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Swinging with other partner
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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is it classed as cheating when a partner that played once with partner at home finds a new playing partner because th'ey're partner at home won't play anymore. The new playing partner was kept a secret .They only play together. Stayed night together.and was Kept a secret. The playing partner came to house secretly for a cuppa The other partner has told them both please stop it's upsetting me. They've continued. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I know bit long winded question. So will ask again more briefly. If a partner is swinging behind a partners back with the same person and keeping it a secret having a night away secretly and still continuing after being told it's upsetting them . Is it cheating? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I know bit long winded question. So will ask again more briefly. If a partner is swinging behind a partners back with the same person and keeping it a secret having a night away secretly and still continuing after being told it's upsetting them . Is it cheating?"
100% yes.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes it's cheating, and I know this sounds harsh but if you know about it and it's upsetting you, yet they are still doing it, then I think you need to be the one to make some decisions. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I know bit long winded question. So will ask again more briefly. If a partner is swinging behind a partners back with the same person and keeping it a secret having a night away secretly and still continuing after being told it's upsetting them . Is it cheating?
"
If your swinging with your partner your both being honest...
If your not (for whatever reason) your being dishonest and cheating. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"is it classed as cheating when a partner that played once with partner at home finds a new playing partner because th'ey're partner at home won't play anymore. The new playing partner was kept a secret .They only play together. Stayed night together.and was Kept a secret. The playing partner came to house secretly for a cuppa The other partner has told them both please stop it's upsetting me. They've continued."
The secret is the problem so yes undoubtedly it's wrong. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"is it classed as cheating when a partner that played once with partner at home finds a new playing partner because th'ey're partner at home won't play anymore. The new playing partner was kept a secret .They only play together. Stayed night together.and was Kept a secret. The playing partner came to house secretly for a cuppa The other partner has told them both please stop it's upsetting me. They've continued."
Yes it is, now Stop it |
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"I know bit long winded question. So will ask again more briefly. If a partner is swinging behind a partners back with the same person and keeping it a secret having a night away secretly and still continuing after being told it's upsetting them . Is it cheating?"
No its an affair. |
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By *ilk_TreMan
over a year ago
Wherever the party is! |
"is it classed as cheating when a partner that played once with partner at home finds a new playing partner because th'ey're partner at home won't play anymore. The new playing partner was kept a secret .They only play together. Stayed night together.and was Kept a secret. The playing partner came to house secretly for a cuppa The other partner has told them both please stop it's upsetting me. They've continued."
A (very rough) definition of cheating is whenever somebody does something that's outside of pre agreed rules.
So...the two things to ask are: 1) What rules did WE agree on and 2) Have we gone outside those rules?
I've given a general answer as I hope this not only helps the OP but others in similar situations. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"is it classed as cheating when a partner that played once with partner at home finds a new playing partner because th'ey're partner at home won't play anymore. The new playing partner was kept a secret .They only play together. Stayed night together.and was Kept a secret. The playing partner came to house secretly for a cuppa The other partner has told them both please stop it's upsetting me. They've continued."
yes and you know it  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I know bit long winded question. So will ask again more briefly. If a partner is swinging behind a partners back with the same person and keeping it a secret having a night away secretly and still continuing after being told it's upsetting them . Is it cheating?"
thanks for breaking that down. I thought your first post was a mind bender . The answer is yes it's cheating .
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I know bit long winded question. So will ask again more briefly. If a partner is swinging behind a partners back with the same person and keeping it a secret having a night away secretly and still continuing after being told it's upsetting them . Is it cheating?"
Do you think it is OP ?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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So basically a person in a vanilla relationship is having an affair in the affair relationship they are swinging...
That sounds like cheating squared to me.
What do you think OP? |
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By *etLikeMan
over a year ago
most fundamental aspects |
Even in most poly/open relationships this would be regarded unquestionably as cheating. Sometimes there are “don’t ask, don’t tell” agreements but these are negotiated and the partners still are aware this goes on or have agreed in advance for this to go on.
Ask yourself, would my partner be upset or angry if they found out? If the answer is yes, it’s definitely cheating.
One of the beauties of open relationships or swinging, is open communication. It’s liberating and can make couples stronger. What you’re doing is cherry picking the bits you want from the lifestyle. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Sorry was a bit long winded trying to explain whole situation,to be honest confused myself .More briefly Male partner whom I live with has got another swinging partner trouble is they've only played with each other ..not what I agreed to and have met up secretly.Messaging each other etc. I've asked them to stop ,it's upsetting me .but they have continued because he insists it's not cheating. |
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"is it classed as cheating when a partner that played once with partner at home finds a new playing partner because th'ey're partner at home won't play anymore. The new playing partner was kept a secret .They only play together. Stayed night together.and was Kept a secret. The playing partner came to house secretly for a cuppa The other partner has told them both please stop it's upsetting me. They've continued."
Is the verification new or old playing partner ? |
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"Sorry was a bit long winded trying to explain whole situation,to be honest confused myself .More briefly Male partner whom I live with has got another swinging partner trouble is they've only played with each other ..not what I agreed to and have met up secretly.Messaging each other etc. I've asked them to stop ,it's upsetting me .but they have continued because he insists it's not cheating."
. They're having an affair. They're meeting and messaging each other in secret and only sleep with each other. You deserve better. The deceit and lies would be the end for me. He's hurting you and he knows it but doesn't care about your feeling. That's not swinging neither is it a loving partner.
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By *oxesMan
over a year ago
Southend, Essex |
"is it classed as cheating when a partner that played once with partner at home finds a new playing partner because th'ey're partner at home won't play anymore. The new playing partner was kept a secret .They only play together. Stayed night together.and was Kept a secret. The playing partner came to house secretly for a cuppa The other partner has told them both please stop it's upsetting me. They've continued."
Well when think about it and examine the evidence
Accounting all facts
what i mean is if we look
At what you said
And therefore deduce the meaning of what you wrote
If we look at what you meant
Oh sod it i can't remember what i was going to write. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"is it classed as cheating when a partner that played once with partner at home finds a new playing partner because th'ey're partner at home won't play anymore. The new playing partner was kept a secret .They only play together. Stayed night together.and was Kept a secret. The playing partner came to house secretly for a cuppa The other partner has told them both please stop it's upsetting me. They've continued.
Well when think about it and examine the evidence
Accounting all facts
what i mean is if we look
At what you said
And therefore deduce the meaning of what you wrote
If we look at what you meant
Oh sod it i can't remember what i was going to write."
he and his other FB are cheating on the original FB I think maybe |
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