FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > How to end it politely?
How to end it politely?
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Ok - messaged back and forth. Agreed to a meet. Social at the bar first but the room is booked.
Gulp - not what you expected but not too bad.... Go up to the room, get naked, but the feeling is just not there.
How do you escape because it is closely becoming a Very awkward situation....?
Any advice appreciated. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm so so sorry but I just can't do this. Sorry.
Then leave. No need to explain why not. It could be for a myriad of reasons. So don't get drawn into trying to explain yourself. If asked just repeat that you're really sorry but you're going to head off. That's what I'd do I think. But I've never done it. So maybe it's easier said than done? |
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...make it clear that it’s a social only then if you decide to play and the other person wants to, it’s a bonus.
I think you based your decision to play because you are polite and didn’t want to disappoint because there was a room ready. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Anybody should be able to say no at any point.
You can say "I'm really sorry, but..." and tell them the same as you have said here. It doesn't have to be abrupt or rude.
If they have an ounce of empathy about them they will realise that you're not feeling it anyway. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok - messaged back and forth. Agreed to a meet. Social at the bar first but the room is booked.
Gulp - not what you expected but not too bad.... Go up to the room, get naked, but the feeling is just not there.
How do you escape because it is closely becoming a Very awkward situation....?
Any advice appreciated. "
Are you in the hotel room now? |
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"Ok - messaged back and forth. Agreed to a meet. Social at the bar first but the room is booked.
Gulp - not what you expected but not too bad.... Go up to the room, get naked, but the feeling is just not there.
How do you escape because it is closely becoming a Very awkward situation....?
Any advice appreciated. "
Make it plain beforehand that you both agree if the spark/ attraction is not there when you meet it won't go any further. Simply smile and say sorry 'it's not working for me'. The other should take that as a sign and accept it without question. (He/ she may even be relieved) *mrs |
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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago
West Wales |
"Meet for a social & the room is already booked".
Unless you previously agreed "Let's see what happens" it'd be a "See Ya, you self assured cocky b'stard". 
Either way the option to stay is just that, an option..
S |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm so so sorry but I just can't do this. Sorry.
Then leave. No need to explain why not. It could be for a myriad of reasons. So don't get drawn into trying to explain yourself. If asked just repeat that you're really sorry but you're going to head off. That's what I'd do I think. But I've never done it. So maybe it's easier said than done? "
I'd do this. But I'd assess the situation carefully in case he got mad. |
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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago
yumsville |
""Meet for a social & the room is already booked".
Unless you previously agreed "Let's see what happens" it'd be a "See Ya, you self assured cocky b'stard".
Either way the option to stay is just that, an option..
S"
Unless I read it wrong she was in the room naked already, so was long past having a social. It sounds like she's gotten up there got naked but isn't feeling it.. in which case you'd say so, divi up and leave. |
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"Ok - messaged back and forth. Agreed to a meet. Social at the bar first but the room is booked.
Gulp - not what you expected but not too bad.... Go up to the room, get naked, but the feeling is just not there.
How do you escape because it is closely becoming a Very awkward situation....?
Any advice appreciated. "
its a case of really sorry just not feeling it so its no from me and im going now..and no its really not me its deffo you. |
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thanks for all the feedback guys.
I was never in any danger and was able to leave without incident.
I guess I turned it from a social to a meet because I was hopeful. But it didn't turn out...
Anything very specific that you would say or have said.... he did nothing working, but I felt I just needed to go... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why would you go up to a room with someone that isn't what you expected ?  "
I was thinking this. Took them to be naked to realise you weren't interested. Usually by that time a brick wall couldn't stop me |
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"thanks for all the feedback guys.
I was never in any danger and was able to leave without incident.
I guess I turned it from a social to a meet because I was hopeful. But it didn't turn out...
Anything very specific that you would say or have said.... he did nothing working, but I felt I just needed to go..."
Glad you are safe honey ???? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why would you go up to a room with someone that isn't what you expected ?
Absolutely. I don't understand why anyone would do that. "
Well there is that yes. Weird |
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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
This is one reason why I have a social and if it goes well arrange something for another time. No expectations then.
I'm glad it was ok for you OP, there's always the risk that the guy might get wierd I guess.
If I were to find myself in that situation is just be honest and say something like 'I'm really sorry but I'm not really feeling this'. |
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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago
yumsville |
What I found most odd about this OP was how you were able to post the thread, naked in the room, while not feeling it instead of telling the bloke directly. If you're not liking something why prolong the situation you are in. |
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My advice to a woman is... if you stand up to go upstairs with someone your barstool should already be wet. Do hope he will turn you on upside.... there has to be fizz after you have talked for 30 seconds. |
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"Ok - messaged back and forth. Agreed to a meet. Social at the bar first but the room is booked.
Gulp - not what you expected but not too bad.... Go up to the room, get naked, but the feeling is just not there.
How do you escape because it is closely becoming a Very awkward situation....?
Any advice appreciated. "
if you aren't feeling it before you get to the room, don't go to the room. Its much easier to politely say no then. |
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"To those who asked.... I did not post from the hotel room. It is currently a few weeks after.
But surely others have found themselves in a place of high hopes and it goes wrong...."
anyone has the right to call a halt to a meet at any time. If it happens that you feel you need to its best to just say as tactfully as possible that you no longer want to continue or even feign illness. Its probably best not to go to a hotel room if you have doubts though. |
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To be fair I've chatted with a couple of guys on a social and all been going well but then I've kissed them and the chemistry has been zero.
It's a tricky one to back out of but now I'm just upfront and say sorry I'm not feeling it.
I don't drink on meets either as that can easily cloud judgement
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"Ok - messaged back and forth. Agreed to a meet. Social at the bar first but the room is booked.
Gulp - not what you expected but not too bad.... Go up to the room, get naked, but the feeling is just not there.
How do you escape because it is closely becoming a Very awkward situation....?
Any advice appreciated. "
Did you take a bin liner ? |
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"...make it clear that it’s a social only then if you decide to play and the other person wants to, it’s a bonus.
I think you based your decision to play because you are polite and didn’t want to disappoint because there was a room ready. "
Errrrrrr hello they’re already naked !!!!!!
What do you mean make it clear it’s a social .............!!!!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sounds like you both realised it was a mistake, the passion died and it needed to end. Awkward feelings and such, but no one unduly upset or hurt. Swingers and roundabouts. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Rub your fingers behind your ears and then keep waving your hand in his face.... if that doesn’t work try your ass next....
The smell will definitely turn him off and end the meet
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Rub your fingers behind your ears and then keep waving your hand in his face.... if that doesn’t work try your ass next....
The smell will definitely turn him off and end the meet
"
Behind your ears? |
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"Don't have a social with room booked? Do that on separate meets."
I agree - best to keep the first social just that; hotel room maybe on the second or third one!!
Hope you sorted the situation IP! |
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"Ok - messaged back and forth. Agreed to a meet. Social at the bar first but the room is booked.
Gulp - not what you expected but not too bad.... Go up to the room, get naked, but the feeling is just not there.
How do you escape because it is closely becoming a Very awkward situation....?
Any advice appreciated. "
Why leave a public place to go into a room with someone you don't find sexually attractive?
Be honest and say the chemistry isn't there: don't go to the room! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't understand why everyone is asking why she went up to his room if she wasn't going to fuck him. She's obviously said at the point they took their clothes off.. she wasn't feeling him. She can change her mind at any point. That's how consent works. It's pretty rubbish for the other party but hey ho.
OP in that situation I'd apologise and if you can maybe offer to split the hotel bill but as it was a business trip and he was already there I'd just apologise and leave. Glad he was decent about it though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok - messaged back and forth. Agreed to a meet. Social at the bar first but the room is booked.
Gulp - not what you expected but not too bad.... Go up to the room, get naked, but the feeling is just not there.
How do you escape because it is closely becoming a Very awkward situation....?
Any advice appreciated. "
You have every right to changed your mind at any time. No means No.
However, did you really need to wait until you are in the room and naked to think "You are not for me"? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Say you've left something in the car and bugger off. Its more polite to say you are going to leave but if you can't do that do the other thing.."
What you suggest is very cowardly. She just has to say sorry but I am not feeling this. I am going to leave. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To those who asked.... I did not post from the hotel room. It is currently a few weeks after.
But surely others have found themselves in a place of high hopes and it goes wrong...."
Yes I had it happen to me once. I was talking to a woman online for a few months. We swapped pictures. Up to date pictures lol not pictures from 10 years ago. We also web cammed one night. She was from down south. After a few months, we agreed to meet. Being the gentleman I am lol we agreed to meet at a hotel very near her. I drove for 4 hours.
When she met me outside the hotel she simply said "Sorry but I don't fancy you". I was thinking you have seen my pictures and saw me on web cam and you only now realise you don't fancy me? I just wished her happy swinging and got in my car and drove home. By the time I got home I was blocked.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To those who asked.... I did not post from the hotel room. It is currently a few weeks after.
But surely others have found themselves in a place of high hopes and it goes wrong...."
Well yes, but I sure as hell wouldn't be going to a hotel room with them much less getting naked! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok - messaged back and forth. Agreed to a meet. Social at the bar first but the room is booked.
Gulp - not what you expected but not too bad.... Go up to the room, get naked, but the feeling is just not there.
How do you escape because it is closely becoming a Very awkward situation....?
Any advice appreciated. "
bit late when you've stripped off but just say sorry ' no ' and dress and go....... God awkward or what I certainly would be pretty gutted if it got to that point |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't understand why everyone is asking why she went up to his room if she wasn't going to fuck him. She's obviously said at the point they took their clothes off.. she wasn't feeling him. She can change her mind at any point. That's how consent works. It's pretty rubbish for the other party but hey ho.
OP in that situation I'd apologise and if you can maybe offer to split the hotel bill but as it was a business trip and he was already there I'd just apologise and leave. Glad he was decent about it though. "
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To those who asked.... I did not post from the hotel room. It is currently a few weeks after.
But surely others have found themselves in a place of high hopes and it goes wrong....
Yes I had it happen to me once. I was talking to a woman online for a few months. We swapped pictures. Up to date pictures lol not pictures from 10 years ago. We also web cammed one night. She was from down south. After a few months, we agreed to meet. Being the gentleman I am lol we agreed to meet at a hotel very near her. I drove for 4 hours.
When she met me outside the hotel she simply said "Sorry but I don't fancy you". I was thinking you have seen my pictures and saw me on web cam and you only now realise you don't fancy me? I just wished her happy swinging and got in my car and drove home. By the time I got home I was blocked.
"
awwww not good for the ego but as you get older everything goes East for the winter  |
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"To those who asked.... I did not post from the hotel room. It is currently a few weeks after.
But surely others have found themselves in a place of high hopes and it goes wrong....
Yes I had it happen to me once. I was talking to a woman online for a few months. We swapped pictures. Up to date pictures lol not pictures from 10 years ago. We also web cammed one night. She was from down south. After a few months, we agreed to meet. Being the gentleman I am lol we agreed to meet at a hotel very near her. I drove for 4 hours.
When she met me outside the hotel she simply said "Sorry but I don't fancy you". I was thinking you have seen my pictures and saw me on web cam and you only now realise you don't fancy me? I just wished her happy swinging and got in my car and drove home. By the time I got home I was blocked.
"
Not sure how one can see ‘chemistry’ from a photograph and make up one’s mind to have sex with you from seeing your photograph. Seems a very ‘blokey’ attitude also the 4 hour drive is irrelevant! Would you expect her to have sex because you have driven that distance?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To those who asked.... I did not post from the hotel room. It is currently a few weeks after.
But surely others have found themselves in a place of high hopes and it goes wrong....
Yes I had it happen to me once. I was talking to a woman online for a few months. We swapped pictures. Up to date pictures lol not pictures from 10 years ago. We also web cammed one night. She was from down south. After a few months, we agreed to meet. Being the gentleman I am lol we agreed to meet at a hotel very near her. I drove for 4 hours.
When she met me outside the hotel she simply said "Sorry but I don't fancy you". I was thinking you have seen my pictures and saw me on web cam and you only now realise you don't fancy me? I just wished her happy swinging and got in my car and drove home. By the time I got home I was blocked.
Not sure how one can see ‘chemistry’ from a photograph and make up one’s mind to have sex with you from seeing your photograph. Seems a very ‘blokey’ attitude also the 4 hour drive is irrelevant! Would you expect her to have sex because you have driven that distance? "
If he's the ' entitled ' type the answer would be yes but he got in his car and drove home, disappointed chin on dashboard, crying, forlorn etc |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Always carry some laxatives with you in case that situation arises.
Take two and start to shit your pants, he'll be the one leaving and you'll be avoid an awkward situation love
Ps: don't use that technique if he is into hardsport. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok - messaged back and forth. Agreed to a meet. Social at the bar first but the room is booked.
Gulp - not what you expected but not too bad.... Go up to the room, get naked, but the feeling is just not there.
How do you escape because it is closely becoming a Very awkward situation....?
I’ve been in this situation before. I went through with it. It wasn’t the worst thing to happen but it wasn’t the best.
I’d never do it again, so live and learn.
Several here have said they wouldn’t get into that situation, Id have said that if you asked me before it happened.
Any advice appreciated. "
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"Always carry some laxatives with you in case that situation arises.
Take two and start to shit your pants, he'll be the one leaving and you'll be avoid an awkward situation love
Ps: don't use that technique if he is into hardsport. "
#youremykindofguy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My advice to a woman is... if you stand up to go upstairs with someone your barstool should already be wet. Do hope he will turn you on upside.... there has to be fizz after you have talked for 30 seconds. "
Great advice and best verification photo I've ever seen
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just say you're not feeling it.
Met a guy last august who booked and paid for the room. Gave me the screen shot of the booking as I arrived first and checked in. He arrived, was barely taller than me (profile said 5'10) was a bit too feminine, let him tickle my back to try and get me in the mood, he had pants on I briefly touched his willy which was very small (this was when I still loved big dicks) Before meeting I had asked to see pictures of it, he sent pictures with him holding the base, I said I can't see it properly exactly how big is it, he said he's never had any complaints. I said I'm really particular about penis size, skip back to being in the room, I'd felt double let down on the height and on the penis, messaged my friend who I'd shagged 3 years previous and he said get rid of him and he'll leave work. Told the guy that I didn't want to do anything and he left in a mood.
I wouldn't have been that brutal if I didn't think I'd be able to take him in a fight. |
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I don't get the thread at all, swinging, being naked etc, yes a no is awkward, but no different from vanilla life, no is no, before and during.
Long as your not a bitch/bastard about it then you should have a clear conscience |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok - messaged back and forth. Agreed to a meet. Social at the bar first but the room is booked.
Gulp - not what you expected but not too bad.... Go up to the room, get naked, but the feeling is just not there.
How do you escape because it is closely becoming a Very awkward situation....?
Any advice appreciated. "
say sorry you just look gross naked and I forgot to feed fish I have to go bye x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To those who asked.... I did not post from the hotel room. It is currently a few weeks after.
But surely others have found themselves in a place of high hopes and it goes wrong....
Yes I had it happen to me once. I was talking to a woman online for a few months. We swapped pictures. Up to date pictures lol not pictures from 10 years ago. We also web cammed one night. She was from down south. After a few months, we agreed to meet. Being the gentleman I am lol we agreed to meet at a hotel very near her. I drove for 4 hours.
When she met me outside the hotel she simply said "Sorry but I don't fancy you". I was thinking you have seen my pictures and saw me on web cam and you only now realise you don't fancy me? I just wished her happy swinging and got in my car and drove home. By the time I got home I was blocked.
Not sure how one can see ‘chemistry’ from a photograph and make up one’s mind to have sex with you from seeing your photograph. Seems a very ‘blokey’ attitude also the 4 hour drive is irrelevant! Would you expect her to have sex because you have driven that distance? "
She also saw me on web cam a few times. We chatted for hours on web cam. I didn't expect her to have sex with me because I drove for 4 hours. I know she has the right to change her mind at any time. I didn't get angry with her or upset or begging her or asking her why. I simply wished her happy swinging and left.
At the end of the day she had seen me a few times on web came. I look no different on a live web cam than I do in real life. |
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"To those who asked.... I did not post from the hotel room. It is currently a few weeks after.
But surely others have found themselves in a place of high hopes and it goes wrong....
Yes I had it happen to me once. I was talking to a woman online for a few months. We swapped pictures. Up to date pictures lol not pictures from 10 years ago. We also web cammed one night. She was from down south. After a few months, we agreed to meet. Being the gentleman I am lol we agreed to meet at a hotel very near her. I drove for 4 hours.
When she met me outside the hotel she simply said "Sorry but I don't fancy you". I was thinking you have seen my pictures and saw me on web cam and you only now realise you don't fancy me? I just wished her happy swinging and got in my car and drove home. By the time I got home I was blocked.
Not sure how one can see ‘chemistry’ from a photograph and make up one’s mind to have sex with you from seeing your photograph. Seems a very ‘blokey’ attitude also the 4 hour drive is irrelevant! Would you expect her to have sex because you have driven that distance?
She also saw me on web cam a few times. We chatted for hours on web cam. I didn't expect her to have sex with me because I drove for 4 hours. I know she has the right to change her mind at any time. I didn't get angry with her or upset or begging her or asking her why. I simply wished her happy swinging and left.
At the end of the day she had seen me a few times on web came. I look no different on a live web cam than I do in real life. "
There is no ‘chemistry’ on virtual format. It’s not real life..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok - messaged back and forth. Agreed to a meet. Social at the bar first but the room is booked.
Gulp - not what you expected but not too bad.... Go up to the room, get naked, but the feeling is just not there.
How do you escape because it is closely becoming a Very awkward situation....?
Any advice appreciated. "
Sorry im
Not feeling it, im gonna go
Unless you booked the room,thenthe same apart from you need to leave |
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