FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Why do people play so many games?
Why do people play so many games?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Sometimes I think people are here boost their ego or looking to get free meals on a social lol.
I’ve had 2 women talk to me for ages, want to meet, suddenly go quiet then display verifications from someone that they must’ve seen as a better option |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If it make you feel better happened to me recently. 3 times in a row. Hotels booked everytime. Problem is some of these women are getting 100 plus messages a day. Probability is there is a better offer. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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here's a lil tips if u are looking for NSA fun
1 don't do social unless it's a clUb it's time waste planning weeks for a meal then chat endless message then forgotten
2 don't talk any one more than 2 weeks if theyou can't meet in side 2 weeks leaves them move on to the next one
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I never did meal's on a meet just a drink/coffee. Oh actually that's a lie,but the meal was only because the meet's were going well and went on a while.
Yeah scrap that,I did however go half's unless he insisted otherwise. |
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Some people play games in all areas of life, not just fab. It happens to us all at some point.
I'm interested that you think some women just want a free meal. Do you expect something in return or are they just refusing to split the bill? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"here's a lil tips if u are looking for NSA fun
1 don't do social unless it's a clUb it's time waste planning weeks for a meal then chat endless message then forgotten
2 don't talk any one more than 2 weeks if theyou can't meet in side 2 weeks leaves them move on to the next one
"
I wouldn't necessarily take his advice!
*Socials are important for many women to feel comfortable and safe with strangers. However I wouldn't be buying them meals. I won't even let a social meet buy me a coffee!
*people have many commitments and responsibilities in the real world, not everyone can meet at the drop of a hat. Expecting women to meet within a fortnight can be unrealistic. For example my ex works offshore so I can have 3 weeks without a babysitter. If someone insisted I should be able to meet within two weeks they'd get the boot for being pushy and impatient.
As for verifications while you chat this is swinging! Just because they are talking/planning to meet you doesn't mean they shouldn't meet someone else! There are an abundance of reasons why they could meet him and not You! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"here's a lil tips if u are looking for NSA fun
1 don't do social unless it's a clUb it's time waste planning weeks for a meal then chat endless message then forgotten
2 don't talk any one more than 2 weeks if theyou can't meet in side 2 weeks leaves them move on to the next one
I wouldn't necessarily take his advice!
*Socials are important for many women to feel comfortable and safe with strangers. However I wouldn't be buying them meals. I won't even let a social meet buy me a coffee!
*people have many commitments and responsibilities in the real world, not everyone can meet at the drop of a hat. Expecting women to meet within a fortnight can be unrealistic. For example my ex works offshore so I can have 3 weeks without a babysitter. If someone insisted I should be able to meet within two weeks they'd get the boot for being pushy and impatient.
As for verifications while you chat this is swinging! Just because they are talking/planning to meet you doesn't mean they shouldn't meet someone else! There are an abundance of reasons why they could meet him and not You! "
This.  |
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"here's a lil tips if u are looking for NSA fun
1 don't do social unless it's a clUb it's time waste planning weeks for a meal then chat endless message then forgotten
2 don't talk any one more than 2 weeks if theyou can't meet in side 2 weeks leaves them move on to the next one
I wouldn't necessarily take his advice!
*Socials are important for many women to feel comfortable and safe with strangers. However I wouldn't be buying them meals. I won't even let a social meet buy me a coffee!
*people have many commitments and responsibilities in the real world, not everyone can meet at the drop of a hat. Expecting women to meet within a fortnight can be unrealistic. For example my ex works offshore so I can have 3 weeks without a babysitter. If someone insisted I should be able to meet within two weeks they'd get the boot for being pushy and impatient.
As for verifications while you chat this is swinging! Just because they are talking/planning to meet you doesn't mean they shouldn't meet someone else! There are an abundance of reasons why they could meet him and not You! "
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By *inful xWoman
over a year ago
In a sleepy little village |
"Sometimes I think people are here boost their ego or looking to get free meals on a social lol.
I’ve had 2 women talk to me for ages, want to meet, suddenly go quiet then display verifications from someone that they must’ve seen as a better option "
Op so you were chatting to 2 people and that's ok but they aren't allowed to chat to others too ? It's a swinging site after all so you can't expect to be the only one they are chatting too.
As for arranging meets /socials I have a strict 2 wk rule as to avoid weeks of chat to never meet  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"here's a lil tips if u are looking for NSA fun
1 don't do social unless it's a clUb it's time waste planning weeks for a meal then chat endless message then forgotten
2 don't talk any one more than 2 weeks if theyou can't meet in side 2 weeks leaves them move on to the next one
I wouldn't necessarily take his advice!
*Socials are important for many women to feel comfortable and safe with strangers. However I wouldn't be buying them meals. I won't even let a social meet buy me a coffee!
*people have many commitments and responsibilities in the real world, not everyone can meet at the drop of a hat. Expecting women to meet within a fortnight can be unrealistic. For example my ex works offshore so I can have 3 weeks without a babysitter. If someone insisted I should be able to meet within two weeks they'd get the boot for being pushy and impatient.
As for verifications while you chat this is swinging! Just because they are talking/planning to meet you doesn't mean they shouldn't meet someone else! There are an abundance of reasons why they could meet him and not You! "
Off-topic but wow nice ass  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Social should be for a beer or a coffee....not food really .that's more like a date.
If your meeting socially to take things further book the hotel on line at the social ... |
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"Social should be for a beer or a coffee....not food really .that's more like a date.
If your meeting socially to take things further book the hotel on line at the social ..."
I think socials should be whatever the people arranging them want them to be. If all agree that a meal would be nice why is that bad? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sometimes I think people are here boost their ego or looking to get free meals on a social lol.
I’ve had 2 women talk to me for ages, want to meet, suddenly go quiet then display verifications from someone that they must’ve seen as a better option "
Happens to everyone at some point. Not a nice feeling, but best not to dwell on it or take it personally.
Here is one example of my experience on this:
Was chatting to a woman and everything seemed to be going well... we appeared to be a good match, but she said she was extremely busy so our communication slowed down and our attempts to meet were not convenient.
Guess what...
Verification pops up saying she spent two days with a guy!
At least she told the truth because she was 'extremely busy' 
Here is the thing though...
She kept on saying I was the 'perfect' guy for her. Apparently I ticked all the boxes so I don't know if she was playing a game or got a better option as you put it OP.
#confused
I don't mind if people meet others as long as they are happy and having fun that is all that matters. I just need honesty. It's the deception that puts me off.
I find it difficult to trust after that and give second chances so to protect myself I move on.
I always look for the good in everyone until their words don't match their actions.
Actions speak louder than words and all that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This happens to us women too!
Unfortunately it seems there are time wasters out there. And it is disheartening "
Least you get the offers to choose from try creating a mans profile and see how it works x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Exactly this, all anyone wants is for others to be open and honest.
Play with who you want, just be straight, upfront and don’t string me along then mess me abouy.
"Sometimes I think people are here boost their ego or looking to get free meals on a social lol.
I’ve had 2 women talk to me for ages, want to meet, suddenly go quiet then display verifications from someone that they must’ve seen as a better option
Happens to everyone at some point. Not a nice feeling, but best not to dwell on it or take it personally.
Here is one example of my experience on this:
Was chatting to a woman and everything seemed to be going well... we appeared to be a good match, but she said she was extremely busy so our communication slowed down and our attempts to meet were not convenient.
Guess what...
Verification pops up saying she spent two days with a guy!
At least she told the truth because she was 'extremely busy'
Here is the thing though...
She kept on saying I was the 'perfect' guy for her. Apparently I ticked all the boxes so I don't know if she was playing a game or got a better option as you put it OP.
#confused
I don't mind if people meet others as long as they are happy and having fun that is all that matters. I just need honesty. It's the deception that puts me off.
I find it difficult to trust after that and give second chances so to protect myself I move on.
I always look for the good in everyone until their words don't match their actions.
Actions speak louder than words and all that "
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"here's a lil tips if u are looking for NSA fun
1 don't do social unless it's a clUb it's time waste planning weeks for a meal then chat endless message then forgotten
2 don't talk any one more than 2 weeks if theyou can't meet in side 2 weeks leaves them move on to the next one
"
Rubbish. If I was meeting for a social it would be a quick drink with a view to playing after if we got along.
And 2 weeks?!  my life doesn't revolve around fab. I make the effort to meet people who I have a spark with, but I'm not gonna fill every spare minute I have meeting people off here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"here's a lil tips if u are looking for NSA fun
1 don't do social unless it's a clUb it's time waste planning weeks for a meal then chat endless message then forgotten
2 don't talk any one more than 2 weeks if theyou can't meet in side 2 weeks leaves them move on to the next one
Rubbish. If I was meeting for a social it would be a quick drink with a view to playing after if we got along.
And 2 weeks?! my life doesn't revolve around fab. I make the effort to meet people who I have a spark with, but I'm not gonna fill every spare minute I have meeting people off here."
I've spoken for months before meeting. It's rare I'll meet anyone within two weeks. Not even for a social meet. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sometimes I think people are here boost their ego or looking to get free meals on a social lol.
I’ve had 2 women talk to me for ages, want to meet, suddenly go quiet then display verifications from someone that they must’ve seen as a better option "
I'd sooner buy my own meal rather than spend hours/weeks talking to someone online who then probably will bail out at the last minute!
Seriously, I am here for sexual adventures, not for a free pizza or burger
A drink or a coffee date is way better for a social meet anyways I think. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have been offered meals but it doesn't appeal to me. The only socials I do are coffee meets. I would agree if after 2 weeks no meet, I,m not into chat, I just like enough chat to size a man up XXX |
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By *lan157Man
over a year ago
a village near Haywards Heath in East Sussex |
I like to have a social meet with a potential playmate. It gives both of us a chance to assess the other which messaging alone does not give.Thete are indicators that you are going to be messed about and the two week rule for a social is a good one but I use 3 weeks and I have gone longer but don't expect to much contact in tbe interim. As for socials looking like a date then that's fine by me.It's all part of my social life. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We probably break a lot of men's rules. Our meets will probably be organised about 3 to 4 weeks ahead, simply because I have to wait for my mother to have the children for the night. Would normally chat on Whatsapp in the meantime. Our meets are quite 'date' like, but what's wrong with that? This has on occasion included eating out, but thats no different from something one might do with a vanilla friend of a family member. Since when has eating out become something one only does on a proper date? Oh yeah and we also have our playmates over to our house and we'll cook for them. Why? Because we treat our playmates like friends. However, the plus side is that we never ever cancel. We never ever pass anyone over for a better offer. And we'll play on the first meet if practical.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This happens to us women too!
Unfortunately it seems there are time wasters out there. And it is disheartening "
This! I've had it happen to me plenty of times.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I guess when I'm meeting I'd be viewed by many as playing games or a time waster. It takes me a very long time to suss someone out via messaging and chatting... way longer than the 2 weeks suggested above. And certainly while I'm in the early stages of getting to know one guy, I may meet someone else. If I do then you can guarantee I've been chatting to them way longer... often months before agreeing to meet them. I don't think that means I'm here to play games. I just do things way differently. Having said that, I'm always upfront about the way I do things so when chatting to anyone new they have the option not to bother. |
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By *aenMan
over a year ago
Here and There |
I engage in all of this with no expectations, then anything that happens is a pleasant surprise 
If it's just chat, hey ho. For a first meet I'd aim for a coffee, that way if either of you aren't in to the other it's not a major time commitment and you can both leave it at that.
In my limited experience, some ladies are happy to meet relatively quickly, others are more hesitant. I guess it's down to personality. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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OP I see you added to your profile that you will move on if a social hasn't taken place within 2 weeks. I'm curious as to whether you would be understanding if someone said to you that they wouldn't have a child free night for 4 weeks, but they were willing to get that date in the diary as a definite? Or if someone said 'next weekend I'm on holiday and the following weekend I'm going to a wedding, but any weekend after that I'm all yours' would you pass them by?
Mrs |
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By *KMaxMan
over a year ago
Bristol |
"OP I see you added to your profile that you will move on if a social hasn't taken place within 2 weeks. I'm curious as to whether you would be understanding if someone said to you that they wouldn't have a child free night for 4 weeks, but they were willing to get that date in the diary as a definite? Or if someone said 'next weekend I'm on holiday and the following weekend I'm going to a wedding, but any weekend after that I'm all yours' would you pass them by?
Mrs"
Deadlines are so sexy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sometimes I think people are here boost their ego or looking to get free meals on a social lol.
I’ve had 2 women talk to me for ages, want to meet, suddenly go quiet then display verifications from someone that they must’ve seen as a better option "
It's just the way it goes. For cpls and single women it's all about ego boosting. Don't take it personally x |
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Chatting for a while is good
We are all here for different reasons ..
Some people just want notches on the bed post
Others want to take it slower
I always request a a social
On neutral ground .....but normally after a couple of weeks of chatting ....so you get an idea of their personality .I wont go to a hotel or invite someone to mine .....im very cautious ....dont give up OP .
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sometimes I think people are here boost their ego or looking to get free meals on a social lol.
I’ve had 2 women talk to me for ages, want to meet, suddenly go quiet then display verifications from someone that they must’ve seen as a better option "
did they meet them on dates you were discussing for your meets? or are they just meeting others who can fit in with their free time? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The best way, in my experience, to get rid of the game players/timewasters is to ask for a phone chat as soon as you can.
Genuine people will have no problem with a chat. Everyone else always has an excuse. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
As for verifications while you chat this is swinging! Just because they are talking/planning to meet you doesn't mean they shouldn't meet someone else! There are an abundance of reasons why they could meet him and not You! "
yep...we've got a couple of guys locally we've been talking to but life has been madness so unable to arrange any free time...in the time we've been messaging, we've put up numerous verifications from meets that have been arranged for months. We have to do that because our lives are massively full, nit because we're playing games and I imagine many others are in the same position |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The best way, in my experience, to get rid of the game players/timewasters is to ask for a phone chat as soon as you can.
Genuine people will have no problem with a chat. Everyone else always has an excuse."
Not necessarily true. I would always turn a phone chat down as I’m shy, a little phone phobic and worry about how it would go. Doesn’t mean I’m not genuine, just lacking confidence
L x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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All a phone call does is prove that someone answers a call. It doesn't mean they will meet.
As for the 2 week rule, that is me out. My availiability is such that I have to plan months in advance.
Bottom line?
Don't worry about what other people are up to. If they get a meet or are verified whilst waiting to meet you, it is their business. They could have been building up to that meet for months.
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"Sometimes I think people are here boost their ego or looking to get free meals on a social lol.
I’ve had 2 women talk to me for ages, want to meet, suddenly go quiet then display verifications from someone that they must’ve seen as a better option "
a meal?? they would be lucky if we brought them a coffee |
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"I guess when I'm meeting I'd be viewed by many as playing games or a time waster. It takes me a very long time to suss someone out via messaging and chatting... way longer than the 2 weeks suggested above. And certainly while I'm in the early stages of getting to know one guy, I may meet someone else. If I do then you can guarantee I've been chatting to them way longer... often months before agreeing to meet them. I don't think that means I'm here to play games. I just do things way differently. Having said that, I'm always upfront about the way I do things so when chatting to anyone new they have the option not to bother. "
your the same as us loiuse chats to couples and men for weeks even months before we go any further then its a coffee then if that goes ok its either plan a date for playing or straight after the coffee
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"Can now see the attraction of a club as it saves all this bollocks really. "
Don’t view clubs as ‘The Answer’ mate, as they are a completely different ballgame, with their own rules, mindset, eggshell-walking, and frustrations. Learn to use the block button, and strip out anyone who doesn’t match what you are looking for, or who you don’t match what they are looking for. Then, you narrow your field to actual POTENTIALS, so you concentrate on people you are more likely to be successful with. If they start messing you around, so you’re getting nowhere, block and move on. Don’t get wound up, just be brutal, you’ll forget them in a day or two, and give someone else your full attention. Good luck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"here's a lil tips if u are looking for NSA fun
1 don't do social unless it's a clUb it's time waste planning weeks for a meal then chat endless message then forgotten
2 don't talk any one more than 2 weeks if theyou can't meet in side 2 weeks leaves them move on to the next one
"
I have to disagree.
The majority of my meets have been through a social. That's usually a coffee or soft drink as I tend to drive. I wouldn't organise a meal for a social. That's not to say it couldn't evolve into that.
Two weeks and you move on? Well then you must be extremely popular and have loads of offers! I have met inside two weeks, on occasion same day, but the majority have taken place over many messages, weeks, months even years on occasion. I guess it depends on your outlook. If it works for you, then why change it.
Op, I've seen posts on this before in the forums, don't take it personally, learn from it and have no expectations. That way you will never be disappointed. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Its happened to me quite a bit as well ! Its the reason I only meet first time at clubs unless someone is heavily verified and known to my mates, then I'll take the risk.
Once met at a club, if an attraction and connection is there then a meet can be arranged with a reasonable amount of confidence xx |
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Absolutely I recently visited a club for an arranged meet with a couple but ended up not playing it just didn't seem to click but as a result of being there I met another couple who are not even on the sight and had a fantastic time.All being well meeting up again this weekend |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Personally we can't stand all the tennis chat,too many times it leads to nothing, prefer to just arrange a meet and then chat when there, this isn't a dating site  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Personally we can't stand all the tennis chat,too many times it leads to nothing, prefer to just arrange a meet and then chat when there, this isn't a dating site "
and some like their meets to be dates, not me but does happen |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Personally we can't stand all the tennis chat,too many times it leads to nothing, prefer to just arrange a meet and then chat when there, this isn't a dating site
and some like their meets to be dates, not me but does happen"
Well they should join match.com then |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Personally we can't stand all the tennis chat,too many times it leads to nothing, prefer to just arrange a meet and then chat when there, this isn't a dating site
and some like their meets to be dates, not me but does happen
Well they should join match.com then "
yeah i have said that to people before now on a reply to message and been reported lol |
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Some woman/men have busy life's,work,family etc it's not always possible to meet within 2 weeks,you have had a couple of woman you found wasted your time not everyone does
I for example am only free on a Saturday night when the ex has my child overnight,saying that I have plans every weekend,next free 23rd December but that depends what party/club night comes up
Also there are alot of ladies like me who only meet new people at parties/clubs,that's where I found my fb's to meet private
It's not about ego for me,it's about swinging being a fun curricular activity 
No hassles |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Personally we can't stand all the tennis chat,too many times it leads to nothing, prefer to just arrange a meet and then chat when there, this isn't a dating site
and some like their meets to be dates, not me but does happen"
I think the site is a bit of everything..never looked a match.com sites but I don't think who I am and what I seek would be very successful there.
That said I do like a little more then a quick one off as my interests are built on trust and that requires more then a couple of messages.
So it all depends on what your looking for here... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Personally we can't stand all the tennis chat,too many times it leads to nothing, prefer to just arrange a meet and then chat when there, this isn't a dating site
and some like their meets to be dates, not me but does happen
Well they should join match.com then "
But match.com is for singles. So if my husband and I want to meet a man and make it a 'date' like experience, it has to be from a swingers site. Even when I meet alone, I would have to lie about marital status, if I were to find dates through match.com.
Mrs |
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"The best way, in my experience, to get rid of the game players/timewasters is to ask for a phone chat as soon as you can.
Genuine people will have no problem with a chat. Everyone else always has an excuse.
Not necessarily true. I would always turn a phone chat down as I’m shy, a little phone phobic and worry about how it would go. Doesn’t mean I’m not genuine, just lacking confidence
L x"
Genuine question. If you are too shy to talk on the phone why are you not too shy to meet someone in person. Surely that is more intimidating? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Personally we can't stand all the tennis chat,too many times it leads to nothing, prefer to just arrange a meet and then chat when there, this isn't a dating site
and some like their meets to be dates, not me but does happen
Well they should join match.com then
But match.com is for singles. So if my husband and I want to meet a man and make it a 'date' like experience, it has to be from a swingers site. Even when I meet alone, I would have to lie about marital status, if I were to find dates through match.com.
Mrs "
and thats it, people use the site how they want to |
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If it says clearly in your profile that's the case then that's fine and you are on here for your benefit and for others anyone not happy with that can move on.
I've usually found you can only find out about real chemistry face to face and anyone wanting to play message tennis for weeks would bore me stupid.Why waste time on them when there's lots of nice genuine peeps looking for fun. |
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Your in Milton keynes, so here's some personallised advice. If you are chatting to someone a long distance away, such as Inverness or Cornwall, then it's probably going to be complicated and cost prohibitive to meet for a social. So chat away but bear in mind that it will probably come to nothing.
However, if they are in MK, or nearby towns like Luton or Bedford, then arrange to meet for a coffee, a drink or to feed the ducks if you like. It needn't be expensive, and it shouldn't be too difficult to arrrange. If the other person won't, then move on.
Good luck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Your in Milton keynes, so here's some personallised advice. If you are chatting to someone a long distance away, such as Inverness or Cornwall, then it's probably going to be complicated and cost prohibitive to meet for a social. So chat away but bear in mind that it will probably come to nothing.
However, if they are in MK, or nearby towns like Luton or Bedford, then arrange to meet for a coffee, a drink or to feed the ducks if you like. It needn't be expensive, and it shouldn't be too difficult to arrrange. If the other person won't, then move on.
Good luck "
good advice |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The best way, in my experience, to get rid of the game players/timewasters is to ask for a phone chat as soon as you can.
Genuine people will have no problem with a chat. Everyone else always has an excuse.
Not necessarily true. I would always turn a phone chat down as I’m shy, a little phone phobic and worry about how it would go. Doesn’t mean I’m not genuine, just lacking confidence
L x
Genuine question. If you are too shy to talk on the phone why are you not too shy to meet someone in person. Surely that is more intimidating? "
It would depend on the person, I sometimes am. Our profile states that messaging beforehand is a must for me, because I need to feel a certain level of comfort before I could meet someone. I always warn people who have asked to meet me in advance that I’m shy and can be a bit awkward, the few I’ve met so far have been happy to take the lead. The thought of lapsing into a silence during a face to face meeting is far less scary to me than doing the same on the phone though. Nobody ever said phobias were rational! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can now see the attraction of a club as it saves all this bollocks really. "
that wont save u either u going to get isolated n neglected like a crap n then u will have a wank on the dark corner done head down time n money wasted god bless America
|
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Not necessarily make some effort and actually speak to people you may be surprised by the outcome.Dont make any effort and follow all the ladies about without speaking and yes you may end up wanking in the corner on your own |
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"here's a lil tips if u are looking for NSA fun
1 don't do social unless it's a clUb it's time waste planning weeks for a meal then chat endless message then forgotten
2 don't talk any one more than 2 weeks if theyou can't meet in side 2 weeks leaves them move on to the next one
I wouldn't necessarily take his advice!
*Socials are important for many women to feel comfortable and safe with strangers. However I wouldn't be buying them meals. I won't even let a social meet buy me a coffee!
*people have many commitments and responsibilities in the real world, not everyone can meet at the drop of a hat. Expecting women to meet within a fortnight can be unrealistic. For example my ex works offshore so I can have 3 weeks without a babysitter. If someone insisted I should be able to meet within two weeks they'd get the boot for being pushy and impatient.
As for verifications while you chat this is swinging! Just because they are talking/planning to meet you doesn't mean they shouldn't meet someone else! There are an abundance of reasons why they could meet him and not You! "
Exactly this I have 2 jobs so I do find it difficult to meet at short notice but I turn up to my meets and buy my own drinks/food |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can now see the attraction of a club as it saves all this bollocks really. that wont save u either u going to get isolated n neglected like a crap n then u will have a wank on the dark corner done head down time n money wasted god bless America "
This is garbage. You need to go to clubs with the right attitude
Its no one's responsibility to make you feel welcome, or ensure your money is well spent! |
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"Never offer a meal as a social.
I was offered a 3 course dinner , wine and a night at the theatre earlier today. All I could think of was what a waste of good fucking time  "
top gal honest unusual on here. |
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By *loppsyWoman
over a year ago
marlow |
"Not necessarily make some effort and actually speak to people you may be surprised by the outcome.Dont make any effort and follow all the ladies about without speaking and yes you may end up wanking in the corner on your own"
Exactly
From my experience in clubs it’s the men who make no effort and just expect play end up having a wank alone. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Not necessarily make some effort and actually speak to people you may be surprised by the outcome.Dont make any effort and follow all the ladies about without speaking and yes you may end up wanking in the corner on your own
Exactly
From my experience in clubs it’s the men who make no effort and just expect play end up having a wank alone. "
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"Not necessarily make some effort and actually speak to people you may be surprised by the outcome.Dont make any effort and follow all the ladies about without speaking and yes you may end up wanking in the corner on your own
Exactly
From my experience in clubs it’s the men who make no effort and just expect play end up having a wank alone. "
My experience in clubs has been being ignored and avoided, like a leper, with people turning their heads as they see you trying to catch their eye, or walking in their direction, and the look of 'just another single guy hoping to empty his sack' on their faces |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Can now see the attraction of a club as it saves all this bollocks really. that wont save u either u going to get isolated n neglected like a crap n then u will have a wank on the dark corner done head down time n money wasted god bless America
This is garbage. You need to go to clubs with the right attitude
Its no one's responsibility to make you feel welcome, or ensure your money is well spent!"
what's the right attitude mum? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If it make you feel better happened to me recently. 3 times in a row. Hotels booked everytime. Problem is some of these women are getting 100 plus messages a day. Probability is there is a better offer. "
Still no excuse for doing that - at least have the bollocks to tell you - and the men who do it to women too |
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By *ll 4 herCouple
over a year ago
Bury/Bolton |
"here's a lil tips if u are looking for NSA fun
1 don't do social unless it's a clUb it's time waste planning weeks for a meal then chat endless message then forgotten
2 don't talk any one more than 2 weeks if theyou can't meet in side 2 weeks leaves them move on to the next one
"
We only get out once a month due to childcare and work.
I guess under your rules as we were out at the weekend and won't be out until the end of the November we wouldn't be able to meet with you then?  |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"Sometimes I think people are here boost their ego or looking to get free meals on a social lol.
I’ve had 2 women talk to me for ages, want to meet, suddenly go quiet then display verifications from someone that they must’ve seen as a better option
Happens to everyone at some point. Not a nice feeling, but best not to dwell on it or take it personally.
Here is one example of my experience on this:
Was chatting to a woman and everything seemed to be going well... we appeared to be a good match, but she said she was extremely busy so our communication slowed down and our attempts to meet were not convenient.
Guess what...
Verification pops up saying she spent two days with a guy!
At least she told the truth because she was 'extremely busy'
Here is the thing though...
She kept on saying I was the 'perfect' guy for her. Apparently I ticked all the boxes so I don't know if she was playing a game or got a better option as you put it OP.
#confused
I don't mind if people meet others as long as they are happy and having fun that is all that matters. I just need honesty. It's the deception that puts me off.
I find it difficult to trust after that and give second chances so to protect myself I move on.
I always look for the good in everyone until their words don't match their actions.
Actions speak louder than words and all that "
perhaps she had arranged to meet him before talking to you? |
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"Sometimes I think people are here boost their ego or looking to get free meals on a social lol.
I’ve had 2 women talk to me for ages, want to meet, suddenly go quiet then display verifications from someone that they must’ve seen as a better option "
You can get free meals on a social!!!???
Where!? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"here's a lil tips if u are looking for NSA fun
1 don't do social unless it's a clUb it's time waste planning weeks for a meal then chat endless message then forgotten
2 don't talk any one more than 2 weeks if theyou can't meet in side 2 weeks leaves them move on to the next one
"
Some mileage in this. I allow 2 weeks from initial chat to arrange a meet for locals. If they're across the water or further down south then I'll keep it simmering. Sometimes the simmering naturally boils away and that natural filter selection.
If they're interested they'll get back, but don't waste too much time as you'll be missing out someone waiting in the wings. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I guess when I'm meeting I'd be viewed by many as playing games or a time waster. It takes me a very long time to suss someone out via messaging and chatting... way longer than the 2 weeks suggested above. And certainly while I'm in the early stages of getting to know one guy, I may meet someone else. If I do then you can guarantee I've been chatting to them way longer... often months before agreeing to meet them. I don't think that means I'm here to play games. I just do things way differently. Having said that, I'm always upfront about the way I do things so when chatting to anyone new they have the option not to bother. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Some of the replies have me in hysterics! I don’t take this site too seriously, I will be considering my first club though "
Well you obviously do take this site extremely seriously. Otherwise why else would you be concerned about someone you're chatting to going quiet followed by them meeting someone else? Go with the flow and if it happens in 2 weeks or 2 months what does it matter? If they go quiet because they go off you what does it matter? Chill and don't take this site so seriously.
Mrs |
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Hopefully the OP has now got the just of this thread
Basically don't take people on here's word on anything unless you've actually met them.
Get yourself spruced up into a busy club or social
Speak to people politely and you can have some great fun with loads of people and all this while Miss or mrs funny nickers is still finishing her knitting pattern and fantasising about a social meet possibly a month away.
Surely the way to go. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It’s about choice and the freedom to change minds nobody is exclusive. We all need to understand that chatting and even meeting at any point one person can say no . Not games just freedom of choice, no matter how much time has been invested. I know it’s rough and annoying. Good luck in the future |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Can now see the attraction of a club as it saves all this bollocks really. that wont save u either u going to get isolated n neglected like a crap n then u will have a wank on the dark corner done head down time n money wasted god bless America
This is garbage. You need to go to clubs with the right attitude
Its no one's responsibility to make you feel welcome, or ensure your money is well spent!what's the right attitude mum?"
You've advised another forum user that if he goes to clubs, he will be 'neglected' and isolated
On what do you base this advice? |
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"Sometimes I think people are here boost their ego or looking to get free meals on a social lol.
I’ve had 2 women talk to me for ages, want to meet, suddenly go quiet then display verifications from someone that they must’ve seen as a better option "
We couldn't think of anything worse than meeting someone for a meal on a social.
Who wants to play on a full stomach if it gets that far?
Sound like freeloaders to us. |
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Absolutely not I think you may have misread the thread.My comments were a reply to a posters comments whern he stated that if he attended a club he'd be in a dark corner on his own being ignored etc.
I agreed with him that this would be the case if went with a negative attitude and he didn't communicate with people and just spent his time following women about.
However I also said if made an effort he would find he could be pleasantly suprised |
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I prefer to meet face to face fairly quickly to out those who are ‘armchair’ fabbers. Sometimes however, it’s just not possible - life gets in the way for both parties. Life comes before Fab. Christ, if I used this as my social life I’d start to worry... good luck to those who set 2 week time limits. I hope you’re not missing out on a gem that has other priorities in life. |
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That last post shows it can happen to anyone so it's not just the OP
But Ive found arranged meets usually happen ok after you've all met in a club.
If someone's willing to meet you half way in a club then that to me shows some commitment. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Now I think about it, I think this has happened to us 3 times. I.e. a date was being discussed and then it didn't happen. One dumped us for another couple, another went quiet but our paths have since crossed at a club and from conversations we have since had I suspect he bottled it, the third went quiet and i suspect judging from his verifications that he preferred single ladies. We never saw it that we had been messed about and certainly didn't regard those men as timewasters. We tried to arrange something and they changed their mind with ample notice. Big deal. I'd have a different view if they cancelled at the last minute. Now that we don't tolerate.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Absolutely not I think you may have misread the thread.My comments were a reply to a posters comments whern he stated that if he attended a club he'd be in a dark corner on his own being ignored etc.
I agreed with him that this would be the case if went with a negative attitude and he didn't communicate with people and just spent his time following women about.
However I also said if made an effort he would find he could be pleasantly suprised "
Indeed
You need to press 'reply and quote'
Otherwise no one knows who you are responding to. And confusion ensues |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"Sometimes I think people are here boost their ego or looking to get free meals on a social lol.
I’ve had 2 women talk to me for ages, want to meet, suddenly go quiet then display verifications from someone that they must’ve seen as a better option "
the way i am reading this is just because they are talking to you they should only be talking to you?
am i reading that right? |
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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
"Now I think about it, I think this has happened to us 3 times. I.e. a date was being discussed and then it didn't happen. One dumped us for another couple, another went quiet but our paths have since crossed at a club and from conversations we have since had I suspect he bottled it, the third went quiet and i suspect judging from his verifications that he preferred single ladies. We never saw it that we had been messed about and certainly didn't regard those men as timewasters. We tried to arrange something and they changed their mind with ample notice. Big deal. I'd have a different view if they cancelled at the last minute. Now that we don't tolerate.
Mrs"
Love your thinking |
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By *imonP23Man
over a year ago
Shepton Mallet |
Interesting to see the different perspectives on this.
I recently binned a gorgeous 24-year-old hottie (on another site) because after exchanging several messages, she was taking too long to commit to a meeting. She was beyond my usual range (in Taunton), so I already had my doubts about the viability of a relationship with her, but it might have worked out if she had shown a clear intention to actually meet me. It's all about eliminating timewasters. If someone has a legitimate reason why they can't meet very soon, then so be it, but they should at least explain what it is. Otherwise I'd seek to eliminate the frustration of online flirting that just never seems to actually go anywhere. If you like someone, don't string him along, MEET him!
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Wrong
"Sometimes I think people are here boost their ego or looking to get free meals on a social lol.
I’ve had 2 women talk to me for ages, want to meet, suddenly go quiet then display verifications from someone that they must’ve seen as a better option
the way i am reading this is just because they are talking to you they should only be talking to you?
am i reading that right?"
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
Had a social meet posted for two days now, the only replies I've had are for different days, meet at my house, car or hotel! Seems that lots whinge about not getting meets but when they are posted try to persuade you to do something different! |
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We have only used the Meets / events section for just a social drink and a chat on 3 or 4 ocassions and have always had a meet from it.
Some have been just the social ice breaker and others have led to a second meet. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Sometimes I think people are here boost their ego or looking to get free meals on a social lol.
I’ve had 2 women talk to me for ages, want to meet, suddenly go quiet then display verifications from someone that they must’ve seen as a better option
Happens to everyone at some point. Not a nice feeling, but best not to dwell on it or take it personally.
Here is one example of my experience on this:
Was chatting to a woman and everything seemed to be going well... we appeared to be a good match, but she said she was extremely busy so our communication slowed down and our attempts to meet were not convenient.
Guess what...
Verification pops up saying she spent two days with a guy!
At least she told the truth because she was 'extremely busy'
Here is the thing though...
She kept on saying I was the 'perfect' guy for her. Apparently I ticked all the boxes so I don't know if she was playing a game or got a better option as you put it OP.
#confused
I don't mind if people meet others as long as they are happy and having fun that is all that matters. I just need honesty. It's the deception that puts me off.
I find it difficult to trust after that and give second chances so to protect myself I move on.
I always look for the good in everyone until their words don't match their actions.
Actions speak louder than words and all that "
The meet may have been prearranged. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"There is always someone more shiny out there ! There is no loyalty these days. I honestly can't wait for the rise of the sex robots ! "
Why would you owe loyalty to someone you don't know? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Sometimes I think people are here boost their ego or looking to get free meals on a social lol.
I’ve had 2 women talk to me for ages, want to meet, suddenly go quiet then display verifications from someone that they must’ve seen as a better option
It's just the way it goes. For cpls and single women it's all about ego boosting. Don't take it personally x"
Rightio |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Perhaps they like those games. Stick to your own rules.
I prefer to meet for a social within a week of first chatting, to see if we get on in person. Then no time wasted if it didn't work out. It works for me and puts off the people that don't want that. |
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"Had a social meet posted for two days now, the only replies I've had are for different days, meet at my house, car or hotel! Seems that lots whinge about not getting meets but when they are posted try to persuade you to do something different! "
Could’ve been worse; you may have had no replies at all. Which is the only response I’ve ever had when I’ve listed a meet |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"Had a social meet posted for two days now, the only replies I've had are for different days, meet at my house, car or hotel! Seems that lots whinge about not getting meets but when they are posted try to persuade you to do something different!
Could’ve been worse; you may have had no replies at all. Which is the only response I’ve ever had when I’ve listed a meet "
been through the meets section too and nothing there either lol |
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"Had a social meet posted for two days now, the only replies I've had are for different days, meet at my house, car or hotel! Seems that lots whinge about not getting meets but when they are posted try to persuade you to do something different!
Could’ve been worse; you may have had no replies at all. Which is the only response I’ve ever had when I’ve listed a meet been through the meets section too and nothing there either lol"
Just pop along to your local club then; always rich pickings for a single woman |
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"Had a social meet posted for two days now, the only replies I've had are for different days, meet at my house, car or hotel! Seems that lots whinge about not getting meets but when they are posted try to persuade you to do something different! "
Your location may have something to do with that..
|
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"Sometimes I think people are here boost their ego or looking to get free meals on a social lol.
I’ve had 2 women talk to me for ages, want to meet, suddenly go quiet then display verifications from someone that they must’ve seen as a better option "
OP if people meet someone before you . It's maybe just because you are not offering them what they need! There are no rules here! Each to their own ... We have choices .. you play by someone elses rules or you move on and find someone who wants the same as you or is happy to play by your rules! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Was chatting to a woman and everything seemed to be going well... we appeared to be a good match, but she said she was extremely busy so our communication slowed down and our attempts to meet were not convenient.
Guess what...
Verification pops up saying she spent two days with a guy!
At least she told the truth because she was 'extremely busy'
Here is the thing though...
She kept on saying I was the 'perfect' guy for her. Apparently I ticked all the boxes so I don't know if she was playing a game or got a better option as you put it OP.
#confused
I don't mind if people meet others as long as they are happy and having fun that is all that matters. I just need honesty. It's the deception that puts me off.
I find it difficult to trust after that and give second chances so to protect myself I move on.
I always look for the good in everyone until their words don't match their actions.
Actions speak louder than words and all that
The meet may have been prearranged."
Also @MsGivesWood because she gave the same reply.
That could be true, but I am going by the conversations we were having. She kept on saying she knows what she is looking for and I apparently was the man, but she can't meet because she was 'extremely busy' due to personal things going on. We had detailed conversations.
And she had the meet about 6-8 week'ish after we had been communicating. Her verification came up on my friends updates so that just really surprised me. It would have been nice to know she has changed her mind or at least say wants to postpone. Say something, anything is better than silent treatment.
These things happen I suppose. Sometimes people can't be open and honest. For me trust is a big thing no matter what the circumstances are.
Yes we are all strangers when we first engage, but that transition going from online strangers to meeting is based on trust. |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"Had a social meet posted for two days now, the only replies I've had are for different days, meet at my house, car or hotel! Seems that lots whinge about not getting meets but when they are posted try to persuade you to do something different!
Could’ve been worse; you may have had no replies at all. Which is the only response I’ve ever had when I’ve listed a meet been through the meets section too and nothing there either lol
Just pop along to your local club then; always rich pickings for a single woman "
3 and a half hours drive lol |
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"Had a social meet posted for two days now, the only replies I've had are for different days, meet at my house, car or hotel! Seems that lots whinge about not getting meets but when they are posted try to persuade you to do something different!
Could’ve been worse; you may have had no replies at all. Which is the only response I’ve ever had when I’ve listed a meet been through the meets section too and nothing there either lol
Just pop along to your local club then; always rich pickings for a single woman 3 and a half hours drive lol"
And knowing your sense of direction, that’s a mission too far lol |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"Had a social meet posted for two days now, the only replies I've had are for different days, meet at my house, car or hotel! Seems that lots whinge about not getting meets but when they are posted try to persuade you to do something different!
Your location may have something to do with that..
"
not really they just seem to want instant sex. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Had a social meet posted for two days now, the only replies I've had are for different days, meet at my house, car or hotel! Seems that lots whinge about not getting meets but when they are posted try to persuade you to do something different!
Could’ve been worse; you may have had no replies at all. Which is the only response I’ve ever had when I’ve listed a meet been through the meets section too and nothing there either lol
Just pop along to your local club then; always rich pickings for a single woman "
sounds easy like getting a candy from the shop |
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"Had a social meet posted for two days now, the only replies I've had are for different days, meet at my house, car or hotel! Seems that lots whinge about not getting meets but when they are posted try to persuade you to do something different!
Could’ve been worse; you may have had no replies at all. Which is the only response I’ve ever had when I’ve listed a meet been through the meets section too and nothing there either lol
Just pop along to your local club then; always rich pickings for a single woman sounds easy like getting a candy from the shop "
It usually is, in a club, for a single woman |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
My experience in clubs has been being ignored and avoided, like a leper, with people turning their heads as they see you trying to catch their eye, or walking in their direction, and the look of 'just another single guy hoping to empty his sack' on their faces"
No disrespect to you but like us all you are “just another single guy” and if you go to a club is the real underlying reason you are there not to “empty your sack”
Come on, let’s keep it real you don’t go to clubs in the hope of finding a friend or sit chatting about the weather.
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"
My experience in clubs has been being ignored and avoided, like a leper, with people turning their heads as they see you trying to catch their eye, or walking in their direction, and the look of 'just another single guy hoping to empty his sack' on their faces
No disrespect to you but like us all you are “just another single guy” and if you go to a club is the real underlying reason you are there not to “empty your sack”
Come on, let’s keep it real you don’t go to clubs in the hope of finding a friend or sit chatting about the weather.
"
I totally agree mate, but all too often single guys are chastised for not trying to get involved, or criticised for not being forward enough, or slated for being too upfront. It's a slog for sure, and no wonder you only see roughly 1 in 10 club reviews from a single guy in the listings. Clubs, in the main, are for couples to meet other couples, the exception being BMFC or Greedy Girl events where single guys are actively sought |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There is always someone more shiny out there ! There is no loyalty these days. I honestly can't wait for the rise of the sex robots ! "
Loyalty? It's swinging, the only person I'd be loyal to see a hubby I'd I was married and not swinging. B |
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"Sometimes I think people are here boost their ego or looking to get free meals on a social lol.
I’ve had 2 women talk to me for ages, want to meet, suddenly go quiet then display verifications from someone that they must’ve seen as a better option "
Wgat wrong with that ? |
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By *lceeWoman
over a year ago
Leeds |
"Sometimes I think people are here boost their ego or looking to get free meals on a social lol.
I’ve had 2 women talk to me for ages, want to meet, suddenly go quiet then display verifications from someone that they must’ve seen as a better option
Wgat wrong with that ?"
Yeah, I don’t see an issue here. Sometimes you meet someone that you really click with, and the others you’re chatting to just pale a little. It sucks but it’s how it is. And a meal? A MEAL?! I need to up my expectations from a social - it’s usually a drink...that I pay for! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The best way, in my experience, to get rid of the game players/timewasters is to ask for a phone chat as soon as you can.
Genuine people will have no problem with a chat. Everyone else always has an excuse."
Im genuine but i wont chat on the phone ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"All a phone call does is prove that someone answers a call. It doesn't mean they will meet.
As for the 2 week rule, that is me out. My availiability is such that I have to plan months in advance.
Bottom line?
Don't worry about what other people are up to. If they get a meet or are verified whilst waiting to meet you, it is their business. They could have been building up to that meet for months.
"
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