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Fab safety tips for meeting...
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By *sGivesWood OP Woman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
In the light of a few recent threads/comments I've seen, these are from the fab faq section, if anyone has any more, please feel free to post them on this thread.
Stay safe people!!
Don't forget that the only person responsible for your safety is you, so don't put yourself in a situation where a stranger can let you down. These are some tips to help:
* Don't give strangers your home phone number, your usual mobile number or your address or let them know where you work. Buy a spare PAYG SIM for your mobile and use it for initial contacts.
* Don't rely on strangers for transport, so don't agree to go somewhere in a car with someone you don't know.
* Don't turn up to strange addresses without having met the people you're expecting, first, beforehand.
* Always meet first somewhere safe and public (a cafe) first.
* Always tell someone you trust who you're going to meet, and where.
* Don't arrange meets without having spoken to the people you're expecting to meet first on phone OR on seen on cam.
* Don't invite strangers into your home.
* Don't put yourself in a situation where if someone doesn't turn up, you'll be upset. So don't travel 100s of miles and book into a hotel in the expectation of meeting someone unless you've met them beforehand.
Attending an organised social or a swinging club meet is a good place to start. |
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All excellent points.
Ref the meeting at stranger addresses: be very careful (we don't even consider it), neutral ground is much safer (hotel etc).
At a stranger's address you have no real control of who will turn up, where the hidden cams and mics are nor of much else (especially if you are daft enough to go alone).
No matter what the law says re hidden cams etc it won't help you much once the footage hits the web.
As for giving out phone numbers etc the cheap and disposable pay as you go is def the only way to play. You'd think people hadn't heard of stalkers etc from the number of guys on here who say "Hello, can we meet/fuck and can I phone you now!"
Ref phones: make sure the battery is fully charged and when you get where you are going check you have a good signal or the cavalry won't know you need them when you do.
If the other parties think you are being paranoid about your safety maybe you should ask yourself if you are meeting people who are being stupidly simplistic in regards to the (admittedly) small but very real dangers in today's world.
Have fun, play safe.
P.S. Forgot: First impressions count so wear full Kevlar and take a chainsaw plus the odd Doberman or two.  |
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By *sGivesWood OP Woman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"All excellent points.
Ref the meeting at stranger addresses: be very careful (we don't even consider it), neutral ground is much safer (hotel etc).
At a stranger's address you have no real control of who will turn up, where the hidden cams and mics are nor of much else (especially if you are daft enough to go alone).
No matter what the law says re hidden cams etc it won't help you much once the footage hits the web.
As for giving out phone numbers etc the cheap and disposable pay as you go is def the only way to play. You'd think people hadn't heard of stalkers etc from the number of guys on here who say "Hello, can we meet/fuck and can I phone you now!"
Ref phones: make sure the battery is fully charged and when you get where you are going check you have a good signal or the cavalry won't know you need them when you do.
If the other parties think you are being paranoid about your safety maybe you should ask yourself if you are meeting people who are being stupidly simplistic in regards to the (admittedly) small but very real dangers in today's world.
Have fun, play safe.
P.S. Forgot: First impressions count so wear full Kevlar and take a chainsaw plus the odd Doberman or two. "
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"Bumping this to see if anyone has anything else they want to add x"
All very good advice.
I’d also suggest you don’t let a meet buy you a drink before you’ve arrived.
I’ve met a couple of ladies off here (and in the normal dating world) who’ve asked me to buy them a drink before they’ve arrived - luckily they were meeting little old me so were quite safe - but it did occur to me they didn’t know me from Adam and were putting themselves at risk of a drink being spiked. |
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By *sGivesWood OP Woman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"Bumping this to see if anyone has anything else they want to add x
All very good advice.
I’d also suggest you don’t let a meet buy you a drink before you’ve arrived.
I’ve met a couple of ladies off here (and in the normal dating world) who’ve asked me to buy them a drink before they’ve arrived - luckily they were meeting little old me so were quite safe - but it did occur to me they didn’t know me from Adam and were putting themselves at risk of a drink being spiked. "
That is a very good point, as is never leaving your drink unattended. X |
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And to add to my last, try not to leave drinks unattended at any time until you’re comfortable with the person you’re meeting.
A female friend of mine once had her drink spiked at a work event in a hired out bar that was closed to the public at the time, so goes to show you really can’t be too careful. |
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By *sGivesWood OP Woman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"And to add to my last, try not to leave drinks unattended at any time until you’re comfortable with the person you’re meeting.
A female friend of mine once had her drink spiked at a work event in a hired out bar that was closed to the public at the time, so goes to show you really can’t be too careful. "
I had this at a bar at my friends birthday party. I woke up in an alleyway not knowing what happened. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I also have a pre arranged friend text me about half an hour into a new meet, gives me a way out if i dont feel 100% safe."
 Have a random code phrase for your reply to let them know you're ok. Like "it's fish fingers and spinach for tea".
Not "I'm ok" because a nutter could nick your phone and say that. |
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Don't leave people in your home unattended - they may borrow things, find out personal information, or interfere somehow. Once you have known people well enough to invite them back, they are still not 100% safe - so continue with other measures you put in place for security.
Practical tips - have glasses, water, possibly kettle etc to hand.
When replacing your phone get one that's got 2 Sim Card slots in it, allowing you to have your pay as you go SIM and your regular SIM running at the same time - your safety friends can use whichever number.
Lock your doors when with your meet, to prevent someone they know from popping in.
If in doubt, send a text message to yourself with the other persons info on it, which would create a traceable piece of evidence, should something awful happen.
If they want photos of you in action - use your camera and forward pics to them later, after you have reviewed and edited them.
Create a sham home town for yourself, making you harder to stalk etc.
Create a sham job type - something that you know about, to throw people off your scent.
When meeting, check nothing gives away identifying details, such as employer named car park permits on your car.
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I always say no to something in advance. It’s useful to see how they receive a no.
Lots of guys are lovely and accept “no” with good grace, some try hard to persuade you, some override it completely. I wouldn’t meet the latter two alone. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I always say no to something in advance. It’s useful to see how they receive a no.
Lots of guys are lovely and accept “no” with good grace, some try hard to persuade you, some override it completely. I wouldn’t meet the latter two alone. "
That's a really good tip! Never thought of saying no on purpose to gauge a reaction.
(Perfect example is the abusive replies if we say no thanks via message on here.) |
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By *offee with MilkCouple
over a year ago
Over the roundabout and then turn right. |
"I always say no to something in advance. It’s useful to see how they receive a no.
Lots of guys are lovely and accept “no” with good grace, some try hard to persuade you, some override it completely. I wouldn’t meet the latter two alone. "
The only thing with that is if someone says no to us we make a note that the person is not interested and we don't persue them any more.
One safety tip we can offer is to give your Google or Apple account details to someone you trust. This will allow your phone to be tracked. |
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"In the light of a few recent threads/comments I've seen, these are from the fab faq section, if anyone has any more, please feel free to post them on this thread.
Stay safe people!!
Don't forget that the only person responsible for your safety is you, so don't put yourself in a situation where a stranger can let you down. These are some tips to help:
* Don't give strangers your home phone number, your usual mobile number or your address or let them know where you work. Buy a spare PAYG SIM for your mobile and use it for initial contacts.
* Don't rely on strangers for transport, so don't agree to go somewhere in a car with someone you don't know.
* Don't turn up to strange addresses without having met the people you're expecting, first, beforehand.
* Always meet first somewhere safe and public (a cafe) first.
* Always tell someone you trust who you're going to meet, and where.
* Don't arrange meets without having spoken to the people you're expecting to meet first on phone OR on seen on cam.
* Don't invite strangers into your home.
* Don't put yourself in a situation where if someone doesn't turn up, you'll be upset. So don't travel 100s of miles and book into a hotel in the expectation of meeting someone unless you've met them beforehand.
Attending an organised social or a swinging club meet is a good place to start."
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
You need to be very careful just today came up on the local newspaper that a couple was doing a threesome with a girl at their home and she left the door open so her boyfriend could access the home and both of them threaten the couple with a knife to rob them everything they could find. Never bring people you don't know to your home xx |
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"I always say no to something in advance. It’s useful to see how they receive a no.
Lots of guys are lovely and accept “no” with good grace, some try hard to persuade you, some override it completely. I wouldn’t meet the latter two alone.
The only thing with that is if someone says no to us we make a note that the person is not interested and we don't persue them any more.
One safety tip we can offer is to give your Google or Apple account details to someone you trust. This will allow your phone to be tracked."
I don’t mean no to them as a whole. But, for example, if they ask for a face pic you could say “I prefer to chat a little first if that’s ok”. If they get shirty that might tell you something. |
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By *offee with MilkCouple
over a year ago
Over the roundabout and then turn right. |
"I always say no to something in advance. It’s useful to see how they receive a no.
Lots of guys are lovely and accept “no” with good grace, some try hard to persuade you, some override it completely. I wouldn’t meet the latter two alone.
The only thing with that is if someone says no to us we make a note that the person is not interested and we don't persue them any more.
One safety tip we can offer is to give your Google or Apple account details to someone you trust. This will allow your phone to be tracked.
I don’t mean no to them as a whole. But, for example, if they ask for a face pic you could say “I prefer to chat a little first if that’s ok”. If they get shirty that might tell you something. "
That's reasonable enough.
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By *offee with MilkCouple
over a year ago
Over the roundabout and then turn right. |
"I have a friend who checks in with me at a prearranged time - but I also live share my location with her on WhatsApp while I'm meeting them - and I tell the person I'm meeting that too. "
I didn't know that could be done. I feel a Google coming on |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I would add
Keep meets to a hotel. Then people don't know where you live.
Even if you are going half for the room get the guy to pay for the room. 99% of hotels nowadays insist you pay with a debit or credit card.
Spend a long time getting to know somebody online before you meet them. If your gut tells you something is wrong trust your gut.
Make a first meet a social meet in a very public place such as a cafe, pub, coffee shop, etc. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I always say no to something in advance. It’s useful to see how they receive a no.
Lots of guys are lovely and accept “no” with good grace, some try hard to persuade you, some override it completely. I wouldn’t meet the latter two alone. "
That is a very clever idea. You get to see who takes a no gracefully or who sends you a nasty message for saying no. |
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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago
Paisley |
"I also have a pre arranged friend text me about half an hour into a new meet, gives me a way out if i dont feel 100% safe.
Have a random code phrase for your reply to let them know you're ok. Like "it's fish fingers and spinach for tea".
Not "I'm ok" because a nutter could nick your phone and say that."
Remember and delete the texts where you’ve agreed what the phrase should be! |
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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago
Paisley |
Whilst they are all great suggestions I don’t talk or cam with anyone before a meet. I use kik rather than give out my number. First meet is always somewhere public and if anyone doesn’t respect that then I don’t meet them.
Find somewhere that your comfortable meeting and won’t mind sitting on your own.
Set a time limit to wait on them. Personally 30 minutes is plenty of time. |
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"Whilst they are all great suggestions I don’t talk or cam with anyone before a meet. I use kik rather than give out my number. First meet is always somewhere public and if anyone doesn’t respect that then I don’t meet them.
Find somewhere that your comfortable meeting and won’t mind sitting on your own.
Set a time limit to wait on them. Personally 30 minutes is plenty of time. "
Totally agree with meeting somewhere public.
I don’t really understand the obsession on here over phone numbers - the people I’ve met off here I’ve exchanged numbers with.
For me if someone is unwilling to exchange numbers or suggests they might be a timewaster (I realise it might be different for female members of the site).
Why is it that people are reluctant to exchange numbers on a swingers website, far more so than on a regular dating site? |
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"
Why is it that people are reluctant to exchange numbers on a swingers website, far more so than on a regular dating site? "
For us, it's because a) changing numbers is a pain in the backside (and not in a good way) so giving your number to someone who turns out to be a bit stalky feels like a risk. Also, if your number is, say, tied in with a business or in the public domain, that makes you very very identifiable. We exchange numbers with people we've met and played with but not before then.
This is a great thread by the way - the safe word tip is a good one, not just for phone calls back but for couples playing - it's really important to have a safe way of hitting the big "stop" button! |
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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago
Paisley |
"Whilst they are all great suggestions I don’t talk or cam with anyone before a meet. I use kik rather than give out my number. First meet is always somewhere public and if anyone doesn’t respect that then I don’t meet them.
Find somewhere that your comfortable meeting and won’t mind sitting on your own.
Set a time limit to wait on them. Personally 30 minutes is plenty of time.
Totally agree with meeting somewhere public.
I don’t really understand the obsession on here over phone numbers - the people I’ve met off here I’ve exchanged numbers with.
For me if someone is unwilling to exchange numbers or suggests they might be a timewaster (I realise it might be different for female members of the site).
Why is it that people are reluctant to exchange numbers on a swingers website, far more so than on a regular dating site? "
I don’t treat this any differently to a dating site. I’ve heard horror stories of people being harassed and stalked. If your number is linked to Facebook then they’ll appear on the ‘People you may know’.
Guys are just as much at risk of being harassed as women. I’d be wary of giving my number to anyone until I’ve met them. |
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By *sGivesWood OP Woman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"Whilst they are all great suggestions I don’t talk or cam with anyone before a meet. I use kik rather than give out my number. First meet is always somewhere public and if anyone doesn’t respect that then I don’t meet them.
Find somewhere that your comfortable meeting and won’t mind sitting on your own.
Set a time limit to wait on them. Personally 30 minutes is plenty of time.
Totally agree with meeting somewhere public.
I don’t really understand the obsession on here over phone numbers - the people I’ve met off here I’ve exchanged numbers with.
For me if someone is unwilling to exchange numbers or suggests they might be a timewaster (I realise it might be different for female members of the site).
Why is it that people are reluctant to exchange numbers on a swingers website, far more so than on a regular dating site?
I don’t treat this any differently to a dating site. I’ve heard horror stories of people being harassed and stalked. If your number is linked to Facebook then they’ll appear on the ‘People you may know’.
Guys are just as much at risk of being harassed as women. I’d be wary of giving my number to anyone until I’ve met them. "
I've experienced this. My facebook is now totally locked down as a result. |
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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago
hiding from cock pics. |
"Whilst they are all great suggestions I don’t talk or cam with anyone before a meet. I use kik rather than give out my number. First meet is always somewhere public and if anyone doesn’t respect that then I don’t meet them.
Find somewhere that your comfortable meeting and won’t mind sitting on your own.
Set a time limit to wait on them. Personally 30 minutes is plenty of time.
Totally agree with meeting somewhere public.
I don’t really understand the obsession on here over phone numbers - the people I’ve met off here I’ve exchanged numbers with.
For me if someone is unwilling to exchange numbers or suggests they might be a timewaster (I realise it might be different for female members of the site).
Why is it that people are reluctant to exchange numbers on a swingers website, far more so than on a regular dating site?
I don’t treat this any differently to a dating site. I’ve heard horror stories of people being harassed and stalked. If your number is linked to Facebook then they’ll appear on the ‘People you may know’.
Guys are just as much at risk of being harassed as women. I’d be wary of giving my number to anyone until I’ve met them. "
I used to give my number out, untill somebody who was completely single's wife phoned me to ask who I was. |
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By *sGivesWood OP Woman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"Whilst they are all great suggestions I don’t talk or cam with anyone before a meet. I use kik rather than give out my number. First meet is always somewhere public and if anyone doesn’t respect that then I don’t meet them.
Find somewhere that your comfortable meeting and won’t mind sitting on your own.
Set a time limit to wait on them. Personally 30 minutes is plenty of time.
Totally agree with meeting somewhere public.
I don’t really understand the obsession on here over phone numbers - the people I’ve met off here I’ve exchanged numbers with.
For me if someone is unwilling to exchange numbers or suggests they might be a timewaster (I realise it might be different for female members of the site).
Why is it that people are reluctant to exchange numbers on a swingers website, far more so than on a regular dating site?
I don’t treat this any differently to a dating site. I’ve heard horror stories of people being harassed and stalked. If your number is linked to Facebook then they’ll appear on the ‘People you may know’.
Guys are just as much at risk of being harassed as women. I’d be wary of giving my number to anyone until I’ve met them.
I used to give my number out, untill somebody who was completely single's wife phoned me to ask who I was. "
And another good reason not to. |
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