FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Tolerance of others
Tolerance of others
Jump to: Newest in thread
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Reading the thread entitled 'Mr Floopy' (sic!) I began wondering about how tolerant we are towards others when it comes to sexual performance?
After all, we are all different. For example, some men can find it difficult to have an erection, some men and women cum lots or not at all, some get turned on easily or take time etc., etc.
How tolerant are we of others? Do we see people on Fab as sex machines or people just hoping for some sexual fun? Can people realistically live up to the fiction promoted by the porn industry?
Does this just lead to some people feeling inadequate through 'underperformance' (whether that's an inability to get hard, cum or faking orgasms etc?).
How tolerant are we bearing in mind that our own sexual abilities could change at any time? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I was tolerant with ex in a marriage for many years.But if i was meeting a man off fab who had talked how good he is and how many times he can perform .Then on meet this didn't happen and couldn't perform ,I wouldnt be awful but id feel he had been a disappointment and would never meet again.I think it's best to be honest and feel relaxed with someone .Think this is the problem with some men .rush into things if not turned on it won't work . |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I was tolerant with ex in a marriage for many years.But if i was meeting a man off fab who had talked how good he is and how many times he can perform .Then on meet this didn't happen and couldn't perform ,I wouldnt be awful but id feel he had been a disappointment and would never meet again.I think it's best to be honest and feel relaxed with someone .Think this is the problem with some men .rush into things if not turned on it won't work ."
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
This is why I like no pressure meets.
More relaxed the more likely something good will happen.
But if something unexpected happens then it's cool.
Felt so sorry for a guy I recently met, been building up to this meet this guy for months.
Finally got my hands on him, he was gorgeous. Ticked all my boxes.
But then nerves and pressure got the better of him.
He was mortified obviously, I was flattered I had that effect on him to be fair.
These things happen, and I didn't want him feeling bad about it.
Meeting him again when i'm back in his area |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"This is why I like no pressure meets.
More relaxed the more likely something good will happen.
But if something unexpected happens then it's cool.
Felt so sorry for a guy I recently met, been building up to this meet this guy for months.
Finally got my hands on him, he was gorgeous. Ticked all my boxes.
But then nerves and pressure got the better of him.
He was mortified obviously, I was flattered I had that effect on him to be fair.
These things happen, and I didn't want him feeling bad about it.
Meeting him again when i'm back in his area "
That's a very caring approach too! I'm sure the next meet will be better. Quite often guys are under huge pressure because of the expectations to deliver all of a lady's dreams! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Some people are more tolerant than others. There's a fair amount of intolerance about in general."
I'm afraid that's so true ... and the irony is that it's self-defeating. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
The focus of the replies has been on men's performance so far. But what about the lady's? Perhaps having an 'off day' or finding it hard to orgasm? Is faking as bad as a guy failing to lift off?! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ransGuyTV/TS
over a year ago
Cardiff |
I'm pretty realistic about sex, sometimes our bodies just won't do what we want them to. Mine has a really annoying habit of getting me to reach the edge of an orgasm and then making all the arousal fuck off! I'm left there all "What the fuck just happened? Where did that go?!"
I have no problems if a fella struggles to stay hard, it happens, just need to relax and try to get his mind off the weird male attitude of "I MUST perform, and it MUST be the BEST sex EVER or else I'm a failure" (seriously guys LISTEN to us when we say just relax and enjoy yourself). If he allows himself to relax then all is good, if he won't let go then I know nothing is going to happen so it's time for "Fancy a cup of tea and chill or would you like to call it a day? No pressure, I'm easy either way".
What does annoy me, and I've been caught a couple of times with this - guys who KNOW they can't get hard at all. Bloody say so then! If they can't get hard then there is no point us meeting as I need penetration or else it's a complete waste of my time. Disappointing, limp wanks are not enjoyable for me. So if I'm making all that effort to meet someone who knows that is all they can do, nope, sorry, I will be pissed off.
It's one of the reasons why I don't mind cock pics, especially when it's clear it's attached to their body (instead of just a pic of what could be anyone's cock), it shows there is at least a chance of a good hard on! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The focus of the replies has been on men's performance so far. But what about the lady's? Perhaps having an 'off day' or finding it hard to orgasm? Is faking as bad as a guy failing to lift off?!"
I've never heard it considered to be a performance issue if a woman can't get in to sex in exactly the same way a man can't. Really though, unless someone is completely and utterly selfish, it just needs to be put down to experience in my opinion. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The focus of the replies has been on men's performance so far. But what about the lady's? Perhaps having an 'off day' or finding it hard to orgasm? Is faking as bad as a guy failing to lift off?!"
I’ve never met a guy who is intolerant of the fact that nobody can make me orgasm. I don’t need to fake it though, I just bring my rabbit to finish me off.
Mrs |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"This is why I like no pressure meets.
More relaxed the more likely something good will happen.
But if something unexpected happens then it's cool.
Felt so sorry for a guy I recently met, been building up to this meet this guy for months.
Finally got my hands on him, he was gorgeous. Ticked all my boxes.
But then nerves and pressure got the better of him.
He was mortified obviously, I was flattered I had that effect on him to be fair.
These things happen, and I didn't want him feeling bad about it.
Meeting him again when i'm back in his area "
My reg fb was nervous the 1st time we met and left feeling mortified. He mailed me later apologising and asking if he could make it up to me. Months down the line it's the best sex iv ever had. Just 1st time nerves x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The focus of the replies has been on men's performance so far. But what about the lady's? Perhaps having an 'off day' or finding it hard to orgasm? Is faking as bad as a guy failing to lift off?!" I rarely, if ever orgasm on meets. Never had guys complain.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This is why I like no pressure meets.
More relaxed the more likely something good will happen.
But if something unexpected happens then it's cool.
Felt so sorry for a guy I recently met, been building up to this meet this guy for months.
Finally got my hands on him, he was gorgeous. Ticked all my boxes.
But then nerves and pressure got the better of him.
He was mortified obviously, I was flattered I had that effect on him to be fair.
These things happen, and I didn't want him feeling bad about it.
Meeting him again when i'm back in his area
That's a very caring approach too! I'm sure the next meet will be better. Quite often guys are under huge pressure because of the expectations to deliver all of a lady's dreams!"
That's because it's my nature to care, words and attitudes towards another can have a powerful effect on emotional wellbeing.
And yes he put an awful amount of pressure on himself, he was nervous. Hopefully he'll be more relaxed next time...
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This is why I like no pressure meets.
More relaxed the more likely something good will happen.
But if something unexpected happens then it's cool.
Felt so sorry for a guy I recently met, been building up to this meet this guy for months.
Finally got my hands on him, he was gorgeous. Ticked all my boxes.
But then nerves and pressure got the better of him.
He was mortified obviously, I was flattered I had that effect on him to be fair.
These things happen, and I didn't want him feeling bad about it.
Meeting him again when i'm back in his area
My reg fb was nervous the 1st time we met and left feeling mortified. He mailed me later apologising and asking if he could make it up to me. Months down the line it's the best sex iv ever had. Just 1st time nerves x "
Aww I'm glad all was well. I have no doubt things will be fine next time... He's worth the time and effort.
Over a week later and he's messaged me everyday so he's still very keen |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ieman300Man
over a year ago
Best Greggs in Cheshire East |
"I was tolerant with ex in a marriage for many years.But if i was meeting a man off fab who had talked how good he is and how many times he can perform .Then on meet this didn't happen and couldn't perform ,I wouldnt be awful but id feel he had been a disappointment and would never meet again.I think it's best to be honest and feel relaxed with someone .Think this is the problem with some men .rush into things if not turned on it won't work ."
If we met and i got mr floopy (sic) could i just rest my head in your lovely big boobies |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I was tolerant with ex in a marriage for many years.But if i was meeting a man off fab who had talked how good he is and how many times he can perform .Then on meet this didn't happen and couldn't perform ,I wouldnt be awful but id feel he had been a disappointment and would never meet again.I think it's best to be honest and feel relaxed with someone .Think this is the problem with some men .rush into things if not turned on it won't work .
If we met and i got mr floopy (sic) could i just rest my head in your lovely big boobies "
My pillows |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ieman300Man
over a year ago
Best Greggs in Cheshire East |
"I was tolerant with ex in a marriage for many years.But if i was meeting a man off fab who had talked how good he is and how many times he can perform .Then on meet this didn't happen and couldn't perform ,I wouldnt be awful but id feel he had been a disappointment and would never meet again.I think it's best to be honest and feel relaxed with someone .Think this is the problem with some men .rush into things if not turned on it won't work .
If we met and i got mr floopy (sic) could i just rest my head in your lovely big boobies
My pillows "
That's them aye |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I was tolerant with ex in a marriage for many years.But if i was meeting a man off fab who had talked how good he is and how many times he can perform .Then on meet this didn't happen and couldn't perform ,I wouldnt be awful but id feel he had been a disappointment and would never meet again.I think it's best to be honest and feel relaxed with someone .Think this is the problem with some men .rush into things if not turned on it won't work .
If we met and i got mr floopy (sic) could i just rest my head in your lovely big boobies
My pillows
That's them aye "
Sometimes can poke eyes out |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
It can be tough to perform sometimes, especially if the lady is quite demanding. I knew a lady that used to get really offended if you lost your hard on which fucks with your head and makes things 10 times worse.
We aren’t machines and having pressure in a situation makes it worse whether it’s pressure from yourself and own head or pressure from a partner.
Can be more so in a mfm situation too.
There’s loads you can do that’s not just penatrative sex so if mr wigglys chilling for the time being I’ll be making sure the girl will be orgasming using my fingers and tongue.
Best thing a guy can do is concentrate on pleasing the other person and the best thing a girl can do is to not put pressure on the guy to perform and it’ll all work out and end in a great time. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If it's just nsa sex, pretty intolerant to be honest!
"
Same, although it depends on how he was with the situation.
If he ended the meet cause he couldn't get perform then I probably wouldn't meet him again but he was happy to play around and do other stuff I'd probably consider a 2nd meet.
Meeting is just as nervous for men as it is for women sometimes so it's not unusual a man might be let down by his friend.
I met a guy who came in 4/5 thrusts but he'd told me beforehand that he hasn't had sex for a while so it was expected. But he gave me the best orgasm I've ever had through oral so defo wouldn't rule out another meet |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic