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Gulp, this could be painful
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Not having much luck on here to be honest
I message lady’s who fit what I’m looking for and ones that I feel in their profile are after what I can offer.
But I hardly get a message back (yes another gripe as it grates that they don’t even offer up a ‘no thanks’ or even ‘are you having a laugh’ but don’t wish to get into this debate in the thread).
So with this in mind, any profil tips please, photos, words anything I need to change delete or add?
Please try and keep things polite and constructive and be gentle 
HG |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well I have just perused your profile in stealth mode  ....... it reads very well and your pictures are very easy on the eye too ( purrrrrrrr ) I just think you need to relax...... there’s nothing wrong other than simply the male/female ratio on here. Good luck  |
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"Hi op
Good pics and a decent profile
Only thing I'd say is to get rid of the bit about men mailing.
I'm not sure why you're not getting replies ,sorry that's not much help !
Miss"
Agreed. You've blocked men so you don't need it. |
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"Hi op
Good pics and a decent profile
Only thing I'd say is to get rid of the bit about men mailing.
I'm not sure why you're not getting replies ,sorry that's not much help !
Miss"
Agreed. I’d definitely reply, even if you’re a good distance away!
Also agree about taking that bit out 
Good luck xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Your profile and photos are fine, better than the majority and you've had 6 meets so not sure what the issue is? Plenty of people who post similar threads have been here a while with no meets. |
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"The ambiguous 'wedding ring' would make it a no from me. But other than that it isn't an off-putting profile. "
Yeah. I think he should just state that he's married so those who need to know, know. |
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"Looking for discreet fun" "discreet and expect the same in return". I find someone asking for discretion offputting.
I suggest you remove the reference to hanging around with fruit as well as asking men not to contact you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not having much luck on here to be honest
I message lady’s who fit what I’m looking for and ones that I feel in their profile are after what I can offer.
But I hardly get a message back (yes another gripe as it grates that they don’t even offer up a ‘no thanks’ or even ‘are you having a laugh’ but don’t wish to get into this debate in the thread).
So with this in mind, any profil tips please, photos, words anything I need to change delete or add?
Please try and keep things polite and constructive and be gentle
HG"
All but the most recent of your picture are old and out of date. Time to take some new ones perhaps.
Other than stating the obvious ie, clean, fresh, discreet, your bio says very little of interest. Inline with the old pics, we'd pass on by.
Poppy
Ps, thinking you have the right to get a reply to a message you send is a stinker of an attitude. You don't. People not replying doesnt make then rude. |
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Many thanks everyone, I don’t agree with all your comments but it’s interesting to hear all the same and I appreciate you all responding.
It would be a boring place if we were all the same I guess
HG |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Agree about the comments about men, you don't need it, if you've blocked them.
If you messaged with more then hi, fancy a fuck, how are you etc... I'd reply. No idea why you're not getting replies, maybe it's the message you're sending rather than you or your profile.
Good luck x |
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"Agree about the comments about men, you don't need it, if you've blocked them.
If you messaged with more then hi, fancy a fuck, how are you etc... I'd reply. No idea why you're not getting replies, maybe it's the message you're sending rather than you or your profile.
Good luck x"
I always send a polite well thought and respectful message, referencing something in their profile that caught my eye and how it would be lovey to chat some more. But very few replies. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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the profile is ok..but as others have said, the comment about replies is unecessary as well as the comment to guys...if you've bocked them there's no reason to include it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Agree about the comments about men, you don't need it, if you've blocked them.
If you messaged with more then hi, fancy a fuck, how are you etc... I'd reply. No idea why you're not getting replies, maybe it's the message you're sending rather than you or your profile.
Good luck x
I always send a polite well thought and respectful message, referencing something in their profile that caught my eye and how it would be lovey to chat some more. But very few replies."
No idea then. You know the odds are against you fellas anyway, don't take it personally. I find that the forums are a better place to find people to chat with anyqay, majority of my meets are fantastically fab forum friends  |
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"Agree about the comments about men, you don't need it, if you've blocked them.
If you messaged with more then hi, fancy a fuck, how are you etc... I'd reply. No idea why you're not getting replies, maybe it's the message you're sending rather than you or your profile.
Good luck x
I always send a polite well thought and respectful message, referencing something in their profile that caught my eye and how it would be lovey to chat some more. But very few replies.
No idea then. You know the odds are against you fellas anyway, don't take it personally. I find that the forums are a better place to find people to chat with anyqay, majority of my meets are fantastically fab forum friends "
Haha unfortunately forums having been fruitless too... |
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"the profile is ok..but as others have said, the comment about replies is unecessary as well as the comment to guys...if you've bocked them there's no reason to include it."
Noted, but can I ask, as a lady, why would a comment about ‘no mesages from guys’ put you off ?
Thanks
X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"the profile is ok..but as others have said, the comment about replies is unecessary as well as the comment to guys...if you've bocked them there's no reason to include it.
Noted, but can I ask, as a lady, why would a comment about ‘no mesages from guys’ put you off ?
Thanks
X"
for me, its not the fact that you don't want men messaging you, it's the fact that if you have them blocked already there's no reason to put that comment on at all. |
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Lose the bit about men in your profile.
For me your cock pics would put me off totally as would the tool belt and the toilet in the background.
Also the beard wouldn’t attract me but some women like them.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You had a meet in early March according to your verifications. Perhaps if you alter your expectations about the frequency of meets you’ll find the site more satisfying. It’s unlikely you’re going to be meeting someone new every couple of weeks. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To the OP - this site is a numbers game, and it's also massively dictated by timing.
On average you can send say 10 well thought out messages, to people within range (distance) that you feel you're genuinely attracted to, and have enough in common with based on both your profiles, and out of that 10 about 4 will never be read, 3 will be deleted instantly, 2 will be read and ignored and 1 will get a reply (if the timing is right).
The above is all changeable obviously, but you get the idea.
Timing is the key thing, as much as attraction, and remember that just because you (me/we) think you're an attractive proposition, doesn't always mean a positive response, or indeed any response at all.
Example: I've messaged people and that message has never been read, then I messaged them again several months later, it's been read, replied to, we chatted, met and then become both friends and play friends. So, timing. |
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The only thing I would say is proofread. Read out loud and put a few full stops in.
Send me a message as if you were looking to meet (just to make it clear, not interested).
If you don't want guys to message you, put the filter on. |
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"You had a meet in early March according to your verifications. Perhaps if you alter your expectations about the frequency of meets you’ll find the site more satisfying. It’s unlikely you’re going to be meeting someone new every couple of weeks. "
Yes two months ago, before that 2 years and before that 2yrs, my diary isn’t exactly bursting at the seems tbh. But maybe you’re right, I excpect too much, thank you x |
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"The only thing I would say is proofread. Read out loud and put a few full stops in.
Send me a message as if you were looking to meet (just to make it clear, not interested).
If you don't want guys to message you, put the filter on."
Yes I have spotted a few grammatical errors in there, must try harder thank you x |
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"Can you hear me, Clem Fandango?
It seems the married point does not want to be addressed!!"
Happy to address anything. Yes I’m married as many are , I don’t believe there are any rules against that? Thanks x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can you hear me, Clem Fandango?
It seems the married point does not want to be addressed!!
Happy to address anything. Yes I’m married as many are , I don’t believe there are any rules against that? Thanks x"
no but it might be an idea to say that rather than ignoring it. many people would rather have the information upfront, then they can make their own decision. |
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"Can you hear me, Clem Fandango?
It seems the married point does not want to be addressed!!
Happy to address anything. Yes I’m married as many are , I don’t believe there are any rules against that? Thanks x"
Maybe your expectations of the site are too high. Most women on here are looking for regular. Meeting a man who already has a wife (and, in some cases, children) would be difficult because there is another complication to add in. |
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"Can you hear me, Clem Fandango?
It seems the married point does not want to be addressed!!
Happy to address anything. Yes I’m married as many are , I don’t believe there are any rules against that? Thanks x
no but it might be an idea to say that rather than ignoring it. many people would rather have the information upfront, then they can make their own decision."
Do I have to be like everyone else? I don’t ignore it, there’s a picture clearly showing a wedding ring, I choose to ask for discretion, as I like being discreet, thank you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I like the pictures, but as others have said, the need for "discretion" would lead me to assume you're married and playing away. If you choose not to make it clear whether that's the case or not in your profile, then really you can't be surprised if people choose to not engage in questions about that if you message. It would be an immediate red flag for me. Plenty of people do meet those who are playing away, others don't. Being clear will help you, in my opinion. |
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"Can you hear me, Clem Fandango?
It seems the married point does not want to be addressed!!
Happy to address anything. Yes I’m married as many are , I don’t believe there are any rules against that? Thanks x
Maybe your expectations of the site are too high. Most women on here are looking for regular. Meeting a man who already has a wife (and, in some cases, children) would be difficult because there is another complication to add in."
Yes someone mentioned expectations earlier, maybe that’s correct and for me to manage. Plenty of married people on here playing all with various reasons and permissions
Thanks |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can you hear me, Clem Fandango?
It seems the married point does not want to be addressed!!
Happy to address anything. Yes I’m married as many are , I don’t believe there are any rules against that? Thanks x
no but it might be an idea to say that rather than ignoring it. many people would rather have the information upfront, then they can make their own decision.
Do I have to be like everyone else? I don’t ignore it, there’s a picture clearly showing a wedding ring, I choose to ask for discretion, as I like being discreet, thank you"
you are exactly like many others..repeated mention of 'discretion' is usually a flag! it's usually pretty obvious when someone is married from their profile, but neglecting to mention it is a bit counter productive. give people the choice of making up their own minds. |
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"Can you hear me, Clem Fandango?
It seems the married point does not want to be addressed!!
Happy to address anything. Yes I’m married as many are , I don’t believe there are any rules against that? Thanks x
Maybe your expectations of the site are too high. Most women on here are looking for regular. Meeting a man who already has a wife (and, in some cases, children) would be difficult because there is another complication to add in.
Yes someone mentioned expectations earlier, maybe that’s correct and for me to manage. Plenty of married people on here playing all with various reasons and permissions
Thanks "
There are lots of married men on here and they get meets. Some women like that because they will expect nothing. Why should people judge the OP. He hasn’t asked for that. Also there is no rule saying married men can’t be on this site. Just saying  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can you hear me, Clem Fandango?
It seems the married point does not want to be addressed!!
Happy to address anything. Yes I’m married as many are , I don’t believe there are any rules against that? Thanks x
Maybe your expectations of the site are too high. Most women on here are looking for regular. Meeting a man who already has a wife (and, in some cases, children) would be difficult because there is another complication to add in.
Yes someone mentioned expectations earlier, maybe that’s correct and for me to manage. Plenty of married people on here playing all with various reasons and permissions
Thanks
There are lots of married men on here and they get meets. Some women like that because they will expect nothing. Why should people judge the OP. He hasn’t asked for that. Also there is no rule saying married men can’t be on this site. Just saying "
so far no one has 'judged', but he asked for pointers...and one is to be clearer as many people prefer to make up their own minds. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can you hear me, Clem Fandango?
It seems the married point does not want to be addressed!!
Happy to address anything. Yes I’m married as many are , I don’t believe there are any rules against that? Thanks x
Maybe your expectations of the site are too high. Most women on here are looking for regular. Meeting a man who already has a wife (and, in some cases, children) would be difficult because there is another complication to add in.
Yes someone mentioned expectations earlier, maybe that’s correct and for me to manage. Plenty of married people on here playing all with various reasons and permissions
Thanks
There are lots of married men on here and they get meets. Some women like that because they will expect nothing. Why should people judge the OP. He hasn’t asked for that. Also there is no rule saying married men can’t be on this site. Just saying "
The whole point of this post was the OP asking to be judged!
I've given an opinion as to why he maybe isn't as successful as he expects to be. The morality of that wasn't in question!
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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago
Hillside desolate |
"Can you hear me, Clem Fandango?
It seems the married point does not want to be addressed!!
Happy to address anything. Yes I’m married as many are , I don’t believe there are any rules against that? Thanks x
Maybe your expectations of the site are too high. Most women on here are looking for regular. Meeting a man who already has a wife (and, in some cases, children) would be difficult because there is another complication to add in.
Yes someone mentioned expectations earlier, maybe that’s correct and for me to manage. Plenty of married people on here playing all with various reasons and permissions
Thanks "
You asked why you don't get many replies. The wedding ring is probably the answer, it's why I wouldn't reply. You mentioned "permissions" above, if you have permission then state this in your profile text. Other than that, your profile and pics are generally pretty good. |
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"Can you hear me, Clem Fandango?
It seems the married point does not want to be addressed!!
Happy to address anything. Yes I’m married as many are , I don’t believe there are any rules against that? Thanks x
Maybe your expectations of the site are too high. Most women on here are looking for regular. Meeting a man who already has a wife (and, in some cases, children) would be difficult because there is another complication to add in.
Yes someone mentioned expectations earlier, maybe that’s correct and for me to manage. Plenty of married people on here playing all with various reasons and permissions
Thanks
There are lots of married men on here and they get meets. Some women like that because they will expect nothing. Why should people judge the OP. He hasn’t asked for that. Also there is no rule saying married men can’t be on this site. Just saying
The whole point of this post was the OP asking to be judged!
I've given an opinion as to why he maybe isn't as successful as he expects to be. The morality of that wasn't in question!
"
OP asked for advice on his profile and yes why he isn’t getting meets but the cheating always has to come out in the forums and it’s rather judgemental. It’s no one’s business why OP chooses to be here. People judge too quickly IMO. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can you hear me, Clem Fandango?
It seems the married point does not want to be addressed!!
Happy to address anything. Yes I’m married as many are , I don’t believe there are any rules against that? Thanks x
Maybe your expectations of the site are too high. Most women on here are looking for regular. Meeting a man who already has a wife (and, in some cases, children) would be difficult because there is another complication to add in.
Yes someone mentioned expectations earlier, maybe that’s correct and for me to manage. Plenty of married people on here playing all with various reasons and permissions
Thanks
There are lots of married men on here and they get meets. Some women like that because they will expect nothing. Why should people judge the OP. He hasn’t asked for that. Also there is no rule saying married men can’t be on this site. Just saying
The whole point of this post was the OP asking to be judged!
I've given an opinion as to why he maybe isn't as successful as he expects to be. The morality of that wasn't in question!
OP asked for advice on his profile and yes why he isn’t getting meets but the cheating always has to come out in the forums and it’s rather judgemental. It’s no one’s business why OP chooses to be here. People judge too quickly IMO. "
I cannot see any replies where the OP has been judged on his morals. But it is a fact that many won't want to meet someone who is playing away from home, and that the OP will probably have more luck by being transparent about that to seek out those who are comfortable in that position. Everyone has a right to know what they're getting in to in choosing to meet someone. It's a likely cause of why some messages are not being replied to. He asked the question, he got one very likely reason. I see no drama here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can you hear me, Clem Fandango?
It seems the married point does not want to be addressed!!
Happy to address anything. Yes I’m married as many are , I don’t believe there are any rules against that? Thanks x
Maybe your expectations of the site are too high. Most women on here are looking for regular. Meeting a man who already has a wife (and, in some cases, children) would be difficult because there is another complication to add in.
Yes someone mentioned expectations earlier, maybe that’s correct and for me to manage. Plenty of married people on here playing all with various reasons and permissions
Thanks
There are lots of married men on here and they get meets. Some women like that because they will expect nothing. Why should people judge the OP. He hasn’t asked for that. Also there is no rule saying married men can’t be on this site. Just saying
The whole point of this post was the OP asking to be judged!
I've given an opinion as to why he maybe isn't as successful as he expects to be. The morality of that wasn't in question!
OP asked for advice on his profile and yes why he isn’t getting meets but the cheating always has to come out in the forums and it’s rather judgemental. It’s no one’s business why OP chooses to be here. People judge too quickly IMO. "
I can't see where the OP has actually been accused of cheating. I myself have a preference to not meet attached men whether they have permission of not. That is MY choice.
The OP has asked for advice as to why he isn't getting replies he is expecting. This is one of the reasons and people have actually given advice as to how he can mitigate against that. |
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"I gave him the knowledge of my experience, but he completely ignored my post."
Apologies I missed it amongst the mud slinging, but yes agree it’s a numbers game, I know that, was merely asking for a few pointers on my profile, but such as always in the forums you get incredible people who can read a post and help the person asking for help, and there are the others who see a request for help as ‘ok how can I morally take the high ground’ which kinda misses the point.
The fact of my marital status of course would be mentioned to any potential meets, and before any meet.
And being married, seeing in a profile words such as discretion doesn’t take huge brain power to see what it truly means, i don’t believe many are confused by that. Will be I willing to listen to someone who is married and playing and their reasons for it, absolutely, but I pride myself on being open minded. Shame we all aren’t. |
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"Can you hear me, Clem Fandango?
It seems the married point does not want to be addressed!!
Happy to address anything. Yes I’m married as many are , I don’t believe there are any rules against that? Thanks x
Maybe your expectations of the site are too high. Most women on here are looking for regular. Meeting a man who already has a wife (and, in some cases, children) would be difficult because there is another complication to add in.
Yes someone mentioned expectations earlier, maybe that’s correct and for me to manage. Plenty of married people on here playing all with various reasons and permissions
Thanks
There are lots of married men on here and they get meets. Some women like that because they will expect nothing. Why should people judge the OP. He hasn’t asked for that. Also there is no rule saying married men can’t be on this site. Just saying
The whole point of this post was the OP asking to be judged!
I've given an opinion as to why he maybe isn't as successful as he expects to be. The morality of that wasn't in question!
OP asked for advice on his profile and yes why he isn’t getting meets but the cheating always has to come out in the forums and it’s rather judgemental. It’s no one’s business why OP chooses to be here. People judge too quickly IMO.
I can't see where the OP has actually been accused of cheating. I myself have a preference to not meet attached men whether they have permission of not. That is MY choice.
The OP has asked for advice as to why he isn't getting replies he is expecting. This is one of the reasons and people have actually given advice as to how he can mitigate against that."
Believe someone mentioned ‘playing away’ another way of saying cheating no? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I gave him the knowledge of my experience, but he completely ignored my post.
Apologies I missed it amongst the mud slinging, but yes agree it’s a numbers game, I know that, was merely asking for a few pointers on my profile, but such as always in the forums you get incredible people who can read a post and help the person asking for help, and there are the others who see a request for help as ‘ok how can I morally take the high ground’ which kinda misses the point.
The fact of my marital status of course would be mentioned to any potential meets, and before any meet.
And being married, seeing in a profile words such as discretion doesn’t take huge brain power to see what it truly means, i don’t believe many are confused by that. Will be I willing to listen to someone who is married and playing and their reasons for it, absolutely, but I pride myself on being open minded. Shame we all aren’t."
No mud slinging. No moral high grounds.
YOU just didn't like the very honest and personal opinions given even after you'd invited them! I'd call that the very opposite of being open minded if I'm honest |
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"I gave him the knowledge of my experience, but he completely ignored my post.
Apologies I missed it amongst the mud slinging, but yes agree it’s a numbers game, I know that, was merely asking for a few pointers on my profile, but such as always in the forums you get incredible people who can read a post and help the person asking for help, and there are the others who see a request for help as ‘ok how can I morally take the high ground’ which kinda misses the point.
The fact of my marital status of course would be mentioned to any potential meets, and before any meet.
And being married, seeing in a profile words such as discretion doesn’t take huge brain power to see what it truly means, i don’t believe many are confused by that. Will be I willing to listen to someone who is married and playing and their reasons for it, absolutely, but I pride myself on being open minded. Shame we all aren’t.
No mud slinging. No moral high grounds.
YOU just didn't like the very honest and personal opinions given even after you'd invited them! I'd call that the very opposite of being open minded if I'm honest "
Huge assumption I “didn’t like”, I massively appreciate everyone who has taken the time and effort to respond, please don’t put words into my mouth, thank you x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Can I just ask why so many men on here say they get loads of messages from gay men? If you put your filters on I was under the impression that they wouldn't be able to message you? Apologies if I'm wrong about this |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I gave him the knowledge of my experience, but he completely ignored my post.
Apologies I missed it amongst the mud slinging, but yes agree it’s a numbers game, I know that, was merely asking for a few pointers on my profile, but such as always in the forums you get incredible people who can read a post and help the person asking for help, and there are the others who see a request for help as ‘ok how can I morally take the high ground’ which kinda misses the point.
The fact of my marital status of course would be mentioned to any potential meets, and before any meet.
And being married, seeing in a profile words such as discretion doesn’t take huge brain power to see what it truly means, i don’t believe many are confused by that. Will be I willing to listen to someone who is married and playing and their reasons for it, absolutely, but I pride myself on being open minded. Shame we all aren’t.
No mud slinging. No moral high grounds.
YOU just didn't like the very honest and personal opinions given even after you'd invited them! I'd call that the very opposite of being open minded if I'm honest
Huge assumption I “didn’t like”, I massively appreciate everyone who has taken the time and effort to respond, please don’t put words into my mouth, thank you x"
You can read back on your own posts, right?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can I just ask why so many men on here say they get loads of messages from gay men? If you put your filters on I was under the impression that they wouldn't be able to message you? Apologies if I'm wrong about this"
You are wrong about this.
Personally I don't mind getting messages from people of all genders and sexualities. It's not a big deal. |
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"I gave him the knowledge of my experience, but he completely ignored my post.
Apologies I missed it amongst the mud slinging, but yes agree it’s a numbers game, I know that, was merely asking for a few pointers on my profile, but such as always in the forums you get incredible people who can read a post and help the person asking for help, and there are the others who see a request for help as ‘ok how can I morally take the high ground’ which kinda misses the point.
The fact of my marital status of course would be mentioned to any potential meets, and before any meet.
And being married, seeing in a profile words such as discretion doesn’t take huge brain power to see what it truly means, i don’t believe many are confused by that. Will be I willing to listen to someone who is married and playing and their reasons for it, absolutely, but I pride myself on being open minded. Shame we all aren’t.
No mud slinging. No moral high grounds.
YOU just didn't like the very honest and personal opinions given even after you'd invited them! I'd call that the very opposite of being open minded if I'm honest
Huge assumption I “didn’t like”, I massively appreciate everyone who has taken the time and effort to respond, please don’t put words into my mouth, thank you x
You can read back on your own posts, right?
"
Perfectly thanks
And one of your veris, from someone who is playing with partners permission..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I gave him the knowledge of my experience, but he completely ignored my post.
Apologies I missed it amongst the mud slinging, but yes agree it’s a numbers game, I know that, was merely asking for a few pointers on my profile, but such as always in the forums you get incredible people who can read a post and help the person asking for help, and there are the others who see a request for help as ‘ok how can I morally take the high ground’ which kinda misses the point.
The fact of my marital status of course would be mentioned to any potential meets, and before any meet.
And being married, seeing in a profile words such as discretion doesn’t take huge brain power to see what it truly means, i don’t believe many are confused by that. Will be I willing to listen to someone who is married and playing and their reasons for it, absolutely, but I pride myself on being open minded. Shame we all aren’t.
No mud slinging. No moral high grounds.
YOU just didn't like the very honest and personal opinions given even after you'd invited them! I'd call that the very opposite of being open minded if I'm honest "
I would too
Makes me laugh when people canvass opinion on here, and then get all arsey when they dont like the replies.
One wonders what they expected |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I gave him the knowledge of my experience, but he completely ignored my post.
Apologies I missed it amongst the mud slinging, but yes agree it’s a numbers game, I know that, was merely asking for a few pointers on my profile, but such as always in the forums you get incredible people who can read a post and help the person asking for help, and there are the others who see a request for help as ‘ok how can I morally take the high ground’ which kinda misses the point.
The fact of my marital status of course would be mentioned to any potential meets, and before any meet.
And being married, seeing in a profile words such as discretion doesn’t take huge brain power to see what it truly means, i don’t believe many are confused by that. Will be I willing to listen to someone who is married and playing and their reasons for it, absolutely, but I pride myself on being open minded. Shame we all aren’t.
No mud slinging. No moral high grounds.
YOU just didn't like the very honest and personal opinions given even after you'd invited them! I'd call that the very opposite of being open minded if I'm honest
Huge assumption I “didn’t like”, I massively appreciate everyone who has taken the time and effort to respond, please don’t put words into my mouth, thank you x
You can read back on your own posts, right?
Perfectly thanks
And one of your veris, from someone who is playing with partners permission....."
I haven't asked for opinions on my profile. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Can I just ask why so many men on here say they get loads of messages from gay men? If you put your filters on I was under the impression that they wouldn't be able to message you? Apologies if I'm wrong about this
You are wrong about this.
Personally I don't mind getting messages from people of all genders and sexualities. It's not a big deal."
No I'm not wrong about this. Ok that's fine if you don't mind getting messages from all genders. I said a lot of men moan about getting messages from gay men and I said why not just put filters on so they can't message you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Can I just ask why so many men on here say they get loads of messages from gay men? If you put your filters on I was under the impression that they wouldn't be able to message you? Apologies if I'm wrong about this
You are wrong about this.
Personally I don't mind getting messages from people of all genders and sexualities. It's not a big deal.
No I'm not wrong about this. Ok that's fine if you don't mind getting messages from all genders. I said a lot of men moan about getting messages from gay men and I said why not just put filters on so they can't message you "
No, you'e wrong because you can't block gay men, you can only block men.
You can't block people on here based on sexuality. |
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"I gave him the knowledge of my experience, but he completely ignored my post.
Apologies I missed it amongst the mud slinging, but yes agree it’s a numbers game, I know that, was merely asking for a few pointers on my profile, but such as always in the forums you get incredible people who can read a post and help the person asking for help, and there are the others who see a request for help as ‘ok how can I morally take the high ground’ which kinda misses the point.
The fact of my marital status of course would be mentioned to any potential meets, and before any meet.
And being married, seeing in a profile words such as discretion doesn’t take huge brain power to see what it truly means, i don’t believe many are confused by that. Will be I willing to listen to someone who is married and playing and their reasons for it, absolutely, but I pride myself on being open minded. Shame we all aren’t.
No mud slinging. No moral high grounds.
YOU just didn't like the very honest and personal opinions given even after you'd invited them! I'd call that the very opposite of being open minded if I'm honest
Huge assumption I “didn’t like”, I massively appreciate everyone who has taken the time and effort to respond, please don’t put words into my mouth, thank you x"
I would disagree.
You were given advice, and, for a while, you dodged answering a valid point about being married.
You did get a little tetchy about the subject, and mentioned that people were "mud-slinging" even though no one was.
The point is, you asked for advice, and when there was no magical equation offered, you got a bit snippy.
Be honest.
Some will meet those that are playing away, some wont.
Some will judge, others wont care.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Can I just ask why so many men on here say they get loads of messages from gay men? If you put your filters on I was under the impression that they wouldn't be able to message you? Apologies if I'm wrong about this
You are wrong about this.
Personally I don't mind getting messages from people of all genders and sexualities. It's not a big deal.
No I'm not wrong about this. Ok that's fine if you don't mind getting messages from all genders. I said a lot of men moan about getting messages from gay men and I said why not just put filters on so they can't message you
No, you'e wrong because you can't block gay men, you can only block men.
You can't block people on here based on sexuality."
That's strange because I can? Couples,bi men and TV's can't message me because I'm not looking for them? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
In my opinion, there is nothing wrong with your profile. Very tasteful pictures rather than shots of your cock from however many angles. They also show that you don't take yourself overly seriously.
The 'married' bit - not an issue for me as such, apart from potential availability problem.
I would say, don't change anything, just keep trying. And good luck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
As the person who has chosen the term "playing away", I can assure you I wasn't mud slinging. If you'd like me to, I'd be very glad to oblige! But I wasn't. I clearly said your chances, in my opinion, will improve if you're upfront about that. I don't really see what's so difficult to accept about that. And saying that people aren't open minded if they choose not to engage with someone who is "playing away" (insert here whatever term you choose to apply to this situation) is frankly ridiculous. I have very few expectations about the people I meet on here, but we all have free choice to play in whatever way we want to. Literally not one person on here has said you "shouldn't" be on here, they've purely given you reasons why others may choose not to meet/reply to you. Which is what you asked |
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"Can I just ask why so many men on here say they get loads of messages from gay men? If you put your filters on I was under the impression that they wouldn't be able to message you? Apologies if I'm wrong about this
You are wrong about this.
Personally I don't mind getting messages from people of all genders and sexualities. It's not a big deal.
No I'm not wrong about this. Ok that's fine if you don't mind getting messages from all genders. I said a lot of men moan about getting messages from gay men and I said why not just put filters on so they can't message you
No, you'e wrong because you can't block gay men, you can only block men.
You can't block people on here based on sexuality.
That's strange because I can? Couples,bi men and TV's can't message me because I'm not looking for them?"
Wrong |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Can I just ask why so many men on here say they get loads of messages from gay men? If you put your filters on I was under the impression that they wouldn't be able to message you? Apologies if I'm wrong about this
You are wrong about this.
Personally I don't mind getting messages from people of all genders and sexualities. It's not a big deal.
No I'm not wrong about this. Ok that's fine if you don't mind getting messages from all genders. I said a lot of men moan about getting messages from gay men and I said why not just put filters on so they can't message you
No, you'e wrong because you can't block gay men, you can only block men.
You can't block people on here based on sexuality.
That's strange because I can? Couples,bi men and TV's can't message me because I'm not looking for them?"
You're mistaken - I'm pretty sure you can't block anyone based on their sexual preference which based on what you've said would mean the only people that can message you are women. |
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"the profile is ok..but as others have said, the comment about replies is unecessary as well as the comment to guys...if you've bocked them there's no reason to include it.
Noted, but can I ask, as a lady, why would a comment about ‘no mesages from guys’ put you off ?
Thanks
X"
In answer to this question, I’d take it that if you can’t just block, or delete messages you don’t want, you’re not comfortable with gay or bisexual guys.
I might be reading too much into it, but the possibility that you could be a little homophobic is offputting. I’m straight, but I don’t feel the need to tell ladies not to message me.
The married part is of no concern to me, as I have no idea what your home situation is |
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Same bottom line as ever. On a site where men outnumber women 15 to 1, an attached man in his forties will have his work cut out. Most women will prefer someone genuinely single. Even if there are no moral objections, attached men are a pain to meet as they have to work round their partners and kids, cannot generally meet at weekends and evenings and are prone to late cancellations.
The OP has done well to get three meets. |
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"There's nothing wrong with your profile. It's short and sweet, you have a nice selection of pics, and I know you're a great guy....oh wait....Maybe your veris are putting the gals off  
"
Haha bloody veris |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Why does everything breakdown when help is asked for? Everyone becomes judge and jury? The OP just asked for opinions on his profile format to ascertain if there was an issue. Why is there a need to know every single detail of an individuals life before entering into a conversation with them? Isn’t that why there’s a chat facility? To engage with each other privately and to take it from there...... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Not having much luck on here to be honest
I message lady’s who fit what I’m looking for and ones that I feel in their profile are after what I can offer.
But I hardly get a message back (yes another gripe as it grates that they don’t even offer up a ‘no thanks’ or even ‘are you having a laugh’ but don’t wish to get into this debate in the thread).
So with this in mind, any profil tips please, photos, words anything I need to change delete or add?
Please try and keep things polite and constructive and be gentle
HG"
You are not alone on this HG. Most single men suffer from the same lack of interest
It does get very disappointing when you keep trying, trying and trying with nothing to show for it. I have nothing to add to help matters because im in the same boat. Head up chap |
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"Why does everything breakdown when help is asked for? Everyone becomes judge and jury? The OP just asked for opinions on his profile format to ascertain if there was an issue. Why is there a need to know every single detail of an individuals life before entering into a conversation with them? Isn’t that why there’s a chat facility? To engage with each other privately and to take it from there...... "
Would never catch on 
But seriously that was the general idea of my post |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why does everything breakdown when help is asked for? Everyone becomes judge and jury? The OP just asked for opinions on his profile format to ascertain if there was an issue. Why is there a need to know every single detail of an individuals life before entering into a conversation with them? Isn’t that why there’s a chat facility? To engage with each other privately and to take it from there......
Would never catch on
But seriously that was the general idea of my post"
I know..... I got it..... I clearly read what your request was and gave my opinion. Which stands. There’s nothing wrong with your profile or pictures in my opinion. |
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"Not having much luck on here to be honest
I message lady’s who fit what I’m looking for and ones that I feel in their profile are after what I can offer.
But I hardly get a message back (yes another gripe as it grates that they don’t even offer up a ‘no thanks’ or even ‘are you having a laugh’ but don’t wish to get into this debate in the thread).
So with this in mind, any profil tips please, photos, words anything I need to change delete or add?
Please try and keep things polite and constructive and be gentle
HG
You are not alone on this HG. Most single men suffer from the same lack of interest
It does get very disappointing when you keep trying, trying and trying with nothing to show for it. I have nothing to add to help matters because im in the same boat. Head up chap "
As a rule of thumb, women generally prefer less explicit photos - most of yours are action shots, which aren’t appealing. Maybe change those for photos of you & see if that helps? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Sorry my mistake but I'm sure women and couples can't message me? I'm confused now lol x
I just tried to message you - you’ve blocked all females. It’s a safe bet that couples are also blocked"
So the men that moan they don't want any men messaging them gay or straight should block all men then. Simple |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Why have people suddenly jumped to the conclusion the OP 'cheating' or 'playing away'? Really?!!
I really like your profile OP, it's well worded and your photos are gorgeous.
Not sure if you attend clubs and socials but that may be a route to take?
Good luck and hope patience pays off. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why have people suddenly jumped to the conclusion the OP 'cheating' or 'playing away'? Really?!!
I really like your profile OP, it's well worded and your photos are gorgeous.
Not sure if you attend clubs and socials but that may be a route to take?
Good luck and hope patience pays off."
Let’s make an OP appreciation club |
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"Not having much luck on here to be honest
I message lady’s who fit what I’m looking for and ones that I feel in their profile are after what I can offer.
But I hardly get a message back (yes another gripe as it grates that they don’t even offer up a ‘no thanks’ or even ‘are you having a laugh’ but don’t wish to get into this debate in the thread).
So with this in mind, any profil tips please, photos, words anything I need to change delete or add?
Please try and keep things polite and constructive and be gentle
HG"
I’ve read your profile and had a perv at your pics - suits just do it for me! I think you’re worrying to much. Head up to lincs  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"As the person who has chosen the term "playing away", I can assure you I wasn't mud slinging. If you'd like me to, I'd be very glad to oblige! But I wasn't. I clearly said your chances, in my opinion, will improve if you're upfront about that. I don't really see what's so difficult to accept about that. And saying that people aren't open minded if they choose not to engage with someone who is "playing away" (insert here whatever term you choose to apply to this situation) is frankly ridiculous. I have very few expectations about the people I meet on here, but we all have free choice to play in whatever way we want to. Literally not one person on here has said you "shouldn't" be on here, they've purely given you reasons why others may choose not to meet/reply to you. Which is what you asked
Apologies I wasn’t taking a point with what you said, rather another person in the thread who was arguing that I hadn’t been accused of ‘playing away’ or ‘cheating’ or anything else that could be described as playing with my partners consent and knowledge.
I do accept that my home life will have an impact on my chances, you’d have to be crazy not to accept that.
It was the idea that closed minded people assumed that I was “playing away”, In fact the very people who took the moral high ground and quite clearly stated they would never meet with another who was in a relationship regardless of wether they have permission or not yet there veris are from someone clearly stating “playing with partners permission”.... oh the irony ....
Out of curiosity, how do you know the person behind that veri is the reason they don't meet attached people? There is this thing called "life experience".
Quite clearly I don’t know. And have no interest in knowing to be honest.
But to leave a veri on your profile stating ‘how her pussy tastes incredible’ from a person who for whatever reason has done something to put you off meeting attached people, when you once had no problem, would be very very odd in my opinion. But of course you’re are free to form your own opinion."
Again I haven't asked for opinions on my profile or my verifications. You are breaching the forum rules. |
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"As the person who has chosen the term "playing away", I can assure you I wasn't mud slinging. If you'd like me to, I'd be very glad to oblige! But I wasn't. I clearly said your chances, in my opinion, will improve if you're upfront about that. I don't really see what's so difficult to accept about that. And saying that people aren't open minded if they choose not to engage with someone who is "playing away" (insert here whatever term you choose to apply to this situation) is frankly ridiculous. I have very few expectations about the people I meet on here, but we all have free choice to play in whatever way we want to. Literally not one person on here has said you "shouldn't" be on here, they've purely given you reasons why others may choose not to meet/reply to you. Which is what you asked
Apologies I wasn’t taking a point with what you said, rather another person in the thread who was arguing that I hadn’t been accused of ‘playing away’ or ‘cheating’ or anything else that could be described as playing with my partners consent and knowledge.
I do accept that my home life will have an impact on my chances, you’d have to be crazy not to accept that.
It was the idea that closed minded people assumed that I was “playing away”, In fact the very people who took the moral high ground and quite clearly stated they would never meet with another who was in a relationship regardless of wether they have permission or not yet there veris are from someone clearly stating “playing with partners permission”.... oh the irony ....
Out of curiosity, how do you know the person behind that veri is the reason they don't meet attached people? There is this thing called "life experience".
Quite clearly I don’t know. And have no interest in knowing to be honest.
But to leave a veri on your profile stating ‘how her pussy tastes incredible’ from a person who for whatever reason has done something to put you off meeting attached people, when you once had no problem, would be very very odd in my opinion. But of course you’re are free to form your own opinion.
Again I haven't asked for opinions on my profile or my verifications. You are breaching the forum rules. "
It’s fact |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"As the person who has chosen the term "playing away", I can assure you I wasn't mud slinging. If you'd like me to, I'd be very glad to oblige! But I wasn't. I clearly said your chances, in my opinion, will improve if you're upfront about that. I don't really see what's so difficult to accept about that. And saying that people aren't open minded if they choose not to engage with someone who is "playing away" (insert here whatever term you choose to apply to this situation) is frankly ridiculous. I have very few expectations about the people I meet on here, but we all have free choice to play in whatever way we want to. Literally not one person on here has said you "shouldn't" be on here, they've purely given you reasons why others may choose not to meet/reply to you. Which is what you asked
Apologies I wasn’t taking a point with what you said, rather another person in the thread who was arguing that I hadn’t been accused of ‘playing away’ or ‘cheating’ or anything else that could be described as playing with my partners consent and knowledge.
I do accept that my home life will have an impact on my chances, you’d have to be crazy not to accept that.
It was the idea that closed minded people assumed that I was “playing away”, In fact the very people who took the moral high ground and quite clearly stated they would never meet with another who was in a relationship regardless of wether they have permission or not yet there veris are from someone clearly stating “playing with partners permission”.... oh the irony ....
Out of curiosity, how do you know the person behind that veri is the reason they don't meet attached people? There is this thing called "life experience"."
He's stretching. I have clearly stated I don't meet attached men and nothing on my profile contradicts this!
I don't feel the need to defend myself or my verifications... But just for the hell of it. I've only actually fucked and played with one of my publically displayed verifications and he is VERY single. So your attempt at trying to imply I am a hypocrite (because let's not beat around the bush at what it actually was) kinda fails at that apparant lack of open mindedness of yours. |
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"Why have people suddenly jumped to the conclusion the OP 'cheating' or 'playing away'? Really?!!
I really like your profile OP, it's well worded and your photos are gorgeous.
Not sure if you attend clubs and socials but that may be a route to take?
Good luck and hope patience pays off.
Let’s make an OP appreciation club "
Stop you’re making me blush 
But be quick about it.... I feel a ban coming x |
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"Not having much luck on here to be honest
I message lady’s who fit what I’m looking for and ones that I feel in their profile are after what I can offer.
But I hardly get a message back (yes another gripe as it grates that they don’t even offer up a ‘no thanks’ or even ‘are you having a laugh’ but don’t wish to get into this debate in the thread).
So with this in mind, any profil tips please, photos, words anything I need to change delete or add?
Please try and keep things polite and constructive and be gentle
HG
I’ve read your profile and had a perv at your pics - suits just do it for me! I think you’re worrying to much. Head up to lincs "
Now there’s an idea... thank you x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"As the person who has chosen the term "playing away", I can assure you I wasn't mud slinging. If you'd like me to, I'd be very glad to oblige! But I wasn't. I clearly said your chances, in my opinion, will improve if you're upfront about that. I don't really see what's so difficult to accept about that. And saying that people aren't open minded if they choose not to engage with someone who is "playing away" (insert here whatever term you choose to apply to this situation) is frankly ridiculous. I have very few expectations about the people I meet on here, but we all have free choice to play in whatever way we want to. Literally not one person on here has said you "shouldn't" be on here, they've purely given you reasons why others may choose not to meet/reply to you. Which is what you asked
Apologies I wasn’t taking a point with what you said, rather another person in the thread who was arguing that I hadn’t been accused of ‘playing away’ or ‘cheating’ or anything else that could be described as playing with my partners consent and knowledge.
I do accept that my home life will have an impact on my chances, you’d have to be crazy not to accept that.
It was the idea that closed minded people assumed that I was “playing away”, In fact the very people who took the moral high ground and quite clearly stated they would never meet with another who was in a relationship regardless of wether they have permission or not yet there veris are from someone clearly stating “playing with partners permission”.... oh the irony ....
Out of curiosity, how do you know the person behind that veri is the reason they don't meet attached people? There is this thing called "life experience".
Quite clearly I don’t know. And have no interest in knowing to be honest.
But to leave a veri on your profile stating ‘how her pussy tastes incredible’ from a person who for whatever reason has done something to put you off meeting attached people, when you once had no problem, would be very very odd in my opinion. But of course you’re are free to form your own opinion.
Again I haven't asked for opinions on my profile or my verifications. You are breaching the forum rules.
It’s fact"
You are not allowwd to comment on someone's profile unless you have been invited to do so... Which I never have.
The fact that I have a preference against your set of circumstances does not give you permission to break this.
|
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"As the person who has chosen the term "playing away", I can assure you I wasn't mud slinging. If you'd like me to, I'd be very glad to oblige! But I wasn't. I clearly said your chances, in my opinion, will improve if you're upfront about that. I don't really see what's so difficult to accept about that. And saying that people aren't open minded if they choose not to engage with someone who is "playing away" (insert here whatever term you choose to apply to this situation) is frankly ridiculous. I have very few expectations about the people I meet on here, but we all have free choice to play in whatever way we want to. Literally not one person on here has said you "shouldn't" be on here, they've purely given you reasons why others may choose not to meet/reply to you. Which is what you asked
Apologies I wasn’t taking a point with what you said, rather another person in the thread who was arguing that I hadn’t been accused of ‘playing away’ or ‘cheating’ or anything else that could be described as playing with my partners consent and knowledge.
I do accept that my home life will have an impact on my chances, you’d have to be crazy not to accept that.
It was the idea that closed minded people assumed that I was “playing away”, In fact the very people who took the moral high ground and quite clearly stated they would never meet with another who was in a relationship regardless of wether they have permission or not yet there veris are from someone clearly stating “playing with partners permission”.... oh the irony ....
Out of curiosity, how do you know the person behind that veri is the reason they don't meet attached people? There is this thing called "life experience".
Quite clearly I don’t know. And have no interest in knowing to be honest.
But to leave a veri on your profile stating ‘how her pussy tastes incredible’ from a person who for whatever reason has done something to put you off meeting attached people, when you once had no problem, would be very very odd in my opinion. But of course you’re are free to form your own opinion.
Again I haven't asked for opinions on my profile or my verifications. You are breaching the forum rules.
It’s fact
You are not allowwd to comment on someone's profile unless you have been invited to do so... Which I never have.
The fact that I have a preference against your set of circumstances does not give you permission to break this.
"
Many thanks for pointing this out, very kind of you x |
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