FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Verifications
Verifications
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I have quite a few verifications and only show a few.I messaged a lady and she said i have too many for her to want to meet me.This if fine and her choice,i dont just meet or have sex with anyone i am choosey and like socials aswell as play meets.I was wondering what others thoughts are on the amount of verifications others have. |
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By *ilk_TreMan
over a year ago
Wherever the party is! |
"I have quite a few verifications and only show a few.I messaged a lady and she said i have too many for her to want to meet me.This if fine and her choice,i dont just meet or have sex with anyone i am choosey and like socials aswell as play meets.I was wondering what others thoughts are on the amount of verifications others have."
If you have too many verifications, maybe you could try to get rid of some? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Must admit it puts us off a bit from meeting a person with a very large amount of verifications and it's only for the reason of, we like to meet folk with little experience as for us it makes it more exciting and more natural..a bit hypocritical on our part I suppose because we have been swingers for around 20 years and met a lot of folk, but we just like it that way..we never meet the same people twice too |
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It's the 'quality' rather than the quantity which I'm more likely to get judgey about. Lots saying good stuff and/or sounding like we might get on will be far more appealing than a single generic, clichéd style veri for example. But they're only a small part of the decision making process for me anyway. |
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"Too many!!! 14 verifications going back to 2016 that's not bad going to be fair you see people with many more.
Some are just far to fussy"
I have alot more over 50 but just dont display all of them.It was just interesting to me.I wished her well and i hope she having fun on fab. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have quite a few verifications and only show a few.I messaged a lady and she said i have too many for her to want to meet me.This if fine and her choice,i dont just meet or have sex with anyone i am choosey and like socials aswell as play meets.I was wondering what others thoughts are on the amount of verifications others have."
Hide your veri summary and just show a few select ones  |
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"I have quite a few verifications and only show a few.I messaged a lady and she said i have too many for her to want to meet me.This if fine and her choice,i dont just meet or have sex with anyone i am choosey and like socials aswell as play meets.I was wondering what others thoughts are on the amount of verifications others have.
Hide your veri summary and just show a few select ones "
I have done that its good advice  |
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"could also be she was looking for a polite way to say thanks but no thanks?    Maybe but i can handle the rejection i dont spit my dummy out if people dont want to meet me for whatever reason.
some are not so laid back and accepting so she may have felt let you down gently"
I did wish her well she was a nice lady.Hopefully she has found people who suit what she wants now.Yes i am very laidback its the best way to be. |
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"Fine with me... you have very nice veries... her choice... maybe she was looking for a virgin? "
Thankyou.She was quite new to the swinging world.Prehaps she was looking for people who are new to it aswell. |
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Most of my veri’s are from hosting events & a few from socials. Very few play veri’s. If someone feels that I have too many, it’s their problem, not mine.
Seems an odd thing to judge someone on but each to their own!!  |
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Mate , you’ve done the sensible thing and show a few , and have done away with your veri summary . Have a quick look at ours , without the summary , and then with .... it makes a massive difference to the way people perceive you . If we are looking for newbies we never show the summary , so since we aren’t really looking at all at the moment we will show it for a bit . And yeah we will get judged for it but hey ho |
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It seems hypocritical to judge someone on the amount of verifications on a swinging site . However I have to be honest and say I’m guilty of judging and blanking profiles where a woman has dozens of veris dating back years . I’m also particularly conscious of the nature of some of those veris ... ie barebackers and those guys that are throwing it up absolutely any woman / TS /TV and men |
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"Is that right some people make up verifications? "
We’ve never come across it , but there are some people who say it happens .
I don’t get why anyone would do it , and find it very strange that if it does then why have we never come across it in over seven years on the site ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think some judge more than others. If someone thinks you have too many veris, are they really the type you'd like to meet OP? If someone doesn't want to take the time to read the content of your veris and just judge you based on the number, that's their issue. You shouldn't have to hide your verifications, just because the odd few think you may meet too much. Bugger them. |
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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago
All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest |
"I think some judge more than others. If someone thinks you have too many veris, are they really the type you'd like to meet OP? If someone doesn't want to take the time to read the content of your veris and just judge you based on the number, that's their issue. You shouldn't have to hide your verifications, just because the odd few think you may meet too much. Bugger them. "
I couldn't agree more with this. If they're willing to judge you on a number alone then they probably aren't worth your time meeting anyway. I don't form an opinion of someone based on the number of their veris, but rather on their content and quality |
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"I think people should have their profiles in whatever way makes them happy.
I won't meet anyone with more than 4 sex veris displayed on their profile. "
What if they don’t display their veris , but have had hundreds of sex meets ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think people should have their profiles in whatever way makes them happy.
I won't meet anyone with more than 4 sex veris displayed on their profile.
What if they don’t display their veris , but have had hundreds of sex meets ? "
I'm happy with that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’ve come across 2 trains of thought with regards to the ‘too many verification’ argument. There are those who fundamentally disapprove of the concept of making public who their friends are or who they’ve slept with. That is a view that I respect, but obviously those people are going to disapprove of the fairly public way my husband and I conduct our swinging life. Then there are those who disapprove or feel uncomfortable with those who are very active on the swing scene. Those people are also not going to have much time for us either, and I’m not sure we’d feel comfortable with those who have such a different outlook to swinging. We are very fortunate in that we’ve found plenty of people with a similar outlook to ourselves, so we haven’t needed to hide our verifications to get meets. However I always believe in adjusting a profile to attract ones target market, so if we found we were constantly losing out on fun because of our verifications we wouldn’t hesitate to hide them. OP only you will know if your verifications are frequently costing you meets with your target market, or if that incident was a one off.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The number doesn't bother me too much. It's who verifies them that I look at. If I intend to meet someone I'll look at the profiles of everyone who has verified him/her and what he/she had to say in turn. I did once decline to meet someone becuase their profile said safe sex but they'd left a veri suggesting otherwise on a profile. |
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"I think people should have their profiles in whatever way makes them happy.
I won't meet anyone with more than 4 sex veris displayed on their profile.
What if they don’t display their veris , but have had hundreds of sex meets ?
I'm happy with that. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have quite a few verifications and only show a few.I messaged a lady and she said i have too many for her to want to meet me.This if fine and her choice,i dont just meet or have sex with anyone i am choosey and like socials aswell as play meets.I was wondering what others thoughts are on the amount of verifications others have.
If you have too many verifications, maybe you could try to get rid of some? "
I wish there was an option to refuse or delete them but I don't think there is. I don't ask and only got some at the start because I had to . Now i don't need them and alot are really just social. I don't want to give either as i like to keep my meets private . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have quite a few verifications and only show a few.I messaged a lady and she said i have too many for her to want to meet me.This if fine and her choice,i dont just meet or have sex with anyone i am choosey and like socials aswell as play meets.I was wondering what others thoughts are on the amount of verifications others have.
If you have too many verifications, maybe you could try to get rid of some?
I wish there was an option to refuse or delete them but I don't think there is. I don't ask and only got some at the start because I had to . Now i don't need them and alot are really just social. I don't want to give either as i like to keep my meets private . "
you dont have to display them
as for refusing them just ignore them, not sure if thats an option so they jusy lie dormant , as in not read  |
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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago
Calderdale innit |
I look more at the content of verifications,than the amount .
If they are really graphic ott ones ,it does put me off.
Like the ones that show some humour or say what the persons like,rather than what they did.
You can't win with veries, too many ans people are put off ,if you have none they are also put off.
You display the ones you want op |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We have been told we have too many verifications but people need to understand 1 this is a swinging site, 2 we don’t just have play meets and 3 we go to a club and bump into a lot of people so often have a fair few veries from 1 night |
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I prefer more rather than less verifications for someone in general.
You'll just find the people who you are matched with op, if you are generally reasonable, communicate well who you are and try to filter your contacts based on best known details. |
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Wow. We publish all our veris, some are funny and some naughty. We love the social side of swinging and have met some brilliant people. We're regulars at our local club so meet a lot of different people.
I didn't know if you have a lot of veris it puts people off hahaha.
X |
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Honestly OP, if you want to show them all go for it, there's plenty of women who are happy to go forward with a sayer (meet at social events) & players. It makes you very real in their eyes. To them and those wanting to aspire to have similar experiences, you sir are a catch, be yourself and don't change anything. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We have been told we have too many verifications but people need to understand 1 this is a swinging site, 2 we don’t just have play meets and 3 we go to a club and bump into a lot of people so often have a fair few veries from 1 night"
Some people are private and discreet amd prefer to meet people with few veris or them all hidden. It's not necessarily a slur against those that have many veris. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We have been told we have too many verifications but people need to understand 1 this is a swinging site, 2 we don’t just have play meets and 3 we go to a club and bump into a lot of people so often have a fair few veries from 1 night
Some people are private and discreet amd prefer to meet people with few veris or them all hidden. It's not necessarily a slur against those that have many veris. "
We was told basically we’re slags and don’t have any standards! Said profile doesn’t even know us and didn’t even bother reading any of our veries or they’d of seen most were social meets, both private meets and clubs - just don’t know who they think they are! We are an honest couple and haven’t done anything to be ashamed of! We don’t display all our veries as we have quite a few from regular meets but do display how many meets we’ve had, we could lie and just display a few and not show how many meets we have had if we weren’t honest and really wanted to meet people that don’t have many but that’s just not in our nature! If people think we’ve got too many veries and don’t want to meet oh well whatever- not that bothered to be honest as we have a lot of fun anyway whether that be with other people or just us - it’s all good! |
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"I have quite a few verifications and only show a few.I messaged a lady and she said i have too many for her to want to meet me.This if fine and her choice,i dont just meet or have sex with anyone i am choosey and like socials aswell as play meets.I was wondering what others thoughts are on the amount of verifications others have."
I've been outright called a slut or similar, multiple times, for having 50+. Usually by blokes with zero or who I've turned down. I like to point out that yes I am, bloody proud of it and disinclined to care what some random internet knob thinks. Also fun to point out that they can't even get into a slut's knickers |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have quite a few verifications and only show a few.I messaged a lady and she said i have too many for her to want to meet me.This if fine and her choice,i dont just meet or have sex with anyone i am choosey and like socials aswell as play meets.I was wondering what others thoughts are on the amount of verifications others have.
I've been outright called a slut or similar, multiple times, for having 50+. Usually by blokes with zero or who I've turned down. I like to point out that yes I am, bloody proud of it and disinclined to care what some random internet knob thinks. Also fun to point out that they can't even get into a slut's knickers "
Think they need to take a look at the big picture mmm they have no veries or at most a few and like you we have quite a lot - what is that telling you 
We pick and choose who we meet but are always polite and will speak to anyone whether we think they are a potential future meet or not - manners don’t cost anything! If people think anyone has got too many veries or they just don’t want to meet why not say not for me/us |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We have been told we have too many verifications but people need to understand 1 this is a swinging site, 2 we don’t just have play meets and 3 we go to a club and bump into a lot of people so often have a fair few veries from 1 night
Some people are private and discreet amd prefer to meet people with few veris or them all hidden. It's not necessarily a slur against those that have many veris.
We was told basically we’re slags and don’t have any standards! Said profile doesn’t even know us and didn’t even bother reading any of our veries or they’d of seen most were social meets, both private meets and clubs - just don’t know who they think they are! We are an honest couple and haven’t done anything to be ashamed of! We don’t display all our veries as we have quite a few from regular meets but do display how many meets we’ve had, we could lie and just display a few and not show how many meets we have had if we weren’t honest and really wanted to meet people that don’t have many but that’s just not in our nature! If people think we’ve got too many veries and don’t want to meet oh well whatever- not that bothered to be honest as we have a lot of fun anyway whether that be with other people or just us - it’s all good!"
That's a horrible thing to say but it says more about them than you. Hope you didn't let it upset you. x
I don't meet people with more than 4 veris on show, but I certainly don't think people with more are slags. We will always attract rude people no matter what we do. See it as a good thing they are so rude on mail because it means you don't have to meet them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We have been told we have too many verifications but people need to understand 1 this is a swinging site, 2 we don’t just have play meets and 3 we go to a club and bump into a lot of people so often have a fair few veries from 1 night
Some people are private and discreet amd prefer to meet people with few veris or them all hidden. It's not necessarily a slur against those that have many veris.
We was told basically we’re slags and don’t have any standards! Said profile doesn’t even know us and didn’t even bother reading any of our veries or they’d of seen most were social meets, both private meets and clubs - just don’t know who they think they are! We are an honest couple and haven’t done anything to be ashamed of! We don’t display all our veries as we have quite a few from regular meets but do display how many meets we’ve had, we could lie and just display a few and not show how many meets we have had if we weren’t honest and really wanted to meet people that don’t have many but that’s just not in our nature! If people think we’ve got too many veries and don’t want to meet oh well whatever- not that bothered to be honest as we have a lot of fun anyway whether that be with other people or just us - it’s all good!
That's a horrible thing to say but it says more about them than you. Hope you didn't let it upset you. x
I don't meet people with more than 4 veris on show, but I certainly don't think people with more are slags. We will always attract rude people no matter what we do. See it as a good thing they are so rude on mail because it means you don't have to meet them. "
We had 1 woman that basically said I’d go with anyone and I’m not choosy - cheeky bitch! She even messaged some people from our veries and told them we go with anyone and don’t play safe  blocked us but still kept bothering our friends! Reported her and then caught her out- she had unblocked us snooping our profile see if had more veries. Went on her profile sent her a sarcastic message, reported her again then blocked her! Never give her chance to reply to message and none of our friends got no bother again! I was so frustrated and annoyed and had contemplated shutting profile down but thought no not going to as done that before when we had hassle! Why should we lose contacts and start again just because someone got it in for us - we’re not the one with the problem they are! One of our contacts told us she’d put up a status saying site was shit and she was being kicked off because people being mardy made my day- got what she deserved! No need for nastiness if you don’t like someone either ignore them or block them - simple! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Some people are so small minded, childish and hypocritical that they will judge people for having too many verifications, simple, just avoid them, displaying most of our veris and the summary generally keeps the wannabes, dreamers, judgemental, idiotic and up themselves in this site from contacting us
Win, win |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We had dreamer asking to just meet me the female for an ff meet - she (more than likely a he) didn't seem to get it when said don't meet new people alone! 1st meet would of been social anyway so when she(he) put well I wouldn't bring my other half didn't even reply to them and got themselves blocked! Had a bad meet once when I met alone he was pushy begging for bareback as it's apparently safe - I think not no glove no love! Only bare back with my partner! Lucky enough my fella was only round the corner so did an sos text so he could get the creep away from me, I will never meet new people on my own again! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I haven’t got that many displayed or done, I’ve met a hell of a lot more people that haven’t veri’d me or had me leaving them a veri.
The only red flag I ever get is if they have none in which case it would be rare for me to meet them as past experience has shown 90% of them are time wasters. |
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First World swingers problems if you ask me.
I can't even get one.
So one got away. Clearly there are plenty more fish in the sea. Cast your net again and you'll forget it by the time your driving to meet your next partner.
On that note if any females fancy some high brow discussion and pant wetting banter on varying topics such as the Irish border solution, England's best starting XI, pros and Cons of collective Marxism (mainly cons) and many other relevant topics then hit me up.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"First World swingers problems if you ask me.
I can't even get one.
So one got away. Clearly there are plenty more fish in the sea. Cast your net again and you'll forget it by the time your driving to meet your next partner.
On that note if any females fancy some high brow discussion and pant wetting banter on varying topics such as the Irish border solution, England's best starting XI, pros and Cons of collective Marxism (mainly cons) and many other relevant topics then hit me up.
"
We struggled to get our first veri as we went to a club and ended up meeting newbies on here lol! Ended up going on the chat rooms on here and putting our webcam on, got chatting away to everyone and told them we couldn’t verify anyone until we had one ourselves so a few said they’d veri us and prove we were real and been seen on cam |
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In all fairness~ If you actually read through their lists,many verifs can be from social nights etc so may easily have 12+ from other social members on that same evening & if they regularly go to socials ,these then add up & when u scroll down "it appears to be 100's etc"
and some may be from webcam also,so again it would totally unfair to "assume" that the member has "fucked" dozens etc when again,they may simply have chatted on the fone or had a social coffee etc x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In all fairness~ If you actually read through their lists,many verifs can be from social nights etc so may easily have 12+ from other social members on that same evening & if they regularly go to socials ,these then add up & when u scroll down "it appears to be 100's etc"
and some may be from webcam also,so again it would totally unfair to "assume" that the member has "fucked" dozens etc when again,they may simply have chatted on the fone or had a social coffee etc x "
Can’t do phone verification anymore but the rest is spot on! We’ve been to the Derby social a couple of times (before it stopped  ) also the attic plus social meets and we like web-camming so some of our veries are multiple on same day also have a few regular meets but don’t display all of them only the most recent one. Way I see it is if someone thinks we’ve got too many veries that’s a problem their end not ours and certainly won’t be losing any sleep over it |
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"I have quite a few verifications and only show a few.I messaged a lady and she said i have too many for her to want to meet me.This if fine and her choice,i dont just meet or have sex with anyone i am choosey and like socials aswell as play meets.I was wondering what others thoughts are on the amount of verifications others have.
If you have too many verifications, maybe you could try to get rid of some?
I wish there was an option to refuse or delete them but I don't think there is. I don't ask and only got some at the start because I had to . Now i don't need them and alot are really just social. I don't want to give either as i like to keep my meets private . "
A lot of mine are social as well. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If people don’t want to show their verifications the can change each 1 to not displayed plus not show verification summary. So basically you could have 100’s of veries but no1 would know therefore them with problem of people having too many veries wouldn’t know so you would get a meet but of lied to get it .... personally I wouldn’t bother hiding our summary just to get a meet |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've been told I have too many.
18 in 5 months, so obviously I'm a slut  3 of those are play verifications, 15 are socials.
I'm friendly & I like to meet people. Some of those socials were with people that we never had any intentions of meeting for more, we just became friends & still are.
There are 2 that I had a cam chat with, just so I could help them with a verification. I can be nice...sometimes. They gave me a verification in return to say thanks, not necessary but I display them because they did happen & I'm being honest with what I'm up to on here.
Some people don't actually read the verifications. I actually have more but don't display them because the people said we met in person or cammed, when we actually never did! Why do people do that?! I was able to get 1 removed by reporting it to admin but the other 3 are still in there, so I don't show my summary.
That turned in to a bit of a rant |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's the 'quality' rather than the quantity which I'm more likely to get judgey about. Lots saying good stuff and/or sounding like we might get on will be far more appealing than a single generic, clichéd style veri for example. But they're only a small part of the decision making process for me anyway. "
This is exactly how I judge verifications. It depends on the comments and whether I can get with the nice attributes that have verified.
Quality over Quantity every time |
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