FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Do all women/couples expect face photo in first message
Do all women/couples expect face photo in first message
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I have no problem sharing face photos with others, however couples/Females expect that in the initial contact message. While I have nothing to hide, I am somewhat cautious about just sending my photos in to the unknown.
Where do others stand on this? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It saves time if someone sends a photo with a message. As much as someone's personality has to attract me, it's the face I'll be kissing and looking at while we have sex. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have no problem sharing face photos with others, however couples/Females expect that in the initial contact message. While I have nothing to hide, I am somewhat cautious about just sending my photos in to the unknown.
Where do others stand on this?
"
Not necessarily first message, but fairly soon. Also if not sending face pic with first message, I like to be able to see some pics on the profile.
Poppy |
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By *olliPineCouple
over a year ago
swingers clubs |
"I have no problem sharing face photos with others, however couples/Females expect that in the initial contact message. While I have nothing to hide, I am somewhat cautious about just sending my photos in to the unknown.
Where do others stand on this?"
We see no point investing time 'chatting' if there's no attraction.
On that basis we ignore 90%+ of messages sent without pics attached or in their profile. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Yes I get all your points, however when you send your face photo in the initial message and get no reply you feel ok that may photo out there with an unknown.
But I suppose that's the risk a single guy who is trying to get noticed has to accept. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes I get all your points, however when you send your face photo in the initial message and get no reply you feel ok that may photo out there with an unknown.
But I suppose that's the risk a single guy who is trying to get noticed has to accept."
If you are a site supporter, you can opt the photo to be removed once the message has been read. It usually stays around for a few minutes  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes I get all your points, however when you send your face photo in the initial message and get no reply you feel ok that may photo out there with an unknown.
But I suppose that's the risk a single guy who is trying to get noticed has to accept."
If you sent it after a few messages, it'll still be out there with an unknown. You never truly know who's on the other end until you meet them. At some point, you have to take the leap of faith. Might as well be at the beginning. |
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I understand the dilemma for a guy and how it would feel risky.
However, like The Brain said, I need to see a face before I even consider chatting. It saves time, but more importantly, it saves having everyone's hopes built up only to then have to say I don't fancy you.
The way it works on here isn't necessarily fair for men, it's simple supply and demand at work.
For every man who won't send a face pic there are plenty more who do. So we divert our attention to those we like the look of |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have no problem sharing face photos with others, however couples/Females expect that in the initial contact message. While I have nothing to hide, I am somewhat cautious about just sending my photos in to the unknown.
Where do others stand on this?"
I show my face on my profile so yes I expect one in a first message. It will be deleted if not so the guys have just wasted their time sending a message without |
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We do expect face photos fairly soon if there is a potential to meet, but one in the initial message isn't necessary.
Not all messages are with a view to meeting, we chat about all sorts of random stuff
Nita |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes I get all your points, however when you send your face photo in the initial message and get no reply you feel ok that may photo out there with an unknown.
But I suppose that's the risk a single guy who is trying to get noticed has to accept."
It's the same risk I take when sending one back. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yes I get all your points, however when you send your face photo in the initial message and get no reply you feel ok that may photo out there with an unknown.
But I suppose that's the risk a single guy who is trying to get noticed has to accept.
It's the same risk I take when sending one back. "
I would disagree, for example you received the initial photo, let's say you are somehow connected to the same circle of friends, you would simply ignore and move on (hopefully) but the others secret is out. I'm not saying that there is anything to hide. I just like to keep things like work and my private life separated. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes I get all your points, however when you send your face photo in the initial message and get no reply you feel ok that may photo out there with an unknown.
But I suppose that's the risk a single guy who is trying to get noticed has to accept.
It's the same risk I take when sending one back.
I would disagree, for example you received the initial photo, let's say you are somehow connected to the same circle of friends, you would simply ignore and move on (hopefully) but the others secret is out. I'm not saying that there is anything to hide. I just like to keep things like work and my private life separated."
Read previous post instead of my profile. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yes I get all your points, however when you send your face photo in the initial message and get no reply you feel ok that may photo out there with an unknown.
But I suppose that's the risk a single guy who is trying to get noticed has to accept.
It's the same risk I take when sending one back.
I would disagree, for example you received the initial photo, let's say you are somehow connected to the same circle of friends, you would simply ignore and move on (hopefully) but the others secret is out. I'm not saying that there is anything to hide. I just like to keep things like work and my private life separated.
Read previous post instead of my profile."
I have read your post but it negates the fact that the photo was sent and seen, it can also be copied. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes I get all your points, however when you send your face photo in the initial message and get no reply you feel ok that may photo out there with an unknown.
But I suppose that's the risk a single guy who is trying to get noticed has to accept.
It's the same risk I take when sending one back.
I would disagree, for example you received the initial photo, let's say you are somehow connected to the same circle of friends, you would simply ignore and move on (hopefully) but the others secret is out. I'm not saying that there is anything to hide. I just like to keep things like work and my private life separated."
So you’re looking at a mexican stand off if no one wants to be the first to send the pic  |
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" it can also be copied."
As can anything on the internet. Only display or send anything anywhere on the internet that you can afford to 'lose'.
Someone can pinch your LinkedIn profile picture and use it as a face pic on here. Fab is not the only place to be careful |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sorry to be brutal, but if you're that bothered by sending a mere face pic. Don't be on fab'.
People won't meet the faceless, simples, and it appears you're shooting down everyone's reasons for you sending one. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Sorry to be brutal, but if you're that bothered by sending a mere face pic. Don't be on fab'.
People won't meet the faceless, simples, and it appears you're shooting down everyone's reasons for you sending one. "
Not at all, it's in the initial email that's all. It only takes a fees minutes to see if there is a conflict of interest. I have no problem sharing once I know there is a match |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sorry to be brutal, but if you're that bothered by sending a mere face pic. Don't be on fab'.
People won't meet the faceless, simples, and it appears you're shooting down everyone's reasons for you sending one.
Not at all, it's in the initial email that's all. It only takes a fees minutes to see if there is a conflict of interest. I have no problem sharing once I know there is a match"
I don’t know here’s a match until I’ve seen a face pic... |
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"I have no problem sharing face photos with others, however couples/Females expect that in the initial contact message. While I have nothing to hide, I am somewhat cautious about just sending my photos in to the unknown.
Where do others stand on this?
Not necessarily first message, but fairly soon. Also if not sending face pic with first message, I like to be able to see some pics on the profile.
Poppy"
Yea, I’m m happy to swap pics. Had a few dodgy “blind meets” (silly me)
Had a “blind meet” recently with a guy who said he was 40 years old on the profile.
Sounded good. When he appeared and I seen him I was like this guy is like 55 years old.
I don’t mind meeting older guys, which I have done, like older guys, but don’t knock years off yourself.
Would rather he’d have put in his real age.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sorry to be brutal, but if you're that bothered by sending a mere face pic. Don't be on fab'.
People won't meet the faceless, simples, and it appears you're shooting down everyone's reasons for you sending one.
Not at all, it's in the initial email that's all. It only takes a fees minutes to see if there is a conflict of interest. I have no problem sharing once I know there is a match"
Therein lies the problem, there's no match until we've seen what he/she/they look like. |
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Interesting post. Why would you be here if you are not ready to share face pic? Nobody wants to waste the time. Fab is for finding a play partner - if the guy is not sending a photo or do not want to do this we are not interested. Anyway there is so many fakes in here who have old pic that we started to cam verify too. Its hard to find a genuine match. Guys need to be confident. By the way what do they think a couple will do with their pic if they don't like him ? Frame it? Please... I guess if they are cheating on their partner I could possibly understand their worries...or not! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" it can also be copied.
As can anything on the internet. Only display or send anything anywhere on the internet that you can afford to 'lose'.
Someone can pinch your LinkedIn profile picture and use it as a face pic on here. Fab is not the only place to be careful "
Very good point.
OP just send a pic that you can plausibly deny if someone uses it elsewhere. Anyone can steal a face pic from Facebook etc and set up a profile on here pretending to be you.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I am not saying I won't send photos, it is in the initial introduction message. I would not expect to ever meet anyone with out sharing photos. For me I dont like the idea of just sending photos when it's very rare of single guys to get a reply. I understand why that is and would not expect people to reply to the hundreds of messages sitting in their inbox. I suppose I was just trying to find out if you all automatically delete or not even open if there is not a photo contained within the message. |
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Simply yes! It's a swingers site a site where you basically fuck other people. If there's no physical attraction to start and as shallow as it sounds then it's not going to go much further. A clear face picture with first message (or ideally on your profile) will save a lot of time and especially if you have other messages to get through too. We have met some great people out in clubs though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes I get all your points, however when you send your face photo in the initial message and get no reply you feel ok that may photo out there with an unknown.
But I suppose that's the risk a single guy who is trying to get noticed has to accept."
Very true always apprehensive
Sometimes you want get to know people a bit more in case you know them
But most ladies demand a face pic
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" it can also be copied.
As can anything on the internet. Only display or send anything anywhere on the internet that you can afford to 'lose'.
Someone can pinch your LinkedIn profile picture and use it as a face pic on here. Fab is not the only place to be careful
Very good point.
OP just send a pic that you can plausibly deny if someone uses it elsewhere. Anyone can steal a face pic from Facebook etc and set up a profile on here pretending to be you.
"
The problem with that is if people use reverse image they can find out who you are in real life. If it’s from LinkedIn your professional life could be compromised. Obviously depends who it gets sent to and not eveyone is a twat. I have nothing to hide but have been stalked twice so very cautious. I only ever use photos I use nowhere else.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We don't expect face photos in the first message. To us we prefer to exchange a few messages first to suss out a little bit about their personalities. If we are then interested we will offer to exchange face photos.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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For the single guys it unfortunately massively reduces the chance of a reply. It is a swingers site yes, but does not mean I want to broadcast to the world who I am without knowing a little about them first. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes I get all your points, however when you send your face photo in the initial message and get no reply you feel ok that may photo out there with an unknown.
But I suppose that's the risk a single guy who is trying to get noticed has to accept."
I wouldn't expect one in the first message. But if I respond then maybe one after that. I don't send mine out early on so can't expect anyone else too x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For the single guys it unfortunately massively reduces the chance of a reply. It is a swingers site yes, but does not mean I want to broadcast to the world who I am without knowing a little about them first."
Don’t then, you don’t have to but expect lots of deleted messages |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Yes I get all your points, however when you send your face photo in the initial message and get no reply you feel ok that may photo out there with an unknown.
But I suppose that's the risk a single guy who is trying to get noticed has to accept.
I wouldn't expect one in the first message. But if I respond then maybe one after that. I don't send mine out early on so can't expect anyone else too x"
Thanks, it's good to know that hope is not lost |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" it can also be copied.
As can anything on the internet. Only display or send anything anywhere on the internet that you can afford to 'lose'.
Someone can pinch your LinkedIn profile picture and use it as a face pic on here. Fab is not the only place to be careful
Very good point.
OP just send a pic that you can plausibly deny if someone uses it elsewhere. Anyone can steal a face pic from Facebook etc and set up a profile on here pretending to be you.
The problem with that is if people use reverse image they can find out who you are in real life. If it’s from LinkedIn your professional life could be compromised. Obviously depends who it gets sent to and not eveyone is a twat. I have nothing to hide but have been stalked twice so very cautious. I only ever use photos I use nowhere else. "
I forgot about this, thanks. Good info to be aware of. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Every now and then we get a message from a guy which will include something like ‘face pics available if interested’. The problem is we don’t know if we are interested if we don’t know what he looks like. So if there is nothing to pique our interest we have no cause to to chat. Us personally we send our face pics to anybody we are interested in with our first message. Yes it’s a risk, but it’s a calculated risk. At the end of the day they are only faces, and there are hundreds of faces on the Internet. It’s up to the individual to decide what risk they are willing to take. OP if you decide it’s too risky, then you will be fishing in a smaller fishpond with considerable less choice. But only you can decide what’s more important to you.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have no problem sharing face photos with others, however couples/Females expect that in the initial contact message. While I have nothing to hide, I am somewhat cautious about just sending my photos in to the unknown.
Where do others stand on this?"
I do it as a matter of course she has to fancy you and you her what's the point otherwise |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes I get all your points, however when you send your face photo in the initial message and get no reply you feel ok that may photo out there with an unknown.
But I suppose that's the risk a single guy who is trying to get noticed has to accept.
If you are a site supporter, you can opt the photo to be removed once the message has been read. It usually stays around for a few minutes "
This.
I do this every time |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We would expect a face image within the first few messages , as someone previously mentioned it saves time ( we are not all attracted to everyone and we have been binned off a few times also ) ,obviously looks are not everything but it is the first step to meeting we have found . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It doesn't bother me in the slightest and sometimes prefer just chatting and enjoy the banter then face pics come later on
I did check 20 random single female profiles and every one of them mention face pics in their profile.. most of them in the first line so I guess it's the most important thing to them x |
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" it can also be copied.
As can anything on the internet. Only display or send anything anywhere on the internet that you can afford to 'lose'.
Someone can pinch your LinkedIn profile picture and use it as a face pic on here. Fab is not the only place to be careful
Very good point.
OP just send a pic that you can plausibly deny if someone uses it elsewhere. Anyone can steal a face pic from Facebook etc and set up a profile on here pretending to be you.
The problem with that is if people use reverse image they can find out who you are in real life. If it’s from LinkedIn your professional life could be compromised. Obviously depends who it gets sent to and not eveyone is a twat. I have nothing to hide but have been stalked twice so very cautious. I only ever use photos I use nowhere else. "
Exactly, which is why you have to use an image that is not anywhere else on the internet.
My point about LinkedIn is that anyone can pinch your picture from almost anywhere if it is on the internet. Not just from Fab. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We don't expect face photos in the first message. To us we prefer to exchange a few messages first to suss out a little bit about their personalities. If we are then interested we will offer to exchange face photos.
"
We're the same, happy to start to get a feel for people and find out if we're looking for the same sort of thing before swapping face pics.
OP we totally understand your point about sending a pic to someone you know, we've had more than one person send unsolicted face pics to us and have recognised them. We would never tell anyone else but know there are less discreet people than us on here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The above post surely puts to bed this idea that you're a paranoid wreck and totally unreasonable if you feel reluctant to send a face picture in the first message |
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By *INTONIC300Couple
over a year ago
Glasgow/Manchester/Edinburgh |
I don't know why people just assume we are all on fab so if someone sends a message"want a fuck" means I drop my knickers and fuck.Sorry I do need to be attracted need to feel some chemistry so a nice face helps me relax Yes it's also personality that's why I chat.Nice face doesn't mean your in I like the full package looks humour personality.If all else fails make me laugh. |
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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago
Bristol |
"The above post surely puts to bed this idea that you're a paranoid wreck and totally unreasonable if you feel reluctant to send a face picture in the first message "
Is anyone saying a man is paranoid or unreasonable if they won’t send face pics in first message?
It sounds more like people are saying if they don’t, it drastically reduces that man’s chance of getting meets - which is unarguably true. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes I get all your points, however when you send your face photo in the initial message and get no reply you feel ok that may photo out there with an unknown.
But I suppose that's the risk a single guy who is trying to get noticed has to accept.
If you are a site supporter, you can opt the photo to be removed once the message has been read. It usually stays around for a few minutes "
A real waste of money in a pointless feature as anyone can screen save it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have no problem sharing face photos with others, however couples/Females expect that in the initial contact message. While I have nothing to hide, I am somewhat cautious about just sending my photos in to the unknown.
Where do others stand on this?"
Why waste your time on a woman who may not even be interested in You? We all have our own types and attractions that we go for.
A nice body is usually all it takes for some guys. The amount of "you're stunning" messages I receive is bewildering lol. I mean they have no idea what i look like. so those kinds of messages make me laugh .
For me mutual attraction must be there or I will not meet.
So bit of a too, Save your time and hers by attaching a face pic as soon as possible. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The above post surely puts to bed this idea that you're a paranoid wreck and totally unreasonable if you feel reluctant to send a face picture in the first message
Is anyone saying a man is paranoid or unreasonable if they won’t send face pics in first message?
Many posts saying things like, "then why are you here if you're not prepared to send a face pic." Despite op continually saying the problem was sending on straight off the bat and having no idea who is now in possession of it
It sounds more like people are saying if they don’t, it drastically reduces that man’s chance of getting meets - which is unarguably true."
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Don't send your face photo to any lady or couple if you are not comfortable doing so, I have been swinging for long without any face photo niether have I sent any face photo to anybody and it has not stopped the ladies fucking me constantly.
In fact not sending face photo has help me to out time wasters.
If someone really wants to fuck you on the spot and regularly, they will meet you at a club or spa . |
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Due to my job I do not have a face pic and only show one when have chatted. And I can trust the woman or couple concerned. But why do some women say must include face pic before chatting but won’t send one to you after chatting. Works both ways ladies us men want to see your face too |
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"Due to my job I do not have a face pic and only show one when have chatted. And I can trust the woman or couple concerned. But why do some women say must include face pic before chatting but won’t send one to you after chatting. Works both ways ladies us men want to see your face too"
Why would they send their photo if they are not interested in meeting/chatting? If you are simply not their type? |
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We would say no.
We have ours in private and would prefer to see how the person(s) messaging come across first.
We have regular chat friends on here too and even they have only gotten to see our face pics after many, many messages.
If we are planning on a meet then of course but other than that don’t see the need.
Again everyone is different and it’s why we tend to prefer the clubs as the barriers are already taken away.
Mr |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes I get all your points, however when you send your face photo in the initial message and get no reply you feel ok that may photo out there with an unknown.
But I suppose that's the risk a single guy who is trying to get noticed has to accept."
No, you don't have to.
Don't believe them and don't send a face pic.
People are still a bit confused about the whole online concept and in their heads believe things such as that you can judge anything about a person just from a photo. You can't! It's just one of those little lies we like to tell ourselves.
I bet you 99% of the single guys who send a photo of their face get rejected regardless. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don't send your face photo to any lady or couple if you are not comfortable doing so, I have been swinging for long without any face photo niether have I sent any face photo to anybody and it has not stopped the ladies fucking me constantly.
In fact not sending face photo has help me to out time wasters.
If someone really wants to fuck you on the spot and regularly, they will meet you at a club or spa ."
And this!
Thanks James!
Weeds out the time wasters, the dreamers, and the fantasists too. |
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"I have no problem sharing face photos with others, however couples/Females expect that in the initial contact message. While I have nothing to hide, I am somewhat cautious about just sending my photos in to the unknown.
Where do others stand on this?"
Remain cautious.
There are some arseholes out there.
Trust your instincts. |
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By *W1967Man
over a year ago
South Leicestershire |
We wouldn't expect it in the initial contact. As others have said, can they string a coherent sentence in english is usually a good guide. Also do they show they have read and understood what we might be looking for. We would like to see pictures shortly after that though if we replied indicating were considering going further. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i think you should have a face photo in first contact. if not on profile.
after all i bet most people that have a face pic on profile will get a lot more interest as to the ones that don't unless you want to f**k anything or be f**ked by anything.
i also think it proves your more genuine.
just my thoughts |
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