FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > How to keep yourself safe when meeting
How to keep yourself safe when meeting
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By *aughtySx OP TV/TS
over a year ago
Wigan Bolton North West |
I thought it would be useful to create a thread on this as I don’t see much conversation about how to stay safe when meeting and it’s useful to share tips.
Especially considering lots of new members are joining.
My top tip and something I do with all my meets is give the postcode only. When they arrive I check them out through CCTV or the window and providing everything looks OK I’ll then give out the door number. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
never have a first meet at your home, always somewhere neutral, cafe, pub ect, have a friend to ring you 15 mins into the meet to check your ok. if you go in there car take a photo of the car number plate and your meet and send them to a friend |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I always chat for a while before meeting for a social.
Never do instant meets.
No matter where I go, my best friend knows.
I text her when I arrive, even given the license plate of cars before.
Text her again at least once, and again when I'm leaving.
She'll also have a pic of whoever I'm meeting.
Tracker app on my phone & emergency call option set up too
May all sound drastic, but after a very scary incident when I first joined I'm taking no chances.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Have a hammer under the bed 
Screen / public social etc if bring people back try be secure. My home and building has cameras .
Also any meets I do I have a buddy that I give all details of in case I don't message at times agreed |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
We're meeting strangers from the internet with the intention of having sex at some point. If you wouldn't be happy for one of your loved ones to meet a person under the circumstances you have been asked to meet in...don't do it. If you always think in terms of keeping someone you love safe you won't go too far wrong. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ieman300Man
over a year ago
Best Greggs in Cheshire East |
"I always chat for a while before meeting for a social.
Never do instant meets.
No matter where I go, my best friend knows.
I text her when I arrive, even given the license plate of cars before.
Text her again at least once, and again when I'm leaving.
She'll also have a pic of whoever I'm meeting.
Tracker app on my phone & emergency call option set up too
May all sound drastic, but after a very scary incident when I first joined I'm taking no chances.
"
You can't ever be too drastic with regards to your safety |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ieman300Man
over a year ago
Best Greggs in Cheshire East |
I have had numerous early hours messages asking me to come round there and then for sex. My safety concerns start right there. I don't know for sure whose really on the end of that profile. Use common sense from the off. Try to avoid putting yourself at risk as much as you can. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
The best way is too meet in a social place first, judge the person on that meet and go from there.
This of course is no guarantee as people can change once in private.
If you're a single fem the risks are so high. I would avoid going to people's homes for a first play meet, as I feel there is more security in a hotel. I would never invite someone to my own home.
I would give information of where I'm going to a trusted friend, and let them know during and after the meet that I was fine.
Above all, go with your gut instinct, it's usually right. I went against mine, and learned a couple of valuable lessons. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *aughtySx OP TV/TS
over a year ago
Wigan Bolton North West |
"I have had numerous early hours messages asking me to come round there and then for sex. My safety concerns start right there. I don't know for sure whose really on the end of that profile. Use common sense from the off. Try to avoid putting yourself at risk as much as you can."
Probably someone horny who’s come in from a night out lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
seriously OP? you start a thread giving tips on personal safety with meets and the best you can do is 'see if they look ok' and then give them the number of your home???
Crackers IMO.
Always always always meet in a public place first of all.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I find the best way to keep myself safe is to not meet anyone from Fab. I’m here only for the Forums these days....
 "
I think this as well as local men my way seem idiots  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *os19Man
over a year ago
Edmonton |
Although in London it's not everyone favourite place but I think Rios Spa would be a good place to meet have a chat enjoy the facilities and if you want to take it further you can or just walk away. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *aughtySx OP TV/TS
over a year ago
Wigan Bolton North West |
"seriously OP? you start a thread giving tips on personal safety with meets and the best you can do is 'see if they look ok' and then give them the number of your home???
Crackers IMO.
Always always always meet in a public place first of all. "
Oh yes because if you meet serial killer Mick in costa coffee he’s gonna admit all because he’s in a public place  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"seriously OP? you start a thread giving tips on personal safety with meets and the best you can do is 'see if they look ok' and then give them the number of your home???
Crackers IMO.
Always always always meet in a public place first of all. "
LOL that's what I thought. And why does the OP have CCTV. Dodgy.
I just send my bodyguard first. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"We're meeting strangers from the internet with the intention of having sex at some point. If you wouldn't be happy for one of your loved ones to meet a person under the circumstances you have been asked to meet in...don't do it. If you always think in terms of keeping someone you love safe you won't go too far wrong."
That’s a great answer |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"seriously OP? you start a thread giving tips on personal safety with meets and the best you can do is 'see if they look ok' and then give them the number of your home???
Crackers IMO.
Always always always meet in a public place first of all. "
I was chatting to OP here when they 1st joined,was asking about clubs,and asked to meet in club carpark as too nervous to go in alone,far better to go in nervous than meet total stranger in a carpark wouldnt you think  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I thought it would be useful to create a thread on this as I don’t see much conversation about how to stay safe when meeting and it’s useful to share tips.
Especially considering lots of new members are joining.
My top tip and something I do with all my meets is give the postcode only. When they arrive I check them out through CCTV or the window and providing everything looks OK I’ll then give out the door number. "
Spend time getting to know them online first. If you spend a while getting to know somebody online first you will out the I want a quick fuck people. Hopefully you can also use that time getting to know someobody to out the timewasters, liars, fantasists, idiots, people looking for notches on the bedpost, etc.
If meeting a couple insist on speaking to the female on the phone or web cam to out guys posing as couples.
Trust your gut instincts when getting to know somebody.
Before meeting insist on a webcam chat so you can see the people match the photos and haven't sent you a photo taken 10 years ago or a photo of somebody else.
Insist a first meet takes place in a very public place such as a cofeeshop, cafe, pub, etc.
If you progress to meeting at somebodies home when you arrive take a photo of the house and send it to a trusted friend.
Whenever you go on a meet let a trusted friend know where you are going and when you are going to be back.
Arrange to let a trusted friend know when you are home safe by phoning or texting them.
Above all if your gut tells you something isn't right listen to it.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"if it doesn't feel right then it probably isn't , always trust your gut feeling . get out or get whoever out straight away ."
Agree with this entirely.
Always go with your gut instinct.
After ending up with a stalker in the past, never meeting anywhere near where we live. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So remind me again how is it safe to meet at someone’s home? "
You can never eliminate 100% of all risks (in any aspect of life) but,some of the precautions suggested make a lot of sense.I'm thinking in particular of the advice to always have the initial contact in a public place. Sure,the lovely person you're chatting to in a coffee shop could turn out to be Hannibal Lecter when you are alone together but,you take the time to try to figure the person out. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"seriously OP? you start a thread giving tips on personal safety with meets and the best you can do is 'see if they look ok' and then give them the number of your home???
Crackers IMO.
Always always always meet in a public place first of all.
Oh yes because if you meet serial killer Mick in costa coffee he’s gonna admit all because he’s in a public place "
Of course not; but it gives you time to suss a person out and gives your 6th sense a chance. I never invite random guys off a sex site to my home unless I know much more about them than simply what they look like |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Could there be a forum page like the club one where known and verified members could offer to be guardian angels for new people, maybe shadowing them at a first meet or be a phone contact, to check they are OK during a meet? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I always suggest a public meeting first...but some ladies do take risks.
I winked a lady in Cheltenham earlier. She messaged me...a few messages later we exchanged numbers and several texts. I now have her address and will be there later....with my toothbrush and shaving kit.
I know for certain she will be safe...... but it worries me that some people (women) on here can be so trusting.... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hide all valuable in a safe and secure place.
Wallet, phone, car keys etc etc.
Just have about £10 in cash easily available.
I speak from experience....
I learned the hard way!
 "
Really? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Could there be a forum page like the club one where known and verified members could offer to be guardian angels for new people, maybe shadowing them at a first meet or be a phone contact, to check they are OK during a meet? "
Somebody did try and set a buddy scheme up once. Not sure how it went on. Would need to be self governing tho cant see people doing it tbh. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I always suggest a public meeting first...but some ladies do take risks.
I winked a lady in Cheltenham earlier. She messaged me...a few messages later we exchanged numbers and several texts. I now have her address and will be there later....with my toothbrush and shaving kit.
I know for certain she will be safe...... but it worries me that some people (women) on here can be so trusting...."
She’s not concerned about her safety then is she? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Could there be a forum page like the club one where known and verified members could offer to be guardian angels for new people, maybe shadowing them at a first meet or be a phone contact, to check they are OK during a meet? "
This is a good idea, especially for single females, even if it's just to send another single fem a message to let them know they are ok during/after a meet |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I always suggest a public meeting first...but some ladies do take risks.
I winked a lady in Cheltenham earlier. She messaged me...a few messages later we exchanged numbers and several texts. I now have her address and will be there later....with my toothbrush and shaving kit.
I know for certain she will be safe...... but it worries me that some people (women) on here can be so trusting....
She’s not concerned about her safety then is she? "
That’s the point I was making....and I’ve met several women from here in similar circumstances over a period of years covering this and more so my previous profile....
Some with much less contact than tonight.... speaking of which I need to be getting ready. Have to be in Cheltenham for 11.30... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"I thought it would be useful to create a thread on this as I don’t see much conversation about how to stay safe when meeting and it’s useful to share tips.
Especially considering lots of new members are joining.
My top tip and something I do with all my meets is give the postcode only. When they arrive I check them out through CCTV or the window and providing everything looks OK I’ll then give out the door number.
Spend time getting to know them online first. If you spend a while getting to know somebody online first you will out the I want a quick fuck people. Hopefully you can also use that time getting to know someobody to out the timewasters, liars, fantasists, idiots, people looking for notches on the bedpost, etc.
If meeting a couple insist on speaking to the female on the phone or web cam to out guys posing as couples.
Trust your gut instincts when getting to know somebody.
Before meeting insist on a webcam chat so you can see the people match the photos and haven't sent you a photo taken 10 years ago or a photo of somebody else.
Insist a first meet takes place in a very public place such as a cofeeshop, cafe, pub, etc.
If you progress to meeting at somebodies home when you arrive take a photo of the house and send it to a trusted friend.
Whenever you go on a meet let a trusted friend know where you are going and when you are going to be back.
Arrange to let a trusted friend know when you are home safe by phoning or texting them.
Above all if your gut tells you something isn't right listen to it.
"
All of this x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"Could there be a forum page like the club one where known and verified members could offer to be guardian angels for new people, maybe shadowing them at a first meet or be a phone contact, to check they are OK during a meet?
This is a good idea, especially for single females, even if it's just to send another single fem a message to let them know they are ok during/after a meet"
I make this clear even before a social that I will be texting or calling a friend after half hour. If they don't like it before meeting I won't meet them. I also tell them that my friend has their fab username and knows place and time of meet. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago
Stoke area |
I always used to do a social meet in a coffee shop or pub and spend time getting to know them and then meet up. I had a chap turn up at my house 6 months after meeting, as he couldn't get hold of me on fab! I no longer invite people to my house.
Club meets are far safer, as there are staff and regulars nearby if needed. Not that I have ever had a problem. But it feels safer knowing there are people nearby |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I always used to do a social meet in a coffee shop or pub and spend time getting to know them and then meet up. I had a chap turn up at my house 6 months after meeting, as he couldn't get hold of me on fab! I no longer invite people to my house.
Club meets are far safer, as there are staff and regulars nearby if needed. Not that I have ever had a problem. But it feels safer knowing there are people nearby "
Chap turning up at your door six months later? Scary - and who the heck did he think he was??!!  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago
Stoke area |
"I always used to do a social meet in a coffee shop or pub and spend time getting to know them and then meet up. I had a chap turn up at my house 6 months after meeting, as he couldn't get hold of me on fab! I no longer invite people to my house.
Club meets are far safer, as there are staff and regulars nearby if needed. Not that I have ever had a problem. But it feels safer knowing there are people nearby
Chap turning up at your door six months later? Scary - and who the heck did he think he was??!! "
I was livid. I was having a break from fab and he turned up as I was serving tea to my kids. ! Soon shooed him away . |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ieman300Man
over a year ago
Best Greggs in Cheshire East |
"I have had numerous early hours messages asking me to come round there and then for sex. My safety concerns start right there. I don't know for sure whose really on the end of that profile. Use common sense from the off. Try to avoid putting yourself at risk as much as you can.
Probably someone horny who’s come in from a night out lol"
Could have very well been yeah. Could have been some twat luring me to a kicking. I aint taking the risk. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I always suggest a public meeting first...but some ladies do take risks.
I winked a lady in Cheltenham earlier. She messaged me...a few messages later we exchanged numbers and several texts. I now have her address and will be there later....with my toothbrush and shaving kit.
I know for certain she will be safe...... but it worries me that some people (women) on here can be so trusting...."
You know for certain she will be safe...but are you certain you will be. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *aughtySx OP TV/TS
over a year ago
Wigan Bolton North West |
"seriously OP? you start a thread giving tips on personal safety with meets and the best you can do is 'see if they look ok' and then give them the number of your home???
Crackers IMO.
Always always always meet in a public place first of all.
I was chatting to OP here when they 1st joined,was asking about clubs,and asked to meet in club carpark as too nervous to go in alone,far better to go in nervous than meet total stranger in a carpark wouldnt you think "
Yawn. I don’t really remember you I joined over 12 months ago??? As you know dressing can be tough I’m sure you’ve done it a lot longer than me but stepping directly into a public place takes a lot of courage id rather meet a regular user of the club to take me in and show me around. Thanks for blocking me tough saves me a job princess x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"seriously OP? you start a thread giving tips on personal safety with meets and the best you can do is 'see if they look ok' and then give them the number of your home???
Crackers IMO.
Always always always meet in a public place first of all.
I was chatting to OP here when they 1st joined,was asking about clubs,and asked to meet in club carpark as too nervous to go in alone,far better to go in nervous than meet total stranger in a carpark wouldnt you think
Yawn. I don’t really remember you I joined over 12 months ago??? As you know dressing can be tough I’m sure you’ve done it a lot longer than me but stepping directly into a public place takes a lot of courage id rather meet a regular user of the club to take me in and show me around. Thanks for blocking me tough saves me a job princess x"
Yes i remember being pestered to meet you and take you in and you came up with all sorts of excuses like nothing to wear,nothing fitted etc,so ive blocked you for that reason hunnie X |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I never get in anyone's car and will always drive myself. And never bring strangers to my house (there are a lot of nutters about). It's safer to meet and play at clubs as if anything gets tricky, there is security around and you can walk away.
I find it terrifying that women put statuses up asking for lifts to clubs from strangers - they could get left the middle of nowhere if their lift fucks off home early, or could be taken god knows where. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
