FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > First timer
First timer
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
I’ve signed up to two club nights, I’m nervous as hell.
If I went alone, am I basically ‘a free for all’? Can be grabbed and touched etc?
Do I have to have sex?
I’m dead picky, I want the whole social/flirty thing,MAYBE leading to something else.
Will I get abuse if I say no to people? Am I better off having someone come with me?
Sorry for 10 thousand questions  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I’ve signed up to two club nights, I’m nervous as hell.
If I went alone, am I basically ‘a free for all’? Can be grabbed and touched etc?
Do I have to have sex?
I’m dead picky, I want the whole social/flirty thing,MAYBE leading to something else.
Will I get abuse if I say no to people? Am I better off having someone come with me?
Sorry for 10 thousand questions "
Definitely NOT a free for all. It's your body so your choice. You need to have confidence to say no. Dont buddy up with a random. They dont care about your fantasies. Tell the organisers its your first time. You can just have a social.
Pm me if you have any specific questions. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’ve signed up to two club nights, I’m nervous as hell.
If I went alone, am I basically ‘a free for all’? Can be grabbed and touched etc?
Do I have to have sex?
I’m dead picky, I want the whole social/flirty thing,MAYBE leading to something else.
Will I get abuse if I say no to people? Am I better off having someone come with me?
Sorry for 10 thousand questions "
Any one grabbing or giving unwanted attention should be picked up by the bouncers/staff. Who you decide to play or interact with is your choice and yours only any one pushing for you to do something you are not sure of it far from a friend. It can be safer or more comforting to have a club buddy so that you know some one is looking out for you and vice versa. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I’ve signed up to two club nights, I’m nervous as hell.
If I went alone, am I basically ‘a free for all’? Can be grabbed and touched etc?
Do I have to have sex?
I’m dead picky, I want the whole social/flirty thing,MAYBE leading to something else.
Will I get abuse if I say no to people? Am I better off having someone come with me?
Sorry for 10 thousand questions
Definitely NOT a free for all. It's your body so your choice. You need to have confidence to say no. Dont buddy up with a random. They dont care about your fantasies. Tell the organisers its your first time. You can just have a social.
Pm me if you have any specific questions."
When Jehovah witnesses knock on door, I end up inviting them in and feeding them definitely gunna have to work on saying no |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I’ve signed up to two club nights, I’m nervous as hell.
If I went alone, am I basically ‘a free for all’? Can be grabbed and touched etc?
Do I have to have sex?
I’m dead picky, I want the whole social/flirty thing,MAYBE leading to something else.
Will I get abuse if I say no to people? Am I better off having someone come with me?
Sorry for 10 thousand questions
Any one grabbing or giving unwanted attention should be picked up by the bouncers/staff. Who you decide to play or interact with is your choice and yours only any one pushing for you to do something you are not sure of it far from a friend. It can be safer or more comforting to have a club buddy so that you know some one is looking out for you and vice versa."
Do you think an experienced buddy would be good? I’m worried if I go with a guy, they’ll think it’s an open invitation |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Sorry to be negative but please be extremely careful. I went alone and had a very bad experience. Some men show no respect at all, and things can happen that you can't control. Club staff can't always protect you, you need to be very aware and look out for yourself.
If you go, please stay safe.
Angel |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’ve signed up to two club nights, I’m nervous as hell.
If I went alone, am I basically ‘a free for all’? Can be grabbed and touched etc?
Do I have to have sex?
I’m dead picky, I want the whole social/flirty thing,MAYBE leading to something else.
Will I get abuse if I say no to people? Am I better off having someone come with me?
Sorry for 10 thousand questions
Any one grabbing or giving unwanted attention should be picked up by the bouncers/staff. Who you decide to play or interact with is your choice and yours only any one pushing for you to do something you are not sure of it far from a friend. It can be safer or more comforting to have a club buddy so that you know some one is looking out for you and vice versa.
Do you think an experienced buddy would be good? I’m worried if I go with a guy, they’ll think it’s an open invitation "
if I were a single women I would only go with a single guy if I knew them well enough to know they had my back if thing's went bad but then the same can be said for a single women or a couple going with you. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’ve signed up to two club nights, I’m nervous as hell.
If I went alone, am I basically #1‘a free for all’?
#2Can be grabbed and touched etc?
#3 Do I have to have sex?
I’m dead picky,
#4 I want the whole social/flirty thing,MAYBE leading to something else.
#5 Will I get abuse if I say no to people?
#6 Am I better off having someone come with me?
Sorry for 10 thousand questions "
#1 you're never a 'free for all'
#2 if anyone grabs or touches you without your permission you say no. And tell management.
#3 you only do what you want to do
#4 clubs are a very social/flirty atmosphere I recommend getting there just after it opens so you can have more time socialising
#5 no. It's ALWAYS expected you can't be everyone's type... if you get abuse tell management.
#6 if you have a regular play partner you trust go with them, id never go to a club with a random man/woman I didn't know
I only ever go clubs alone and have done for many years, feel free to PM me if you need more questions answering... I know how daunting it can be!  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’ve signed up to two club nights, I’m nervous as hell.
If I went alone, am I basically #1‘a free for all’?
#2Can be grabbed and touched etc?
#3 Do I have to have sex?
I’m dead picky,
#4 I want the whole social/flirty thing,MAYBE leading to something else.
#5 Will I get abuse if I say no to people?
#6 Am I better off having someone come with me?
Sorry for 10 thousand questions
#1 you're never a 'free for all'
#2 if anyone grabs or touches you without your permission you say no. And tell management.
#3 you only do what you want to do
#4 clubs are a very social/flirty atmosphere I recommend getting there just after it opens so you can have more time socialising
#5 no. It's ALWAYS expected you can't be everyone's type... if you get abuse tell management.
#6 if you have a regular play partner you trust go with them, id never go to a club with a random man/woman I didn't know
I only ever go clubs alone and have done for many years, feel free to PM me if you need more questions answering... I know how daunting it can be! "
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’ve signed up to two club nights, I’m nervous as hell.
If I went alone, am I basically ‘a free for all’? Can be grabbed and touched etc?
Do I have to have sex?
I’m dead picky, I want the whole social/flirty thing,MAYBE leading to something else.
Will I get abuse if I say no to people? Am I better off having someone come with me?
Sorry for 10 thousand questions
Any one grabbing or giving unwanted attention should be picked up by the bouncers/staff. Who you decide to play or interact with is your choice and yours only any one pushing for you to do something you are not sure of it far from a friend. It can be safer or more comforting to have a club buddy so that you know some one is looking out for you and vice versa.
Do you think an experienced buddy would be good? I’m worried if I go with a guy, they’ll think it’s an open invitation "
Why not buddy up with another female? You can both discuss you’re wants and limits and can keep an eye on each other
Or maybe an experienced couple that are aware that it’s just buddying and not an invitation for sex |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Sorry to be negative but please be extremely careful. I went alone and had a very bad experience. Some men show no respect at all, and things can happen that you can't control. Club staff can't always protect you, you need to be very aware and look out for yourself.
If you go, please stay safe.
Angel"
That’s what I’m really worried about  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Thanks everyone  I don’t have a regular partner to buddy up with, I think a couple might let me tag along with them, it was actually the mrs who told me which one was good xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I'm sorry others have had bad experiences, I've been to clubs alone a fair bit. I've found them more respectful than a vanilla nightclub. In fact at a greedy girls night, a couple looked out for me and made sure I was ok. The guys were always respectful of a polite, firm no thankyou.
Use the same senses you would to look after yourself in the real world and you won't go wrong. Pm me if you have questions.
Good luck x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Sorry to be negative but please be extremely careful. I went alone and had a very bad experience. Some men show no respect at all, and things can happen that you can't control. Club staff can't always protect you, you need to be very aware and look out for yourself.
If you go, please stay safe.
Angel
That’s what I’m really worried about "
It's a great concern of mine, and don't think I'd fancy going to a club as a single female.
Going with a couple is a very good idea.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Just be prepared to firmly say no, you’ll be fine. Most people are good folk, if a guy is being an arse people will step in.
Believe me, you hold the power in these clubs.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
As most people above are saying. I used to work the bar in a large private house where we used to have partied, and basically no mean absolutely no. Any decent club will ask if it is your first time and guide you round. and let you know who you need to speak to. I only ever witnessed one guy who needed kicking out, and he left. Swingers (proper swingers and not people after a quick f**k) are generally wonderful respectful people.
Take a mate too, you should let them know before that it is not leading to anything if you are going as purely friends. That is not offensive to say if you prefer. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Ive met single women at Chameleons. They were relaxed chatty and werent from what i saw molested. Pick a good club and you will be fine. I went first on a saturday afternoon as it was a bit quieter and even as a single man i was a bit nervous! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’ve signed up to two club nights, I’m nervous as hell.
If I went alone, am I basically ‘a free for all’? Can be grabbed and touched etc?
Do I have to have sex?
I’m dead picky, I want the whole social/flirty thing,MAYBE leading to something else.
Will I get abuse if I say no to people? Am I better off having someone come with me?
Sorry for 10 thousand questions "
Which ones you go to and when... if you need a female companion for moral support ibhave never been to a club but always wanted to.. we can look after each other. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I’ve signed up to two club nights, I’m nervous as hell.
If I went alone, am I basically ‘a free for all’? Can be grabbed and touched etc?
Do I have to have sex?
I’m dead picky, I want the whole social/flirty thing,MAYBE leading to something else.
Will I get abuse if I say no to people? Am I better off having someone come with me?
Sorry for 10 thousand questions
Which ones you go to and when... if you need a female companion for moral support ibhave never been to a club but always wanted to.. we can look after each other. "
I can’t message you lol filters |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"hey its not a free for all at all. we go to chams darlaston alot and if you want to tag along thats cool. ill even buy you a coffee lol
mr and mrs x "
I’m going to 90s night in jan |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
If you tell the club you are new and alone a decent place will show you around and even introduce you to people who can keep an eye out.
Being at a club is like standing in the street. If anyone touches you who shouldn't, it's indecent assault. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If you tell the club you are new and alone a decent place will show you around and even introduce you to people who can keep an eye out.
Being at a club is like standing in the street. If anyone touches you who shouldn't, it's indecent assault."
It is, but it doesn't stop it happening. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
