FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Whiny complaint thread
Whiny complaint thread
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sorry but feeling shit. Why does no one want to meet me. Am I a complete ugly bloke?
Expecting a bit of abuse but I'm old enough to take it
Thanks for any nice replies"
Sorry to hear you’re feeling like shit, that’s not fun. It’s hard work to stand out on this sit for chaps so it’s not really something you can overly personalise if you’re not getting responses as people simply don’t really know you. It’s impossible to give you a subjective (my) opinion about whether I think you’re good looking as I can’t see, you’ve one pic and no face. If you’d like some feedback on your profile I’d have some, but you didn’t specifically ask for that.
Hope you feel better soon. |
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"Sorry but feeling shit. Why does no one want to meet me. Am I a complete ugly bloke?
Expecting a bit of abuse but I'm old enough to take it
Thanks for any nice replies"
No you're not completely ugly, you look nice.
I think it's really hard for men on here and lots will be in your position. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Even if you were local i personally would say no thank you.
Really sorry but a 43 year old living with friends, whereas you have no privacy, would be a definite no from me. I don't do hotels etc either.
Hey there are plenty who would fit the bill for you and you for them.
Have fun.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Face pic public now sorry"
No you’re not ugly. The quality of the pictures could be better and it would be improved if you smiled, you look a tad fed up! Everyone loves a smile.
I’d suggest pics that aren’t just taken in a bathroom - rightly or wrongly, and often wrongly - they give the impression that someone is “attached” and can only take pics discreetly on their own in a locked bathroom. I know you’ve given a reason for not accommodating so this isn’t the case for you, even so it can be a red flag for some ladies that come across this previously, and quite honestly pics taken outside of a bathroom are often a little more appealing anyway! (Just my opinion)
Anyway, good luck and smile  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Face pic public now sorry"
Well now i know what you looked like in 2014 
As others have said sharing a flat isnt ideal but its not the end of the world..
Try pimping up your profile a bit and get some new pics done..
And now you have found the forums stick around and join in |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
You've not asked for profile advice OP so I can't give any specifically about your profile but generically that's the first thing a lot of people will look at, even before reading a message, and decide if they're interested.
So ask yourself this - does your profile come across as interesting and enticing, giving the reader lots to go on about you, the kind of person you are and the kinds of things you're interested in, while also telling them what you think you can offer? Does it make you stand out from the crowd and have a decent set of pics that show you in your best light?
Be honest with yourself and if the answer to any of those questions is no - then there's your starting point
Also think about getting along to clubs or organised socials or even just getting more involved in the forums, which are all great ways of getting to know people and getting yourself known.
Good luck |
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By *lutchie OP Man
over a year ago
West Midlands |
New photo added today although I look like I've been dragged through a hedge backwards. Its not a bathroom pic its a site office one! You can see I've been here a while and my profile has had many variations and edits over the years from short and concise to long and detailed and they didn't make any significant difference. So I understand how hard it is for blokes. I've read all the usual threads about profile details and styles . I was feeling crap yesterday so thanks for the nice replies at least I've had people actually reply so I will continue lurk around and participate in the forums but as with any forum I think it's better to keep quite if you don't have anything sensible or constructive to add rather than just post for the sake of it.
And I believe in fate so I'm sure something will happen eventually
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"New photo added today although I look like I've been dragged through a hedge backwards. Its not a bathroom pic its a site office one! You can see I've been here a while and my profile has had many variations and edits over the years from short and concise to long and detailed and they didn't make any significant difference. So I understand how hard it is for blokes. I've read all the usual threads about profile details and styles . I was feeling crap yesterday so thanks for the nice replies at least I've had people actually reply so I will continue lurk around and participate in the forums but as with any forum I think it's better to keep quite if you don't have anything sensible or constructive to add rather than just post for the sake of it.
And I believe in fate so I'm sure something will happen eventually
"
Stick with it lad... dont be to quiet around the forums, sometimes the simplist or stupidest comment can kick off a great chat from what I have seen |
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"True but I don't like trolls etc but I will chime in now and again. I'm sure it won't get me many offers tho he he"
The brutal truth is that you a middle aged average bloke who can't accommodate. That puts you right at the bottom of the fab pecking order.
There are around 17 men for every woman on here. Thus you have around 16 rivals for every woman you want to meet. Some will be younger, above average and able to accommodate. That means your chances are tiny.
Sorry to piss on your chips, but I don't think there is any point giving you cheer up guff that patently isn't true. As ever your best bet is to go to clubs and talk to people. You will have a much better chance there. |
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"True but I don't like trolls etc but I will chime in now and again. I'm sure it won't get me many offers tho he he
The brutal truth is that you a middle aged average bloke who can't accommodate. That puts you right at the bottom of the fab pecking order.
There are around 17 men for every woman on here. Thus you have around 16 rivals for every woman you want to meet. Some will be younger, above average and able to accommodate. That means your chances are tiny.
Sorry to piss on your chips, but I don't think there is any point giving you cheer up guff that patently isn't true. As ever your best bet is to go to clubs and talk to people. You will have a much better chance there. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I feel your pain OP, on here over a year and no meets...not even a webcam veri!
Don't stress about it, with fab you just need to relax and see what happens.
For me personally I pretty much gave up messaging other women as their inboxes are just too full, if they want you they will make themselves known. |
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"Sorry but feeling shit. Why does no one want to meet me. Am I a complete ugly bloke?
Expecting a bit of abuse but I'm old enough to take it
Thanks for any nice replies"
I think your circumstances do put you at a disadvantage. However from my own perspective I don’t think it’s just about the profile in this sort of medium . What are you saying in that first all important message ? Is it tailored to the individual ? Is it thought provoking and mentally stimulating ? Yes this is a swinging site but people need inspiring if they’re to respond |
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"I would still look and think MARRIED. Its just the way it is.
Married ? Really ? I’d just think men behaving badly ,,, living amongst takeaway cartons and wrappers
That is funny  "
I couldn’t resist ,, visions of hand down back of cushions and pulling out a 3 month old slice of kebab ..... I’m not speaking from experience ,, I hasten to add |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sorry but feeling shit. Why does no one want to meet me. Am I a complete ugly bloke?
Expecting a bit of abuse but I'm old enough to take it
Thanks for any nice replies"
Don't worry mate, woman are just plain rude on here |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You dont look ugly
Maybe try a few socials like chams or the black country social at xtasisa on a Thursday
The swing scene can be a bugger to get into and sometimes feels like a hard slog
Dont be downhearted, you are alive you are healthy i assume and working and the better weather is here soon |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Its not that it just there to many men on here and not enough women for sharing plus most women have very high standers or being to picky in other words  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its not that it just there to many men on here and not enough women for sharing plus most women have very high standers or being to picky in other words "
Being too picky? Blimey, that sounds like women should just sleep with anyone? This isn't the dark ages you know!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its not that it just there to many men on here and not enough women for sharing plus most women have very high standers or being to picky in other words "
Why cant women have high standards and choose who we want |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its not that it just there to many men on here and not enough women for sharing plus most women have very high standers or being to picky in other words
Why cant women have high standards and choose who we want"
i am not say they cant have high stands it there right i just being honest and that where it making it harder most men on here |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its not that it just there to many men on here and not enough women for sharing plus most women have very high standers or being to picky in other words
Why cant women have high standards and choose who we want i am not say they cant have high stands it there right i just being honest and that where it making it harder most men on here"
Not at all
If someone likes a person so be it. Nothing hard on here to understand  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its not that it just there to many men on here and not enough women for sharing plus most women have very high standers or being to picky in other words
Being too picky? Blimey, that sounds like women should just sleep with anyone? This isn't the dark ages you know!
I agree woman are too picky, if you're not built like Arnold Schwarzenegger, or hung like a actual horse, you don't really stand a chance.
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its not that it just there to many men on here and not enough women for sharing plus most women have very high standers or being to picky in other words
Why cant women have high standards and choose who we want i am not say they cant have high stands it there right i just being honest and that where it making it harder most men on here
Not at all
If someone likes a person so be it. Nothing hard on here to understand "
well i am finding hard and i not a bad person after 3 years here |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its not that it just there to many men on here and not enough women for sharing plus most women have very high standers or being to picky in other words
Being too picky? Blimey, that sounds like women should just sleep with anyone? This isn't the dark ages you know!
I agree woman are too picky, if you're not built like Arnold Schwarzenegger, or hung like a actual horse, you don't really stand a chance.
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its not that it just there to many men on here and not enough women for sharing plus most women have very high standers or being to picky in other words
Being too picky? Blimey, that sounds like women should just sleep with anyone? This isn't the dark ages you know!
I agree woman are too picky, if you're not built like Arnold Schwarzenegger, or hung like a actual horse, you don't really stand a chance.
"
Im not into them types |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The truth is we do get to be picky on here... The bulk of my messages are from guys in their 20s who wouldn't dream of approaching me in real vanilla life.
Also don't forget its a swingers site... Most of the women and couples I play with I've met at clubs and parties.
Good luck though xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its not that it just there to many men on here and not enough women for sharing plus most women have very high standers or being to picky in other words
Why cant women have high standards and choose who we want i am not say they cant have high stands it there right i just being honest and that where it making it harder most men on here
Not at all
If someone likes a person so be it. Nothing hard on here to understand "
Quite right, some men on here think that just because it’s a Swingers site..... there needs to be connection and attraction. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"Its not that it just there to many men on here and not enough women for sharing plus most women have very high standers or being to picky in other words
Being too picky? Blimey, that sounds like women should just sleep with anyone? This isn't the dark ages you know!
I agree woman are too picky, if you're not built like Arnold Schwarzenegger, or hung like a actual horse, you don't really stand a chance.
"
What a load of rubbish and quite frankly the kind of rubbish that someone looking for anyone to blame but themselves would come out with!! Everyone on here has a right to choose to have sex with whoever they want and if that makes them "picky" then so be it.
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"Its not that it just there to many men on here and not enough women for sharing plus most women have very high standers or being to picky in other words
Being too picky? Blimey, that sounds like women should just sleep with anyone? This isn't the dark ages you know!
I agree woman are too picky, if you're not built like Arnold Schwarzenegger, or hung like a actual horse, you don't really stand a chance.
What a load of rubbish and quite frankly the kind of rubbish that someone looking for anyone to blame but themselves would come out with!! Everyone on here has a right to choose to have sex with whoever they want and if that makes them "picky" then so be it.
"
By definition, women have to be picky on here. Given the imbalance in numbers and the impossibility of meeting everyone who messages them, women have to pick some men and exclude many more.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its not that it just there to many men on here and not enough women for sharing plus most women have very high standers or being to picky in other words
Being too picky? Blimey, that sounds like women should just sleep with anyone? This isn't the dark ages you know!
I agree woman are too picky, if you're not built like Arnold Schwarzenegger, or hung like a actual horse, you don't really stand a chance.
What a load of rubbish and quite frankly the kind of rubbish that someone looking for anyone to blame but themselves would come out with!! Everyone on here has a right to choose to have sex with whoever they want and if that makes them "picky" then so be it.
By definition, women have to be picky on here. Given the imbalance in numbers and the impossibility of meeting everyone who messages them, women have to pick some men and exclude many more.
"
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By *lutchie OP Man
over a year ago
West Midlands |
Wow now over 100 views thanks everyone fate will decide whether someone fancys me I guess. I defiantly don't expect any too and of course I understand the ratio and therefore choice of every woman |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wow now over 100 views thanks everyone fate will decide whether someone fancys me I guess. I defiantly don't expect any too and of course I understand the ratio and therefore choice of every woman "
well done in getting notes
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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People are incredibly superficial on here, for what is often a one night stand. It takes too much effort on here then it would to just go to a club and pull.
Just like in real life, be like everyone else, your common. Stand out and you a freak. Typical British double standards. Americans are far more laxed and not as suck up, often the women are far prettier too.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its not that it just there to many men on here and not enough women for sharing plus most women have very high standers or being to picky in other words "
Isn't it weird that men are allowed to show interest in women they find attractive but women aren't allowed to not show interest if they don't find someone attractive.
Call it picky but aren't we allowed to have sex with people who we find attractive or is it only men that are allowed to do that? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Plough on mate. You have to anticipate a response from 1 in every 200 messages sent.
In my experience couples or single fems are looking for a individual message that stands out. Make sure it is unique to the people/person you are sending it to.
Don’t get disheartened, it’s a bit of a game, it’s real life but it really isn’t (if that makes sense). So many great guys on here the women are very lucky so just keep plugging away. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its not that it just there to many men on here and not enough women for sharing plus most women have very high standers or being to picky in other words
Isn't it weird that men are allowed to show interest in women they find attractive but women aren't allowed to not show interest if they don't find someone attractive.
Call it picky but aren't we allowed to have sex with people who we find attractive or is it only men that are allowed to do that?"
i did not say that your right women do have the right to pick who they want that all i saying as i'm upset.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well one way to be unique is not start a sentence with the old "hi". I find its fucking boring and sounds so fake/lazy.
"Good Morrow Milady" might go over most peoples heads, I fear. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"People are incredibly superficial on here, for what is often a one night stand. It takes too much effort on here then it would to just go to a club and pull.
Just like in real life, be like everyone else, your common. Stand out and you a freak. Typical British double standards. Americans are far more laxed and not as suck up, often the women are far prettier too.
"
Not double standards at all - if the roles were reversed and you could have your pick of anyone on the site (or a large proportion of it) which would you choose? The person who had the right attitude, an appealing profile and pictures and with whom you had a good connection and chemistry, or the person with a negative attitude, who moaned about others not wanting them, had a limited profile/pics?
If you say anything other than the first answer you're either lying or truly aren't fussy and would just have sex with anyone for the sake of it - neither of which are particularly appealing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"People are incredibly superficial on here, for what is often a one night stand. It takes too much effort on here then it would to just go to a club and pull.
Just like in real life, be like everyone else, your common. Stand out and you a freak. Typical British double standards. Americans are far more laxed and not as suck up, often the women are far prettier too.
Not double standards at all - if the roles were reversed and you could have your pick of anyone on the site (or a large proportion of it) which would you choose? The person who had the right attitude, an appealing profile and pictures and with whom you had a good connection and chemistry, or the person with a negative attitude, who moaned about others not wanting them, had a limited profile/pics?
If you say anything other than the first answer you're either lying or truly aren't fussy and would just have sex with anyone for the sake of it - neither of which are particularly appealing "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Plough on mate. You have to anticipate a response from 1 in every 200 messages sent.
In my experience couples or single fems are looking for a individual message that stands out. Make sure it is unique to the people/person you are sending it to.
Don’t get disheartened, it’s a bit of a game, it’s real life but it really isn’t (if that makes sense). So many great guys on here the women are very lucky so just keep plugging away. "
i see at less u get a reply  |
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By *hingy2Woman
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
"You've not asked for profile advice OP so I can't give any specifically about your profile but generically that's the first thing a lot of people will look at, even before reading a message, and decide if they're interested.
So ask yourself this - does your profile come across as interesting and enticing, giving the reader lots to go on about you, the kind of person you are and the kinds of things you're interested in, while also telling them what you think you can offer? Does it make you stand out from the crowd and have a decent set of pics that show you in your best light?
Be honest with yourself and if the answer to any of those questions is no - then there's your starting point
Also think about getting along to clubs or organised socials or even just getting more involved in the forums, which are all great ways of getting to know people and getting yourself known.
Good luck "
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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago
Paisley |
Try wearing a shirt or a brighter top. It’s difficult to see you properly when you wear black.
As others have probably said go to a club or a social and meet people.
A flat share isn’t ideal but your mate surely goes out sometimes or you could make an arrangement if you want it to yourself. |
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By *ANDA2Couple
over a year ago
Henley Arden |
"Sorry but feeling shit. Why does no one want to meet me. Am I a complete ugly bloke?
Expecting a bit of abuse but I'm old enough to take it
Thanks for any nice replies"
Why ?
Brutal honesty
Photos are awful quality- dark, fuzzy, lazy Etc. Just quick poor shots with no care being taken in the end result
Dreadful profile description- very very negative. Nothing to catch the interest if the reader.
Doesn’t really advertise you as an engaging person to meet. We wouldn’t spend two second at your profile.
You received so many views because you posted on the forum and people are curious to look.
Here’s our guide
We have met a few single guys and search profiles to see who we like to contact.
There’s no curse for friendly, articulate, engaging, respectful guys who really understand what Swinging is about.
You don’t have to brad Pitt, built like a pro sports man or hung like a horse.
Those who think it’s just a quick shag, do no basic research on how the swinging world operates and the dynamics will always struggle.
Why ? because they are not suited to the swinging world. Their mind set is out of kinter with what it’s all about. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It was a male friend who introduced me to swinging... He's been swinging for years and his exact words were "women rule the swinging world" he said it as a positive but the reality is you have to be incredibly strong and secure in yourself to swing whether you're male or female. |
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