FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Persistence doesn't always pay off...
Persistence doesn't always pay off...
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Before I start...I don't tar all men with the same brush, have met many single guys from site and will continue to...however...
I'm usually very blunt in messages...if I'm not interested in will say exactly that, definitely not scared to say no. I'm trying to get myself back to meeting solo again and so trying to be a little more open to guys...but I swear to god...if you're polite to some of them they will not leave your alone!!!
I agreed to coffee at some point with one guy...I've had over 20 messages from him this morning! I only replied to 6 
Seems to happen a lot...as soon as I indulge a little chat, that's it! They want to meet right away and will bombard me with messages 
Should I return to my blunt, no fucks given attitude or stick with the softer approach? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Before I start...I don't tar all men with the same brush, have met many single guys from site and will continue to...however...
I'm usually very blunt in messages...if I'm not interested in will say exactly that, definitely not scared to say no. I'm trying to get myself back to meeting solo again and so trying to be a little more open to guys...but I swear to god...if you're polite to some of them they will not leave your alone!!!
I agreed to coffee at some point with one guy...I've had over 20 messages from him this morning! I only replied to 6
Seems to happen a lot...as soon as I indulge a little chat, that's it! They want to meet right away and will bombard me with messages
Should I return to my blunt, no fucks given attitude or stick with the softer approach? "
This is so true!!! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I try not to block people unless they're rude...just cos I enjoy chatting to all kinds of people...I'm honest...and usually after I've said that they're being a bit too much they will chill...
Just dunno why they think it'd work...if someone doesn't reply, there's a reason....sending another 4 messages isn't a good idea lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I agreed to coffee at some point with one guy...I've had over 20 messages from him this morning! I only replied to 6
Seems to happen a lot...as soon as I indulge a little chat, that's it! They want to meet right away and will bombard me with messages
Should I return to my blunt, no fucks given attitude or stick with the softer approach? "
yeah someone blew it with me as he did the same
if they cant wait and be patient for messages to be read, its no fucks given attutude here |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"20?? Goodness me. That would annoy me!!! Depends how much I wanted to meet him as to whether I would block him but pushiness is likely to have me running away!! "
Yup! I've blocked now...and seen off another guy who was going the same way...reeks of desperation  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If they can't take no for an answer, clearly they are not worth answering as they're obviously not or can't read their messages. Block and move on honey! Pushy guys are so not worth it xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Before I start...I don't tar all men with the same brush, have met many single guys from site and will continue to...however...
I'm usually very blunt in messages...if I'm not interested in will say exactly that, definitely not scared to say no. I'm trying to get myself back to meeting solo again and so trying to be a little more open to guys...but I swear to god...if you're polite to some of them they will not leave your alone!!!
I agreed to coffee at some point with one guy...I've had over 20 messages from him this morning! I only replied to 6
Seems to happen a lot...as soon as I indulge a little chat, that's it! They want to meet right away and will bombard me with messages
Should I return to my blunt, no fucks given attitude or stick with the softer approach? "
That's not persistence, that's stalker-ish |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I reply when I want to, regardless of how many messages they send. If they kept bombarding me with messages I'd probably ignore them all after a while. "
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Before I start...I don't tar all men with the same brush, have met many single guys from site and will continue to...however...
I'm usually very blunt in messages...if I'm not interested in will say exactly that, definitely not scared to say no. I'm trying to get myself back to meeting solo again and so trying to be a little more open to guys...but I swear to god...if you're polite to some of them they will not leave your alone!!!
I agreed to coffee at some point with one guy...I've had over 20 messages from him this morning! I only replied to 6
Seems to happen a lot...as soon as I indulge a little chat, that's it! They want to meet right away and will bombard me with messages
Should I return to my blunt, no fucks given attitude or stick with the softer approach? "
Just block and move on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"20?? Goodness me. That would annoy me!!! Depends how much I wanted to meet him as to whether I would block him but pushiness is likely to have me running away!!
Yup! I've blocked now...and seen off another guy who was going the same way...reeks of desperation "
Its more an insecurity issue for a lot of guys. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"20?? Goodness me. That would annoy me!!! Depends how much I wanted to meet him as to whether I would block him but pushiness is likely to have me running away!!
Yup! I've blocked now...and seen off another guy who was going the same way...reeks of desperation "
 good on ya xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I try not to block people unless they're rude...just cos I enjoy chatting to all kinds of people...I'm honest...and usually after I've said that they're being a bit too much they will chill...
Just dunno why they think it'd work...if someone doesn't reply, there's a reason....sending another 4 messages isn't a good idea lol"
we'd have blocked after 5... |
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"Before I start...I don't tar all men with the same brush, have met many single guys from site and will continue to...however...
I'm usually very blunt in messages...if I'm not interested in will say exactly that, definitely not scared to say no. I'm trying to get myself back to meeting solo again and so trying to be a little more open to guys...but I swear to god...if you're polite to some of them they will not leave your alone!!!
I agreed to coffee at some point with one guy...I've had over 20 messages from him this morning! I only replied to 6
Seems to happen a lot...as soon as I indulge a little chat, that's it! They want to meet right away and will bombard me with messages
Should I return to my blunt, no fucks given attitude or stick with the softer approach?
Just block and move on. "
Exactly! .....secretly I think some women like the attention and have nothing better to do....otherwise why would you want to come on here and post about it.....
The sort of people I guess that would be on the book of faces posting about every single thing they do during the day ....  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I find the ones that persistent message at are the ones that unlos pretty quickly.
It puts me off, reeks of desperation and I know without meeting them they're not for me.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The question I always ask myself is this, if someone is pushy, disrespectful, inconsiderate, desperate etc when messaging, what are they going to be like in person? What's the likelihood of them respecting my wishes if we were in an intimate scenario.
I like to feel like I can trust someone before I even agree to meet them socially, if they do or say anything which causes me concern, it's very unlikely they'll even get that far.
I don't think you need to change your open, friendly approach OP, not where genuine people are concerned, but don't be afraid to use the block button more liberally in order to maintain a positive experience on here. You're under no obligation to explain yourself to anybody.
V x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It makes me block . Sometimes I can't reply straight away. Sometimes I want to think of my reply. If they are persistent in messages then they are likely to be like that in other areas and it's just not for me . |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"Agree with most of the above. Irony is that the more needy they become the less likely their needs are to be met.....play it cool guys the ladies here are tough (and realistic)!"
and the more likely they are to get frustrated and start the abuse lol
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We all have lives in the awful "real world " unfortunately it usually takes precedence.
I hate the ?????? Messages if I've not replied quick enough. Or the meet me now messages that just demand it.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I try not to block people unless they're rude...just cos I enjoy chatting to all kinds of people...I'm honest...and usually after I've said that they're being a bit too much they will chill...
Just dunno why they think it'd work...if someone doesn't reply, there's a reason....sending another 4 messages isn't a good idea lol"
Maybe he's been on the receiving end of bring ignored by too many too long and suddenly you've given him the christmas present hes never had before. Suddenly all those emotions have got the better of him and he has loads of questions. He may not see that its pushy but pure excitement has the better of him. Just saying another possible perspective. He may calm down and find his level. May turn out to actually be a very very nice guy and you could dismiss him and loose a diamond. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Before I start...I don't tar all men with the same brush, have met many single guys from site and will continue to...however...
I'm usually very blunt in messages...if I'm not interested in will say exactly that, definitely not scared to say no. I'm trying to get myself back to meeting solo again and so trying to be a little more open to guys...but I swear to god...if you're polite to some of them they will not leave your alone!!!
I agreed to coffee at some point with one guy...I've had over 20 messages from him this morning! I only replied to 6
Seems to happen a lot...as soon as I indulge a little chat, that's it! They want to meet right away and will bombard me with messages
Should I return to my blunt, no fucks given attitude or stick with the softer approach? "
What you describe isn't persistence imo, it's harassment.
He deserves a block.
I get what you mean, a guy sends a compliment, you reply a simple thank you and they take that to mean you want to meet! 
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Before I start...I don't tar all men with the same brush, have met many single guys from site and will continue to...however...
I'm usually very blunt in messages...if I'm not interested in will say exactly that, definitely not scared to say no. I'm trying to get myself back to meeting solo again and so trying to be a little more open to guys...but I swear to god...if you're polite to some of them they will not leave your alone!!!
I agreed to coffee at some point with one guy...I've had over 20 messages from him this morning! I only replied to 6
Seems to happen a lot...as soon as I indulge a little chat, that's it! They want to meet right away and will bombard me with messages
Should I return to my blunt, no fucks given attitude or stick with the softer approach?
Just block and move on.
Exactly! .....secretly I think some women like the attention and have nothing better to do....otherwise why would you want to come on here and post about it.....
The sort of people I guess that would be on the book of faces posting about every single thing they do during the day .... "
The forums are here for people to have discussions... funny, I had another woman message me privately saying I should be grateful of the attention lol
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"I try not to block people unless they're rude...just cos I enjoy chatting to all kinds of people...I'm honest...and usually after I've said that they're being a bit too much they will chill...
Just dunno why they think it'd work...if someone doesn't reply, there's a reason....sending another 4 messages isn't a good idea lol
Maybe he's been on the receiving end of bring ignored by too many too long and suddenly you've given him the christmas present hes never had before. Suddenly all those emotions have got the better of him and he has loads of questions. He may not see that its pushy but pure excitement has the better of him. Just saying another possible perspective. He may calm down and find his level. May turn out to actually be a very very nice guy and you could dismiss him and loose a diamond."
That's actually not a good excuse, it's good manners to wait for a reply. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I try not to block people unless they're rude...just cos I enjoy chatting to all kinds of people...I'm honest...and usually after I've said that they're being a bit too much they will chill...
Just dunno why they think it'd work...if someone doesn't reply, there's a reason....sending another 4 messages isn't a good idea lol
Maybe he's been on the receiving end of bring ignored by too many too long and suddenly you've given him the christmas present hes never had before. Suddenly all those emotions have got the better of him and he has loads of questions. He may not see that its pushy but pure excitement has the better of him. Just saying another possible perspective. He may calm down and find his level. May turn out to actually be a very very nice guy and you could dismiss him and loose a diamond.
That's actually not a good excuse, it's good manners to wait for a reply. "
It is good manners, as it to reply to someone's messages but Fab tells the ladies its not. As far,as not a good excuse... I was just giving a possible reason behind the excited messaging rather than the standard in the box thinking that many use. If people on her were to walk more in others shoes rather than wearing bout their own maybe it be a happier place for the ladies was well as the men. This topic comes up every week or most days. Just giving another opinion but not expecting many to see it. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I try not to block people unless they're rude...just cos I enjoy chatting to all kinds of people...I'm honest...and usually after I've said that they're being a bit too much they will chill...
Just dunno why they think it'd work...if someone doesn't reply, there's a reason....sending another 4 messages isn't a good idea lol
Maybe he's been on the receiving end of bring ignored by too many too long and suddenly you've given him the christmas present hes never had before. Suddenly all those emotions have got the better of him and he has loads of questions. He may not see that its pushy but pure excitement has the better of him. Just saying another possible perspective. He may calm down and find his level. May turn out to actually be a very very nice guy and you could dismiss him and loose a diamond.
That's actually not a good excuse, it's good manners to wait for a reply.
It is good manners, as it to reply to someone's messages but Fab tells the ladies its not. As far,as not a good excuse... I was just giving a possible reason behind the excited messaging rather than the standard in the box thinking that many use. If people on her were to walk more in others shoes rather than wearing bout their own maybe it be a happier place for the ladies was well as the men. This topic comes up every week or most days. Just giving another opinion but not expecting many to see it."
This whole "it's rude not to reply to every message" thing really pisses me off....do you have time to reply to 100s of messages each day? Cos I sure as fuckery don't! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I try not to block people unless they're rude...just cos I enjoy chatting to all kinds of people...I'm honest...and usually after I've said that they're being a bit too much they will chill...
Just dunno why they think it'd work...if someone doesn't reply, there's a reason....sending another 4 messages isn't a good idea lol
Maybe he's been on the receiving end of bring ignored by too many too long and suddenly you've given him the christmas present hes never had before. Suddenly all those emotions have got the better of him and he has loads of questions. He may not see that its pushy but pure excitement has the better of him. Just saying another possible perspective. He may calm down and find his level. May turn out to actually be a very very nice guy and you could dismiss him and loose a diamond.
That's actually not a good excuse, it's good manners to wait for a reply.
It is good manners, as it to reply to someone's messages but Fab tells the ladies its not. As far,as not a good excuse... I was just giving a possible reason behind the excited messaging rather than the standard in the box thinking that many use. If people on her were to walk more in others shoes rather than wearing bout their own maybe it be a happier place for the ladies was well as the men. This topic comes up every week or most days. Just giving another opinion but not expecting many to see it.
This whole "it's rude not to reply to every message" thing really pisses me off....do you have time to reply to 100s of messages each day? Cos I sure as fuckery don't! "
And this is the difference between the males and females on here. Many males are lucky to get a reply or first message, they tend to forget that the females have to deal with dozens or more. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I try not to block people unless they're rude...just cos I enjoy chatting to all kinds of people...I'm honest...and usually after I've said that they're being a bit too much they will chill...
Just dunno why they think it'd work...if someone doesn't reply, there's a reason....sending another 4 messages isn't a good idea lol
Maybe he's been on the receiving end of bring ignored by too many too long and suddenly you've given him the christmas present hes never had before. Suddenly all those emotions have got the better of him and he has loads of questions. He may not see that its pushy but pure excitement has the better of him. Just saying another possible perspective. He may calm down and find his level. May turn out to actually be a very very nice guy and you could dismiss him and loose a diamond.
That's actually not a good excuse, it's good manners to wait for a reply.
It is good manners, as it to reply to someone's messages but Fab tells the ladies its not. As far,as not a good excuse... I was just giving a possible reason behind the excited messaging rather than the standard in the box thinking that many use. If people on her were to walk more in others shoes rather than wearing bout their own maybe it be a happier place for the ladies was well as the men. This topic comes up every week or most days. Just giving another opinion but not expecting many to see it.
This whole "it's rude not to reply to every message" thing really pisses me off....do you have time to reply to 100s of messages each day? Cos I sure as fuckery don't!
And this is the difference between the males and females on here. Many males are lucky to get a reply or first message, they tend to forget that the females have to deal with dozens or more."
Sometimes I don't reply to a message if I'm not interested. In the fab world it's accepted practice. |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"I try not to block people unless they're rude...just cos I enjoy chatting to all kinds of people...I'm honest...and usually after I've said that they're being a bit too much they will chill...
Just dunno why they think it'd work...if someone doesn't reply, there's a reason....sending another 4 messages isn't a good idea lol
Maybe he's been on the receiving end of bring ignored by too many too long and suddenly you've given him the christmas present hes never had before. Suddenly all those emotions have got the better of him and he has loads of questions. He may not see that its pushy but pure excitement has the better of him. Just saying another possible perspective. He may calm down and find his level. May turn out to actually be a very very nice guy and you could dismiss him and loose a diamond.
That's actually not a good excuse, it's good manners to wait for a reply.
It is good manners, as it to reply to someone's messages but Fab tells the ladies its not. As far,as not a good excuse... I was just giving a possible reason behind the excited messaging rather than the standard in the box thinking that many use. If people on her were to walk more in others shoes rather than wearing bout their own maybe it be a happier place for the ladies was well as the men. This topic comes up every week or most days. Just giving another opinion but not expecting many to see it."
Actually, whilst I get your point, fab says that no reply is no interest and not considered rude, but surely after you answered a message and have real life to deal with, why keep sending messages, it just leads to frustration on both sides, surely? |
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