and deceipt. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Dear Fab,
Im due to get married soon. My sex life to this point involved a lot of wild and wonderful sex full of a wide variety of experiences i want to forget and experiences ill always remember.
My wifr to be is a beautiful woman and great in bed, however, she was very much the monogomous type in her sex life before me. I think sex and love are very much synonymous for her while i know that is not really the case. We could have sex with loads of people in this fab world but only love each other.
Im asking how did you get inti swinging.
How did you persuade your other half to dip a toe?
How did your partner tease you into trying it?
How do you manage family life and kids?
Help me bring my wife to be on here so you wise people can fuck her brains out .....
Appreciate your thoughts
Dec xxx "
This is not in my view the idea of swinging, bringing someone, both parties should be fully on board and want this as part of their life. Weve only been on this journey a short while but we have already experienced couple meets where one person didn't know we were meeting, obvious manipulation and forced attendance and totally d*unk in order to be there. Not a great experience and we declined to go any further with all of them.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Thanks, i could probably have put more thought into how i phrase the initial post. I dont want to persuade her to do anyyhing she doesnt want.
I suppose im wondering how to gently get talking about it without it sounding like hey do you want to fuck other people?
I can see it as something we can do together but i can also antocipate her not seeing it that way.
Tricky one i feel.
So do you want her to fuck other people or not?
Put yourself in your fiancees place. She has no idea you're interested in swinging and thinks you want a long and happy monogomous marriage. If you were her how would you feel if you were her and suddenly discovered that wasn't what was on the cards?"
Me thinks this advice will fall on deaf ears.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Thanks, i could probably have put more thought into how i phrase the initial post. I dont want to persuade her to do anyyhing she doesnt want.
I suppose im wondering how to gently get talking about it without it sounding like hey do you want to fuck other people?
I can see it as something we can do together but i can also antocipate her not seeing it that way.
Tricky one i feel.
So do you want her to fuck other people or not?
Put yourself in your fiancees place. She has no idea you're interested in swinging and thinks you want a long and happy monogomous marriage. If you were her how would you feel if you were her and suddenly discovered that wasn't what was on the cards?
Me thinks this advice will fall on deaf ears. "
We agree.
There are a number of people on here who do not believe in mutusal dignity, respect, or trust.
It is a shame, because this is not what the lifestyle is about. Well that is what we thought anyway. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Thanks, i could probably have put more thought into how i phrase the initial post. I dont want to persuade her to do anyyhing she doesnt want.
I suppose im wondering how to gently get talking about it without it sounding like hey do you want to fuck other people?
I can see it as something we can do together but i can also antocipate her not seeing it that way.
Tricky one i feel.
So do you want her to fuck other people or not?
Put yourself in your fiancees place. She has no idea you're interested in swinging and thinks you want a long and happy monogomous marriage. If you were her how would you feel if you were her and suddenly discovered that wasn't what was on the cards?
Me thinks this advice will fall on deaf ears.
We agree.
There are a number of people on here who do not believe in mutusal dignity, respect, or trust.
It is a shame, because this is not what the lifestyle is about. Well that is what we thought anyway."
Totally agree  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Thanks, i could probably have put more thought into how i phrase the initial post. I dont want to persuade her to do anyyhing she doesnt want.
I suppose im wondering how to gently get talking about it without it sounding like hey do you want to fuck other people?
I can see it as something we can do together but i can also antocipate her not seeing it that way.
Tricky one i feel.
"
Suggest you talk about it when having sex and use it to gauge what she thinks if it turns her on or not |
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By *adyA01Woman
over a year ago
Wellington |
Maybe you could start of by asking her what her fantasies are?
Or when you are having sex, whisper in her ear, "God it would be so hot if I were fucking you and you were sucking another mans cock"...
Let her know that you would not be adverse to seeing her do that by bringing it in to your bedroom play...
She maybe shocked by it and tell you no thanks or it might turn her on?? |
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By *ANDA2Couple
over a year ago
Henley Arden |
Unfortunately you can’t put the genie back in the bottle.
Even if you started swinging as a couple she could tell by your reactions that you are not new to the environment.
Just a question to the OP
Was you swinging whilst you were dating your wife to be? ie being unfaithful?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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How have you got as far as about to get married and not had this conversation already? You must have been together for a while now?
I’d be absolutely and utterly devastated by the betrayal if I was getting married and found out the man I was going to married had another side to his life that I knew nothing about and hadn’t been monogamous if that’s what I thought the set up was.
Both times I joined fab before it was because I met a man on tinder/ pof who was upfront about being into the swinging lifestyle before we even met so I joined to figure out if it’s somethinh I could handle in a relationship, as there was no point meeting them if I knew the answer would be no.
But had I found out much later on it would have been a whole other outcome.
If you love this woman she deserves honestly and Frank conversation. |
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Male half here. We were married 8 years before we discussed swinging. To be honest just before getting married it wasn't something I thought about, was more excited about the wedding.
If it's a big thing for you - perhaps speak to her? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Thanks, i could probably have put more thought into how i phrase the initial post. I dont want to persuade her to do anyyhing she doesnt want.
I suppose im wondering how to gently get talking about it without it sounding like hey do you want to fuck other people?
I can see it as something we can do together but i can also antocipate her not seeing it that way.
Tricky one i feel.
Suggest you talk about it when having sex and use it to gauge what she thinks if it turns her on or not"
Thanks i like that idea |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
Unfortunately you can’t put the genie back in the bottle.
Even if you started swinging as a couple she could tell by your reactions that you are not new to the environment.
Just a question to the OP
Was you swinging whilst you were dating your wife to be? ie being unfaithful?
"
I wasnt unfaithful or swinging. I was just a lot more sexually active and adventurous than she was before we were together. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"How have you got as far as about to get married and not had this conversation already? You must have been together for a while now?
I’d be absolutely and utterly devastated by the betrayal if I was getting married and found out the man I was going to married had another side to his life that I knew nothing about and hadn’t been monogamous if that’s what I thought the set up was.
Both times I joined fab before it was because I met a man on tinder/ pof who was upfront about being into the swinging lifestyle before we even met so I joined to figure out if it’s somethinh I could handle in a relationship, as there was no point meeting them if I knew the answer would be no.
But had I found out much later on it would have been a whole other outcome.
If you love this woman she deserves honestly and Frank conversation. "
I havent been unfaithful. I just think id like to try it out but i dont know how to start that conversation with her. |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"How have you got as far as about to get married and not had this conversation already? You must have been together for a while now?
I’d be absolutely and utterly devastated by the betrayal if I was getting married and found out the man I was going to married had another side to his life that I knew nothing about and hadn’t been monogamous if that’s what I thought the set up was.
Both times I joined fab before it was because I met a man on tinder/ pof who was upfront about being into the swinging lifestyle before we even met so I joined to figure out if it’s somethinh I could handle in a relationship, as there was no point meeting them if I knew the answer would be no.
But had I found out much later on it would have been a whole other outcome.
If you love this woman she deserves honestly and Frank conversation.
I havent been unfaithful. I just think id like to try it out but i dont know how to start that conversation with her. "
If you haven't been unfaithful then how do you explain the green verified tick. Either stop swinging and discuss it with her or don't get married and lie to her. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Being on here without her knowing is hurtful! If you’re thinking of swinging you need to have 100% trust and 100% honesty. By being on here without her knowing proves that you can’t respect her enough to be open and upfront to start with.
How would you feel if your fiancé was being deceitful like this and disrespecting your feelings like this????
Give your head a wobble, get off here and start being honest! |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"Being on here without her knowing is hurtful! If you’re thinking of swinging you need to have 100% trust and 100% honesty. By being on here without her knowing proves that you can’t respect her enough to be open and upfront to start with.
How would you feel if your fiancé was being deceitful like this and disrespecting your feelings like this????
Give your head a wobble, get off here and start being honest!"
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For us we always had a fantasy of having a threesome as the wife has always had a fascination with boobs and women's bodies. We went to clubs to see if we could make our fantasy a reality and went from there. We play as a couple and always as soft swap, if the mood takes us there and we all agree we will sometimes go full swap too. For us it's about having fun as a couple and enjoying having fun together with other couples. We never did do our fantasy as a threesome but it sounds less appealing now as we prefer 4 way fun with everyone always involved. |
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Personally, I think that the only reason swinging works for a couple is that there is a unbreakable trust and understanding of each other. I can't imagine us doing it as newly-weds it took us many years to get to the point where we know there is no need for jealousy.
Cal |
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To be fair my partner had some bad experiences prior to us getting back together and she explained in depth the things that had happened over a few years and i thought she would never go back to swinging again but as the time passed and with the support and understanding I gave her she suddenly 1 day suggested that a may like swinging as a couple. Having never done this before I was excited and also worried about the effects on her and our relationship. We talk everything through together and we always stick to our rules. So I guess communication is the key swinging success and we have been happy ever since x |
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It took me ten years to pursuade my wife to go with another guy. We now go to clubs most weekends and the lifestyle is now our biggest joint hobby. It is something that we do together and it has made our relationship better and stronger. Honesty, trust and good communication are essential before, during and after. Never forget that it is something that you do together. Never put your or someone else's feelings before your wife's. Never break the jointly agreed boundaries on a meet. So this is what I suggest you do.
1. Come off this site immediately. 2. Choose your moments to tell your future wife what really turns you on. 3. Ask her what really turns her on and what her wildest fantasies are. 4. Be patient. Go slow. It could take years for you to build up trust and reassure her every step of the way. 5. Buy her a big dildo. Use it to make her cum. Plant the seeds that bigger and different cocks are enjoyable to her. 6. Watch porn together which depicts your fantasy and her fantasy. 7. If you are lucky your fantasies will be similar. Concentrate on the joint fantasy. 8. Reassure her all the time that you will love her no matter what. 9. If you are really lucky she will go to a swingers club with you. Promise her that neither of you will play. Just watch and talk. Don't play. Build it up from there for future visits. Small steps. Patience, love, communication, trust and honesty. If you are very lucky, then one day she may play with another guy. It will be awesome and blow both your minds. You are now on your way. Be careful that the lifestyle is addictive and that you will never be able to put the genie back in the bottle. I love, respect and appreciate my wife so so much for all the awesome times she has given me. I'm one very lucky guy. Good luck buddy! |
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