FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > "But I'm willing to travel"

"But I'm willing to travel"

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I regularly turn people down on the basis of distance, as I'm looking for someone I can see casually but regularly. Occasionally get the comment that they are willing to travel.

I always wonder if that's because nobody nearer will see them! Am I being really unfair? Its a bloody long way for a social in most cases, and would need to arrange a hotel room. Not sure if I'm being mean or protecting myself from them being disappointed in me

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I get this a lot when using tell men they are too far away, they reply " but I can travel" , then I have to tell them I don't host. Next they want a hotel, I,m not keen on that. Or car sex but it's brass monkeys outside and car sex is dodgy XXX

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *irky_coupleCouple over a year ago

kirky

It's your life. Do what you feel comfortable with.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If both parties are keen, travelling shouldn't be an issue. My partner lives over 200+ miles away and we make it work.

Plus there's trains

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *rimson_RoseWoman over a year ago

Tamworth

I'm the same. I also prefer to meet on more than a one off basis. I don't want to be someone's entertainment while he's sat in a hotel. Plus, for the ones who are traveling purely for a meet - that's a lot of pressure, how uncomfortable to say 'no sorry, you're not for me' after ra 100mile trip!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *heHookyMonsterMan over a year ago

Liverpool

In my case I literally AM willing to travel for the right woman. I see it as time well spent on quality. I do an awful lot of miles with my job and as a result it feels like a two hour trip is more like an hour. No offence intended but I do wonder if you ladies sometimes undervalue yourselves, or are possibly over-cynical on the flip side. If you like a guy then give him a chance - it may be that he thinks you're worth it!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *uzie69xTV/TS over a year ago

Maidstone

"Its a bloody long way for a social in most cases"

Men are driven (by testosterone) - especially so if they think a bit of nookie is possible. I know some self-confessed "high sex drive" guys won't think twice about driving 50 or 60 miles just for a good squirt. And then again home.

You seem to do well on your veri's. Steady as you go... so I think you're on the right tracks there gf... Let them cum if you like them, and they want to... you're worth every mile.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *lackbird1000Woman over a year ago

Birmingham

We are all diferent some people don't like to shit near their door step. Others are way to work or others like you and would like to meet you . What you mean by protecting yourself ? Is not you traveling you will be near home , so nothing to lose. Don't make any arrangements if you never meet them . They can make the arrangements if you are happy to meet . X

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *heHookyMonsterMan over a year ago

Liverpool

" If both parties are keen, travelling shouldn't be an issue. My partner lives over 200+ miles away and we make it work.

Plus there's trains

This definitely! If you're worth it in someone's eyes they'll get to wherever you are.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

we did it once, many years ago...agreed to meet someone from a fairly long way away. He was so keen and drove for over 2 hours. He wasnt what he'd portrayed himself as in pictures and messages and not as bi as he'd assured us he was either but we felt under such an obligation, we didn't turn him away as we would do now. It showed us the absolute benefit of doing better homework, always insisting on a social first and not meeting people from miles away unless it's at a club...

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I guess for us, we got to know oneanother before we met. Even if there hadn't been a spark there, I knew we'd get on and have a good laugh together plus I got to sightsee another place in the UK.

For me, it would never be a wasted journey

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *rimson_RoseWoman over a year ago

Tamworth

" If both parties are keen, travelling shouldn't be an issue. My partner lives over 200+ miles away and we make it work.

Plus there's trains

This definitely! If you're worth it in someone's eyes they'll get to wherever you are."

There are exceptions of course

but for me these are only for the people who are happy to chat for a while first then make mutual arrangements.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *inful xWoman over a year ago

In a sleepy little village

When I was on here previously I did meet someone who travelled a fair way to meet me. Unfortunately it didn't last long so I wouldn't do it again as it's not what I'm looking for now.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Thanks for all the comments, appreciate the advice. If someone truly lovely but far is interested, I think I'll do a bit more chatting on phone to get to know them better than I might for a local meet x

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

As I told someone last week, I'm not worth travelling three hours for. I see myself more as a 45mins - 1hr level of girl. Anyone proposing to travel enormous distances to see me is worryingly short of a sense of perspective. I'm good, but not that good.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"As I told someone last week, I'm not worth travelling three hours for. I see myself more as a 45mins - 1hr level of girl. Anyone proposing to travel enormous distances to see me is worryingly short of a sense of perspective. I'm good, but not that good."

For the right person, you're worth any distance

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If its the right person if it's that connection that makes everything worth it then the distance doesn't matter...

Where there's a will there is always a way....

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The problem can be - speaking from experience - is that I've had guys insist on travelling 50+ miles to meet me "for a drink" (my words) and then get sulky, demanding or even abusive because they didn't get anything sexual out of it.

So now I would be incredibly wary about their expectations.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I regularly turn people down on the basis of distance, as I'm looking for someone I can see casually but regularly. Occasionally get the comment that they are willing to travel.

I went 50+ miles for a social and met the love of my life now we’re 79 days away from saying I do Geeky thouoi lived too far but gave it a go and I’m glad she did

Ads

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ames1763Man over a year ago

Aberdeen

We are not all looking for the same things, some people are looking for a relationship and marriage, people like me are just looking for fun. Swinging is just a recreational activity to me.

I don't take it seriously at all ,so I can travel a long distance to a new city, I will travel to attend a party ,meet and play with friends. I will also make new friends and meet new people.

So I don't think distance is an issue, everything in the lifestyle is just recreation to me, including the forums.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm exactly the same.

I won't even speak to someone who's far away never mind arrange a meet. I don't want to feel obliged to sleep with someone because they travelled x amount of miles to get to me

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm exactly the same.

I won't even speak to someone who's far away never mind arrange a meet. I don't want to feel obliged to sleep with someone because they travelled x amount of miles to get to me "

Agree. Too much pressure.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Exactly I've had people refuse a meet because I'm too far away, even when I say that I don't mind driving. I'm not desperate, see my veris. If I find someone attractive and sexy, then I don't mind the distance

For the right person, you're worth any distance

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

For the right person, you're worth any distance

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It's your life. Do what you feel comfortable with. "

I agree

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *teveanddebsCouple over a year ago

Norwich

When I was single I used to plan weekends away at least once, sometimes twice a month. Usually around a club or munch on the Saturday night with a play meet or social on the Friday. That way the person (or people) that you were meeting friday could be asked to the Saturday 'do' if everyone was happy. If the Friday meet was a washout there was always Saturday to look forward to.

Steve

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Im willing to travel. Travelled down south. Up to scotland all over the country for meets. Opens up doors rather than limiting me to meeting locally.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *risky_MareWoman over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

I've let people travel a couple hundred miles to meet me - there needs to be a special connection, or someone really insistent they want to if it's just for a social!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I travelled a long way once after chatting a lot and the lady didn't show up even though the social meet was local to her ... no message or apology, nothing.

So guys, just be careful too!

I went to B&Q though so not a totally wasted trip lol!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *oftandGentle2Couple over a year ago

leeds

"In my case I literally AM willing to travel for the right woman. I see it as time well spent on quality. I do an awful lot of miles with my job and as a result it feels like a two hour trip is more like an hour. No offence intended but I do wonder if you ladies sometimes undervalue yourselves, or are possibly over-cynical on the flip side. If you like a guy then give him a chance - it may be that he thinks you're worth it!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Just because someone says they are willing to travel doesn't automatically make them desperate all depends on what they are used too.

I regularly drive between 120 and 150 miles a day for work so I wouldn't consider 40 / 50 miles away to be a problem, as that's the kind of distance I'm used too.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *inky-MinxWoman over a year ago

Grantham

I've had guys drive 3 hours just for coffee. I tell them it's too far but sometimes they insist.

In reality the UK is not a big place and the right people can make distance work

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *layfullsamMan over a year ago

Solihull

I think it's often wrongly assumed you're married if you're happy to travel,

In my case I travel for work a lot and I'm often in hotels 3 times a week so the travel wouldn't specifically be to see someone 100 plus miles away as I'm in the area anyway

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I find it a bit dismissive when I say "Sorry you're too far" and they say "But I don't mind". It's like, thanks but whether or not you mind wasn't my concern. Same when I say I won't accommodate because of living in a tiny bedsit and they reply "but I don't mind". Yes, thanks for that.

It seems dismissive to me, insensitive to what I might feel about anything.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It's very unlikely someone will travel miles and book a hotel room, so I say no thanks and don't explain.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We’ve had a lot of people grumble once they’ve done the drive and realised how far we are. But they always start off saying they don’t mind. So we are a bit careful now if someone is far away - intentions are always good initially.

Mrs

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *oiluvfunMan over a year ago

Penrith

"It's very unlikely someone will travel miles and book a hotel room"

It depends who you speak to

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *dwalu2Couple over a year ago

Bristol

We would (and have) travelled a long way for meets, and we’re certainly not desperate. We like adventures, simple as that really!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I get this a lot when using tell men they are too far away, they reply " but I can travel" , then I have to tell them I don't host. Next they want a hotel, I,m not keen on that. Or car sex but it's brass monkeys outside and car sex is dodgy XXX"
this is the story of my life

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *evonshireboyMan over a year ago

North Devon

I've traveled to Kent (about 5hrs drive) for a meet. Arranged it around work commitments.

Now have a regular meet about every six weeks which is 3.5 hours drive from home.

So distance need not be a barrier

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *itmanAndHerrCouple over a year ago

st helens

We don't mind a road trip. Nothing wrong with a little adventure. Our last meet was a 45min drive and we'll certainly see her again. Distance doesn't make it a one off.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Im willing to travel. Travelled down south. Up to scotland all over the country for meets. Opens up doors rather than limiting me to meeting locally. "

That's what clubs are for! Maximises the chances of meeting someone you find attractive too. A Godsend for someone as choosy as me. I would hate turn down someone who'd travelled hours just to meet me.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Im willing to travel. Travelled down south. Up to scotland all over the country for meets. Opens up doors rather than limiting me to meeting locally.

to turn down

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *iss.ddWoman over a year ago

Leeds + Newcastle

I have my specific reasons for only asking for locals. If people outside of that can't respect my needs, then I'm not willing to meet. Regardless of how far THEY are willing to travel.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We had a guy contact us on another site saying he is willing to travel ..after me pointing out we are in Salford and he was in Glasgow ..so thats a 400+mile round trip..it was not even like he was working in our area or visiting folk..that's just silly..unless he was lying on where he actually lives ..if so it backfired on him

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I guess for us, we got to know oneanother before we met. Even if there hadn't been a spark there, I knew we'd get on and have a good laugh together plus I got to sightsee another place in the UK.

For me, it would never be a wasted journey

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I've let people travel a couple hundred miles to meet me - there needs to be a special connection, or someone really insistent they want to if it's just for a social!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I find it a bit dismissive when I say "Sorry you're too far" and they say "But I don't mind". It's like, thanks but whether or not you mind wasn't my concern. Same when I say I won't accommodate because of living in a tiny bedsit and they reply "but I don't mind". Yes, thanks for that.

It seems dismissive to me, insensitive to what I might feel about anything."

So much this!! "Sorry you're too far away" means no thank you. Respect that.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *iss.ddWoman over a year ago

Leeds + Newcastle

It seems dismissive to me, insensitive to what I might feel about anything.

So much this!! "Sorry you're too far away" means no thank you. Respect that."

I agree too!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *avid1234555Man over a year ago

Dfs and Galloway/Ayrshire.

Distance and travel time are all relative; I stay in a very rural and unpopulated area so for day to day living (ie going to "good" shops/retail outlets/cinema even) I travel an hour and a half and accept this as being one of the prices of living in a great part of Scotland. For me potential Fab meets have to be considered in much the same way, so travelling to a meet (always social first) is a given. Also my hour and half usually can get me 70-80 miles down the road whereas in a more congested area it might get you 30-40 miles.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *oiluvfunMan over a year ago

Penrith

"We would (and have) travelled a long way for meets, and we’re certainly not desperate. We like adventures, simple as that really!"

Exactly this

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *estinysswingersCouple over a year ago

Worsley

[Removed by poster at 10/01/18 08:11:34]

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *iss GalitzineWoman over a year ago

Near Bath

Maybe have a few video chats on kix or Skype. At least then you have a better idea of how you feel.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Chatting to a guy on a Saturday night, met the next day for a social halfway between us having both travelled an hour. Next time we met I picked him up from the station after he had spent two hours on the train and we had a wonderful weekend together. It worked because it felt right from the start

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ancastermanMan over a year ago

carnforth

My frustration is when I'm told that under an hours drive is too far.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Travelling can add to the excitement

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *iss_tressWoman over a year ago

London

I prefer local as I don't want people travelling for hours to meet me all hot and sweaty.

I also prefer regular, spontaneous meets.

That said I had a playmate in Wilmslow I'd travel to: we'd make a weekend of it.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I regularly turn people down on the basis of distance, as I'm looking for someone I can see casually but regularly. Occasionally get the comment that they are willing to travel.

Possibly a little of both? Which is no bad thing

I’ve always been open to travelling (within reason) for the right partner - everyone uses Fab in different ways & if a connection beyond simply the physical one is important to you, sometimes you have to put in a little extra effort to find it. Don’t be quick to dismiss those willing to travel - but also trust your instincts! Good luck

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Ido not have an issue with travelling or even someone travelling to me,I once arranged meet with a "couple" drove 120 miles which in its self wasn't an issue as i arranged work around it,arrived was asked to park up and wait for call,apparently one of their children did not want to go to school,in the end He suggested we meet just MM,turned him down was a bit miffed but that`s swinging.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think you're selling yourself short.

However I see myself as a half hour kind of girl and get confused if anyone wants to travel. It's a bit sad wevery all got such crappy confidence really.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

" If both parties are keen, travelling shouldn't be an issue. My partner lives over 200+ miles away and we make it work.

Plus there's trains

"
holly molly 200 miles

15 miles is maxi for me i wouldn't travel for anyone further to have a coffee or sex

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Furtherest I'll travel personally is 45 mins which even then will only be to someone who I've speaking to for a while.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Not sure what furtherest is lol I meant furthest

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *evaquitCouple over a year ago

Catthorpe

All of our meets are 80 miles plus as we don't meet anyone local. We've not always played but we make a weekend of the area we're in and we don't make the meet the be and end all, it's one thing we have planned to do.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

" If both parties are keen, travelling shouldn't be an issue. My partner lives over 200+ miles away and we make it work.

Plus there's trains

holly molly 200 miles

15 miles is maxi for me i wouldn't travel for anyone further to have a coffee or sex "

15 miles? Is that an exact specification?

As I said earlier though, if you've a great connection before, it's worth it. Just look at it like a mini adventure and have a day or two away

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *inky SpiceWoman over a year ago

Glasgow

I don't see distance as an issue, not if I've spent the time to get to know a person first over the phone and on Skype. I've spent many hours chatting on the phone (9 hours was the longest) and skyped so I can see what he looks like, and I've travelled over 500 miles to meet someone and had a few travel 400 plus miles to meet me. Don't ever think you're not worth it, it's up to the other person to decide that for themselves.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *inky SpiceWoman over a year ago

Glasgow

"Distance and travel time are all relative; I stay in a very rural and unpopulated area so for day to day living (ie going to "good" shops/retail outlets/cinema even) I travel an hour and a half and accept this as being one of the prices of living in a great part of Scotland. For me potential Fab meets have to be considered in much the same way, so travelling to a meet (always social first) is a given. Also my hour and half usually can get me 70-80 miles down the road whereas in a more congested area it might get you 30-40 miles. "

Same

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Travelling can add to the excitement

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ackDMissMorganCouple over a year ago

Halifax

I think if they travel near to me reguarly ie for work ,that would be different to someone travelling a fair distance just to meet us.

Like someone else said,we wouldnt want to feel that they expected more than a social meet.Plus if there was no chemistry ,we would feel awful that they travelled so far.

Miss

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

im a travellerer , and a hotel booker if the said like a hotel meet.

i always stipulate even though im travelling lets call it a social , even if its to there home .they might not find me there type or vice versa.

so travel , meet , social and if it stays a social no harm done as that was the agreement.

if im booking a hotel i do it on my phone after we have met ..

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *octor DeleriumMan over a year ago

Wellingborough

"I've had guys drive 3 hours just for coffee. I tell them it's too far but sometimes they insist.

In reality the UK is not a big place and the right people can make distance work

Not a big place, indeed, but so flipping congested that 3 hours can equate to 10 miles on the M5, if there are roadworks and a couple of cars interlock.

That said, I don't mind travelling, I'm perfectly happy to find myself in a decent hotel, and a social is exactly that.

Dr Marigold Delerium

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ophieslutTV/TS over a year ago

Central

I get that for some people each of us will be an incredibly special rarity - they sense that they like us to an unusual extent. But a matching level of extraordinary interest may not exist in return. If it did, distance would be inconvenient but probably fine for a fb relationship, where one commits to the travel initially.

It's less probable that there is mutually high levels of interest imo and the fact that people easily are different once met leads me to generally decline interest from several hours away.

I have different tastes for casuals than romantic partners and think it wiser for me to keep casual meets so that I'm minimizing the potential complexity and stress load.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm exactly the same.

I won't even speak to someone who's far away never mind arrange a meet. I don't want to feel obliged to sleep with someone because they travelled x amount of miles to get to me "

Me too

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Where we live "willing to travel " is a challenge. The guys who do make it here are always well taken care of as we do understand the journey they have made.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I've had a man travel miles to meet me. We spoke at length before he booked a hotel for the night. I was worried but we had an amazing social which did end well. It was completely no pressure. I would deffo meet someone from a distance again if we clicked x

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *sGivesWoodWoman over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"I'm exactly the same.

I won't even speak to someone who's far away never mind arrange a meet. I don't want to feel obliged to sleep with someone because they travelled x amount of miles to get to me

Me too

20 mins is the maximum I'd travel. I drive all day for work so not willing to do even more in my spare time.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I regularly turn people down on the basis of distance, as I'm looking for someone I can see casually but regularly. Occasionally get the comment that they are willing to travel.

We agree with you, we won’t travel much over 20 miles. There are plenty of people close enough.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *itmanAndHerrCouple over a year ago

st helens

On our first ever fab meet, the lady in question travelled over an hour on the train to spend the night with us. We offered to travel to her but she preferred to be away from her home town and like us she enjoyed the adventure.

Very brave of her considering we had no verifications but i suppose if you get on well enough with someone beforehand then it installs the confidence that you won't have a wasted journey.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *rmskirk360Woman over a year ago

Wigan

I want someone local. I want someone for long term fun that I can get to know and play with without it needing to be planned to the nth degree around work and other commitments. Fair play to those that enjoy the travel, but it's not for me.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

» Add a new message to this topic