FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Would you stand me up?
Would you stand me up?
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By *ivinefox OP Woman
over a year ago
Coventry |
This happened to me last night. Had arranged to meet someone in a pub for a social. Sent him the address, he said, look out for me, I turned up on time, he never turned up. He had a lot of good verifications so seemed genuine. Why do men do this? I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask for a social with someone you may be intimate with? I need to feel an attraction with someone before I will jump into bed with them. I know you can’t name and shame someone on here but it’s really upset me. I’ve not been on here for over a year as I was in a relationship. Come back on here and the men are as unreliable as ever...?? |
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"This happened to me last night. Had arranged to meet someone in a pub for a social. Sent him the address, he said, look out for me, I turned up on time, he never turned up. He had a lot of good verifications so seemed genuine. Why do men do this? I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask for a social with someone you may be intimate with? I need to feel an attraction with someone before I will jump into bed with them. I know you can’t name and shame someone on here but it’s really upset me. I’ve not been on here for over a year as I was in a relationship. Come back on here and the men are as unreliable as ever...??"
I don't get it either, but it seems to happen a lot on here.
Have you been able to ask him why? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Apparently manners get lost on here which is so frustrating. Had a similar experience myself recently and it does make you want to name and shame! But obviously won't. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This happened to me last night. Had arranged to meet someone in a pub for a social. Sent him the address, he said, look out for me, I turned up on time, he never turned up. He had a lot of good verifications so seemed genuine. Why do men do this? I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask for a social with someone you may be intimate with? I need to feel an attraction with someone before I will jump into bed with them. I know you can’t name and shame someone on here but it’s really upset me. I’ve not been on here for over a year as I was in a relationship. Come back on here and the men are as unreliable as ever...??"
Well more fool him you look amazing to me, who knows why people do this  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This happened to me last night. Had arranged to meet someone in a pub for a social. Sent him the address, he said, look out for me, I turned up on time, he never turned up. He had a lot of good verifications so seemed genuine. Why do men do this? I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask for a social with someone you may be intimate with? I need to feel an attraction with someone before I will jump into bed with them. I know you can’t name and shame someone on here but it’s really upset me. I’ve not been on here for over a year as I was in a relationship. Come back on here and the men are as unreliable as ever...??"
I've been let down also hun...just block him and move on is best |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This happened to me last night. Had arranged to meet someone in a pub for a social. Sent him the address, he said, look out for me, I turned up on time, he never turned up. He had a lot of good verifications so seemed genuine. Why do men do this? I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask for a social with someone you may be intimate with? I need to feel an attraction with someone before I will jump into bed with them. I know you can’t name and shame someone on here but it’s really upset me. I’ve not been on here for over a year as I was in a relationship. Come back on here and the men are as unreliable as ever...??"
That’s a real pity, I suppose there are selfish people in every group of individuals and unfortunately I think, for many, people don’t really seem real if they haven’t had a real-life interaction so they can be even less considerate |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We’ve had it happen way to many times to its extremely rude ,once agree to meet we always turn up ,seems to be the guys that promised not to let you down or mess you around lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This happened to me last night. Had arranged to meet someone in a pub for a social. Sent him the address, he said, look out for me, I turned up on time, he never turned up. He had a lot of good verifications so seemed genuine. Why do men do this? I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask for a social with someone you may be intimate with? I need to feel an attraction with someone before I will jump into bed with them. I know you can’t name and shame someone on here but it’s really upset me. I’ve not been on here for over a year as I was in a relationship. Come back on here and the men are as unreliable as ever...??"
How do you know he didn't turn up? |
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By *itty9899Man
over a year ago
Craggy Island |
"This happened to me last night. Had arranged to meet someone in a pub for a social. Sent him the address, he said, look out for me, I turned up on time, he never turned up. He had a lot of good verifications so seemed genuine. Why do men do this? I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask for a social with someone you may be intimate with? I need to feel an attraction with someone before I will jump into bed with them. I know you can’t name and shame someone on here but it’s really upset me. I’ve not been on here for over a year as I was in a relationship. Come back on here and the men are as unreliable as ever...??"
I always keep my appointmentS, unless im dead or dying, I hate when people don't turn up, it's just rude.
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By *ivinefox OP Woman
over a year ago
Coventry |
Thanks for all the kind messages everyone! I’ve recently come out of a stable but unfulfilling relationship and came back on here for some nice, uncomplicated fun to make me feel better. However it’s just made me feel worse. Maybe this isn’t the right place for me at the moment... |
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By *os19Man
over a year ago
Edmonton |
"This happened to me last night. Had arranged to meet someone in a pub for a social. Sent him the address, he said, look out for me, I turned up on time, he never turned up. He had a lot of good verifications so seemed genuine. Why do men do this? I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask for a social with someone you may be intimate with? I need to feel an attraction with someone before I will jump into bed with them. I know you can’t name and shame someone on here but it’s really upset me. I’ve not been on here for over a year as I was in a relationship. Come back on here and the men are as unreliable as ever...??"
. No way would I have stood you up you look amazing in your pictures and as other have already said on this forum it’s his lost.Unless he has a very good reason for not turning up and making contact with you to let you know why he couldn’t meet you then he is a idiot and makes us single guys look bad please don’t let this idiot ruin Fabs for you.
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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
"Thanks for all the kind messages everyone! I’ve recently come out of a stable but unfulfilling relationship and came back on here for some nice, uncomplicated fun to make me feel better. However it’s just made me feel worse. Maybe this isn’t the right place for me at the moment..."
Don't over think it because you'll just start doubting yourself. I've been stood up before, it's not nice and such a waste of valuable time. Just think if he can do that than he's not the kind of guy you would want to get to know anyway...
Hugs x |
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"This happened to me last night. Had arranged to meet someone in a pub for a social. Sent him the address, he said, look out for me, I turned up on time, he never turned up. He had a lot of good verifications so seemed genuine. Why do men do this? I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask for a social with someone you may be intimate with? I need to feel an attraction with someone before I will jump into bed with them. I know you can’t name and shame someone on here but it’s really upset me. I’ve not been on here for over a year as I was in a relationship. Come back on here and the men are as unreliable as ever...??"
Shit happens... but when it does it takes only a second to send a message saying that something has cropped up.
Leaving you there in limbo is totally unacceptable.
Personally I think you have had a lucky escape as he was probably a selfish lover too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thanks for all the kind messages everyone! I’ve recently come out of a stable but unfulfilling relationship and came back on here for some nice, uncomplicated fun to make me feel better. However it’s just made me feel worse. Maybe this isn’t the right place for me at the moment..."
maybe not, good luck
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"Thanks for all the kind messages everyone! I’ve recently come out of a stable but unfulfilling relationship and came back on here for some nice, uncomplicated fun to make me feel better. However it’s just made me feel worse. Maybe this isn’t the right place for me at the moment..."
Only you can really decide that, but I wouldn't advise leting a incident like this put you off entirely. Sure there's some time wasters on here, but I'm sure there's a lot of genuine people too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Again, sorry you experienced this.
I'd be equally livid. You'd think people would have common sense to advise they can't make it for whatever reason. I don't think some blokes realise women spend more time getting ready than we do.
Thing about common sense though is that it's not that common. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This happened to me last night. Had arranged to meet someone in a pub for a social. Sent him the address, he said, look out for me, I turned up on time, he never turned up. He had a lot of good verifications so seemed genuine. Why do men do this? I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask for a social with someone you may be intimate with? I need to feel an attraction with someone before I will jump into bed with them. I know you can’t name and shame someone on here but it’s really upset me. I’ve not been on here for over a year as I was in a relationship. Come back on here and the men are as unreliable as ever...??"
Must have been a muppet to stand you up! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's not just men who do it I"m afraid. It's happened to me a couple of times.
The first time I travelled quite away and learned my lesson. The second time I made sure I had alternative plans in case of a no show so my journey wasn't wasted.
I'm not sure you'll ever know the reason why people don't turn up. The reasons will be varied I'm sure. I |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This happened to me last night. Had arranged to meet someone in a pub for a social. Sent him the address, he said, look out for me, I turned up on time, he never turned up. He had a lot of good verifications so seemed genuine. Why do men do this? I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask for a social with someone you may be intimate with? I need to feel an attraction with someone before I will jump into bed with them. I know you can’t name and shame someone on here but it’s really upset me. I’ve not been on here for over a year as I was in a relationship. Come back on here and the men are as unreliable as ever...??"
His loss x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This happened to me twice this week, first one messaged him an hour before we meetings s I hadn’t heard from him and he starts with all the “traffic” excuses and then ten mins before we meet he asks if we can rearrange. And then today was meant to be meeting for a social and when I asked if he was still wanting to meet he said he wasn’t feeling great and to rearrange.
Poor excuses on both accounts |
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By *mp411Man
over a year ago
chester |
"This happened to me last night. Had arranged to meet someone in a pub for a social. Sent him the address, he said, look out for me, I turned up on time, he never turned up. He had a lot of good verifications so seemed genuine. Why do men do this? I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask for a social with someone you may be intimate with? I need to feel an attraction with someone before I will jump into bed with them. I know you can’t name and shame someone on here but it’s really upset me. I’ve not been on here for over a year as I was in a relationship. Come back on here and the men are as unreliable as ever...??"
Hun the guy is obviously a moron unless he has had some massive accident or lost a leg forget him  |
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By *aptain VMan
over a year ago
Birstall, Leicester |
"This happened to me last night. Had arranged to meet someone in a pub for a social. Sent him the address, he said, look out for me, I turned up on time, he never turned up. He had a lot of good verifications so seemed genuine. Why do men do this? I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask for a social with someone you may be intimate with? I need to feel an attraction with someone before I will jump into bed with them. I know you can’t name and shame someone on here but it’s really upset me. I’ve not been on here for over a year as I was in a relationship. Come back on here and the men are as unreliable as ever...??"
I've been stood up but I've never stood any one up. It's very disheartening when some one does this to you and you loose trust in people |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have had a couple of no shows ( who later stated that she never intended to show ) but I would always show up for a meet unless I was poorly of course |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
OP there's absolutely no excuse for a no show and I'm very sorry it's happened to you - especially if he's not had the good grace to apologise or explain himself either.
There's sadly not a lot you can do to guarantee someone is going to show up other than spend time chatting to them and building a connection/chemistry beforehand and even then it's not totally foolproof.
Either way you've done absolutely nothing wrong as others have said - only you can decide how this affects your future use of the site but not all are like it.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sorry to hear this
Guys really don't string us along
Or fuck our minds
I kind of go with my gut intinct
I been chatting to a guy but he not really interested just the way he is in his messages and I don't even know his real name because first words were... Yummy hi... Thats what makes it look bad for the good guys... It's not about playing games either |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have never stood anyone up.
If another is prepared to take time out of their life to meet me, it's a bit rude not to turn up."
Me neither but I have had a couple of no shows who I blocked |
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"This happened to me last night. Had arranged to meet someone in a pub for a social. Sent him the address, he said, look out for me, I turned up on time, he never turned up. He had a lot of good verifications so seemed genuine. Why do men do this? I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask for a social with someone you may be intimate with? I need to feel an attraction with someone before I will jump into bed with them. I know you can’t name and shame someone on here but it’s really upset me. I’ve not been on here for over a year as I was in a relationship. Come back on here and the men are as unreliable as ever...??"
I would travel the 130 miles if I could.  |
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"This happened to me last night. Had arranged to meet someone in a pub for a social. Sent him the address, he said, look out for me, I turned up on time, he never turned up. He had a lot of good verifications so seemed genuine. Why do men do this? I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask for a social with someone you may be intimate with? I need to feel an attraction with someone before I will jump into bed with them. I know you can’t name and shame someone on here but it’s really upset me. I’ve not been on here for over a year as I was in a relationship. Come back on here and the men are as unreliable as ever...??"
No I would not I’d prefer to gently lie you down
There loss is Defo someone else’s gain |
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We had this too on Saturday and the guy has since went awol from the site. It’s really annoying especially if you have spent a while chatting trying to build up a connection. I think this site is unfortunately full of fantasists who get off on the idea of meeting for sex and talking about it but when it comes to doing it they are all talk.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Never understood what drives people to behave in this way, they my must get some perverse pleasure from annoying folk.
I would never dream of arranging a meet I didn't intend to go to!
It's also give genuine men a bad name ......the f*****s
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"OP there's absolutely no excuse for a no show and I'm very sorry it's happened to you - especially if he's not had the good grace to apologise or explain himself either.
There's sadly not a lot you can do to guarantee someone is going to show up other than spend time chatting to them and building a connection/chemistry beforehand and even then it's not totally foolproof.
Either way you've done absolutely nothing wrong as others have said - only you can decide how this affects your future use of the site but not all are like it. "
There are plenty of valid reasons for a no show the. If a family member was involved in an accident, the last thing I'd be thinking is 'Must cancel that meet'. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This happened to me last night. Had arranged to meet someone in a pub for a social. Sent him the address, he said, look out for me, I turned up on time, he never turned up. He had a lot of good verifications so seemed genuine. Why do men do this? I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask for a social with someone you may be intimate with? I need to feel an attraction with someone before I will jump into bed with them. I know you can’t name and shame someone on here but it’s really upset me. I’ve not been on here for over a year as I was in a relationship. Come back on here and the men are as unreliable as ever...??"
No you look fabulous |
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By *urlinaTV/TS
over a year ago
London W1 |
As an experienced hookup artist I have a fine tuned sense of who will and who won't follow through, but even I am occasionally shocked. Twice in the last month men have been ok right up to the point of confirming a meet an hour beforehand and then simply went quiet. In such cases I never ask why they've behaved badly; I never recriminate, Indeed, I never say anything. I simply write them off forever. There are highly attractive men who have pursued me for years, apparently not even comprehending why I ignore them, but nonetheless I do. No second chances. This game requires a very thick skin. |
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You are stunning!
It may be that he got intimidated by your good looks and lost his nerve. He was a fool!!!!
Embarrassingly I lost my nerve when a lady approached me once (she was a 10/10, I rate myself as a 5.5/10). It does happen and I did message her - she blocked me which was fair enough. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Wow, I'd never have imagined the ladies on here got stood up.
It's probably because the men are married and their unknowing partner sprung other plans on them!! |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"OP there's absolutely no excuse for a no show and I'm very sorry it's happened to you - especially if he's not had the good grace to apologise or explain himself either.
There's sadly not a lot you can do to guarantee someone is going to show up other than spend time chatting to them and building a connection/chemistry beforehand and even then it's not totally foolproof.
Either way you've done absolutely nothing wrong as others have said - only you can decide how this affects your future use of the site but not all are like it.
There are plenty of valid reasons for a no show the. If a family member was involved in an accident, the last thing I'd be thinking is 'Must cancel that meet'. "
Fair point well made - however if the person concerned has appeared on-line and after a reasonable period of time there's been no contact or apology then everything I said stands |
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It's happened to me recently. I'd cammed the guy. He'd wanted to meet for a coffee, arranged a time and place. Total no show. Next thing he's gone UNLOS! So annoying especially as I'd used the last of my best mascara  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"OP there's absolutely no excuse for a no show and I'm very sorry it's happened to you - especially if he's not had the good grace to apologise or explain himself either.
There's sadly not a lot you can do to guarantee someone is going to show up other than spend time chatting to them and building a connection/chemistry beforehand and even then it's not totally foolproof.
Either way you've done absolutely nothing wrong as others have said - only you can decide how this affects your future use of the site but not all are like it.
There are plenty of valid reasons for a no show the. If a family member was involved in an accident, the last thing I'd be thinking is 'Must cancel that meet'.
Fair point well made - however if the person concerned has appeared on-line and after a reasonable period of time there's been no contact or apology then everything I said stands "
It only stands if the other party didn't actually show, but you don't know he didn't. |
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"As an experienced hookup artist I have a fine tuned sense of who will and who won't follow through, but even I am occasionally shocked. Twice in the last month men have been ok right up to the point of confirming a meet an hour beforehand and then simply went quiet. In such cases I never ask why they've behaved badly; I never recriminate, Indeed, I never say anything. I simply write them off forever. There are highly attractive men who have pursued me for years, apparently not even comprehending why I ignore them, but nonetheless I do. No second chances. This game requires a very thick skin. "
Anybody who stands people up deserves this. If you organise a meet have the good grace to turn up. Losing your nerve during sex is a long way from being nervous at meeting someone. If you set the wheels in motion, follow it through, you can at least get a Veri, better still, get some respect as being a decent human by being honerable. It's not difficult. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well, it's sad really that someone did this to you.
Its utter guttersnipe of them to treat a lady with the utmost discontent.
Shame on you whoever did this.
There are good ones around x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hello,
Ive only been on here a matter of weeks, a friend of mine said it was the best place to sign up for no strings sex, as opposed to tinder or plenty of fish.
Apparently, people on here are nicer, more honest and do not message you around.
I must say that to hear about this and that it is not an isolated incident, disappoints me somewhat.
Personally, I would expect everyone to behave in a polite and courteous manner. One would suppose that the nature of this site would encourage and allow people to be honest.
I'm sorry to hear that you were let down. I agree with others in that I wouldn't have done that except if a real emergency happened, in which case you'd be notified.
Happy fabbing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This happened to me last night. Had arranged to meet someone in a pub for a social. Sent him the address, he said, look out for me, I turned up on time, he never turned up. He had a lot of good verifications so seemed genuine. Why do men do this? I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask for a social with someone you may be intimate with? I need to feel an attraction with someone before I will jump into bed with them. I know you can’t name and shame someone on here but it’s really upset me. I’ve not been on here for over a year as I was in a relationship. Come back on here and the men are as unreliable as ever...??"
He is a bloody fool for standing you up. You are a very sexy woman. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's not just guys that do this lots of ladies too and some couples that's why I think I will go to club to meet everyone there for the sabe reason a good time no bull shit |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've been finding the same, men not replying or meeting x"
Hey its all about conversation not just one word replies, hi, ok,maybe, yes,no omg I hate them replies find out about each other telephone each other meet each other it's simple really |
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This happened to me in February. Talking to a verified man. Good banter for a good while. We both decide to meet. He suggested a place to meet on a Tuesday night. Good banter in the days running up to the meet with Looking forward to meeting messaging!
Then Tuesday; I sent a polite "Still on for later message?" I could see he read it. No reply. Gutted. However; since then I have met some lovely men who turned up! Had a relationship with 1 and a few meets with another. Don't let one guy let you get down. Just say "next" in your head and move on...
Incidently; didn't here from the Feb guy until a few weeks ago. He messaged to apologise and a few messages at that. He is now enjoying MY silence... Haha!
Keep hunting OP! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This happened to me last night. Had arranged to meet someone in a pub for a social. Sent him the address, he said, look out for me, I turned up on time, he never turned up. He had a lot of good verifications so seemed genuine. Why do men do this? I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask for a social with someone you may be intimate with? I need to feel an attraction with someone before I will jump into bed with them. I know you can’t name and shame someone on here but it’s really upset me. I’ve not been on here for over a year as I was in a relationship. Come back on here and the men are as unreliable as ever...??"
Not all of us we also have arranged meets recently and had no shows, never had any before so were just putting it down to bad luck. Don't despair they're are good reliable people on here but also fantasists and waste of space people as well.  |
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By *m3232Man
over a year ago
maidenhead |
Don’t take it to heart. Sadly it happens quite a bit.
Even with lots of experience you will still find someone who will mess you are. It’s a fact of life more than happening on here.
Do t do anything that costs money meeting someone you haven’t met before until you have seen them face to face then you are most likely not to get messed around.
Myself your pictures are stunning and I would definitely turn up |
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