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How can I overcome my club worries?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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After taking a break from going to the club in the evening, I'm going to Cupids for the evening on Thursday but I'm worried that the evening is gonna be another letdown like it has been on the past few evening visits.
I know that I should go with zero expectations which I always do but I'm worried that I'm gonna be on my own all night while everyone has got someone to talk to and I don't like butting in on a conversation as it feels like I'm invading their space.
What can I do? |
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By *khot1Couple
over a year ago
somewhere over the rainbow |
Wait until there are events, there are usually chat groups set up, join one and talk... As for just turning up, do you expect everyone to come over to you and start a convo? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Wait until there are events, there are usually chat groups set up, join one and talk... As for just turning up, do you expect everyone to come over to you and start a convo? "
I do not expect that but with having Asperger's, my social skills are not so good. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think I had techniques on what to do to prevent myself from going into a meltdown but I've completely forgot what they were."
Drop a message to the club explaining your concerns, sure they would make an effort to do some introductions etc. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think I had techniques on what to do to prevent myself from going into a meltdown but I've completely forgot what they were.
Drop a message to the club explaining your concerns, sure they would make an effort to do some introductions etc."
I'm sure I did that before my first visit to the club last year.
As for trying to meet new people, I've tried wandering about the club and staying at the bar and nothing seems to work. It's make me feel like I'm a ghost. Even when I leave on these disappointing evening, no one notices as they're too busy enjoying themselves. |
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"I think I had techniques on what to do to prevent myself from going into a meltdown but I've completely forgot what they were.
Drop a message to the club explaining your concerns, sure they would make an effort to do some introductions etc.
I'm sure I did that before my first visit to the club last year.
As for trying to meet new people, I've tried wandering about the club and staying at the bar and nothing seems to work. It's make me feel like I'm a ghost. Even when I leave on these disappointing evening, no one notices as they're too busy enjoying themselves."
Know exactly where you’re coming from fella; the club scene is a tough gig for a single guy, however outgoing a person you are. I can appreciate the ‘ghost’ feeling you’ve experienced too, I likened it to wearing Harry Potter’s invisibility cloak myself 
Choose ‘party’ events like Cupid’s MOTD which I think you’ve been to before? Also keep an eye out for people looking for club meets on particular dates, then message privately and see how things lie from there.
Good luck  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think I had techniques on what to do to prevent myself from going into a meltdown but I've completely forgot what they were.
Drop a message to the club explaining your concerns, sure they would make an effort to do some introductions etc.
I'm sure I did that before my first visit to the club last year.
As for trying to meet new people, I've tried wandering about the club and staying at the bar and nothing seems to work. It's make me feel like I'm a ghost. Even when I leave on these disappointing evening, no one notices as they're too busy enjoying themselves.
Know exactly where you’re coming from fella; the club scene is a tough gig for a single guy, however outgoing a person you are. I can appreciate the ‘ghost’ feeling you’ve experienced too, I likened it to wearing Harry Potter’s invisibility cloak myself
Choose ‘party’ events like Cupid’s MOTD which I think you’ve been to before? Also keep an eye out for people looking for club meets on particular dates, then message privately and see how things lie from there.
Good luck "
Yeah I've always been going to MOTD events at Cupids. I will try looking but the meets on particular dates will probably be mostly on dates I'm not available. |
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Op. I understand you have aspergers but what you describe is the same as many other people. People dont know you have social anxiety when you go to a club.
People like people that join in and have a laugh. If your sitting on your own its unlikely you will be approached.
It can be overcome but you need to do the hard work. Say hi to everyone and smile and i bet someone will say hi and smile back.
You have a nice face. Use it by smiling with it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"After taking a break from going to the club in the evening, I'm going to Cupids for the evening on Thursday but I'm worried that the evening is gonna be another letdown like it has been on the past few evening visits.
I know that I should go with zero expectations which I always do but I'm worried that I'm gonna be on my own all night while everyone has got someone to talk to and I don't like butting in on a conversation as it feels like I'm invading their space.
What can I do?"
I find good places to strike up conversation are the hot tub and sauna areas, inhibitions are broken down because of lack of clothing plus I'm a chatterbox...... Try it |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Op. I understand you have aspergers but what you describe is the same as many other people. People dont know you have social anxiety when you go to a club.
People like people that join in and have a laugh. If your sitting on your own its unlikely you will be approached.
It can be overcome but you need to do the hard work. Say hi to everyone and smile and i bet someone will say hi and smile back.
You have a nice face. Use it by smiling with it"
Thank you. I'll make sure to keep that in mind tomorrow night. |
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"I agree with the post to go in the hot tub
That is what I do. Much easier to join in conversation in there. "
I’m sure if the OP has norks like yours, he’ll not struggle for people to chat with either |
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