FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Is there anything wrong with me??
Is there anything wrong with me??
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hi everyone,
I'm on this website for a certain amount of time now and I start to wonder if there is anything wrong with my profile...
I mean, I'm not pushy, definitely not a perv (maybe it is actually what's wrong),a cool person to get along with,and I never started a message by "fancy a fuck"... Although, except once, I never managed to meet anyone.
SO I wonder : am I too young? Or ugly maybe?(please, let me know so i can stop living in my little world where I think I'm looking fairly good)
Can you give me some advices please? |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
Love your pics, although a couple more might help. You have lots of detail, maybe too much. You profile jumps around a bit, especially with who you want to meet. Try small paragraphs with who you are, what you like, and what you're looking for. The fact you share a house would be a problem because most people on here are getting too old to have pillows over their faces when they make too much noise (ah, university halls memories coming back), and you will be too young for a lot of people on here.
However, if it helps, I think you're gorgeous and, if you were closer, would be interested. Maybe try a social or club. There are several clubs in your area and I think a social is coming up soon.
Hope that helps. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Your profile is nice and detailed about what you are looking for abs what you can offer.so full marks there. Maybe a few more pics on profile might help. From what I can see you look like a good looking guy so make the most of it. You might be too young for some but not others. I suspect your problem is more to do with the sheer numbers of single guys on here compared to couples and single ladies. Persevere and I'm sure you'll be fine. Good luck ms |
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By *DSRMan
over a year ago
leicester |
I have a very negative out look about thease things... I generally believe you will either spend years on here and if your lucky get 1 meet, or you'll get a million meets a day (type thing) and i don't believe that editing your profile, changing your email content, or adding new pictures... Will help!
i have used a pay site recently, where i tested the waters with alot of stuff... pictures, various emails etc. nothing helped.
I think the best thing you can hope for is to find your place... If you don't rock in emails, masybe on the chat system here you'll fit in better and shine more? or maybe on the forum... I find forums help me stand out more, but don't help with my emails etc!!!
It's difficult to actually show your real personality, and your persona via emails, i don't think that people are percieved as they really are in real life via emails, if they were i believe i'd do pretty well!
just a different outlook to consider
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks for all these replies...
Well, at least, reading that i'm not ugly is definitely positive!!
I think I'll just have to use my camera in the next couple of days and rewrite my profile a little... Easy!!
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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True fact : the only meet I had was via the chat.
Thankfully, if it doesn't work for me here, well, whatever... I'm not desperately looking for sex, anyway(if only it was the case for everyone in here!!)
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i find your profile quite immature...which given your age may be putting some off.As wryd says it does jump around,goes into details about your cock i would prefer to find out for myself,has a stream of consciousness feel to it.
The pics are good though,and there is the making of a good profile.
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By *ohjaneCouple
over a year ago
south staffs |
Sorry John, You have been on my "must find time to send a message" list for several months, but sadly so far I have not found the time.
Your new face picture is nice, but as I like lots of hair I would not mind if you were more like the darker picture.
Jane x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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sorry but every day there is one of these threads.
single guys, you are in a huge majority on this site, so unless you have some thing special to offer then your not going to get much interest, unfair i know but a fact.
thre isnt much you can do but go to socials and get known
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I'll try to reply to everyone :
jemima : I know my profile looks pretty immature, but after all, I'm young and I am as I am... Can't do anything about it!
_ohjane : My hair are growing a bit longer atm, so if you want to see the result, drop me a few lines
swingerdelight : I'm not pretentious enough to say I'm an outstanding man (some said that but they had feelings so...), so i'm not sure I'm the best guy in here. However, I know what I want and if it matches what some other people want, why not? Thankfully, I'm not in here to "shag girls easily".
Tobleton : Glad to see a cinephiliac in here!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i dont think you need to say your not vwe when your 6" just take it out (the paragraph not your nob! lol), and the non hairy bit take out too and just add it in the phsyically part simply your shaven there.
take out all of the what im not looking for, profiles with negatives on arnt really good at attracting the right women. and moaning about having to pay for dates or not wanting a relationship dont sound all that good either. it might be the truth, but people know you want no strings fun its a swinging site and the paying for dates element does not even come into things.
alot of stuff kinda contradicts its self like you saying you dont really want something but might want it, such as bbw/older women, sensual fuck not like animals but do like it wild sometimes. your asking for profile help so i imagine your not fighting the women off with a stick, so maybe id drop that you dont want bbw/older women, as it sounds like some you want, after all if you dont like them you wont meet them will you? and someone you might not consider a bbw or that old maybe put off thinking they dont want to be rejected when they have guys they know they can take up on their offer. i'd also take out the contridiction on liking it wild etc, just say what you like and could say but open to other ideas
your age probs dont do you many favours with people over 30 and most couples, but that cant be helped, and a few verifications of good quality meets should help that. i think you will struggle if you hide your verifications also, as it does raise a suspicion who verified you, it could be a man for example.
I'd change that avatar photo as well, its pretty bad when small you cannot make out anything on my computer, where the other two are decent photos and you got decent looks so use one of your better pictures as the other might not be getting people to view your profile as much as they would.
just my thoughts |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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its a decent profile still, its probs ur age, & choice of avatar picture thats holding you back the most, as well as hidden verification.
my points are just ways that could help cut down clutter in your profile and change a few things that might stop someone from replying to you who you may be interested in! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Good advice from Robbie. You're a good looking guy so put some decent pics up and definitely change the profile pic as it just looks like a dark blob on here. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Ok about the profile pic...
Some good advices from you robbie (especially about all the paragraph about my cock!!)
I thought the "what I'm not lookin for" part would be useful to enphasize on the fact I'm not desperately looking for sex (unlike most of the single men here)
But I guess there is a misunderstanding : when I said "paid for the other men", it meant that i suffer from the mistakes of all the douches and timewasters!!
And about the verification : is there a way to have it back when the person who left if left the site? Because I never decided to hide it...
though, thanks for the advices : in the end, I'll probably manage to have a perfect profile  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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yeah that pic is much better, and if someone left then guess that what it shows like that, i always thought they disapear if someone closes the account but guess it leaves you verified as well.
another good tip is to only really message people when they are online, think of the times as well when people might want guys short notice, if your on them times you might find your the best option for them so get asked to play too.
ive had a bit of joy coming on after a night out or if i stayed in on a weekend just keeping tabs and seeing whos online, drop the hey how are you doing, upto much? message, it gives em a chance to say if they are looking tonight or if they want to tell you about maybe a night out or something they had if they not looking, but these times are good for other reasons, usually people are in the mood or with their partners, so if your looking to play with a couple then its a good time as ive had times when they havent wanted to play that night but have during the week , same with some girls. but sometimes you score when they want you to come over
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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i know that : I always try to get in touch with people already online... And also only people who are looking for "me". I mean, if I'm not in one of their criteria (age, orientation, cock size...) I just don't bother sending a mail.
If only everyone in here was following the "rules"  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi everyone,
I'm on this website for a certain amount of time now and I start to wonder if there is anything wrong with my profile...
I mean, I'm not pushy, definitely not a perv (maybe it is actually what's wrong),a cool person to get along with,and I never started a message by "fancy a fuck"... Although, except once, I never managed to meet anyone.
SO I wonder : am I too young? Or ugly maybe?(please, let me know so i can stop living in my little world where I think I'm looking fairly good)
Can you give me some advices please? "
Yes. Your too cultured, too good looking, too intelligent and are too continental.
I hate you for it  but lots of the women will love ya by the same measure
Isnt xenophobia wonderful. Welcome to the forums, get involved. Its fun!
x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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What?? Are you saying I'm intelligent, good looking and cultured?? So much xenophobia makes me sick!!
I really hope women will like it!
And thanks for you warm welcome : people seems more interesting and less scary (just my opinion) here than on the chat or in some profiles |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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it dont really matter what others do if they are just spamming then its not like they are taking up the opertunity to have fun with them, they are just getting themselves blocked.
just means you have to have a little something to stand out from all them people |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What?? Are you saying I'm intelligent, good looking and cultured?? So much xenophobia makes me sick!!
I really hope women will like it!
And thanks for you warm welcome : people seems more interesting and less scary (just my opinion) here than on the chat or in some profiles"
No probs fella the more the merrier for me :D
Been to any socials yet?
x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
Been to any socials yet?
x"
No, not yet. Met somebody once thanks to this site, but bigger socials are hard to find, especially for a single straight man. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Been to any socials yet?
x
No, not yet. Met somebody once thanks to this site, but bigger socials are hard to find, especially for a single straight man. "
Well keep an eye out, think a manchester one was posted further up for you, brilliant idea me thinks!! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Well keep an eye out, think a manchester one was posted further up for you, brilliant idea me thinks!!"
Saw it : march seems to be a bit far to plan though.... Who knows where I'll be at this time of the year?? |
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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago
Cyprus |
"Well keep an eye out, think a manchester one was posted further up for you, brilliant idea me thinks!!
Saw it : march seems to be a bit far to plan though.... Who knows where I'll be at this time of the year??"
Make the effort, travel and come to the Pussy Posse Xmas Bash at Chameleons in Birmingham on Sunday 4th Dec (take the Monday off)
You would be very welcome, you would certainly get verifications and alot of the forumites and chat room users will be there.
Up to you, but let me know. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Make the effort, travel and come to the Pussy Posse Xmas Bash at Chameleons in Birmingham on Sunday 4th Dec (take the Monday off)"
Unfortunately, I can't really take some days off during the week due to dome work commitment (damn you, rent and bills to be paid for making impossible some nice meets!!)
But it makes me think about a question : is it easy for a single man to get inside a swingers club and meet some people? I mean, are there not 90 men for 3 women? And how does the approach works? (Sorry if it sounds very naive  ) |
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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago
Cyprus |
"Make the effort, travel and come to the Pussy Posse Xmas Bash at Chameleons in Birmingham on Sunday 4th Dec (take the Monday off)
Unfortunately, I can't really take some days off during the week due to dome work commitment (damn you, rent and bills to be paid for making impossible some nice meets!!)
But it makes me think about a question : is it easy for a single man to get inside a swingers club and meet some people? I mean, are there not 90 men for 3 women? And how does the approach works? (Sorry if it sounds very naive )"
There are plenty of people who travel for a Posse party and travel back. South Manchester is only couple of hours and it would be well worth it.
It isn't easy for a single bloke and on certain nights it can be become a bun fight. However, a decent club will never admit more single men than is required by the amout of couples/single females already in there.
You would be better of trying to go as a couple or going to a social, standing out as a nice, respectable and ready to listen to the rules blokey and you would probably be able to get a membership based on that.
If you are only after single women, or 1 on 1, some clubs may be ok, but most will always cater for the couples. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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i'll have a think about it then... But as I said : work commitment son't make it easy (I guess plenty of people are in the same case)
Well, I always respect the rules (good boy  ) so I dont see why there would be a problem except a bit of competition!
though, the social idea seems to be a great one!
i'm not especially looking for some 1on1... I mean, I know it's not what to look for in a swingers club. If I'm going to a club is to help some couple having fun while having some too!! |
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By *DSRMan
over a year ago
leicester |
how come when i ask these questiions no one replies?
anyway, i'd be very happy if you'd consider emailing me if you find a change of profile and picture changes helps inanyway at all... If you find the time
us men need not struggle alone!
safe |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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ADSR I'll reply to you! Profile text looks ok to me and nice face pics but the pic where you've got your fist in the air looks a bit aggressive at first glance. Am sure it's not but most profiles just get a few seconds glance. Ms |
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By *DSRMan
over a year ago
leicester |
"ADSR I'll reply to you! Profile text looks ok to me and nice face pics but the pic where you've got your fist in the air looks a bit aggressive at first glance. Am sure it's not but most profiles just get a few seconds glance. Ms"
thanks, that's all a man needs to know (a womans touch goes a long way) i think i might delete that picture x very big THANKS xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"What is that dribbling out of the corner of your mouth on your avatar pic?? lol"
Never noticed that (never had a look at this picture in such a close up)!!
Nah, it's just a xmas tinsel... Note to myself : never use a christmas picture!! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I want to warmly thank everyone for all the advices you gave me : since I changed my profile, I started to, obviously, get the attention of a lot of people!!
Don't brag about it, but you're damn good!!  |
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if you're interested in trying clubs can i suggest la chambre in sheffield. Its very friendly and welcoming and nice sociable single guys are always welcome. Just don't join the pack! Talk to people at the bar just as you would in a pub. Introduce yourself to anyone who seems interesting and fun - you may not want to play with them, but who knows who they will introduce you to or mention you to! Too many single guys only hover round the people they want to play with but bottle it when it comes to saying hello!  And by the end of the night all they get to do is traipse round and watch and never get invited in. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Good for you for asking for advice and actually doing something with it!! I'm sure you'll do well on here. Ms"
Well, I'm inundated with winks and got some lovely messages so I guess I'm doing well!
And what would be the point asking for advices if I wasn't following them?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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this site is a waste of time for gen swingers we would say go to a swingers club its the best way .good luck if it helps my wife would fuck the ass of you if you was at a club in the midlands |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
the thing about threads like this... is as well meant as it is... the profile isn't really "his" anymore....
he puts stuff in for one crowd, he takes stuff out for another crowd....
is it about "him" anymore.. or is it really about trying to attract as many people as possible for as little effort as is necessary.....
it is just generalised, it is generic...
sorry... those guys who get it don't worry about profile, a profile will be about them, in there own words, and will make there own mistakes without asking others how...
spoonfed... sorry... it is...
how much of this do we now know is "him".....
sorry.... may seem harsh... but this is why I am fan of people finding out and rectifying themselves..... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"the thing about threads like this... is as well meant as it is... the profile isn't really "his" anymore....
he puts stuff in for one crowd, he takes stuff out for another crowd....
is it about "him" anymore.. or is it really about trying to attract as many people as possible for as little effort as is necessary.....
it is just generalised, it is generic...
sorry... those guys who get it don't worry about profile, a profile will be about them, in there own words, and will make there own mistakes without asking others how...
spoonfed... sorry... it is...
how much of this do we now know is "him".....
sorry.... may seem harsh... but this is why I am fan of people finding out and rectifying themselves..... "
This profile is still about "me", as you said.... It's just a written in a way that will attract more people! The core (what I want, who I am) is still the same...
I'm not trying to get some more meet by being different : this would be sad and probably not efficient!! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"this site is a waste of time for gen swingers we would say go to a swingers club its the best way .good luck if it helps my wife would fuck the ass of you if you was at a club in the midlands"
Well, not such a waste of time as it starts to work for me!
But i'll think about it if I go in the midlands! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Good for you for asking for advice and actually doing something with it!! I'm sure you'll do well on here. Ms
Well, I'm inundated with winks and got some lovely messages so I guess I'm doing well!
And what would be the point asking for advices if I wasn't following them??"
Because, like _abio has said earlier, your profile has now been written by half the site. What is the point of it. People want to meet you.
The people you have taken advice off and have changed your profile to fit what they want - im assuming they are all going to meet you now then?
Write what you want about you, put what pics you want up, doesnt matter what anyone else likes. If you are struggling to write half a page of text about yourself, how are you going to hold up on a meet.
I saw the continental thread. Lots of people trying to talk french on there. That seems to be your selling point. Loads of single guys on here, not that many with a sexy French accent. If you got yourself to a social and spoke to ladies, some of them would play with you I bet. Because you have something different there.
Swinging is everything you want it to be. But you have to make it work for yourself.
You're doing well up to now. Youve put two threads up and people have looked at your profile, they wouldnt have done otherwise. Get messaging, mention the accent, try and get to a club or a social. No point saying I cant go cos I cant get time off work, be proactive - fun wont come to you sitting on your backside in front of a pc screen.
good luck x  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Because like _abio has said earlier, your profile has now been written by half the site. What is the point of it. People want to meet you.
The people you have taken advice off and have changed your profile to fit what they want - im assuming they are all going to meet you now then?
Write what you want about you, put what pics you want up, doesnt matter what anyone else likes. If you are struggling to write half a page of text about yourself, how are you going to hold up on a meet.
I saw the continental thread. Lots of people trying to talk french on there. That seems to be your selling point. Loads of single guys on here, not that many with a sexy French accent. If you got yourself to a social and spoke to ladies, some of them would play with you I bet. Because you have something different there.
Swinging is everything you want it to be. But you have to make it work for yourself.
You're doing well up to now. Youve put two threads up and people have looked at your profile, they wouldnt have done otherwise. Get messaging, mention the accent, try and get to a club or a social. No point saying I cant go cos I cant get time off work, be proactive - fun wont come to you sitting on your backside in front of a pc screen.
good luck x "
and as I said, it's still me!! the core informations (what I like, who i am) are still there, a lot of the things I was saying before are still there, the pics are the same. I just took advices in order to highlight and make more attractive these things!! It's a bit like a cv actually : you can spend ages without getting any job because of a bad cv, despite the fact the person it describes is good. My profile just needed some "aesthetic" advices!
I'm definitely not struggling to write half a page about myself. actually, that was the point for many people : my previous profile was a long "novel" and it was, obviously, putting off many people.
And I took the good advices, left behind those I considered as irrelevant and made my own little mixture with all this : I guess this profile never been so "me", to be fair!
I've got to confess : no, swinging is not "everything I want to be". It's a good way to have fun, but I wouldn't be desperate if it wasn't working for me. Though, I'm trying to do the right things in order for me to work!
And about the clubs : I don't know, I feel I'm still a bit shy for it... I guess I'm not ready yet to go on my own! Just remember your first time
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My post wasn't an attack at you, please don't think it was.
I don't see the point of taking advice about a profile. What is the point of asking what kind of pictures others like to see, who cares what they want to see, its about you and what you want, what you're looking for.
Most ladies say nice bum pic or nice chest pic - so what do we have, a site full of bottom pics of guys. Can you distinguish one from the other - I can't.
But the guys who know what their selling point is, what makes them stand out from a crowd, will use that and they are successful. It might be they are artistic, so there pictures maybe reflect that, they may be funny, their profile text and forum posts will reflect that.
Just be you, you can't be all things to everyone. If you want that long profile text, put it back in.
Honestly I can tell you that the advice and changes others want you to put it won't make a jot of difference to how many meets you get.
But being individual may.
The forums are a great way to get noticed and looked at - and you're doing well so far. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"My post wasn't an attack at you, please don't think it was.
I don't see the point of taking advice about a profile. What is the point of asking what kind of pictures others like to see, who cares what they want to see, its about you and what you want, what you're looking for.
Most ladies say nice bum pic or nice chest pic - so what do we have, a site full of bottom pics of guys. Can you distinguish one from the other - I can't.
But the guys who know what their selling point is, what makes them stand out from a crowd, will use that and they are successful. It might be they are artistic, so there pictures maybe reflect that, they may be funny, their profile text and forum posts will reflect that.
Just be you, you can't be all things to everyone. If you want that long profile text, put it back in.
Honestly I can tell you that the advice and changes others want you to put it won't make a jot of difference to how many meets you get.
But being individual may.
The forums are a great way to get noticed and looked at - and you're doing well so far. "
Don't worry? i've never taken it as an attack : in a way, what you're doing is giving me advices just like the others did before I was just defending my point of view.
My point of view being : I didn't need to change who I am to have more meets, I didn't change it and I never will.
What I wanted was to highlight my qualities and who I am... and for that I needed some advices!
The result is, with the same things written (expressed in a different way though) and the same pictures, I managed to get more replies and meets in one week that I ever had in 6 months.
But after all, the reason why I ask so many questions on the forum is, of course to have people's opinion, but also to make myself noticed... And as you said, it seems to work
Anyway, thanks for your opinion. and don't worry, nobody will ever change who I am |
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