FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Talking to others in clubs
Talking to others in clubs
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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when we first joined the site i asked the question "is it ok to chat to people in a club without giving them the wrong idea".
And as common sense would tell you its OK to chat to anybody and walk around with a big happy smile, just because your friendly and chatty does not mean that your going to play.
Just a shame when couples take the hump because you didn't want to go any further, and they make you feel like you wasted there night by not playing.
Don't worry it wont change us, we will still talk to every tom dick and harry in the club because that's who we are and wont let anybody change that.
Perhaps its just us we don't feel as if we have to play every time we go to a club the social side of it for us is what we find the biggest buzz lol.
Just to mention if we have no intention of playing we won't flirt or lead the couple on.
were just friendly people and we have many couples in the club that we chat to and we enjoy making new friends.
see you all this weekend  xxxx
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I totally agree with you, that the social side of swinging is as important as the sex side. When I go to a club, I'm not gonna 'target' just those that I want to play with, I chat to everyone. Just like in the chatrooms here, I'll chat to everyone, not just those I hope to meet.
One thing I try to do in clubs, though, is to move on after about 15 minutes if I don't want to play. I say something like "I'd better let you mingle" or "I'd better not hog your company", then I go introduce myself to someone new. This avoids any mismatched expectations, whilst leaving the door open for future social chats and for a friendship to develop. |
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Generally try and mingle social wise, some places its easy, others I've encountered closed circles that are hard to break into.
Surprising how many couples sitting quietly in the corner are fairly new and not used to a club or being to any before. So try to answer any questions, and just be friendly.
Never really chat to people as a means to play, wait for that until I get the little smile across the room, or they drag me off kicking and screaming. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I totally agree with you, that the social side of swinging is as important as the sex side. When I go to a club, I'm not gonna 'target' just those that I want to play with, I chat to everyone. Just like in the chatrooms here, I'll chat to everyone, not just those I hope to meet.
One thing I try to do in clubs, though, is to move on after about 15 minutes if I don't want to play. I say something like "I'd better let you mingle" or "I'd better not hog your company", then I go introduce myself to someone new. This avoids any mismatched expectations, whilst leaving the door open for future social chats and for a friendship to develop."
Great advice thankyou x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sunnyoptimist is quite right...100%
Most people who are swingers are normal and down to earth folk, they don't want to be banging away all the time at someone they have just met. I'm sure most people enjoy meeting others, and by talking and mingling you can sort out the one's that you do fancy...from the rest. How else are we to find out those who we want to do more than chat with? That "spark" has to be there. So, the social side of swinging is a fundamental part of the experience which makes it altogether much more...enjoyable! |
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i never shut up...and chat away in clubs,i am glad one or two bad mannered people have not caused you to be put off.Remember by enjoying the social side of swinging too you are having a better time than the grumps. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I totally agree with you, that the social side of swinging is as important as the sex side. When I go to a club, I'm not gonna 'target' just those that I want to play with, I chat to everyone. Just like in the chatrooms here, I'll chat to everyone, not just those I hope to meet.
One thing I try to do in clubs, though, is to move on after about 15 minutes if I don't want to play. I say something like "I'd better let you mingle" or "I'd better not hog your company", then I go introduce myself to someone new. This avoids any mismatched expectations, whilst leaving the door open for future social chats and for a friendship to develop."
I like that technique.
Sometimes it's hard to interpret others feelings even when chatting. Misinterpretations of what is not said are greater than the sum of their parts, and it just reminds me what a delicate flower this scene is.
Wolf
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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for me chams is my total destress for the month I go more for the atmosphere and yes chat and if sex happens then that's a bonus. Love chilling and having a chat in the jacuzzi or upstairs on deck. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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we chat to everyone and dont expect people to play with us or us with them unless we really click which often happens. friendly chatty people are more on our wavelength. But if someone drop down hottie will shag em if they ask nicely lol( i wish )possibly be there sat late afternoon early eve lol  |
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By *BW38jWoman
over a year ago
Dudley/Telford |
"when we first joined the site i asked the question "is it ok to chat to people in a club without giving them the wrong idea".
And as common sense would tell you its OK to chat to anybody and walk around with a big happy smile, just because your friendly and chatty does not mean that your going to play.
Just a shame when couples take the hump because you didn't want to go any further, and they make you feel like you wasted there night by not playing.
Don't worry it wont change us, we will still talk to every tom dick and harry in the club because that's who we are and wont let anybody change that.
Perhaps its just us we don't feel as if we have to play every time we go to a club the social side of it for us is what we find the biggest buzz lol.
Just to mention if we have no intention of playing we won't flirt or lead the couple on.
were just friendly people and we have many couples in the club that we chat to and we enjoy making new friends.
see you all this weekend xxxx
"
sometimes i quite like the relaxing chatting of the bus stop or the bar in darlaston.
if i get some fun thn thats a bonus but a nice chat sat around semi naked is surreal and fun |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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we feel quite nervous bout going to a club( been busy with family,for months) dont know what to expect, obviously all are different how they treat newbies? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I dont think i'd go if i couldnt chat to every tom dick and happy lol
Like most i'll chat to anyone but ive also had some wierd comments when turning down someone ive spoken to
I remember talking to a guy once and when he asked me if i wanted to go to a room and i said no thanks he asked...well what you come here for then? lol
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Social Side in the club scene is hugely important to many people. If a couple gets the hump with you because you don't want to play, that says more about their attitude and perceptions of the Scene than it does about yours.
Newbies will certainly appreciate the conversation, we always go out of our way to talk to new people at clubs, regardless of if they are our type or not. If you like your club and want it to continue to be a good place, then you have an inherent responsability to make as friendly and as appealing as possible without being over bearing. Some people are great at this, others not so, but some people are just more confident and natural talkers than others. |
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