FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > What's your number one piece of advice for newbie swingers?
What's your number one piece of advice for newbie swingers?
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"This is mainly aimed at people who have been swinging a long time, but thoughts from anyone are welcome. What's the one piece of advice you'd give a man, woman or couple just starting out?"
Go to the clubs, it’s far superior and much more where the real folk are. |
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Don't do anything you're not comfortable with, no matter how much you feel pressured.
Also (and this might sound harsh) don't make another dull and pointless "rate my profile" / "help me get a meet" thread, just search the forums and look at previous advice. |
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Do what you like! 
Talk it through beforehand (lots) and be completely honest - it leads to the most fun in the long term
Then just do what works for you. Fuck polite society, fuck the people who have a go at you online for whatever your choices may be (here or otherwise) and go for whatever it is that gives you the most fun, in the way that gives you the most fun.
Enjoy! |
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By *LUKCouple
over a year ago
Loughborough |
Make your rules and set your boundaries when sober. If you're d*unk and feeling like breaking those boundaries, don't.
There's always a next time if you want to take it further. |
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"This is mainly aimed at people who have been swinging a long time, but thoughts from anyone are welcome. What's the one piece of advice you'd give a man, woman or couple just starting out?"
Treat every single profile that contacts you as being fake until they prove otherwise. |
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Be yourself , honest , and always keep it safe as possible meeting unknowns ....but its an adventure too ,so sometimes a little caution must be thrown into the wind for sexual enlightenment and good like minded company ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Keep a clear view of what you want from Fab; don't get sucked in and let it get out of proportion; keep it light, even in the face of the mind fuckers and flakes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Don't kid yourself people you meet here are your friends or having any interest in you bar shagging you, even those you have met multiple times and feel you know will show their true colours if sex is no longer on the menu. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Get along to the organised socials great way of meeting people face to face over a drink. Organised all over the country so sure you’ll have one not far from where you live |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don't kid yourself people you meet here are your friends or having any interest in you bar shagging you, even those you have met multiple times and feel you know will show their true colours if sex is no longer on the menu."
That isn't universally true. I met my best friend here, haven't played in about 4 years. Never will now probably, we can all have very different experiences on here.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Remember everyone has a reason for being here. Try not to be judgemental and be polite. People will wind you up, let you down, lie and try to manipulate you. Never forget you are in control, not them. Be yourself above all else. |
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Enjoy yourself, respect others, don’t take it too seriously, talk to people, be honest with them and yourself about whether you fancy them, only play when you want to and stop when you stop enjoying yourself - go to several clubs before you conclude you like or dislike clubs ; ) |
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By *addubMan
over a year ago
dublin. 12 |
Socials & meet & greets are a good way of meeting others in the scene easy going, no presure to play, just chat and take the advice from them, before dipping your toes. Always play safe. Enjoy yourselves. Happy Fabbing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is mainly aimed at people who have been swinging a long time, but thoughts from anyone are welcome. What's the one piece of advice you'd give a man, woman or couple just starting out?"
Look, fellas - don't ask why you aren't getting any success on the forum, unless you look like Tom Hardy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Advice for all categories:
Respect boundaries - They are set for a reason. It is not your right to "educate" someone and force something just to show someone what they are missing or that you can do it right.
No means No. If you need that explaining, grab your coat and fuck off.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Advice for all categories:
Respect boundaries - They are set for a reason. It is not your right to "educate" someone and force something just to show someone what they are missing or that you can do it right.
No means No. If you need that explaining, grab your coat and fuck off.
"
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Communication is key. Never adjust your boundaries unless you both want to. Better to leave it till another time than do something too soon or that you aren't both comfortable with. If you aren't happy with the way a meet is going, either stop it or change things round, even if it means interrupting play. Never do anything you don't want to do. |
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If a profile that you like doesn't respond to your message or deletes without reading it...shrug it off and don't take it personally. ..and keep looking for the profiles you like rather than trying to be what some profiles want you to be...
Oh and if you are bi / bi curious, be open about it in your profile..thinking that you have to be Straight so that certain profiles you are interested in will like you will just hinder your progress. ..be open and honest.. |
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By *isty286Couple
over a year ago
Dorset |
Decide where your boundaries lie, slowly explore pushing them rather than rushing to try everything in one week, it's a journey not a goal, enjoy talking together about what to try next, that way it enhances you love life, instead of replaces it. |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
time, patience, basic common sense....
go at a speed you are happy with, talk to people and generally "don't be an arse!"
that about covers it..... if it seems too good to be true, it normally is.. and think with your brain and not your nether regions! |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"Dont expect too much from this site!"
rather than being that negative I would say don't just use this site and think of it as the be all and end all.... think of it as part of a much bigger jigsaw where you can get all the parts to work for you! |
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Never take one for the team.
Talk and talk some more.
If one is not happy both stop.
Take a break when needed.
Rock up to a club if you can and have some fun, saves looking on here.
Most of all both enjoy yourselves and capture the moments, and take lots of pics and videos if you can! Xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For men, try a little charm/be a gentleman... it will set you apart from the crowd more than abs and a big dick ever will..
There’s lots of sexy looking men on here, not as many respectful ones who seem like they’d be good company and a good shag.
For women, if he’s not respectful and seems uptight/judgemental... don’t meet him.. or don’t take it further than the social. As good as he may look, he’s likely to be a crap shag if he’s got a poor attitude.
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Never swagger in like you've got the only sexual organs on offer.
We all have them.
We all like them.
We all want them to get exercised.
But never assume that just because you have them that your the only one and everyone must shag you. |
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Personally, I'd say you have to know what you want. If you're a couple you both have to know what each other wants. Talk to people, get to know them and find your mind if people. So love dick pics others like cute Snapchat selfies.
As for clubs, they aren't right for everyone. Be it through location, timing or other practicalities.
Good luck to all of us though.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is mainly aimed at people who have been swinging a long time, but thoughts from anyone are welcome. What's the one piece of advice you'd give a man, woman or couple just starting out?
Go to the clubs, it’s far superior and much more where the real folk are."
Spot on |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Never accidentally swallow the water in a swing club jacuzzi"
If you are in any way hygiene-conscious, never even venture into a club jacuzzi/hot tub! People play in them even though it's usually "banned." But if you're not as fastidious as me, go for it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Dobt be a newbie swinger on Fab as most people don't swing here. It's a wanking Facebook site at best
Our sentiments exactly, lots of ego massaging but very little swinging. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My advice is when uploading your first three pic make sure that one is a face pic
So many guys make the mistake when first joining to upload three pics of their manhood
I like to see who I'm talking to not what they've got in the trouser department |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Advice for all categories:
Respect boundaries - They are set for a reason. It is not your right to "educate" someone and force something just to show someone what they are missing or that you can do it right.
No means No. If you need that explaining, grab your coat and fuck off.
"
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Completely agree with the black knickers in a club comment. They do go missing!
For the ladies I would suggest you always check he has a condom on and be prepared for accidents (they do break and fall off) and steathing (bastards). Both require a different response and it can be hard to judge which.
Talk with your Hubby lots beforehand and lots afterwards. Always ensure you are both on the same page.
If you need a drink to loosen up thats fine, if you need to get wrecked then this isn't for you.
Sx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is mainly aimed at people who have been swinging a long time, but thoughts from anyone are welcome. What's the one piece of advice you'd give a man, woman or couple just starting out?
Go to the clubs, it’s far superior and much more where the real folk are."
See current post on single guys in clubs for alternative perspectives. some good info on guys experiences by newbies. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don't believe everything you're told. Often people will lie and manipulate to get what they want.
Trust your gut instinct always "
This one - always always trust ur gut instinct. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think its different for women, couples,and guys. Thid advise is cleaned from my meets friends and forums.
If you are a woman put all your filters up, have a couple nice tasteful pics with most covered and spend a few days looking. If your are already a site supporter, go ghost while looking at profiles.
If you're a guy a few tasteful pics...put ur pecker away we all know what they look like and a bit of creativity and imagination in your photos are helpful. Carefully write your profile and recheck for spelling and grammar be for posting. DON'T message everyone and if you message someone be polite and interesting, having read the others profile and pick up on something of interest in it. Little bit of humour goes,some way to getting a reply. Get involved in forums but don't get caught in debate or argument early on. Take advice whethervyou agree or not.
Couples... Not an area im familiar with but will say this. As the guy in it don't come across that ure using ur lady patner as bait (too many do). Don't treat singles as a you to be used for your needs. Its the main thing that has kept me away all this time from meeting couples other than socially at an M&G. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Go to clubs to start as no pressure to play."
That's the deep end and Id advise against it personally as a single guy, but others usually more experienced guys have had different experiences. But for a new guy.... Definitely not. Far too many walls,and barriers put up by couples,who tar all single guys with the same brush.
Worth reading through all the comments especially those by couples on the current Single Guys at Clubs post in the forum. |
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By *andb69Couple
over a year ago
leeds |
"This is mainly aimed at people who have been swinging a long time, but thoughts from anyone are welcome. What's the one piece of advice you'd give a man, woman or couple just starting out?
Go to the clubs, it’s far superior and much more where the real folk are."
Agreed. Clubs are safe, clean and non-pushy. You get to see who you can play with before deciding, and you don't have any problems with no shows. |
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Disregard the negative comments about people on Fab, it is what you make of it, your experiences on here will be driven by what YOU do, and how much effort YOU put in.
Make the effort to go to one organised social (as an example), and you could end up with several veries, a party invite or two, and some friends, one or two of whom could become lifelong besties... not to mention having a fun night out, and maybe even a little "apres-social" shenanigans lol!
It is what YOU make of it. |
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