FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Clubbing for an introvert?
Clubbing for an introvert?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So, I've been here a little while now and I really want to take the next step and start visiting clubs.
The only problem is that I'm a total introvert and very socially awkward haha.
Just looking for any advice for a first timer and other people's first experiences.
What's the best way to 'break out' onto the club scene? (If there is such a thing lol).
Especially as someone that will be attending as a single female and not part of a couple.
And especially ESPECIALLY as someone that's very shy and nervous haha.
Should I find a fwb to come and hold my hand or maybe just try again in 10 years when I have a bit more experience?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Go with someone if you're that awkward socially. Not necessarily as a partner for the night. Just a friend.
Dunno though. I've never been socially awkward |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Pick a night with a party theme, or better still one that’s aimed specifically at newbies. You can attend with the confidence that you won’t be the only one feeling a tad trepidatious. At newbie nights, the club staff keep everyone chatting and ensure no-one is left out on a limb. JayDees and Townhouse both do great newbie nights as I’m sure other’s do too. |
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Find someone you can meet up with beforehand (one of the regulars at the club, perhaps a couple if that would feel less intimidating), have a drink and chat, and go on to the club together. They'll help you get signed in, show you around, and introduce you to some other people.
Every club has regulars who are friendly and helpful. If you're not sure who they are, ask the club in advance and they'll recommend someone for you to get in touch with.
You might find theme nights a bit less intimidating too - you've already got something in common to strike up a conversation about.
Last thing - try to avoid (too much) alcohol as a way of bypassing the nerves/shyness/social anxiety. It's too easy for that to tip over into having too much and making an arse of yourself (and not in a good way!) |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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This is all really helpful so far thank you all 
I think I just need to relax more about the concept, ideally I'll find someone to go with beforehand so I'm more comfortable! Maybe I'll show a friend the wonders of fab and tempt her to come with me haha. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is all really helpful so far thank you all
I think I just need to relax more about the concept, ideally I'll find someone to go with beforehand so I'm more comfortable! Maybe I'll show a friend the wonders of fab and tempt her to come with me haha."
Don’t take my advice, I was just winging it!  |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
just go with an open mind and no expectations.... but in a way i think you have to put yourself out a bit because if you are aloof and just wait on the world to come to you, i don't think you will get the best experience from a club...
so just go out there and talk to people.... it doesn't have to more than that, but all good things start out of "hello".......
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Funnily enough, i can be introvert in everyday life and clubs can be a pkace to free off all the stuff that makes us so, in the real world.
Go for it!
Though try not too drink too much on the nerves! |
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Possibly do more chatting in forums and get to know someone that could go along with you, not as fb or fwb, but just as a supportive friend? I'm guessing that with your age and gender, you get totally overwhelmed with unsolicited messages. Hence the suggestion more of you being selective to find a no-expectations friend.
Suggestions above of going on a newbie night are good also. Possibly choose one of the medium sized clubs - to small and there might be no one else there, too large and it might be overwhelming again... Polly xx |
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Theme nights are good as already mentioned as there is a basis to start conversation more easily. Some clubs have special "newbie" nights, which would be a good option. We know Chameleons look out for first timers, they will give you a tour, and where possible get a "regular" couple or single fem to babysit you for a bit so to speak. That might be introducing you to others or helping you with club etiquette. To be fair a few years ago we did the babysitting once or twice. |
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Keep a couple of club's in mind you might like to try (do your research here) and get talking to people on here about them.
When you think you've found the right person/s ask them if they would mind the company of a young, sexy, shy woman for the evening at said club....
I'd bet a lot of money they won't say no
Xxx |
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I know people have suggested going with someone else if you are socially awkward, but I would suggest the total opposite. Go alone. You don’t have to talk to anyone you don’t want to, you don’t need to apologise for it, you can do what you want and leave when you want to. I used to be ridiculously socially awkward a few years ago, but I’m not too bad now tbh. Make sure you go to a reputable club, let them know you’re alone and they’ll be there if you need help  enjoy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I went to a local club with a guy from fab. He didn’t put me under any pressure, more a social and I was amazed as I kind of expected it to be seedy but it wasn’t. We were shown around and then chatted to several people.... it was so relaxed and friendly.
The next time I went down there, I was bored out of my mind at home and thought ‘sod it, I’m going there’.
So I went alone, was driving so no alcohol and I had a great night! Lots of people (guys and gals) chatted to me and I didn’t feel awkward or pressured in the slightest.
Now I’m a regular there and have built up a network of friends that I also see at other venues so I never feel alone when I venture to pastures new.
Just go for it! You’ll be pleasantly surprised |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would find someone either your chatting to on here or someone you like the look of, man woman or couple. Try and meet them for a social first and ask them if they would mind going to a club with you.
Tend to be very relaxed places almost like a regular bar with everyone mingling and chatting. The hot tubes and saunas are good for ice breakers too.
Remember you are in control and don’t have to do anything you don’t want.
Hope you enjoy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So, I've been here a little while now and I really want to take the next step and start visiting clubs.
The only problem is that I'm a total introvert and very socially awkward haha.
Just looking for any advice for a first timer and other people's first experiences.
What's the best way to 'break out' onto the club scene? (If there is such a thing lol).
Especially as someone that will be attending as a single female and not part of a couple.
And especially ESPECIALLY as someone that's very shy and nervous haha.
Should I find a fwb to come and hold my hand or maybe just try again in 10 years when I have a bit more experience?
"
I’m exactly the same. Went to a club alone once and found it difficult as I didn’t know anyone and found it difficult to chat to people. I recommended going with someone else as you’ll have someone to chat to etc. There are no shortage of guys on here who I’m sure will be up for going with you.  x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m just the same, been trying to rack up the courage to go now go months! Everyone says they’re so friendly and I’m sure they are it’s just breaking into that ‘first time’
If you’re ever Birmingham way let me know and we can go together as two slightly awkward/nervous single girls lol x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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hi, looking at your interest list including petplay, dom/sub and ddlg we are thinking you maybe more at home on the fetish scene where there are specific events, plus some are held in swingers clubs. Long way from Yorkshire but there is enough happening in Birmingham to keep you happy most weekends
feel free to message, we do kink big time lol
xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would recommend you go with a friend for your forest visits. They can be daunting and very awkward. I've been as a single fem and been ignored most of the night, not even a smile received (and no I don't look like shrek or the honey monster).
You also need to have your wits about you when playing as single women are an easy target for some unrespectful men.
But go with a friend, who will suppport you, care for you and let you have a good time, and you should have a great time. |
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