FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Couples - which one of you does the messaging
Couples - which one of you does the messaging
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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For us it’s me, the male half, who answers most of the messages and does most of the communication on here. L, female, dips in for pics and meeting arrangements but steps back from the actual communication.
I’ve found many conversations with couples are with the male half too.
So couples do you both message or is it generally just one of you and if so which half ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We normally do messages relating to meets together, although I occasionally test the water if I think it isn't genuine.
I'm expected to do all my own apologising for forum posts alone though  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Shocked !
In our experience, and looking through our friends list, I could swear 75% of contact from couples is from the male half yet the first few answers on this thread suggest females are messaging much more.
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We both do i suppose if it general chat or similar. But tend to let V answer any mail that there might be an interest in to possible play. If then we want to move forward we go to kik/WhatsApp where we have group chat to talk and arrange. G |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Shocked !
In our experience, and looking through our friends list, I could swear 75% of contact from couples is from the male half yet the first few answers on this thread suggest females are messaging much more.
"
Is your friend's list a 'to-do list' or only couples you've met? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Always me (Pinky)  Magic gets to see everything on this tho. Tbh some peeps would probably be better with Magic responding because I am not slow in letting them know they have pissed me off  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Shocked !
In our experience, and looking through our friends list, I could swear 75% of contact from couples is from the male half yet the first few answers on this thread suggest females are messaging much more.
Is your friend's list a 'to-do list' or only couples you've met? "
Our friends list is a list of people we’ve met generally. We’re both straight and looking for full swap so meet similar couples. Maybe because we’re not looking for girl/girl that’s why we might be communicating with couples where guy is taking the lead. Don’t know it seems yet again we’re weird !  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" Don’t know it seems yet again we’re weird ! "
I'd also point out that the type of person one meets on the forum is probably not representative of the site as a whole.
Amongst forumites I'd say it was probably more often the women who contacted us first, on the wider site I'd say a slightly higher proportion of men. But in most cases I'd say both partners would have had a look before we were sent a message. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Me (Jane) who does all replying,chatting...well everything really
Hubby just flits on and off to perv at pics and/or catch up on messages
It is hubby who sorts out our profile though (pictures and what not) |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Shocked !
In our experience, and looking through our friends list, I could swear 75% of contact from couples is from the male half yet the first few answers on this thread suggest females are messaging much more.
Is your friend's list a 'to-do list' or only couples you've met?
Our friends list is a list of people we’ve met generally. We’re both straight and looking for full swap so meet similar couples. Maybe because we’re not looking for girl/girl that’s why we might be communicating with couples where guy is taking the lead. Don’t know it seems yet again we’re weird ! "
Of course having said this I will say we get very little communication from couples. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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" Don’t know it seems yet again we’re weird !
I'd also point out that the type of person one meets on the forum is probably not representative of the site as a whole.
Amongst forumites I'd say it was probably more often the women who contacted us first, on the wider site I'd say a slightly higher proportion of men. But in most cases I'd say both partners would have had a look before we were sent a message. "
Think you are right about the forum demographics. We are each see messages but most communication, we have found, is around ‘What you into?’, ‘Where do you normally meet?’, ‘Can you accommodate?’, etc. With those sort of messages and stock answers we don’t need both of use to vet and answer.
We could outsource our messaging to a third world country and save ourselves a ton of time! |
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Both of us can and do reply to messages but it's usually me (LB) that's hitting the keys even if P's sat beside me giving her input. It's only me that posts in the forums though and unless I show P a particular thread (or start sniggering while typing) she's usually oblivious to the shenanigans that go on in here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Both if we are together if not just depends who’s online but we generally both want to like what we see before either of us delve deep into conversation on our own |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's a mix with us. Sometimes more the male half. At the moment he is so busy with work that I am answering messages.
We have completely different styles. He is much more likely to just delete if we are not interested. Were I would give a polite no and sometimes a yes. Unfortunately with that I then spend to much time on fab 
S x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Shocked !
In our experience, and looking through our friends list, I could swear 75% of contact from couples is from the male half yet the first few answers on this thread suggest females are messaging much more.
Is your friend's list a 'to-do list' or only couples you've met?
Our friends list is a list of people we’ve met generally. We’re both straight and looking for full swap so meet similar couples. Maybe because we’re not looking for girl/girl that’s why we might be communicating with couples where guy is taking the lead. Don’t know it seems yet again we’re weird ! "
Surprised that you haven't realised that there is generally a disproportionate amount of women posting in the forums as well. And anyone posting a question should be aware that they are only getting replies from less than 1% of the site membership. In theory, the answers given to general questions are probably wrong! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am surprised by the number of women who say they do most of the messaging. I rarely get contacted by the lady half. The vast majority of mail, is male initiated. |
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The male (Will) exclusively. I'm sure I've set off a few people's "man pretending to be a couple" radar. Lizzy hasn't shown much interest in browsing the site as yet. I arrange any meets and she trusts my judgement. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Shocked !
In our experience, and looking through our friends list, I could swear 75% of contact from couples is from the male half yet the first few answers on this thread suggest females are messaging much more.
Is your friend's list a 'to-do list' or only couples you've met?
Our friends list is a list of people we’ve met generally. We’re both straight and looking for full swap so meet similar couples. Maybe because we’re not looking for girl/girl that’s why we might be communicating with couples where guy is taking the lead. Don’t know it seems yet again we’re weird !
Surprised that you haven't realised that there is generally a disproportionate amount of women posting in the forums as well. And anyone posting a question should be aware that they are only getting replies from less than 1% of the site membership. In theory, the answers given to general questions are probably wrong! "
We understand that the replies might be statistically wrong but in the absence of hard numbers it’s the best we have. Given that it’s mostly couples who answered you’d think it would be semi-accurate. Unless you assume that couples where the female messages are more likely to frequent the forums than couples where the male messages.
We asked because one couple asked ‘Are you both there?’. It was at 10am on a weekday so it was me, male, on mobile, at work. They seemed surprised it was just me and not L or both of us and got me wondering anecdotally who generally does the messaging for couples. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Always me Mike ..I have more time than Diane and more interest in the sites we are on..she just looks forward to the actually meets "
That’s very much us too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
We understand that the replies might be statistically wrong but in the absence of hard numbers it’s the best we have. Given that it’s mostly couples who answered you’d think it would be semi-accurate. Unless you assume that couples where the female messages are more likely to frequent the forums than couples where the male messages.
We asked because one couple asked ‘Are you both there?’. It was at 10am on a weekday so it was me, male, on mobile, at work. They seemed surprised it was just me and not L or both of us and got me wondering anecdotally who generally does the messaging for couples. "
I would assume that actually. Experience of here and forums elsewhere is that, disproportionately to the rest of the site' women's voices are more prominent and it might follow that couples where the women runs the account primarily reside here.
When we get asked 'are you both there' we automatically think it is a guy after some titillation!
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"Always me Mike ..I have more time than Diane and more interest in the sites we are on..she just looks forward to the actually meets
That’s very much us too"
Us also
Although after the initial first few messages are exchanged she does ocasionally poke her head in to say hi |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's always George. Mildred used to reply to messages but got bored of the sad messages guy's used to send so now I reply to all messages.
However mildred reads mostof the messages and pic's and has the final say on who where and when we meet |
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Mainly the male half here ... just time wise we only get online in the evening and generally I am online as get home late and it helps me wind down.
That said all replies are agreed by both and Lucy does get online herself occasionally so we both reply but definitely mostly Darren |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Male is on here most, and posting on the forums, although the female is present 95% of the time . Her is more in to the Cam and picture browsing side of the site.
With regards to messages, we both read them although the male filters out the crap, lazy and ignorant messages and replies to people we aren't interested in. It's a mutual decision who we message and wink. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Always me Mike ..I have more time than Diane and more interest in the sites we are on..she just looks forward to the actually meets
That’s very much us too
Us also
Although after the initial first few messages are exchanged she does ocasionally poke her head in to say hi"
We always discuss any messages of interest and meets and I show her any face pics too of the guy a possible meet might be forthcoming..but generally she is not interested in the swinging sites ..she leaves it all to me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I do most of the messaging, though hubby will flit in and out and join a conversation if it is going well. 9 times out of 10 I find I'm talking to a male and there is no female input at all, got to be honest I then consider she isn't all that interested, most of the time they barely mention their wives/partners. My time would be better off chatting to single males as there is a greater chance of that resulting in a meet.
I tend to stop all conversations where only the male chats fairly early on now theyve got a wife in their bed to chat to dirty too I'm tired of being their wank fodder. |
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We both send messages depending on who’s got the time. If one of us has been having the previous conversation though, then they tend to continue but the other might jump in.
I (David) tend to send more as I’m the chattier one, though occasionally I’ll get my replies proof read if I’ve tried to be funny  |
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We both message... In fact, I think that it isn't always obvious to the recipient which of us us sending the message - judging by some responses
We message on behalf of us both, so the sender usually puts their name first.
Nita |
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By *xycpl699Couple
over a year ago
kilmarnock |
"For us it’s me, the male half, who answers most of the messages and does most of the communication on here. L, female, dips in for pics and meeting arrangements but steps back from the actual communication.
I’ve found many conversations with couples are with the male half too.
So couples do you both message or is it generally just one of you and if so which half ? "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We take turns. Whoever is online at the time usually unless it's something we need to consider together. However we sign off as mr or mrs. The Exception is when single guys assume they are talking to mrs and say something like- you look fit. I'd smash that. To which either of us would reply as mr.
Mrs xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I do pretty much everything on here (female) he just goes along with my judgement. Most people assume it’s not me and address mail to him though. "
You have an impressive chest Mr Just! |
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"For us it’s me, the male half, who answers most of the messages and does most of the communication on here. L, female, dips in for pics and meeting arrangements but steps back from the actual communication.
I’ve found many conversations with couples are with the male half too.
So couples do you both message or is it generally just one of you and if so which half ? "
John does all the messaging apart from when Jill wants to flirt a little |
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Can be either one of us, plus we have developed a knack of being able to reply like a member of the opposite sex if necessary, especially if the male half of a couples profile decides to address all the comms to me (Red) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Usually Brad does but I’ve started to get more involved in messaging recently we always sign off with the name of which of us is messaging or with both if we are online together xx |
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By *MNJCouple
over a year ago
Nuneaton |
E (female) does 90% of our messaging, I get bored quickly of just swinger talk and end up talking about all sorts (cars, hobbies, travel etc) which E thinks is weird so I leave her to it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For us it’s me, the male half, who answers most of the messages and does most of the communication on here. L, female, dips in for pics and meeting arrangements but steps back from the actual communication.
I’ve found many conversations with couples are with the male half too.
So couples do you both message or is it generally just one of you and if so which half ? "
We're the same |
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Frank
and the wife has her own profile 