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Tough etiquette decision
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By *ll 4 her OP Couple
over a year ago
Bury/Bolton |
We are hoping for some advice on what to do tonight. We have had a meet arranged for a couple of weeks and the single guy we are supposed to meet has not been online now for two days now. We prefer all contact through here so we don't do fab phones etc.
The conversation was left last weekend that the meet was still on, and we would decide between us all to either meet in a bar first, or at the club nearer the night.
So to the question, as they haven't been online and having seen this before and the meet never happens, do we start looking for another meet or wait to see what develops? What would you guys think do in this scenario?
Thanks |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Start looking we've had this loads of times. Some guys just like the thrill of chase and all talk. That's why we've decide we won't travel nor accommodate. It gets annoying sometimes. Good luck.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Id send a message explaining there has been no contact for 2 weeks, if you havent received confirmation by a set time (to fit your plans) then I'd do your own thing. |
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By *ll 4 her OP Couple
over a year ago
Bury/Bolton |
"Start looking we've had this loads of times. Some guys just like the thrill of chase and all talk. That's why we've decide we won't travel nor accommodate. It gets annoying sometimes. Good luck. "
Yeah we had decided we'd only meet in clubs but that has proved hard work, they have good verifications and more than 1 or 2 and recent so we'd assumed we'd got the best chance we could.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Id send a message explaining there has been no contact for 2 weeks, if you havent received confirmation by a set time (to fit your plans) then I'd do your own thing."
Second that |
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By *ll 4 her OP Couple
over a year ago
Bury/Bolton |
"Id send a message explaining there has been no contact for 2 weeks, if you havent received confirmation by a set time (to fit your plans) then I'd do your own thing."
It has only been a week and we did message yesterday to start the confirmation bit moving. But if they don't come online it is no help. But thanks for the input  |
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"We are hoping for some advice on what to do tonight. We have had a meet arranged for a couple of weeks and the single guy we are supposed to meet has not been online now for two days now. We prefer all contact through here so we don't do fab phones etc.
The conversation was left last weekend that the meet was still on, and we would decide between us all to either meet in a bar first, or at the club nearer the night.
So to the question, as they haven't been online and having seen this before and the meet never happens, do we start looking for another meet or wait to see what develops? What would you guys think do in this scenario?
Thanks "
. Hiya lovelies, it's a tough one, but just this post shows that you care and are unsure what the right thing to do is, now the chap in question could have some personal tragedy happening and can't get online, or could just have changed his mind and isn't sure how best to let you down, so is staying offline, either way the chances are that he's not turning up, so I'd say go ahead and make new plans, but message him first to explain that as you hadn't heard from him you thought it best to make new plans, this way if and when he does come back online he knows what your plans are, and he will either apologise or you'll never hear from again, good luck, I'm sure you'll have no trouble finding someone, have a super fun night, Mrs blue eyes |
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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago
Paisley |
Why not get a pay as you go phone just to exchange a number then you can at least send a text message.
I can't always access Fab but I usually use kik or WhatsApp or my number just to make sure people are there at times or more likely I'm running late. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Id send a message explaining there has been no contact for 2 weeks, if you havent received confirmation by a set time (to fit your plans) then I'd do your own thing."
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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago
Hillside desolate |
I've been in this situation before, as lots of us probably have. Arrange another guy but tell him about the first and that you're not sure if he's going to make it. You might end up with both!  |
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Do you mean you were planning meeting in a specific bar or at a specific club?
I'd message and say that you've not heard from him, so you'll see him in the club.
Then, if (seems unlikely) he turns up, all will carry on. If he doesn't there'll be other fun to be had.
Good luck, have fun either way. |
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"Thanks for the replies, our meet has now been online but not replied to our message so looks like we'll be looking for a plan B.
"
time to use the block button then! Hope you have a good night despite this |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
I would send a polite message stating you've heard nothing so as far as you are concerned it's off, go look elsewhere. If someone goes offline a couple of days before it generally means they won't turn up. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Speaking as a guy, if he hasn't been in contact then I would assume he will be a no show, especially if he has been online and ignored your message.
Personally speaking I would make contact at least the day before and on the day even up to an hour beforehand. I once had organised a meet with a couple and didn't hear from them for the week before, message ignored, another message on the day to say... I assume we are not meeting today, as you haven't answered my previous message. To their credit they did message back a couple of hours before the meeting was due to say they had changed their minds. But I had already worked that out and wouldn't have wasted my time.
Plan B! |
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By *ll 4 her OP Couple
over a year ago
Bury/Bolton |
"Thanks for the replies, our meet has now been online but not replied to our message so looks like we'll be looking for a plan B.
Yeah, come to our house instead  "
Thanks for the invite, that's one heck of a trek though unfortunately |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Seems to happen so often! Maybe people should have someone in reserve just in case. I'm sure a few men wouldn't mind this.
Hope you get something sorted OP! I'm free as it happens.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Id send a message explaining there has been no contact for 2 weeks, if you havent received confirmation by a set time (to fit your plans) then I'd do your own thing.
It has only been a week and we did message yesterday to start the confirmation bit moving. But if they don't come online it is no help. But thanks for the input "
I think most guys who wanted to meet who could only make contact on here would have the sense to log in especially if you hadn't nailed down when and where.
I'm with the others on sending a message that if you don't hear by a certain time you're assuming its off. We've had to do that in the past, invariably we've never heard any more from guys who've gone quiet I the days before a meet. Seeing now he's been online and not responded definitely think you're reasonable to make other plans. |
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"Seems to happen so often! Maybe people should have someone in reserve just in case. I'm sure a few men wouldn't mind this.
Hope you get something sorted OP! I'm free as it happens. "
I don't think guys like being the second best option!! I know we wouldn't meet on that basis and we wouldn't set up guys like that either. If the meet turns to shit then we have each other. |
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"Sound like 99.9% of guys all talk look for alternative if we was you
ooo nice to know Im in the top 0.01% for somthing then. "
 funny. And as a well verified gent I'm sure this broad brush attitude is annoying. Then again, we got let down one time by a guy with more veris than you. He decided at the 11th hour that he wasn't brave enough to cope with Sirs presence so could he come and shag me on his own  |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"Thanks for the replies, our meet has now been online but not replied to our message so looks like we'll be looking for a plan B.
Did he read it?"
good point...if he has then definitely plan b and block him |
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By *ll 4 her OP Couple
over a year ago
Bury/Bolton |
"Thanks for the replies, our meet has now been online but not replied to our message so looks like we'll be looking for a plan B.
Did he read it?"
No he didn't, one of our biggest frustrations on here, single man and his ability to read.
We've now had so many messages that we can't reply to all, but most are clearly from people who didn't read our profile and in no way match what we're looking for, so now lots of others won't get a reply either  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thanks for the replies, our meet has now been online but not replied to our message so looks like we'll be looking for a plan B.
Did he read it?
No he didn't, one of our biggest frustrations on here, single man and his ability to read.
We've now had so many messages that we can't reply to all, but most are clearly from people who didn't read our profile and in no way match what we're looking for, so now lots of others won't get a reply either "
You still have each other. See it as a learning experience. Lots of good advice on the thread. |
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By *ll 4 her OP Couple
over a year ago
Bury/Bolton |
"Thanks for the replies, our meet has now been online but not replied to our message so looks like we'll be looking for a plan B.
Did he read it?
No he didn't, one of our biggest frustrations on here, single man and his ability to read.
We've now had so many messages that we can't reply to all, but most are clearly from people who didn't read our profile and in no way match what we're looking for, so now lots of others won't get a reply either
You still have each other. See it as a learning experience. Lots of good advice on the thread. "
Thanks and yes we do and we have picked up some more great advice which we will definitely put in place in the future. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Most frustrating thing ever.
We've been let down so many times, some at the last minute.
Fair enough sometimes life just gets in the way, but we've had it where we've actually arranged a time and place and sat there waiting. One guy even said just setting off now etc.
Our advice would be limit what you send and keep stuff on here.
We came off Kik and the likes when people were just picture hunting.
Careful not to tar all single blokes with the same brush though. There's some good ones on here. |
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By *ll 4 her OP Couple
over a year ago
Bury/Bolton |
"Most frustrating thing ever.
We've been let down so many times, some at the last minute.
Fair enough sometimes life just gets in the way, but we've had it where we've actually arranged a time and place and sat there waiting. One guy even said just setting off now etc.
Our advice would be limit what you send and keep stuff on here.
We came off Kik and the likes when people were just picture hunting.
Careful not to tar all single blokes with the same brush though. There's some good ones on here. "
Thanks guys and we don't exchange anything outside this site anyway.
Yes we've sat in a bar waiting once before for a no show.
We do try not to tar all the same but there are so many trying to prove otherwise it gets harder to accept. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Maybe his inbox is over flowing and he's missed your message
I don't limit my contact to this site only so if someone did I may think they don't trust me / liable to change their mind.
Who knows what he's thinking though! |
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By *ll 4 her OP Couple
over a year ago
Bury/Bolton |
"Maybe his inbox is over flowing and he's missed your message
I don't limit my contact to this site only so if someone did I may think they don't trust me / liable to change their mind.
Who knows what he's thinking though!"
We certainly won't that was his last opportunity, we almost arranged something a couple of weeks ago but "a family emergency" got in the way so we gave the benefit of the doubt and another chance, it was their last, they are now blocked. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We always go, even if they don't confirm. We always take a live photo of the venue there and send it via the message system with the message, "Can we assume it's a no show" and then we report and sometimes block.
We never bother going through optimistic or pessimistic thoughts on why they haven't confirmed etc.. you'll stress with that shit.
So we go, enjoy a drink or two, send that photo and hit report. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Our thoughts exactly. If he can't be incontact
Find someone else his loss not yours..
He should have the manners to keep in touch with you...... Manners maketh the man |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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So frustrating OP, we feel your pain.
As everyone else has pretty much said, message them asking what happened, then report, then block.
We’ve been let down so many times it’s crazy. The best to date has been the guy who went awol for two days before our meet, didn’t log in to Fab for a a few days after and then messaged us on Friday saying that he’d lost his phone and would we still be interested in meeting him, more than three weeks after he blew us out. His reason, his phone got nicked and he only just got it back. Pretty sure he could have logged into Fab to tell us he wasn’t going to meet us, you know a little politeness.
The problem is there are so many fantasists on Fab who love the idea of a hot and steamy session, but when it comes to it, it’s just that, a fantasy. Our block list is getting very long as a result haha. It does make us wonder, surely a night of explicit fun is a no brainier, especially considering it’s a buyers market for couples with single guys, the chances of a single guy being chosen by a couple are so slim.
We chalk it up as a lucky escape when they bail, we want people who walk the walk so a no show is a good long term filter lol
It’s a shame though that the reorganising zaps the buzz, we’ve stopped trying to find replacements at short notice and focus on one another instead, we never let the other down.
Hope you had some fun in the end OP x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When we have a first meet arranged, with either singles or couples, we always have a contingency plan, which is usually (but not always) to go to a specific club if they let us down/don't turn up - which happens more often than not in our limited experience. Operating this way results in no disappointment in any case. Works for us ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Our thoughts exactly. If he can't be incontact
Find someone else his loss not yours..
He should have the manners to keep in touch with you...... Manners maketh the man"
He's decided it's not his loss... |
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"We always go, even if they don't confirm. We always take a live photo of the venue there and send it via the message system with the message, "Can we assume it's a no show" and then we report and sometimes block.
We never bother going through optimistic or pessimistic thoughts on why they haven't confirmed etc.. you'll stress with that shit.
So we go, enjoy a drink or two, send that photo and hit report. "
It’s only happened to us the once but this was our exact technique.
We’ve never seen it as a negative, if someone chooses to lose out and cancel/not turn up then we simply get each other to ourselves for an evening.
Social night is ever so easily converted in to date night |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So frustrating OP, we feel your pain.
As everyone else has pretty much said, message them asking what happened, then report, then block.
We’ve been let down so many times it’s crazy. The best to date has been the guy who went awol for two days before our meet, didn’t log in to Fab for a a few days after and then messaged us on Friday saying that he’d lost his phone and would we still be interested in meeting him, more than three weeks after he blew us out. His reason, his phone got nicked and he only just got it back. Pretty sure he could have logged into Fab to tell us he wasn’t going to meet us, you know a little politeness.
The problem is there are so many fantasists on Fab who love the idea of a hot and steamy session, but when it comes to it, it’s just that, a fantasy. Our block list is getting very long as a result haha. It does make us wonder, surely a night of explicit fun is a no brainier, especially considering it’s a buyers market for couples with single guys, the chances of a single guy being chosen by a couple are so slim.
We chalk it up as a lucky escape when they bail, we want people who walk the walk so a no show is a good long term filter lol
It’s a shame though that the reorganising zaps the buzz, we’ve stopped trying to find replacements at short notice and focus on one another instead, we never let the other down.
Hope you had some fun in the end OP x"
This definitely. I don't block but I put a private note on their profile saying timewaster or rude or whatever they did. That way if they get in touch again I just say no thanks |
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