So... I have recently been on a few standard dates with a non fabber (or so I think). This guy is from my local area and is a pretty good match on most levels 
We haven’t done anything sexual as yet and my question is....
Do I be myself and let the wild side loose or vanilla it down for him?
Don’t think I could hack a simple vanilla all the time but I also don’t want to
1) scare him off or
2) give him gossip for the locals to thrive on
HELPPPPP!!!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My advice is this. See if this has legs and put the swing world to one side while you do it. As for being yourself then yes absolutely be yourself but don't be a bull in a china shop. You never know he might match you in everyway but slowly catchy monkey....! Good luck xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Believe it or not there is such a thing as sex that's so good you can't be bothered with swinging. So see if that's there first before you start making things more complex. Fingers crossed for you xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Believe it or not there is such a thing as sex that's so good you can't be bothered with swinging. So see if that's there first before you start making things more complex. Fingers crossed for you xx"
She has already said that she isn't worried about other people and its the Fetty stuff she is more concerned about, which is totally different. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"swinging isn’t the issue. I’m not bothered about bringing others in. It’s the more kinkier stuff I don’t want to let go of x"
Ah gotcha. Sorry  I'd say stay vanilla to start but maybe confess to certain "fantasies" when the moment arises  it's the softest way of introducing the issue
There is a chance he may not like your kinks. It is an acquired taste. I'm not sure I'd ever get off on hitting a woman for example. So you may need to decide how important it is to you when you get there. But I wouldn't force him into it. Either he likes it, in which case great, or he doesn't, in which case it's either him or the kink. Good luck xx |
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"So... I have recently been on a few standard dates with a non fabber (or so I think). This guy is from my local area and is a pretty good match on most levels
We haven’t done anything sexual as yet and my question is....
Do I be myself and let the wild side loose or vanilla it down for him?
Don’t think I could hack a simple vanilla all the time but I also don’t want to
1) scare him off or
2) give him gossip for the locals to thrive on
HELPPPPP!!!!!"
Well my advice is you should be very honest with them from the word go and be yourself. They have to approve of your passion for swinging.
If you don't say it now it could start effecting your future relationship as you might not be happy with a vanilla lifestyle as I know I wasn't and it's hard if the other person doesn't approve.
Best thing you can do is talk to them as an adult about you x if they don't except you for you then they aren't worth it or deserve you xx
Hope it helps |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Believe it or not there is such a thing as sex that's so good you can't be bothered with swinging. So see if that's there first before you start making things more complex. Fingers crossed for you xx"
i agree |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Believe it or not there is such a thing as sex that's so good you can't be bothered with swinging. So see if that's there first before you start making things more complex. Fingers crossed for you xx
She has already said that she isn't worried about other people and its the Fetty stuff she is more concerned about, which is totally different."
Disagree. if you are happy and content and the sex is great and some kinky shit can be done and some people i dated was more kinkier and into fet that people in the scene |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Surely you don’t have to be a swinger to like kinky stuff. We were into it decades before we started swinging.
Just go with the flow, don’t overthink- he may be as kinky as you or keen to explore!
Good luck  |
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Nope for me swinging isn’t my main kink. Soft bdsm, role play, voyeurism and lots of exploring limits.
I’m gonna just see how it goes. Let him lead and then discuss it when the opportunity arises
Thanks for the advice guys xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Surely you don’t have to be a swinger to like kinky stuff. We were into it decades before we started swinging.
Just go with the flow, don’t overthink- he may be as kinky as you or keen to explore!
Good luck "
iknow a few who arent into swing and into fet |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Nope for me swinging isn’t my main kink. Soft bdsm, role play, voyeurism and lots of exploring limits.
I’m gonna just see how it goes. Let him lead and then discuss it when the opportunity arises
Thanks for the advice guys xx"
a good way |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My advice is this. See if this has legs and put the swing world to one side while you do it. As for being yourself then yes absolutely be yourself but don't be a bull in a china shop. You never know he might match you in everyway but slowly catchy monkey....! Good luck xx"
Perfect |
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