FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Time wasters
Time wasters
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"Been on here a while now and this issue is getting worse every day, are we allowed to name and shame without getting in trouble with admin ??"
Yes we'd agree it's getting worse.
No you can't name and shame. |
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"Been on here a while now and this issue is getting worse every day, are we allowed to name and shame without getting in trouble with admin ??"
Sadly you can't name and shame, but you can report their profile to admin and give the reason why. |
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"I named and shamed and got a 48 hour ban
Would I do it again?
Hell yes enough is enough
Our time is precious and limited
So why should these people get away with wasting it
"
The trouble with naming and shaming is its easy to abuse.
I could name and shame you, say you never turned up, say you were really a single bloke, say you had the clap....
None of these are true, but the damage is done.
Do you still think naming and shaming is a good idea? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Been on here a while now and this issue is getting worse every day, are we allowed to name and shame without getting in trouble with admin ??"
the lady looks very sexy I do find it odd that people would actually let you down but it is unfortunately quite common in this lifestyle  |
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I believe that I should name and shame
It’s the only deterrent that I see having any impact
I understand your point but
We have the messages to prove the validity of our actions
Do you support doing nothing
And therefore ruining a site aimed at true swingers
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"Been on here a while now and this issue is getting worse every day, are we allowed to name and shame without getting in trouble with admin ??the lady looks very sexy I do find it odd that people would actually let you down but it is unfortunately quite common in this lifestyle "
Are you saying an ugly woman should be let down then?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Think there needs to be a system where both parties can agree a social or a meet on here. Then after the date you can review in tick box form such as Did they show a)No show b)cancelled less than 2 hours before c) cancelled 8 hours before d) mutually cancelled.
No system would ever be perfect but if this data was shown it would soon out the one who are happy to Chat and wank, over the ones that are happy to meet.
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"Think there needs to be a system where both parties can agree a social or a meet on here. Then after the date you can review in tick box form such as Did they show a)No show b)cancelled less than 2 hours before c) cancelled 8 hours before d) mutually cancelled.
No system would ever be perfect but if this data was shown it would soon out the one who are happy to Chat and wank, over the ones that are happy to meet.
"
I agree with that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Think there needs to be a system where both parties can agree a social or a meet on here. Then after the date you can review in tick box form such as Did they show a)No show b)cancelled less than 2 hours before c) cancelled 8 hours before d) mutually cancelled.
No system would ever be perfect but if this data was shown it would soon out the one who are happy to Chat and wank, over the ones that are happy to meet.
"
That could be abused too. People get the arse ache if someone has to cancel. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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yes i agree too, worse everyday , i am struggling to even believe the posts listed in the browse section and meets and events section ..
these days its all male only looking to meet today as wife away, or some crude post saying fill this fill that ram this ,dump in me etc etc etc and you just know a decent respectable couple aren't going to post meets ............ |
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"I believe that I should name and shame
It’s the only deterrent that I see having any impact
I understand your point but
We have the messages to prove the validity of our actions
Do you support doing nothing
And therefore ruining a site aimed at true swingers
"
In which I'd say you'll continue to get 48 hour time outs and will eventually become so frustrated you leave or admin will get so pissed off you'll get thrown off.
Use common sense and the tools Fab gives you.
Sadly some people can't be bothered to use the second and lack the first. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i'd say its far to easy to own up to 10 e mail addresses, might even be normal if your in business or running a company .
but on here it allows people to open up to 10 accounts pretending to be something there not .
thats what needs to be looked into to stop the fakes..
timewasters are usually fakes profiles right .
veris mean nothing as if i have ten profiles 4couples ones 3 single guy ones 2 single male ones ,i can juggle veris about
im babbling on .......laters |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Think there needs to be a system where both parties can agree a social or a meet on here. Then after the date you can review in tick box form such as Did they show a)No show b)cancelled less than 2 hours before c) cancelled 8 hours before d) mutually cancelled.
No system would ever be perfect but if this data was shown it would soon out the one who are happy to Chat and wank, over the ones that are happy to meet.
That could be abused too. People get the arse ache if someone has to cancel. "
I agree, and we all have lives away from fab which when family are involved is far more important. It's the no shows that would irk me. Cancelling is fine but please do it before Mrs S starts getting ready, so 3 days before is fine  |
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To be honest, if time wasters bother you that much, it's probably more to do with you and your selection procedure. Time wasters and fakes are easily avoided / spotted, using a bit of common sense.
on a separate issue.
Some people include demands in their profiles which just encourage time wasters to try and waste their time. |
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We will just become untrusting of people unfortunately
We will be less likely to use fab for meets
As for getting frustrated, I would rather not participate than get frustrated
There’s always alternatives
Problems always have solutions
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I agree with the comments about the amount of time wasters on fan increasing. We had a meet organised a few days ago and one guy confirmed in writing on fab his intention to attend only a few hours before the meet.
He didnt turn up. He did not contact us to let us know he had changed his mind.
Interestingly whilst he was supposed to be with us he did find time to log onto fab looking to arrange other meets.
We are not allowed to name and shame him but there is nothing in the rules that prohibit us from writing messages to everyone on our friends list with his identity.
These idiots think that they get away with this type of behaviour undamaged because fab wont allow naming and shaming.
Do they really believe that their identity doesnt get passed around informally?
This particular person has now been blocked by numerous genuine females and couples following his no show. |
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"We will just become untrusting of people unfortunately
We will be less likely to use fab for meets
As for getting frustrated, I would rather not participate than get frustrated
There’s always alternatives
Problems always have solutions
"
We totally agree with you guys .
So much so , we are having a break as the time wasters and the general downhill way the site has gone has got to us now .
I really can’t see why the idea mooted about both parties clicking a box to say they’ve agreed a meet and time couldn’t be implemented . Then afterwards click again to say whether they turned up or not .
Persistent non attendees could then be booted off the site . |
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"Tbh it’s not just only guys that are time wasters
But mostly it is."
How would you know that ? It might be your personal experience, but any couple looking for guys is likely to get more meet requests from guys , and as a percentage, right across fab, it is probably no different to other groups. |
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"Tbh it’s not just only guys that are time wasters
But mostly it is."
that’s simply a reflection of numbers. The only people who wasted my time was a couple about 3 years ago. My selection process is quite robust. |
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By *LT22Man
over a year ago
Teddington |
I have been on and off Fabs for about 5 yrs now and in my opinion it is not as good as it was due to timewasters and dreamer's. I use it to keep upto date with the Club scene mostly, which is good. As for naming and shaming why bother. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Been on here a while now and this issue is getting worse every day, are we allowed to name and shame without getting in trouble with admin ??the lady looks very sexy I do find it odd that people would actually let you down but it is unfortunately quite common in this lifestyle
Are you saying an ugly woman should be let down then? "
No I'm just saying she looks very attractive and what fool would let her down but thankyou for taking an interest in me |
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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago
Calderdale innit |
I would say the time wasters are those who arrange to meet and then don't show up ans don't let you know. .
Others may change their minds or have something happen in real life to stop them meeting .
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would say the time wasters are those who arrange to meet and then don't show up ans don't let you know. .
Others may change their minds or have something happen in real life to stop them meeting .
"
yes lots of different reasons why but so many don't feel the need to communicate them |
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"I would say the time wasters are those who arrange to meet and then don't show up ans don't let you know. .
Others may change their minds or have something happen in real life to stop them meeting .
"
Either way , what stops them from letting the other person know they won’t be turning up ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I spebd a lot of time finding the right guys or possibly couple and then after a few days say ok we get in touch when we can accommodate. Lol. Or men contact you very eager arrange a day and go silent. But id rather that than be let doen on the day as we travel so can be a pain |
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By *ophlee OP Couple
over a year ago
Fareham |
"I spebd a lot of time finding the right guys or possibly couple and then after a few days say ok we get in touch when we can accommodate. Lol. Or men contact you very eager arrange a day and go silent. But id rather that than be let doen on the day as we travel so can be a pain "
Agreed, it's bad enough going quiet or deleted profile and created another, but to arrange a social/meet and even hours before confirm then No show is just blxxdy rude. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I spebd a lot of time finding the right guys or possibly couple and then after a few days say ok we get in touch when we can accommodate. Lol. Or men contact you very eager arrange a day and go silent. But id rather that than be let doen on the day as we travel so can be a pain
Agreed, it's bad enough going quiet or deleted profile and created another, but to arrange a social/meet and even hours before confirm then No show is just blxxdy rude. "
Its not necessary. We always say we will confirm when we get to the hotel a time as its work and can be a problem. We make it clear. So everything is up front and clear |
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By *ophlee OP Couple
over a year ago
Fareham |
"I spebd a lot of time finding the right guys or possibly couple and then after a few days say ok we get in touch when we can accommodate. Lol. Or men contact you very eager arrange a day and go silent. But id rather that than be let doen on the day as we travel so can be a pain
Agreed, it's bad enough going quiet or deleted profile and created another, but to arrange a social/meet and even hours before confirm then No show is just blxxdy rude.
Its not necessary. We always say we will confirm when we get to the hotel a time as its work and can be a problem. We make it clear. So everything is up front and clear "
This is exactly why we insist on social chat first now so at least when they don't show up there you know they wouldn't have for play either. Still annoying tho |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Count on them as a lucky escape
Would you really want to spend time with people who are that rude and inconsiderate!
Agree there should be a way no shows could be logged against a profile though, it would be a deterrent and a heads up to others  |
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"Been on here a while now and this issue is getting worse every day, are we allowed to name and shame without getting in trouble with admin ??"
Gets worse daily and it ain't always the bloke dispite them getting the blame the single woman are worse for it if u ask me they just hear to get a kick out of leading men on |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You won’t ever win this one
We have come to the conclusion that we always have a plan b which is a local club
If we agree to travel we book a hotel near a club as plan b can still be implemented |
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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago
Calderdale innit |
"I would say the time wasters are those who arrange to meet and then don't show up ans don't let you know. .
Others may change their minds or have something happen in real life to stop them meeting .
Either way , what stops them from letting the other person know they won’t be turning up ? "
No idea ,maybe they never intended to meet.
I think even if someone can't make a meet, as long as they let you know in plenty of time ,no worries I wouldnt call them time wasters, unless there was a pattern of cancelling. |
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"I would say the time wasters are those who arrange to meet and then don't show up ans don't let you know. .
Others may change their minds or have something happen in real life to stop them meeting .
Either way , what stops them from letting the other person know they won’t be turning up ?
No idea ,maybe they never intended to meet.
I think even if someone can't make a meet, as long as they let you know in plenty of time ,no worries I wouldnt call them time wasters, unless there was a pattern of cancelling. "
I agree with you  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's definitely getting worse. After being let down twice in two weeks (meet arranged, guy didn't bother to turn up) we have decided to stop meeting. Just not worth the stress. If we want to play, we'll try a club. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Think there needs to be a system where both parties can agree a social or a meet on here. Then after the date you can review in tick box form such as Did they show a)No show b)cancelled less than 2 hours before c) cancelled 8 hours before d) mutually cancelled.
No system would ever be perfect but if this data was shown it would soon out the one who are happy to Chat and wank, over the ones that are happy to meet.
"
Definitely agree with this
It would certainly help to flush out the timewasters |
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"Been on here a while now and this issue is getting worse every day, are we allowed to name and shame without getting in trouble with admin ??m
No unfortunately we can’t make n shame x"
Name n shame not make n shame ....typo soz x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Been on here a while now and this issue is getting worse every day, are we allowed to name and shame without getting in trouble with admin ??"
i think we should name and shame time waster they have made the site shite |
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I named and shamed once and nothing, stayed on my update until the time ran out, didn’t realise it wasn’t allowed. Did it a second time and got a telling off via a message and my update was deleted. I think you should be allowed to if you have proof you could show to admin. But I’m a good girl and don’t like breaking rules, so wouldn’t do it again |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It is getting worse and should find a way of naming and shaming as reporting it doesn't seem to work !
But publicly naming opens up a can of worms and can lead to people being malicious just get back at someone
An idea would be a feedback system like a rating |
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By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago
Hull |
I know of one or two Couples on here who have resolved this quite well.
In their Profile, they clearly state they'll Name & Shame anyone who messes them about.
Plus in their Meet notices, that Name & Shame diktat is repeated.
They've never had any problems! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would say the time wasters are those who arrange to meet and then don't show up ans don't let you know. .
Others may change their minds or have something happen in real life to stop them meeting .
"
Or arrange a meet and then go UNLOS, which happened to me earlier this week. Contrary to what others say it's not always easy to spot them; I am neither stupid nor inexperienced and it happens to me fairly regularly |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Naming and shaming could be abused, someone could lie and say they wasted time when they didn’t. "
yes this....... Their are many unscrupulous people doing this along with the lovely genuine ones..... Naming and shaming has to be governed and the site governs it |
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"Naming and shaming could be abused, someone could lie and say they wasted time when they didn’t. "
This^^
However frustrating ‘timewasters’ are, it’s open to abuse. Someone’s definition of ‘timewasters’ may be completely different to someone’s else’s.
When we see someone ‘naming and shaming’ - either on their profile or on the forum, we use this as a filter. Who wants to meet a namer and shamer, who could name and shame you for their definition of being a timewasters?? |
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By *ophlee OP Couple
over a year ago
Fareham |
We get everyone's worries about the whole abuse thing with naming and shaming, but there has to be a way of doing it and the tick box idea I think is a good one. And maybe both sides are able to put up why a meet didn't happen. Some no shows I'm sure are genuine but this way it would help out those who are just here for kicks and bringing the site down |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We get everyone's worries about the whole abuse thing with naming and shaming, but there has to be a way of doing it and the tick box idea I think is a good one. And maybe both sides are able to put up why a meet didn't happen. Some no shows I'm sure are genuine but this way it would help out those who are just here for kicks and bringing the site down"
No fair way to do it unfortunately only the people concerned no why the meet didn't take place, sex is a luxury item and one day you wake up you fancy it another you don't or everyday life kicks in and what seemed like a good idea at the time it was organised all of a sudden isn't so important, the main problem I think is that the person let down wasn't told and they may have gone to some effort to have that day available to meet, maybe booked a hotel or even purchased train tickets etc it's the ignorance of communication, the fact that they don't feel any empathy with that person, maybe even a more attractive offer came up sexually and they went for that who knows, so many imponderables |
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"To be honest, if time wasters bother you that much, it's probably more to do with you and your selection procedure. Time wasters and fakes are easily avoided / spotted, using a bit of common sense.
on a separate issue.
Some people include demands in their profiles which just encourage time wasters to try and waste their time."
You've written what I've been thinking. |
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