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Perverts lifting my Skirt / Dress
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So I’m out with my friends at a pub with a live band playing. My dress sense is usually very understated on nights out with friends, I don’t dress or act provocatively and my underwear is never on show when I’m going to a pub with friends.
One of my friend’s Dad is out and he’s pretty d*unk and he thinks it’s funny to bend down and lift up my knee length skirt from behind when I’m on the dance floor.
I catch him and I turn around sweeping his hand out the way immediately, give him a stern stare and shake my finger at him.
One week later, I’m at an Xmas house party and one of my male friends is pretty d*unk and does the exact same thing. He approached me and apologised afterwards due to the immediate response I gave him. I made it clear it was inappropriate, disrespectful and I didn’t find it funny.
Is this some sort of trend, or is this just random acts of d*unkenness?
How have you reacted when this has happened to you? |
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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago
Stoke area |
Think it's d*unken high jinks. I would have yelled in my loud shouty voice to tell them to get lost . Drawing attention to the fact you have been assaulted ( not sure that's the right word) and made sure others new they were perverts . Then I would have moved away and tried to enjoy the rest of my night .
It's not acceptable. Hope you were ok afterwards. Xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s assault in my opinion, and I think you should treat it as such. As both occasions are in social situations with “friends” I’d suggest that if you don’t treat such acts seriously and set an example, you wont be taken seriously in similar situations and the treatment of you may only get worse. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i doubt there are many women who havent had this happen in some form or another. It is assault. Much harder to react when youre young i think, it's very embarrassing... but as ive got older, i think embarrassing them is a good response, very loudly, very publically..it's pathetic that there are so many men out there who think this is ok behaviour..and yes., clearly that makes me a PC, lesbian leftie snowflake or something...but its true.... just pathetic. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So I’m out with my friends at a pub with a live band playing. My dress sense is usually very understated on nights out with friends, I don’t dress or act provocatively and my underwear is never on show when I’m going to a pub with friends.
One of my friend’s Dad is out and he’s pretty d*unk and he thinks it’s funny to bend down and lift up my knee length skirt from behind when I’m on the dance floor.
I catch him and I turn around sweeping his hand out the way immediately, give him a stern stare and shake my finger at him.
One week later, I’m at an Xmas house party and one of my male friends is pretty d*unk and does the exact same thing. He approached me and apologised afterwards due to the immediate response I gave him. I made it clear it was inappropriate, disrespectful and I didn’t find it funny.
Is this some sort of trend, or is this just random acts of d*unkenness?
How have you reacted when this has happened to you?"
Its a common reaction toward transwomen. Males (gay and straight) seem to think that being born trans somehow makes you a sex crazy crossdressing nutter. Pre-op I had a gay guy grab my tits, straight guys waving their cocks at me in the street, straight guys coming on to me and then getting aggresive when I told them i was pre-op trans... the list is endless.
The reality is that it is a serious sexual assault and should be reported to the police.
As to why it happens..... well blame the gay rights activists and church for promoting a sexuality based view of the medical condition that is being born trans. |
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By *oo hotCouple
over a year ago
North West |
"It’s assault in my opinion, and I think you should treat it as such. As both occasions are in social situations with “friends” I’d suggest that if you don’t treat such acts seriously and set an example, you wont be taken seriously in similar situations and the treatment of you may only get worse. "
I could not disagree more. We have ALL been on the receiving end of unwanted behaviour from others. The OP dealt with it discretely and appropriately as would 99% of us.
You feel the need to escalate the situation beyond its level and consequentially impact family and friend relationships - possibly terminally.
We all need to just get down of our high horses and accept that human beings are human beings and none of us are perfect. We all make mistakes and sometimes drinking whilst emotionally vulnerable we do shit things that we are not proud of in the morning.
Well done to the OP for dealing with the situations appropriately and not jumping on the Diva bandwagon.... Yes... people get pissed and act inappropriately. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I find most north east men behave badly on nights out .I was grabbed on a night out and i got him arrested .You should of rang the police .Lesson needs to be learnt by this type of inappropriate behaviour  |
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I would say that if drinking makes you behave inappropriately towards other people you should seriously consider stopping drinking. Drink might be the reason for bad behaviour but its never an excuse. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If it was in a swinging club it could be seem as a show of interest,taking into account the venue,although i doubt he would be allowed to stay being in such an intoxicated state .
However as you said it was in a bar,watching a band in public its totally out of order. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As a regular kilt wearer, i often experience the same altho when i politly say its not cool, women tend to make out like its my fault for wearing it in the first place if i didnt want groped. Now if you ask first, thats usualy different  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It’s assault in my opinion, and I think you should treat it as such. As both occasions are in social situations with “friends” I’d suggest that if you don’t treat such acts seriously and set an example, you wont be taken seriously in similar situations and the treatment of you may only get worse.
I could not disagree more. We have ALL been on the receiving end of unwanted behaviour from others. The OP dealt with it discretely and appropriately as would 99% of us.
You feel the need to escalate the situation beyond its level and consequentially impact family and friend relationships - possibly terminally.
We all need to just get down of our high horses and accept that human beings are human beings and none of us are perfect. We all make mistakes and sometimes drinking whilst emotionally vulnerable we do shit things that we are not proud of in the morning.
Well done to the OP for dealing with the situations appropriately and not jumping on the Diva bandwagon.... Yes... people get pissed and act inappropriately."
So at what point do we distinguish and separate an assault worthy of reporting or not?
An assault is an assault, no matter how you sugar coat it (like a defending lawyer may do?)
I stand by what I say OP, unless you treat it seriously, others won’t, and it will never be stamped out.
OP you asked if there is a trend, and I’d suggest there is, but only if you allow it to become one. |
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"If it was in a swinging club it could be seem as a show of interest,taking into account the venue,although i doubt he would be allowed to stay being in such an intoxicated state .
However as you said it was in a bar,watching a band in public its totally out of order."
in my opinion its not appropriate in a club either. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If it was in a swinging club it could be seem as a show of interest,taking into account the venue,although i doubt he would be allowed to stay being in such an intoxicated state .
However as you said it was in a bar,watching a band in public its totally out of order.
in my opinion its not appropriate in a club either. "
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"As a regular kilt wearer, i often experience the same altho when i politly say its not cool, women tend to make out like its my fault for wearing it in the first place if i didnt want groped. Now if you ask first, thats usualy different "
that's interesting because men often use "you shouldn't have worn that" as an excuse when they've behaved inappropriately. It's a funny world |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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D*unken arseholes can be a pain.
I think you dealt with it in the right way.
I went out in the summer during the day (Manchester pride) in a full length skirt and a crop top. We met friends and didn’t go back to the hotel to change as planned before the evening.
I love dancing so was on the dance floor a lot all night and lost count of the number of men, and a few gay girls, who thought it ok to slip their hands around my waist to cop a feel from behind me.
It wasn’t my choice of outfit for the evening but it’s still my body. Keep your hands off  |
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