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Read but not deleted?
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Evening all, I fully understand that, 'no reply' to a message/approach means, 'sorry not interested'. In some cases this is clear and unambiguous where my approach has been read and deleted - end of. BUT why are an equal number of messages 'read' but then left 'open'? Does this mean that they are perhaps, still under consideration?
In such cases I tend to add the recipients to my hot list in the hope that one day they might get back to me. Am I deluding myself? It has led to a rather long hotlist. Any thoughts appreciated. Thank you Alan
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Evening all, I fully understand that, 'no reply' to a message/approach means, 'sorry not interested'. In some cases this is clear and unambiguous where my approach has been read and deleted - end of. BUT why are an equal number of messages 'read' but then left 'open'? Does this mean that they are perhaps, still under consideration?
In such cases I tend to add the recipients to my hot list in the hope that one day they might get back to me. Am I deluding myself? It has led to a rather long hotlist. Any thoughts appreciated. Thank you Alan
"
what is the point of hotlisting? If they get back to you they get back to you, if they don't they don't. Awful waste of a hotlist.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Delete all sent messages so ya can't torture yourself over them regardless of what happens to them!"
I understand the OP, but this is the best way, stops you checking every 10mins to see if they have been read.
If they get back to you, that's when you can get excited |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
As others have said OP if you're going to cogitate on it best bet is to delete sent messages - a read but not deleted message can mean any number of things so best not to read anything into it other than your message has been read!! |
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Thanks all, the consensus is strongly in favour of deleting once read and thinning out my hot list. Can't say I have been 'torturing' myself over unanswered but read messages, I was more curious about whether this is yet another bit of Fab etiquette. I would have thought it would be more straight forward to have a 'thank you, but no thank you' button. Whatever, thank you again and time to spring clean my hotlist! |
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We don't reply for many reasons. Most not because and I repeat not because were not interested. Most because if sheer volume. A large whack because we have friend at the moment, lots because we are busy at the time and just on grabbing a quick peek, and when you do log back on sheer volume again, and lastly grabbing a quick look in bed when tbh were too tired to give a decent responce.
I think a lot of messages are just when they arrive and pot luck , depending on circumstance.
I will say if you message more than once over time it's quite flattering and says your deffo interested and prepared to wait....not bad qualities that in our case will end up with a reply and taking things forward. As is the case with current friend. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I hardly ever delete my messages.. if i was interested id reply right away.. just beacuse a message isnt deleted doesnt mean much really"
Ah but some men on here see it as a glimmer of hope 
I persoanlly block someone if I have had no repley after a day or so.
Saves me from bothering them again  |
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"I hardly ever delete my messages.. if i was interested id reply right away.. just beacuse a message isnt deleted doesnt mean much really"
Same with me. Sometimes I am just too lazy to delete my messages. I may wait and have a mass ckear out. If I was interested and you caught my eye you would get a reply. |
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"Delete all sent messages so ya can't torture yourself over them regardless of what happens to them!"
Exactly this; I have a two week limit on messages, either read or unread, I then just delete. If they come back to me fine, take it from there. If they read my message but choose to not respond, I pop a note in the private notes section to remind me what happened before, and save me sending any further messages |
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"Evening all, I fully understand that, 'no reply' to a message/approach means, 'sorry not interested'. In some cases this is clear and unambiguous where my approach has been read and deleted - end of. BUT why are an equal number of messages 'read' but then left 'open'? Does this mean that they are perhaps, still under consideration?
In such cases I tend to add the recipients to my hot list in the hope that one day they might get back to me. Am I deluding myself? It has led to a rather long hotlist. Any thoughts appreciated. Thank you Alan
"
You're Delusional for sure |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Delete all sent messages so ya can't torture yourself over them regardless of what happens to them!
Exactly this; I have a two week limit on messages, either read or unread, I then just delete. If they come back to me fine, take it from there. If they read my message but choose to not respond, I pop a note in the private notes section to remind me what happened before, and save me sending any further messages "
An excellent design for living in regard to messages sent, you should copy-write it and sell it on! |
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"Delete all sent messages so ya can't torture yourself over them regardless of what happens to them!
Exactly this; I have a two week limit on messages, either read or unread, I then just delete. If they come back to me fine, take it from there. If they read my message but choose to not respond, I pop a note in the private notes section to remind me what happened before, and save me sending any further messages
An excellent design for living in regard to messages sent, you should copy-write it and sell it on!"
Thank you! Hopefully posting in here will help others |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We often read messages, then don't bother deleting, for no other reason than laziness! 
Never thought about the sender reading anything into that... maybe need to make more of an effort to delete   "
Same here. |
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By *m3232Man
over a year ago
maidenhead |
It’s odd why people don’t just delete if not interested as it’s not exactly hard to delete on here is it.
Read delete =not interested to me.
Read but not delete should mean maybe interested but it now appears it means I am to lazy to tap the screen. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It’s odd why people don’t just delete if not interested as it’s not exactly hard to delete on here is it.
Read delete =not interested to me.
Read but not delete should mean maybe interested but it now appears it means I am to lazy to tap the screen. "
Why check your sent messages? If you message someone and they reply.. good if they dont.. move on.. its that simple, why should i have to delete somthing on MY profile if i dont want to? |
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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago
Hillside desolate |
"It’s odd why people don’t just delete if not interested as it’s not exactly hard to delete on here is it.
Read delete =not interested to me.
Read but not delete should mean maybe interested but it now appears it means I am to lazy to tap the screen. "
No it means I want to leave the message undeleted to piss off the people who dictate what I should do with messages |
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As the OP I wasn't in anyway suggesting that there should be a 'diktat' about how messages are answered but just trying to get a handle on the general etiquette. There are clearly different approaches and reasons for 'reading' but not 'deleting'. In future I will send my messages out 'into the ether' and leave it at that and should I be lucky enough to attract a response, add them to my hotlist at that time. Doubtless such a hotlist will be very small but as an older man and married (which I am up front about in my profile) I wouldn't expect queues to be forming anyway. Thanks all for your responses, and if you are interested in an older man............! |
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