FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Couples meeting couples

Couples meeting couples

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

We've been on and off here over 2 years and still havent got past a social meet yet.

We've tried a variety of approaches along the way as we're fairly open to others idea's. Chatted on here/kik, met early on, met after a lot of chat, chatted on the phone, fem and fem met first, done coffee, drinks, tried a social, gone to a party at a club, met at soft play, the list goes on.

We always send face pics early in the conversation, we both chat on here amd make it clear on messages who is chatting.

We dont have sitters for the kids so travelling miles to a club isnt something we have the luxury o_ and being in the arse end of nowhere we appreciate thats not very helpful. We do however have an older child who babysits for her siblings for the evening. We can't accommodate as we have the kids at home.

So spill the beans so we can work out where we're going wrong, and change our approach. What works for you?!

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

We meet socially and if we all agree set a date to meet sexually.

Meeting couples where there's two way attraction can be difficult. The guys need to find the women attractive and vice versa, it only needs one out of the four to say no and its all off.

Are the people you meet not keen to take it further or vice versa?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"We meet socially and if we all agree set a date to meet sexually.

Meeting couples where there's two way attraction can be difficult. The guys need to find the women attractive and vice versa, it only needs one out of the four to say no and its all off.

Are the people you meet not keen to take it further or vice versa?"

It certainly can be difficult. We find lots of couples expect a girl on girl floor show also so there has to be attraction there also.

I think its been a mixed bag, we're not big drinkers it seems for some getting smashed is essential, others we've felt one part of the couple is pushing the other into it, just haven't met anyone we've really clicked with. With some couples we have had more than one social.

I guess its just a case of keep trying.

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By *abulously curiousCouple over a year ago

manchester

"We've been on and off here over 2 years and still havent got past a social meet yet.

We always send face pics early in the conversation, we both chat on here amd make it clear on messages who is chatting.

So spill the beans so we can work out where we're going wrong, and change our approach. What works for you?! "
we are the same. Most people want to play there and then.. we have to plan...

Spose we just have to hope we meet couples in similar situations xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We are a couple and have had a few meetings with couples and they have been a hit or miss experience. We think that either the lady is uncomfortable when she sees how her partner reacts and doesn’t really get how this works. We think everyone should be open and honest about what everyone wants and also they have to understand what this is all about and not feel threatened and know it’s just fun xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I guess we’ve been lucky as the first social we had we all hit it off and since then we meet regularly.

It sounds like you’re the ones not keen but I’ve no idea how to get round that one.

I’d definitely be up for meeting up having seen your photos

MrsH

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We've realised over time that trying to find other compatible couples can be a nightmare.

Obviously everyone has to get on,then Red has to fancy the guy while I have to fancy the lady. Then similarly they have to fancy us. Add to the if the lady is bi, she has to be Reds type and the odds are stacked against us.

We still have faith though as we have met some wonderful people on here.

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By *randmrsminxyCouple over a year ago

Gloucester

Wow We thought we were alone on this. Yes had a few meets and it's true that sometimes you can sence that one half is not happy. Also we like to make a effort when we meet on a social , and meeting a couple who feel that the just got home from work and can't be arrsed look is ok can be a real turn off.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think personally, too much planning is killing a part of swinging..we love the unexpectedness of the life style.. we do not meet socially first because of time commitments, so what free swinging time we have we would just rather get on with it..I think nowadays there are many obstacles getting in the way for a lot of people. Most want a social first or club meet..I know there has to be an attraction, but we are not looking for life partners or best buddies ..It's just a bit of fun and sex, and I think a lot of folk have to many expectations..

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By * and M lookingCouple over a year ago

Worcester

There is also the dynamic of how you like to play to throw into the mix.

In our case, Mr M doesn't play with anyone but Mrs M.

It's a minefield, lol

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"We meet socially and if we all agree set a date to meet sexually.

Meeting couples where there's two way attraction can be difficult. The guys need to find the women attractive and vice versa, it only needs one out of the four to say no and its all off.

Are the people you meet not keen to take it further or vice versa?

It certainly can be difficult. We find lots of couples expect a girl on girl floor show also so there has to be attraction there also.

I guess its just a case of keep trying.

We're both straight which limits us further because we've found that many couples with a bi lady will say that she will play straight but when it comes to it expect me to "give it a go". Add to this our other preferences and we're virtually un meetable

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By *uckandbunnyCouple over a year ago

In your bed

"I think personally, too much planning is killing a part of swinging..we love the unexpectedness of the life style.. we do not meet socially first because of time commitments, so what free swinging time we have we would just rather get on with it..I think nowadays there are many obstacles getting in the way for a lot of people. Most want a social first or club meet..I know there has to be an attraction, but we are not looking for life partners or best buddies ..It's just a bit of fun and sex, and I think a lot of folk have to many expectations.."

We are very much the same. We have had all our meets in clubs, most of the time we have no idea who will be there. We don't have time for a social then a meet as it could be 6 months or longer between availability and you can never be certain the other couple can match your availability due to their own life commitments.

If we go and no one takes our fancy or we don't appeal to anyone, then the benefit of being a couple is we can still fuck each other and scream the house down without worrying about neighbours or kids.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

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By *uckandbunnyCouple over a year ago

In your bed

"We meet socially and if we all agree set a date to meet sexually.

Meeting couples where there's two way attraction can be difficult. The guys need to find the women attractive and vice versa, it only needs one out of the four to say no and its all off.

Are the people you meet not keen to take it further or vice versa?

It certainly can be difficult. We find lots of couples expect a girl on girl floor show also so there has to be attraction there also.

I guess its just a case of keep trying.

I never get that. Would a straight man just give being bi a go?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"There is also the dynamic of how you like to play to throw into the mix.

In our case, Mr M doesn't play with anyone but Mrs M.

It's a minefield, lol"

That's how we work now ..our swinging has changed over the years..it's more a case of me Mr watching and maybe not taking part.. we seem to get moor enjoyment of that situation now..we are finding a lot of the older more experienced swinger couples are meeting this way too

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"We meet socially and if we all agree set a date to meet sexually.

Meeting couples where there's two way attraction can be difficult. The guys need to find the women attractive and vice versa, it only needs one out of the four to say no and its all off.

Are the people you meet not keen to take it further or vice versa?

It certainly can be difficult. We find lots of couples expect a girl on girl floor show also so there has to be attraction there also.

I guess its just a case of keep trying.

I never get that. Would a straight man just give being bi a go?

I have a theory lol.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

2 years and you’ve not got past a social, the chances are you like the idea of swinging but are just not going to actually swing, you are not alone lots of people like the idea but never do it, ask yourself after all this time of not playing are you just making excuses up, if you were really motivated, because if were you’d have made the time

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"We've been on and off here over 2 years and still havent got past a social meet yet.

We always send face pics early in the conversation, we both chat on here amd make it clear on messages who is chatting.

So spill the beans so we can work out where we're going wrong, and change our approach. What works for you?! we are the same. Most people want to play there and then.. we have to plan...

Spose we just have to hope we meet couples in similar situations xx"

We gets lots of are you free now messages, as I said we don't have anyone to sit the kids and if our eldest has arranged something with her friends we can't leave the others.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"We are a couple and have had a few meetings with couples and they have been a hit or miss experience. We think that either the lady is uncomfortable when she sees how her partner reacts and doesn’t really get how this works. We think everyone should be open and honest about what everyone wants and also they have to understand what this is all about and not feel threatened and know it’s just fun xx"

We've met half a dozen couples, of them one was most certainly coerced by violence, another impassive, another followed me to the toilets at her partner's request but never spoke to me, it quickly becomes anything but fun when one of the group is unhappy.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I guess we’ve been lucky as the first social we had we all hit it off and since then we meet regularly.

It sounds like you’re the ones not keen but I’ve no idea how to get round that one.

I’d definitely be up for meeting up having seen your photos

MrsH "

We've had socials that have been good, but aligning time to meet others when we have work/family/commitments and as do they can be difficult. It makes it especially difficult as we can never accommodate due to having noone to have the kids.

Not all socials have been great though when someone comes across as coerced by force or at someones day so it quickly becomes a situation you don't want to touch.

Thank you

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"2 years and you’ve not got past a social, the chances are you like the idea of swinging but are just not going to actually swing, you are not alone lots of people like the idea but never do it, ask yourself after all this time of not playing are you just making excuses up, if you were really motivated, because if were you’d have made the time"

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"We've realised over time that trying to find other compatible couples can be a nightmare.

We still have faith though as we have met some wonderful people on here. "

The odds are stacked up for us also, pretty limited for choice too living on the coast as there's not that many people in a 20 mile radius due to a large portion of that being the sea - I don't think mermaids have fab yet

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

We too have little free time, we're happy to skip the socials, they're a waste of time anyway in our experience. However we follow whatever the other couple requests.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"There is also the dynamic of how you like to play to throw into the mix.

In our case, Mr M doesn't play with anyone but Mrs M.

It's a minefield, lol"

Its a minefield alright

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"We meet socially and if we all agree set a date to meet sexually.

Meeting couples where there's two way attraction can be difficult. The guys need to find the women attractive and vice versa, it only needs one out of the four to say no and its all off.

Are the people you meet not keen to take it further or vice versa?

It certainly can be difficult. We find lots of couples expect a girl on girl floor show also so there has to be attraction there also.

I guess its just a case of keep trying.

So theyve no intention of her playing straight, just expect you to change your mind!

I'm beginning to think were unmeetable too lol

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By *issmorganWoman over a year ago

Calderdale innit

We have a couple profile but rarely meet as a couple now.

Due to all of above factors,plus so many profiles have no pics of the male ,so they are ruled out straight away .

I'm straight and so many of our updates seek bi fems couples or women to join them only.

If we want to meet together,we go to a club or a social event ,we can see people ftf and chat to see if there's a spark etc.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

We've met several singles that have gone further than a social, male and female.

We've met half a dozen couples socially but we wont partake in anything where it feels someone is coerced and unwilling, if it feels like someone is doing something against their will it isn't fun, especially when it is clear there is threat/violence. We've felt of the 6 couples 3 were coerced, 1 definitely by violence.

Of the other 3, 2 guys just didnt appeal to me and the last couple we just never found time to meet again, their life was hectic as was ours at the time.

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

"We meet socially and if we all agree set a date to meet sexually.

Meeting couples where there's two way attraction can be difficult. The guys need to find the women attractive and vice versa, it only needs one out of the four to say no and its all off.

Are the people you meet not keen to take it further or vice versa?

It certainly can be difficult. We find lots of couples expect a girl on girl floor show also so there has to be attraction there also.

I guess its just a case of keep trying.

So theyve no intention of her playing straight, just expect you to change your mind!

I'm beginning to think were unmeetable too lol "

That has been our experience. Some of the "ladies" became quite insistent. On a couple of occasions it became clear that the guy wasn't interested in me at all.

I want to make it clear that this is our experience only, not all bi women are like it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"We have a couple profile but rarely meet as a couple now.

Due to all of above factors,plus so many profiles have no pics of the male ,so they are ruled out straight away .

I'm straight and so many of our updates seek bi fems couples or women to join them only.

If we want to meet together,we go to a club or a social event ,we can see people ftf and chat to see if there's a spark etc. "

Again there is many profiles that lack pics of the mala, which is fine if he isnt playing but if he is it'd be nice to know what he looks like. We tend to swerve those profiles too.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"We meet socially and if we all agree set a date to meet sexually.

Meeting couples where there's two way attraction can be difficult. The guys need to find the women attractive and vice versa, it only needs one out of the four to say no and its all off.

Are the people you meet not keen to take it further or vice versa?

It certainly can be difficult. We find lots of couples expect a girl on girl floor show also so there has to be attraction there also.

I guess its just a case of keep trying.

So theyve no intention of her playing straight, just expect you to change your mind!

I'm beginning to think were unmeetable too lol

That has been our experience. Some of the "ladies" became quite insistent. On a couple of occasions it became clear that the guy wasn't interested in me at all.

I want to make it clear that this is our experience only, not all bi women are like it."

That makes for an awkward meet! Theres plenty of couples with no women they could choose from rather than try their luck and make things awkward.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We too have little free time, we're happy to skip the socials, they're a waste of time anyway in our experience. However we follow whatever the other couple requests. "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We too have little free time, we're happy to skip the socials, they're a waste of time anyway in our experience. However we follow whatever the other couple requests.

100% agree, social only meets are a waste of time and we can think of far better things to do with our play time xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We have a couple profile but rarely meet as a couple now.

Due to all of above factors,plus so many profiles have no pics of the male ,so they are ruled out straight away .

I'm straight and so many of our updates seek bi fems couples or women to join them only.

If we want to meet together,we go to a club or a social event ,we can see people ftf and chat to see if there's a spark etc.

Again there is many profiles that lack pics of the mala, which is fine if he isnt playing but if he is it'd be nice to know what he looks like. We tend to swerve those profiles too. "

Isn’t there only 2 or 3 kinda arty shots with the guy in them on your profile? Maybe others are thinking the exact same about your profile

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"We have a couple profile but rarely meet as a couple now.

Due to all of above factors,plus so many profiles have no pics of the male ,so they are ruled out straight away .

I'm straight and so many of our updates seek bi fems couples or women to join them only.

If we want to meet together,we go to a club or a social event ,we can see people ftf and chat to see if there's a spark etc.

Again there is many profiles that lack pics of the mala, which is fine if he isnt playing but if he is it'd be nice to know what he looks like. We tend to swerve those profiles too.

Isn’t there only 2 or 3 kinda arty shots with the guy in them on your profile? Maybe others are thinking the exact same about your profile

Of the 13 photos we display he's very much in 5 of them, and his cock features in a further 2. We've tried to keep it to a fairly even mixture of the both of us.

All our photos were public at one point, it made no difference.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We find it extremely difficult to! There has to be a good 4 way dynamic and that’s difficult to find. Also alot of couples are really just after a unicorn and see a couple as the next best thing. In our case they are dissapointed because Katie is straight and there is zero girl play on a meet. We’ve met some great couples at private parties and at the end of the day we have each other to play with so we dont mind waiting for a meet

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"We find it extremely difficult to! There has to be a good 4 way dynamic and that’s difficult to find. Also alot of couples are really just after a unicorn and see a couple as the next best thing. In our case they are dissapointed because Katie is straight and there is zero girl play on a meet. We’ve met some great couples at private parties and at the end of the day we have each other to play with so we dont mind waiting for a meet

Yes we would agree, it is difficult to find 4 way dynamics that work, and I think couples are a compromise as there's so few unicorns.

We're much the same sex is good between us, just wondered how people manage to make meets outside of clubs work or if they do really more than anything

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We too have little free time, we're happy to skip the socials, they're a waste of time anyway in our experience. However we follow whatever the other couple requests.

100% agree, social only meets are a waste of time and we can think of far better things to do with our play time xx"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It is difficult, even more so when both are bi and the average couple don't want to meet anyone with bi guys.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"It is difficult, even more so when both are bi and the average couple don't want to meet anyone with bi guys. "

I can imagine, you often see it in profiles that people wont meet bi men

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We’ve always gone along to meets with ithis attitude, if we all get along, all think we can have fun then why not give it a go and see how the play goes, if it’s great, all good, we will play with them again. If it doesn’t work, we move on, after all it’s just sexy fun, nothing more and nothing to get precious about

Seeing couples as a compromise over single ladies makes things harder as at times you’ll see the Male half of a couple as just an inconvenience which is really wrong xxx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yes we find it a nightmare also so your not alone keep trying I guess

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"We’ve always gone along to meets with ithis attitude, if we all get along, all think we can have fun then why not give it a go and see how the play goes, if it’s great, all good, we will play with them again. If it doesn’t work, we move on, after all it’s just sexy fun, nothing more and nothing to get precious about

Seeing couples as a compromise over single ladies makes things harder as at times you’ll see the Male half of a couple as just an inconvenience which is really wrong xxx"

If you read my post in context and didnt keep trying to find issue with me which when I address you ignore and move on to another we could both save some time.

I didnt say we thought of couples as a compromise, I agreed with another poster than many couples are seeking unicorns and only opt for couples as a means to get to women hence compromising. We've had many couples contact us and it quickly becomes apparent my husband is an inconvenience, we choose not to meet them.

As I also previously said weve met single women and men and had threesomes. Its finding a couple where we all click we are struggling with as I also said in my previous posts.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 14/07/18 22:25:13]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We are both straight so we get filtered out by the bi-fem couples too. We also find that many straight couples meet single men because it is by far the easiest route to a group situation.

We have a theory that once the straight female of a couple meets single guys, generally younger, fitter and better hung than most couple males, then their expectations for guys in a couple go up making it more difficult still.

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By *ll the gear.....Couple over a year ago

Town north of Notts

We meet couples and singles but have to agree singles is easier by a long way due to the quantity on the site. Our preference is always couples and have met some great couples, had some fab times and met 1 or 2 on numerous occasions.

Unfortunately for us a lot of our meets are last min which doesn’t fit with most couples as they have to arrange in advance. We also love the social side and agree everyone has to have some chemistry but as long as we all get on then we are generally happy as we are very easy going.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We are both straight so we get filtered out by the bi-fem couples too. We also find that many straight couples meet single men because it is by far the easiest route to a group situation.

We meet guys occasionally to but we’ve never encountered the problem of expectations being raised.. we’ve met guys ranging in age from 25 - late 50s we get turned on more by the situation rather than the looks of the person that we’re meeting.

We probably do get filtered out by alot of couples due to our preferences. We’re not complaining though as it saves time and effort on both sides.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We agree it is really hard, especially when you get along and meet a few times and either real life or things just aren't quite right. We have found singles meets easier but at the moment it does seem tone like swimming in treacle.

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By *r MoriartyMan over a year ago

The Land that time forgot (Norfolk)

We struggle too, both being straight really doesn't help.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Yes we find it a nightmare also so your not alone keep trying I guess "

Its starting to feel like hard work

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

We are both straight so we get filtered out by the bi-fem couples too. We also find that many straight couples meet single men because it is by far the easiest route to a group situation.

We're happy to meet straight couples, I'm not overly fussed by exploring my bi side, its how we came to find fab, but its not the be all and end all. We often find were not suitable as I'm not particularly experienced.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"We meet couples and singles but have to agree singles is easier by a long way due to the quantity on the site. Our preference is always couples and have met some great couples, had some fab times and met 1 or 2 on numerous occasions.

Very occasionally we'll attempt last minute but that usually falls flat.

We love the social side and agree there has to be chemistry, we're just struggling with that, we're pretty easy going, always happy to go along with the other parties suggestions

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"We agree it is really hard, especially when you get along and meet a few times and either real life or things just aren't quite right. We have found singles meets easier but at the moment it does seem tone like swimming in treacle. "

Single meets are easier to get theres no denying that. But we're hoping to find meets where we both participate fully I guess.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"We struggle too, both being straight really doesn't help."

It appears every dynamic has its issues.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What a breath of fresh air. We thought it was us our understanding that this site was feeling horny get sorted well that’s what we thought this site was for.

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By *aulnlolaCouple over a year ago

norwich

"Yes we find it a nightmare also so your not alone keep trying I guess

Its starting to feel like hard work "

Don’t be put off - there are a lot of boxes to tick when all 4 people have to be in favour of getting intimate together

There’s quite a turn over of Fab members so a couple who match your blueprint for a swinging partner will be along soon.

I’ve lost count of the number of couples we have been rejected by or who have just lost interest - but we’re still here and enjoying the fun and the search

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Couldn’t agree more on this

no we will not just shag anyone but after a quick chat online if we are happy we go for it our time is precious we aren’t going to waste it drinking coffee

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

we are definitely having no luck this time (last time we were on fab, we must have been really lucky). we had, what we thought, was a lovely social last night at ours...the minute they left we got blocked and deleted (not even a polite no thanku) lol....bit harsh I feel...(& I thought I was a good judge of people)...as someone else just mentioned..its beginning to feel like hard work xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Because I’m straight and hubby is bi we don’t even attempt to try to meet couples anymore it seems our dynamic is quite rare

Bi single guys are always fun though x

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By *greygorCouple over a year ago

birmingham

interesting views on this.we only meet for the sexual thrill .we have found over the years that couples that get to know each other [to many socials and meets together]tend to be the ones that end up splitting with parteners.we go to clubs but not the same one weekly as it is to easy to talk. play with same guys.

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By *lkDomWhtSubBiCpleCouple over a year ago

Somewhere / Everywhere /Kinksville

"We meet socially and if we all agree set a date to meet sexually.

Meeting couples where there's two way attraction can be difficult. The guys need to find the women attractive and vice versa, it only needs one out of the four to say no and its all off.

Are the people you meet not keen to take it further or vice versa?

It certainly can be difficult. We find lots of couples expect a girl on girl floor show also so there has to be attraction there also.

I guess its just a case of keep trying.

So theyve no intention of her playing straight, just expect you to change your mind!

I'm beginning to think were unmeetable too lol

That has been our experience. Some of the "ladies" became quite insistent. On a couple of occasions it became clear that the guy wasn't interested in me at all.

I want to make it clear that this is our experience only, not all bi women are like it."

Indeed we aren’t. I personally wouldn’t be interested in bi play in the slightest by any woman pertaining to be straight. I’m here to have fun, not pester or convert.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We think it’s a bit of a postcode lottery also, if you set your radius’s and travel time and half of that is in the North Sea you’re already at a disadvantage

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Totally agree with this. For me and my partner it's all about the filth. People who are the naughtiest and most fun are not often people you'd really fancy in real life... This is why parties and clubs are best for meeting though as everyone there for the same thing and generally no hang ups. So it becomes a free for all cock n pussy fest.... Mmmm! So much fun!!

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By *ikilovesCCouple over a year ago

village life, closest main town inverness

Great thread sinfully, and very informative posts everyone

It's cheered us up no end realising we're not alone, we were beginning to feel like slackers

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Seeing couples as a compromise over single ladies makes things harder as at times you’ll see the Male half of a couple as just an inconvenience which is really wrong xxx

If you read my post in context and didnt keep trying to find issue with me which when I address you ignore and move on to another we could both save some time.

As I also previously said weve met single women and men and had threesomes. Its finding a couple where we all click we are struggling with as I also said in my previous posts.

The unicorn comment wasn’t aimed specifically at you btw, it’s galling when people treat hubby as an inconvenience this has happened in play on the odd occasion, we’ve just immediately stopped the play, never our intention to find issues with you, just trying to throw up ideas, don’t take it personally, everyone has a individual & unique way of swinging

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Seeing couples as a compromise over single ladies makes things harder as at times you’ll see the Male half of a couple as just an inconvenience which is really wrong xxx

If you read my post in context and didnt keep trying to find issue with me which when I address you ignore and move on to another we could both save some time.

As I also previously said weve met single women and men and had threesomes. Its finding a couple where we all click we are struggling with as I also said in my previous posts.

Glad its not just us who have experienced this! On a meet once hubby was actually pushed off the bed

we laughed and left! The guy in the other couple looked extremely frustrated that he didn’t get his FMF

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Totally agree

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By *irtySekretsCouple over a year ago

Filthy Desires Upon Trent

Interesting Post

We have not long got back into Swinging as a New Couple, having previously Swung with former partners over 10 years ago.

In that 10 years, the whole dynamic of Swinging has noticeably changed.

One of the possible reasons is, that in this day and age of Social Media and reality TV etc, more and more people are looking for perfection.

Between a couple looking for a couple, there are lots of variables. Looks. Body image. Social Group. Age. A willingness for BOTH to want to Swing. The list is endless. We have become spoilt.

Yes there has to be an attraction, and most people are not perfect specimens.

We all have lumps, bumps, and bits we don’t like. But we do think peoples expectations of finding that “Perfect Couple” are unrealistic and can otherwise prevent an absolutely and total horny sexy meet.

After all. That’s what Swinging is.

It’s not like you’re trying to find a life partner. Just someone to share your sexuality with

Just a few thoughts

S&N xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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By * and BCouple over a year ago

Durham

You say you have no sitter, then go on to say your oldest can baby sit. That's one barrier you have put up. You say no floor shows, for us as Mrs F is Bi she likes nothing more to start the play off with just girl girl, this is no means a floor show, that's barrier number 2. So for us we would move on. Its all about all 4 so like others say everyone has to be happy with each others preference/boundaries. Personally we tend to think compromise to the level where we all meet in the middle is where we all need to be, as meeting anyone that will only meet you on your side of the fence ABX and Y and others not moving at all to their side of the fence For CDE and X will find it very difficult in our opinion

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Interesting Post

We have not long got back into Swinging as a New Couple, having previously Swung with former partners over 10 years ago.

In that 10 years, the whole dynamic of Swinging has noticeably changed.

One of the possible reasons is, that in this day and age of Social Media and reality TV etc, more and more people are looking for perfection.

Between a couple looking for a couple, there are lots of variables. Looks. Body image. Social Group. Age. A willingness for BOTH to want to Swing. The list is endless. We have become spoilt.

Yes there has to be an attraction, and most people are not perfect specimens.

After all. That’s what Swinging is.

It’s not like you’re trying to find a life partner. Just someone to share your sexuality with

Just a few thoughts

S&N xxxxxxxxxxxxxx"

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By *mberandlennyCouple over a year ago

prescot

Yep. We are struggling to find a couple we both are attracted to and vice versa.

Must be some compatible couples out there? X

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Our plan is to meet on here, have a chat via KIK and see how we get on, if we plan a meet then it's because we confident that we will click but will plan a social but with the option to take things to the next level if things go well

This has worked well for us to this point, we always swap a few recent face pics at the start so we can tell if there is an attraction there, we wouldn't bother with a KIK chat or planning a meet if people's pics didn't appeal to us, we wouldn't want to lead people on or waster their time

Like the op we have kids and struggle with getting them looked after so like to make the most of our time when we do

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By *ongueNcheek33Couple over a year ago

Manchester

We're having no luck either, we tend to stick to organised socials and clubs now and just hope for the best as finding couples for something a little more regular is almost impossible now for some reason or another x

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By * and BCouple over a year ago

Durham

"We're having no luck either, we tend to stick to organised socials and clubs now and just hope for the best as finding couples for something a little more regular is almost impossible now for some reason or another x"

Our sentiments exactly and what we tend to do now. Fab has more than its fair share of folk who like the idea but just can't commit. Clubs are full of people who commit and into the lifestyle 100%

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Our sentiments exactly and what we tend to do now. Fab has more than its fair share of folk who like the idea but just can't commit. Clubs are full of people who commit and into the lifestyle 100%"

Would disagree with this, clubs have turned into more social meeting places over the last few years and we actually find it harder in clubs too many socialites, non players, people just dipping their toes, weird rules, hang ups and the worst, d*unk fumblers

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By * and M lookingCouple over a year ago

Worcester

Our sentiments exactly and what we tend to do now. Fab has more than its fair share of folk who like the idea but just can't commit. Clubs are full of people who commit and into the lifestyle 100%

Must be the club's in your area then as we now just keep our meets to Chams.

Find it far easier to find people who are on the same page.

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By * and BCouple over a year ago

Durham

Our sentiments exactly and what we tend to do now. Fab has more than its fair share of folk who like the idea but just can't commit. Clubs are full of people who commit and into the lifestyle 100%

Not our experience in clubs, suppose it depends which clubs are chosen. There's a few we wouldn't go back to for the reason you say. We would never play with d*unk people and they should be asked to leave anyway, which we have seen in the clubs we like to frequent. Safety is paramount. The clubs you describe, we call them local clubs for local people lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Many years ago, we went to a party at a house, it was a couples swapping party..and it was the keys in a bowl..yes honestly it was..we picked our set of keys..the couple stood up..now they were not really our body types..she likes a bit of meat on her guys body..chubby fellas..I'm more of a small tits slim girl man..it was the opposite away round..looks wise they were like us just average looking..it turned out to be one of the best swinging meets we have ever had with another couple..we laughed all night and the sex was brilliant..it was very exciting not knowing how the night was going to go..and has our other post mentioned the unexpectedness as gone out of swinging now, there was not really any sites like this or much of a internet back then even though it was only about 21 years ago..people now meet like they are looking for long term friendships and want total matches, which is petty hard to find between couples..lower your expectations a little and take a chance..at the end of the day it's only sex, it's not about love and total attractiveness ..live a little, be a bit daring..it could end up to be the best meet of your life's

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By *ifty grades of shadyCouple over a year ago

Carisbrooke, Isle of Wight

"Many years ago, we went to a party at a house, it was a couples swapping party..and it was the keys in a bowl..yes honestly it was..we picked our set of keys..the couple stood up..now they were not really our body types..she likes a bit of meat on her guys body..chubby fellas..I'm more of a small tits slim girl man..it was the opposite away round..looks wise they were like us just average looking..it turned out to be one of the best swinging meets we have ever had with another couple..we laughed all night and the sex was brilliant..it was very exciting not knowing how the night was going to go..and has our other post mentioned the unexpectedness as gone out of swinging now, there was not really any sites like this or much of a internet back then even though it was only about 21 years ago..people now meet like they are looking for long term friendships and want total matches, which is petty hard to find between couples..lower your expectations a little and take a chance..at the end of the day it's only sex, it's not about love and total attractiveness ..live a little, be a bit daring..it could end up to be the best meet of your life's"

Great story.

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By *ifty grades of shadyCouple over a year ago

Carisbrooke, Isle of Wight

"We think it’s a bit of a postcode lottery also, if you set your radius’s and travel time and half of that is in the North Sea you’re already at a disadvantage

But look at all the fantasists, time wasters and fake profiles you eliminate in the process too

Try being surrounded by sea, in a community where it seems everyone is bound by 2 degrees of separation, staying under the vanilla mafia's radar.

One couple we've chatted to, won't meet at home because of the nosey neighbors...It can be like that here.

Given they live in a small village, can't say I blame them.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We've been on and off here over 2 years and still havent got past a social meet yet.

We always send face pics early in the conversation, we both chat on here amd make it clear on messages who is chatting.

So spill the beans so we can work out where we're going wrong, and change our approach. What works for you?! "

We find it very difficult. Havnt met any couples. Have tried but the ones we talk to either want BB. Separate rooms. Play with me. Dnt do BLACK. So have kind of given up and meet single men

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By *loswingersCouple over a year ago

Gloucester

Absolutely spot on

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Meeting another couple where all four individuals want to have sex we have found very challenging, Usually ends up I find the woman attractive and would have sex with her but not interested in her Male partner from the start so it’s irrelevant if she likes my man or not

Nothings going to happen. I just can’t see the point in having sex if the person isn’t at least as good looking as your own partner, Consequently we now mainly meet younger men

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Absolutely spot on

Agree totally

Just play and see how things go, it’s just fun, it’s not long term relationships

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By *loswingersCouple over a year ago

Gloucester

Absolutely spot on

Agree totally

Just play and see how things go, it’s just fun, it’s not long term relationships"

Way too many swinging couples focus on negatives , like all the cliches such as ‘ can’t find a 4 way attraction ‘ , ‘ not looking for notches ‘ , ‘ just looking for the elusive unicorn ‘ etc..... and rarely swing as a result of it . Pointless really .

Until you’ve actually tried going with the flow , how will you know ?

Swinging should be fun and as you say it’s not about long term relationships .

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Absolutely spot on

Agree totally

Just play and see how things go, it’s just fun, it’s not long term relationships

Until you’ve actually tried going with the flow , how will you know ?

Swinging should be fun and as you say it’s not about long term relationships . "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Absolutely spot on

Agree totally

Just play and see how things go, it’s just fun, it’s not long term relationships

Until you’ve actually tried going with the flow , how will you know ?

Swinging should be fun and as you say it’s not about long term relationships . "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Absolutely spot on

Agree totally

Just play and see how things go, it’s just fun, it’s not long term relationships"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Absolutely spot on

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By *ida8780Couple over a year ago

any town

This

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By *ap d agde coupleCouple over a year ago

Broadstairs

Wonder if it’s an age thing ? Younger couples not so confident in going any further than talking about it

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"What a breath of fresh air. We thought it was us our understanding that this site was feeling horny get sorted well that’s what we thought this site was for."

I guess essentially that is what it should be for, but no amount of horny would make us fuck just anyone

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Yes we find it a nightmare also so your not alone keep trying I guess

Its starting to feel like hard work

Don’t be put off - there are a lot of boxes to tick when all 4 people have to be in favour of getting intimate together

There’s quite a turn over of Fab members so a couple who match your blueprint for a swinging partner will be along soon.

I’ve lost count of the number of couples we have been rejected by or who have just lost interest - but we’re still here and enjoying the fun and the search

Its definitely easier meeting singles, less boxes to tick.

There is quite a turnover, though many dont last too long.

We're quite happy bobbing along on here. Its on the whole a positive experience.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"we are definitely having no luck this time (last time we were on fab, we must have been really lucky). we had, what we thought, was a lovely social last night at ours...the minute they left we got blocked and deleted (not even a polite no thanku) lol....bit harsh I feel...(& I thought I was a good judge of people)...as someone else just mentioned..its beginning to feel like hard work xx

Does sound a little harsh, a thanks but no thanks wouldnt have hurt. I wouldnt take it personally though. Good luck x

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Because I’m straight and hubby is bi we don’t even attempt to try to meet couples anymore it seems our dynamic is quite rare

Bi single guys are always fun though x"

We find singles easier to meet, I don't think any dynamic is easy but have seen several profiles that specify they won't meet bi guys. I'm guessing you then get profiles that don't state it but also won't. Its quite difficult sifting through profiles to find someone that somewhat matches.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"interesting views on this.we only meet for the sexual thrill .we have found over the years that couples that get to know each other [to many socials and meets together]tend to be the ones that end up splitting with parteners.we go to clubs but not the same one weekly as it is to easy to talk. play with same guys."

We aren't specifically looking for social meets, to be honest in our experience theyre a waste of time - we have only had socials at others requests. With the threesomes we have had it has been a case of meet, fuck, see you later which works out just fine for us. Couples seem more reluctant to take this approach.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"We think it’s a bit of a postcode lottery also, if you set your radius’s and travel time and half of that is in the North Sea you’re already at a disadvantage

We think it is, when we've been to London/northampton theres lots more people in close proximity than here, its quite rural here in comparison.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Great thread sinfully, and very informative posts everyone

It's cheered us up no end realising we're not alone, we were beginning to feel like slackers

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Seeing couples as a compromise over single ladies makes things harder as at times you’ll see the Male half of a couple as just an inconvenience which is really wrong xxx

If you read my post in context and didnt keep trying to find issue with me which when I address you ignore and move on to another we could both save some time.

As I also previously said weve met single women and men and had threesomes. Its finding a couple where we all click we are struggling with as I also said in my previous posts.

We have had a multitude of messages from couples who clearly are only interested in me, we now leave notes on couples who repeatedly put up statuses for females then when they fail at thaf request couples as the next besr thing. We've had messages asking me to meet alone, been told people want to meet they expect to both do as they please with me but hubby cannot touch the other female, someone offering to hook me up with their female stripper friend if I leave the hubby at home. I could go on.

Neither of us are interested in meeting a couple where it seems one sided, when we've had socials at others requests, and we've felt one of them isn't interested we've not met them again because if someone isn't a willing participant through choice/preference/force we'd be better off meeting a single person and actually having fun.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Interesting Post

We have not long got back into Swinging as a New Couple, having previously Swung with former partners over 10 years ago.

In that 10 years, the whole dynamic of Swinging has noticeably changed.

One of the possible reasons is, that in this day and age of Social Media and reality TV etc, more and more people are looking for perfection.

Between a couple looking for a couple, there are lots of variables. Looks. Body image. Social Group. Age. A willingness for BOTH to want to Swing. The list is endless. We have become spoilt.

Yes there has to be an attraction, and most people are not perfect specimens.

After all. That’s what Swinging is.

It’s not like you’re trying to find a life partner. Just someone to share your sexuality with

Just a few thoughts

S&N xxxxxxxxxxxxxx"

Totally agree

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We try not to overcomplicate things when looking for likeminded couples - if we like a profile we send them a message to say hi, and find out if they are interested.

If so, we make a date (can be weeks in advance as necessary) where we have a few drinks, and if we all feel we want to go and have some filthy fun we'll have a hotel room to go back to.

We, of course, have preferences for ages, body types, hair colour, etc... But to a large extent we find that the attraction comes from chatting over a drink, being able to look into the eyes of the other couple, actually getting to know them a bit.

We've had incredible meets with couples this way, some fantastic sex, and a few couples who are now friends.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"You say you have no sitter, then go on to say your oldest can baby sit. That's one barrier you have put up. You say no floor shows, for us as Mrs F is Bi she likes nothing more to start the play off with just girl girl, this is no means a floor show, that's barrier number 2. So for us we would move on. Its all about all 4 so like others say everyone has to be happy with each others preference/boundaries. Personally we tend to think compromise to the level where we all meet in the middle is where we all need to be, as meeting anyone that will only meet you on your side of the fence ABX and Y and others not moving at all to their side of the fence For CDE and X will find it very difficult in our opinion"

I don't think I made myself very clear, we do have our 17yr old daughter but she is not a responsible adult, whilst we are happy to go out for an evening, we wouldn't be comfortable for example travelling 90 minutes to the VA. We do not have a responsible adult she could call upon in our absence, so should something occur we need to be within a reasonable distance/timeframe to get home. Which somewhat limits us to bring unable to do clubs/staying over in a hotel etc.

I'm not sure it's a barrier we have put up as an excuse.

With regards to my floor show comment, we've been approached many times by couples wanting girl on girl whilst the guys sit by wanking and that's it. To me that is a floor show. It is also out of my comfort zone I'm bi curious not bisexual. I am not willing to do something out of my comfort zone to please others I'm not sure that's a barrier either to be honest, if something isn't fun, it isn't worth doing.

We do compromise, when we've been chatting to people we are always happy to suit their end of its something we're comfortable with. We don't have a specific list that requires ticks like many do.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Our plan is to meet on here, have a chat via KIK and see how we get on, if we plan a meet then it's because we confident that we will click but will plan a social but with the option to take things to the next level if things go well

Like the op we have kids and struggle with getting them looked after so like to make the most of our time when we do

We always send face pics early on, if we seem to get on chatting we are happy to meet.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

We have been to an organised social, and a party in a "club" local to us.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"We think it’s a bit of a postcode lottery also, if you set your radius’s and travel time and half of that is in the North Sea you’re already at a disadvantage

But look at all the fantasists, time wasters and fake profiles you eliminate in the process too

Try being surrounded by sea, in a community where it seems everyone is bound by 2 degrees of separation, staying under the vanilla mafia's radar.

One couple we've chatted to, won't meet at home because of the nosey neighbors...It can be like that here.

Given they live in a small village, can't say I blame them."

We get a lot of fake profiles locally, we conclude if it looks too good to be true it nearly always is.

We can understand people wanting privacy, it's quite a small community here, I've been approached at work twice, had a stalker, all who recognized me from photos on here. It can get uncomfortable quickly.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"We've been on and off here over 2 years and still havent got past a social meet yet.

We always send face pics early in the conversation, we both chat on here amd make it clear on messages who is chatting.

So spill the beans so we can work out where we're going wrong, and change our approach. What works for you?!

We find it very difficult. Havnt met any couples. Have tried but the ones we talk to either want BB. Separate rooms. Play with me. Dnt do BLACK. So have kind of given up and meet single men "

Think we've had the majority of those and more.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Wonder if it’s an age thing ? Younger couples not so confident in going any further than talking about it "

Could be, we've met singles and had no problems, Saturday night we met a couple and a single fem with no problem either which was a first.

The couples we've previously met have been of a similar age/older than us.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"We try not to overcomplicate things when looking for likeminded couples - if we like a profile we send them a message to say hi, and find out if they are interested.

If so, we make a date (can be weeks in advance as necessary) where we have a few drinks, and if we all feel we want to go and have some filthy fun we'll have a hotel room to go back to.

We've had incredible meets with couples this way, some fantastic sex, and a few couples who are now friends.

I think it's easy to over complicate things on here.

We've had some couples give us a blow by blow account of how they want things to proceed, never in the history of me having sex have I planned it down to the number of times I can suck a dick, and nor will I start now

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By *requent_FerryersCouple over a year ago

Norwich to Great Yarmouth

I think it's easy to over complicate things on here.

We have just had a lovely (hot and steamy) meet with a couple on Saturday night. They messaged us on Saturday morning, we exchanged messages and photos, the two girls chatted on the phone in the afternoon, they drove up to a local pub near us where we chatted about everything and nothing. Coffee back at ours before the two girls disappeared to the guest room. A while later we were "summoned" and everyone had fun.

No planning, no agenda, just let it happen "naturally".

We are not far from you geographically, but unfortunately out of your age-range.

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By * and BCouple over a year ago

Durham

There has been some great comments and feedback on this thread. Education for all of us we feel.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Interesting Post

We have not long got back into Swinging as a New Couple, having previously Swung with former partners over 10 years ago.

In that 10 years, the whole dynamic of Swinging has noticeably changed.

One of the possible reasons is, that in this day and age of Social Media and reality TV etc, more and more people are looking for perfection.

Between a couple looking for a couple, there are lots of variables. Looks. Body image. Social Group. Age. A willingness for BOTH to want to Swing. The list is endless. We have become spoilt.

Yes there has to be an attraction, and most people are not perfect specimens.

After all. That’s what Swinging is.

It’s not like you’re trying to find a life partner. Just someone to share your sexuality with

Just a few thoughts

S&N xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Totally agree "

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By *LIRTWITHUSCouple over a year ago

Chester

"We've been on and off here over 2 years and still havent got past a social meet yet.

We always send face pics early in the conversation, we both chat on here amd make it clear on messages who is chatting.

So spill the beans so we can work out where we're going wrong, and change our approach. What works for you?! "

Its social lifestyle with fun for us. We go to clubs, keep eye out for party night, guest lists etc. Also Social groups are the way forward as involves big get together chatting at bar before heading to club. We attended Red Heaven Social then onto Xtadia & was perfect. If we gel/swing/fool around then brill (usually do lol) but if not we've had brill night out with amazing people x

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By *_and_LCouple over a year ago

Tamworth

Our meets have all been in clubs so far, some chatting in advance, most meeting there. Sorry, I know that's not hugely helpful but more as a sympathy thing I guess. It's so much harder as part of a couple!

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