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Swinging dilemma

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Ok I want some advice on this. I met someone on swinging scene few months back and we have been going to clubs together. I’m always happy for her to play with any guy she likes in clubs, gangbangs,one to one etc as long as she is happy but whenever I like someone and wants to play. She doesn’t like it and I end up not playing with them.Which leaves me frustrated and annoyed. Does any of you guys or couples have this kind of issues. If yes how you dealt with it. Serious replies please.

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By *iversong321Woman  over a year ago

Preston/Merseyside

She isn't a swinger. Sounds like she wants a relationship. If it's not for you - run!!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Seems very unfair and one-sided to me. Why do you put up with it?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Seems very unfair and one-sided to me. Why do you put up with it? "

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

If I were you I would find someone else to go to clubs etc with or start going on your own.

Sounds like she's taking advantage a bit. If you want to play with others you should be free to do so. If she's not happy with that then let her find someone else to go to clubs with.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Sounds like you need to tell her that you feel it's pretty one sided

C

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By *acavityMan  over a year ago

Redditch

Sounds like she wants a cuckold boyfriend.

Either

she accepts that you both get to play.

You accept that she will play and you watch.

Or you separate.

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By *ngeluk69Woman  over a year ago

Near enough

That’s not swinging, that’s her having her cake and eating it while you just catch the odd crumb. Have you spoken to her about why she feels like this about you? Does she do this to other guys?

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

When you decided to team up did you discuss how you would play, what your relationship actually is and any boundaries either of you have? If not I suggest you do that now. On the face of it and given the little information we have she wants a different type of play to you. I think you need to talk, sort out where you want the relationship to go and how you both like to play. Communication is key.

Some women don't like their men to play with other women and there's nothing wrong with that if both agree. The problems arise as you've discovered when you don't both agree.

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

[Removed by poster at 31/12/17 17:15:11]

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple  over a year ago

Halifax

Not very fair by the sounds of it op,

Did you discuss that you would both play?

I would ask her what the problem is and decide if its worth continuing with from there.

Miss

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

[Removed by poster at 31/12/17 17:23:27]

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By *ouplenewmkCouple  over a year ago

milton keynes

I wouldn’t like my partner to play alone so I wouldn’t expect to either. When we got into the scene we set boundaries of only playing with couples as a 4some and we only have intercourses with each other. As we have always agreed on this we have no issues. U both need to sit and talk and if she don’t want you to play alone thrn maybe she needs to rethink what she does

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Ok I want some advice on this. I met someone on swinging scene few months back and we have been going to clubs together. I’m always happy for her to play with any guy she likes in clubs, gangbangs,one to one etc as long as she is happy but whenever I like someone and wants to play. She doesn’t like it and I end up not playing with them.Which leaves me frustrated and annoyed. Does any of you guys or couples have this kind of issues. If yes how you dealt with it. Serious replies please."

Sound like she wants a replacement!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Ok I want some advice on this. I met someone on swinging scene few months back and we have been going to clubs together. I’m always happy for her to play with any guy she likes in clubs, gangbangs,one to one etc as long as she is happy but whenever I like someone and wants to play. She doesn’t like it and I end up not playing with them.Which leaves me frustrated and annoyed. Does any of you guys or couples have this kind of issues. If yes how you dealt with it. Serious replies please.

Sound like she wants a replacement!"

and then I saw your detailed profile!

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By *irginieWoman  over a year ago

Near Marlborough

Everyone has their own opinion on “rules”.

If this way of clubbing doesn’t suit you then you need to talk to her about how to change it or how to make it so you both have fun

There is no other way to deal with it.

V x

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Happened to me, told girl she was a cock block, went South from there

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I guess you need the talk! Me and my fb did and we both agreed exclusivity for the moment. He said he doesn't mind(and turns him on) for me to play but to me it's either both of us or none of us and at the moment I dont want him playing alone. I also think to an extent if a "couple" go to a club together then they play together with others. But again it comes to communication and what you are both happy with.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Ok I want some advice on this. I met someone on swinging scene few months back and we have been going to clubs together. I’m always happy for her to play with any guy she likes in clubs, gangbangs,one to one etc as long as she is happy but whenever I like someone and wants to play. She doesn’t like it and I end up not playing with them.Which leaves me frustrated and annoyed. Does any of you guys or couples have this kind of issues. If yes how you dealt with it. Serious replies please."
marry her its only way

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By *orticiaWoman  over a year ago

Wirral


"Sounds like she wants a cuckold boyfriend.

Either

she accepts that you both get to play.

You accept that she will play and you watch.

Or you separate. "

This!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Ok I want some advice on this. I met someone on swinging scene few months back and we have been going to clubs together. I’m always happy for her to play with any guy she likes in clubs, gangbangs,one to one etc as long as she is happy but whenever I like someone and wants to play. She doesn’t like it and I end up not playing with them.Which leaves me frustrated and annoyed. Does any of you guys or couples have this kind of issues. If yes how you dealt with it. Serious replies please."
like many women here ( not all ) she wants her cake and eats it ,maybe you're a trophy

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By *adja_lazloCouple  over a year ago

Solihull


"Ok I want some advice on this. I met someone on swinging scene few months back and we have been going to clubs together. I’m always happy for her to play with any guy she likes in clubs, gangbangs,one to one etc as long as she is happy but whenever I like someone and wants to play. She doesn’t like it and I end up not playing with them.Which leaves me frustrated and annoyed. Does any of you guys or couples have this kind of issues. If yes how you dealt with it. Serious replies please."

sorry, get rid

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I think you do need to be very honest about your needs and if it’s not being met then discuss it and hope she can meet them or find someone else. When I started going to clubs with my FB we agreed we would only play together. Once we tried same room swapping but it didn’t end well. Since then I’ve actually been having fantasies about watching him with someone else. How I’ll feel’in reality I don’t know but we are close and we talk about things that are bothering us or things we want to try. Sometimes we don’t like what the other is saying but our relationship/ friendship is more important than a quick fuck (when we are together).

Anyway sorry that was long talk to her x

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I couldn't watch Mr with someone else but that's our relationship and we know our boundaries after years together.

It sounds like she's possibly developed feelings for you.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I couldn't watch Mr with someone else but that's our relationship and we know our boundaries after years together.

It sounds like she's possibly developed feelings for you. "

Oooo do you think shes shagging these guys to try to get a reaction/ Make you jealous OP?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"She isn't a swinger. Sounds like she wants a relationship. If it's not for you - run!!"

Lots of swingers are in a relationship.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

If it looks like jealousy, smells like jealousy and quacks like jealousy...then..... you know the rest.

Jealousy has no place in swinging. It is a destructive emotion on all sides!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Most unfair, it does sound like she wants everything her way.

Best thing is to discuss these issues as they arise and agree boundaries and expectations.

Tom loves watching me with other guys, and we are awaiting our first meet with a couple, we've discussed jealousy, and of course i'm expecting to feel a little but we've agreed to discuss feelings at all times and work through them together.

I suppose she needs to feel secure.

Just communicate, and be realistic, that is the key.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS  over a year ago

Central

You should discuss your mutual play strategies when you are not there. If you can't resolve it to your satisfaction, move on.

Some want their cake and to eat everyone else's

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Sounds like she likes the cuck lifestyle,you need to chat to her

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Thanks for your replies. Some useful advice from experienced swingers. I think we need to chat and then make a decision based on outcome from this. And also I have no intentions of getting married as some suggested lol.

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