FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Taxi conversation etiquette

Taxi conversation etiquette

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I am a single lady who usually gets an uber to the club, but theres never any available after the club so I usually get a lift home (30 minutes away) Last night I left a club with a taxi number provided by the club. Now I am not getting at the club or the taxi firm - i trust them both completely. It is my driver. I am not ashamed of swinging, however I only talk about it within the swinging community, not fiends and family.

Despite me constantly turning the conversation away from his questions he kept coming back with the following questions.

* You have a good time?

* Was it busy?

* You enjoy yourself?

* You single?

* How busy was it?

* What are the regulars like?

* Are you tired then if it was busy?

* Did you have a good time because it was busy?

* If it wasn't busy would you still be this tired?

* Do you go often?

* How many times a week do you go?

* How long do you stay when you go there?

* Why don't you have a boyfriend?

* What kind of people are in there?

* Will you shower when you get home?

* Do you live alone?

* Can I give you my number then you can call me when you want to go back and I will take you

* Can anyone join?

* How much is membership?

* Why is it so much?

* Where do you work?

* Are drinks free?

* Why do you pay if you have to bring your drinks?

* How much money do you earn in your job to live here? (looking at my apartment0

* Is that the only place you get money from?

Now I answered a lot of these with sarcastic comments, or just pretended not to hear him as i was quite literally fucked. I am never afraid of my safety as i can take care of myself very well, I just wondered if anyone had any tips/advice as to how to handle this next time better? He watched me go into my apartment building (thank god it has an access key and a lift) He just made me feel really uncomfortable.

Has this happened to anyone else? I am sorry its a long post its just been only mind.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

That doesn't sound a nice experience, I can understand whybthey are interested but you'd hope that most adults would have the sense and decorum not to ask.

As his conversation went beyond polite small chat and made you feel uncomfortable I'd consider reporting him to taxi company.

Ginger

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By *lowercandyWoman over a year ago

Lancashire

My first thought us hiwcstrongly do you feel about the drivers actions - as in report to the firm.

No passenger should be quizzed about where they are picked up from be it a club or a zoo

I would probably been sarcastic like you but stated that if he couldn't talk about something else please be quiet as I didn't think I should be harassed. ( the word would usually make them think you'd report them)

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By *hubaysiWoman over a year ago

Leeds

I think you should report him. Those questions are beyond usual taxi driver small talk. You should not have to deal with that it's a form of harrassment.

Take care honey.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

" would probably been sarcastic like you but stated that if he couldn't talk about something else please be quiet as I didn't think I should be harassed. ( the word would usually make them think you'd report them)"

Thats a good use of words. Dropping a buzz word like that would be good next time.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I didn't feet as strongly then as I do now, i really wish I had taken his details now but I didn't. Lesson learnt.

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By *orkfriendsCouple over a year ago

York

The company should have a record of your lift home. You can still report him. It may save somebody else from an even worse experience.

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By *inky-MinxWoman over a year ago

Grantham

"The company should have a record of your lift home. You can still report him. It may save somebody else from an even worse experience. "

True, he was way out of line

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By *obin_and_marionMan over a year ago

Beaconsfield

Out of order.... I would also let the club know... they should not be using that company.

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By *eneathTheDiamondSkyWoman over a year ago

East Anglia

Trust your instincts. A part of you is concerned that he knows where you live. Avoid that firm in future or request a different driver.

If by any chance you get him again don't get in the car.

He's made you really uncomfortable. Listen to that feeling. Maybe read a book called The Gift of Fear. It's about listening to the clues our subconscious gives us.

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By *elloIntrigueMan over a year ago

North West UK

Sorry to read about your experience OP..

I think he went too far and no-one should be made to feel uncomfortable. And if you still have that horrible nagging feeling then I think that you should report him.

I'd also let the club know too and deffo use a different firm next time!

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By *sGivesWoodWoman over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Report him to the club and the taxi firm they will find him through their records, he's way out of line x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Try staring off into the distance with a menacing smile and answer every question by saying rhinoceros and giggling. You won't have to answer more than two questions and I'd wager you get home via the fastest route x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Call me a diehard Londoner but many a times i've put a smile on my face and used the line of "forgive me but I'm rather tired/stressed and so I don't feel like making conversation."

My uber rating is a solid 4.8 so I think it works and saves the awkwardness when the conversation turns to touchy or simply uncomfortable subjects.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I am a single lady who usually gets an uber to the club, but theres never any available after the club so I usually get a lift home (30 minutes away) Last night I left a club with a taxi number provided by the club. Now I am not getting at the club or the taxi firm - i trust them both completely. It is my driver. I am not ashamed of swinging, however I only talk about it within the swinging community, not fiends and family.

Despite me constantly turning the conversation away from his questions he kept coming back with the following questions.

* You have a good time?

* Was it busy?

* You enjoy yourself?

* You single?

* How busy was it?

* What are the regulars like?

* Are you tired then if it was busy?

* Did you have a good time because it was busy?

* If it wasn't busy would you still be this tired?

* Do you go often?

* How many times a week do you go?

* How long do you stay when you go there?

* Why don't you have a boyfriend?

* What kind of people are in there?

* Will you shower when you get home?

* Do you live alone?

* Can I give you my number then you can call me when you want to go back and I will take you

* Can anyone join?

* How much is membership?

* Why is it so much?

* Where do you work?

* Are drinks free?

* Why do you pay if you have to bring your drinks?

* How much money do you earn in your job to live here? (looking at my apartment0

* Is that the only place you get money from?

Has this happened to anyone else? I am sorry its a long post its just been only mind.

YOU NEED TO BE FIRM AND POSITIVE WITH DRIVERS LIKE THIS .

" HOW DARE YOU '

MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS "

IT'S NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU ""

OR SIMILAR .....

YOU SHOULD HAVE MADE A NOTE OF HIS BADGE NUMBER AND REG NUMBER AND REPORTED HIM

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Definitely tell the club about that experience. No need to be badgered like that. What a shit end to a night out. Hopefully that wont happen again. I would of gone nuts if that happened to my wife.

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By *ngel n tedCouple over a year ago

maidstone

You should have got me to take ya, i'd have said "hello....going to (insert your road)? And told you the price at the end. That would be as much conversation as you get.

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By *ilk_TreMan over a year ago

Wherever the party is!

Despite me constantly turning the conversation away from his questions he kept coming back with the following questions.

* You have a good time?

* Was it busy?

* You enjoy yourself?

* You single?

* How busy was it?

* What are the regulars like?

* Are you tired then if it was busy?

* Did you have a good time because it was busy?

* If it wasn't busy would you still be this tired?

* Do you go often?

* How many times a week do you go?

* How long do you stay when you go there?

* Why don't you have a boyfriend?

* What kind of people are in there?

* Will you shower when you get home?

* Do you live alone?

* Can I give you my number then you can call me when you want to go back and I will take you

* Can anyone join?

* How much is membership?

* Why is it so much?

* Where do you work?

* Are drinks free?

* Why do you pay if you have to bring your drinks?

* How much money do you earn in your job to live here? (looking at my apartment0

* Is that the only place you get money from?

Has this happened to anyone else? I am sorry its a long post its just been only mind.

Even as a single guy, I too get awkward questions from the uber driver when I go to my local club. Obviously not as intense as this but irritating nonetheless. Now I pick up and drop off from somewhere around the corner to avoid the inquisition.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

He should be on cctv picking you up. Report it just to be safe

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By *hubaysiWoman over a year ago

Leeds

"Try staring off into the distance with a menacing smile and answer every question by saying rhinoceros and giggling. You won't have to answer more than two questions and I'd wager you get home via the fastest route x"

I'll store this is my memory bank for the future....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I've been known to lie and entertain myself for the journey home. The incredulous looks you can get just by describing a scene from eyes wide shut can be great fun

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By *ost SockMan over a year ago

West Wales and Cardiff

Maybe get your phone out, pretend to play around with it and use a recording app )they are usually built in) to capture the conversation.

Obviously this only works if it's more than just a quick comment. In your case it was.

It's probably just a lonely guy who's intrigued about swingers clubs (I could be talking about myself there!), but he was out of order.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I tbink you should report him to the firm on and the club. The whole point if getting a taxi recommended by the club is to avoid questioning like this. For single fems it is very very important. Both need to know that this driver is totally overstepping the mark. Hope you are ok OP.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm all for a friendly, chatty taxi driver but I have to agree that's borderline harassment. There's some good advice on this forum and some not so good. I think your clever enough to know which ones to take on board. My guess is that he's just a lonely sex deprived male who has no game when it comes to the opposite sex and was hoping you'd offer him sex with his swingers club orientated questions. On the other hand he could of been one of the genuine weirdos! You seem like a nice lady who wouldn't want to be rude or impolite so my advice to you if you get yourself into a situation like this again would be to say that the establishment he picked you up from was your place of employment and your not at liberty to discuss what goes on there. If you don't fancy saying that I suggest setting your ringtone on your phone and pretend to take a call. Answer with

"hi babe" pause

"Ye I'm on my way back now won't be long" pause

Then chat some random talk about how lovely the decor was and so on. Doubt he'll try and talk to you whilst your on the phone.

Or you could just ask me to chaperone you

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By *lkDomWhtSubBiCpleCouple over a year ago

Somewhere / Everywhere /Kinksville

That's creepy. I wouldn't have been at all happy with that.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It isn't just ladies that get this.

Several times when I was younger I'd go to a gay club in Birmingham and get a taxi home.

The amount of taxi drivers asking questions like:

Do I like dick?

Do I suck dick?

Do I live alone?

Could they come in?

They won't charge if I give them a BJ

I just used to say I had a boyfriend in the police and he'd be waiting up for me as he's insanely jealous

This dampened their ardour every time!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I would definitely report him to the taxi firm. Say that his questions made you uncomfortable and that you never want the same driver again. I regularly take taxis to and from clubs alone and find that having a polite yet distant demeanour with taxi drivers prevents any questions.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm all for a friendly, chatty taxi driver but I have to agree that's borderline harassment. There's some good advice on this forum and some not so good. I think your clever enough to know which ones to take on board. My guess is that he's just a lonely sex deprived male who has no game when it comes to the opposite sex and was hoping you'd offer him sex with his swingers club orientated questions. On the other hand he could of been one of the genuine weirdos! You seem like a nice lady who wouldn't want to be rude or impolite so my advice to you if you get yourself into a situation like this again would be to say that the establishment he picked you up from was your place of employment and your not at liberty to discuss what goes on there. If you don't fancy saying that I suggest setting your ringtone on your phone and pretend to take a call. Answer with

"hi babe" pause

"Ye I'm on my way back now won't be long" pause

Then chat some random talk about how lovely the decor was and so on. Doubt he'll try and talk to you whilst your on the phone.

Or you could just ask me to chaperone you

The trouble with that is this driver is still out there, being recommended to pick up women from a swingers club. What if the next one is vulnerable, d*unk or he gets braver cos he's never been challenged? The firm and club need to know what they are recommending to females travelling alone.

Whilst the avoidance techniques are useful it doesn't remove the problem. The club recommending this firm are actually lulling people into a false sense of security.

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By *edonistic needsWoman over a year ago

sexton

Definitely report him to the club if not to the taxi firm. I too would have felt harassed with this type as of questioning. I use the fake phone call technique... Not cos I ve been harassed but after being fucked within an inch of my life the last thing I want to do is be social to an amoeba

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I think you should report him. Those questions are beyond usual taxi driver small talk. You should not have to deal with that it's a form of harrassment.

Take care honey.

"
to be honest the few times I've had a taxi from a club ive had similar. I just took it as part and parcel of natural curiosity. I normally answer with honesty or wildly exaggerate.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I said give a bj every time he drives u n he will shut up n u get free sounds fair to me lol

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By *lkDomWhtSubBiCpleCouple over a year ago

Somewhere / Everywhere /Kinksville

Hmm I'be been thinking about this some more and what I would do if this happened to me. Then I thought, well it would never happen to me actually because if I was ever going to go to a club on my own - I have done in the past a couple of times, there's no way I'd chance my journey back in the hands of a stranger. It's just too much of a vulnerable predicament for me, so I'd always be driving myself back. Yes that also means that i wouldn't be drinking, both make sense to me.

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By *unandbuckCouple over a year ago

Sheffield

Those questions were definately beyond polite and were intrusive. But whether they are at a level where that firm would do anything is debateable. Since it was an Uber, they aren't setup like a regular taxi company, I very much doubt they would take it further unless it was more serious.

I think the OP was too polite in her replies, some people can't take subtle hints. Maybe use subtle at first and much firmer if it continues. Not a nice experience.

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By *ilk_TreMan over a year ago

Wherever the party is!

"Those questions were definately beyond polite and were intrusive. But whether they are at a level where that firm would do anything is debateable. Since it was an Uber, they aren't setup like a regular taxi company, I very much doubt they would take it further unless it was more serious.

I think the OP was too polite in her replies, some people can't take subtle hints. Maybe use subtle at first and much firmer if it continues. Not a nice experience."

It was a taxi recommended by the club.

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By *lkDomWhtSubBiCpleCouple over a year ago

Somewhere / Everywhere /Kinksville

I think the OP was too polite in her replies, some people can't take subtle hints. Maybe use subtle at first and much firmer if it continues. Not a nice experience.

It was a taxi recommended by the club. "

Do people really put their trust and safety in the hands of others

I personally don't see the world like this... so what if a club makes a recommendation for a taxi. Do people think the club are going to vet all the drivers ?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think the OP was too polite in her replies, some people can't take subtle hints. Maybe use subtle at first and much firmer if it continues. Not a nice experience.

It was a taxi recommended by the club.

Do people really put their trust and safety in the hands of others

I personally don't see the world like this... so what if a club makes a recommendation for a taxi. Do people think the club are going to vet all the drivers ?

Yes but if both the club and the passenger complain there is less chance that the driver will harass someone else

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By *ilk_TreMan over a year ago

Wherever the party is!

I think the OP was too polite in her replies, some people can't take subtle hints. Maybe use subtle at first and much firmer if it continues. Not a nice experience.

It was a taxi recommended by the club.

Do people really put their trust and safety in the hands of others

I personally don't see the world like this... so what if a club makes a recommendation for a taxi. Do people think the club are going to vet all the drivers ?

Basic rule of business. Don't piss off your customers or you won't get any more business. How hard is it to just be professional?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think the OP was too polite in her replies, some people can't take subtle hints. Maybe use subtle at first and much firmer if it continues. Not a nice experience.

It was a taxi recommended by the club.

Do people really put their trust and safety in the hands of others

I personally don't see the world like this... so what if a club makes a recommendation for a taxi. Do people think the club are going to vet all the drivers ?

I take taxis. Either for work, personsal or if I am staying in a hotel and going to a club alone. I am more than likely to feel safer if using a taxi recommended by the club. Some people don't have the luxury of driving or may just want to have a few drinks. I'm not that naive that I think all drivers are vetted, but I'd like to think they are safer and drivers are instructed to not hassle females or ask personal questions about the club. It also removes the need to explain what the club is/where it is. That's a reasonable assumption.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think the OP was too polite in her replies, some people can't take subtle hints. Maybe use subtle at first and much firmer if it continues. Not a nice experience.

It was a taxi recommended by the club.

Do people really put their trust and safety in the hands of others

I personally don't see the world like this... so what if a club makes a recommendation for a taxi. Do people think the club are going to vet all the drivers ?

This, 100%

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By *unandbuckCouple over a year ago

Sheffield

I think the OP was too polite in her replies, some people can't take subtle hints. Maybe use subtle at first and much firmer if it continues. Not a nice experience.

It was a taxi recommended by the club. "

My bad. Yes, the post says usually takes an Uber, but this time used a taxi recommended by the club to leave.

That changes my thoughts. Clubs normally have firms they use regularly and the drivers know better how to act. I'd speak to the club and get them to give the taxi firm a reminder about driver conduct.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 22/09/17 08:55:34]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"hi babe" pause

"Ye I'm on my way back now won't be long" pause

Then chat some random talk about how lovely the decor was and so on. Doubt he'll try and talk to you whilst your on the phone.

Or you could just ask me to chaperone you

Whilst the avoidance techniques are useful it doesn't remove the problem. The club recommending this firm are actually lulling people into a false sense of security."

I totally agree with you there, the driver needs to be reported to both the taxi firm and the club, if at least just to let the driver know the intrusive questions are totally inappropriate and will not be accepted. If this is the worst case scenario and the driver does happen to be prey on the vulnerable this is a serious problem. Reporting him may stop something terribly horrible happening in the future. Please report this driver

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

" if I was ever going to go to a club on my own - I have done in the past a couple of times, there's no way I'd chance my journey back in the hands of a stranger. It's just too much of a vulnerable predicament for me, so I'd always be driving myself back. Yes that also means that i wouldn't be drinking, both make sense to me. "

I don't drive.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"T Since it was an Uber, they aren't setup like a regular taxi company, I very much doubt they would take it further unless it was more serious."

It was NOT an UBER that I had this experience with.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Do people really put their trust and safety in the hands of others

I personally don't see the world like this... so what if a club makes a recommendation for a taxi. Do people think the club are going to vet all the drivers ?

Thats why i am saying the club and the taxi firm is NOT AT FAULT.

It is the driver I have an issue with.

Sometimes we take risks in life, some big some small, i just wanted to know how to handle this better next time.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

i have read each nd everyone of these and don't want to clog up the feed anymore.

The action I will take is next time I need to use that taxi firm I will make sure to mention "Please don't send the driver you sent here on xx date at xx time as he made me fee really uncomfortable by asking inappropriate questions. I have informed the club of this also"

I believe that will be enough. And I will just take a phone call from a friend or rely on the whole "I am tired and not really looking for conversation right now thank you"

On another note when I get an uber TO the club I usually get it to the train station and walk or another local famous landmark and say I am meeting someone. I may just revert to go to the landmark or train station and getting the uber back from there.

At least I have an advantage next time this happens. Because I am sure it will.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"i have read each nd everyone of these and don't want to clog up the feed anymore.

I believe that will be enough. And I will just take a phone call from a friend or rely on the whole "I am tired and not really looking for conversation right now thank you"

At least I have an advantage next time this happens. Because I am sure it will."

You're not clogging the feed up, it was your thread after all, and you raise a really important issue. There are many of us who don't/don't want to drive who deserve to get to and from our destination safely and without this kind of unpleasant behaviour. Good luck and stay safe x

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By *otwife CoolhubCouple over a year ago

Bathgate

At that time of the morning it is important to stay safe do getting a cab from the club is the right thing rather than stand at the station.

Drivers will know what goes on at the club and any questions should be met with. "It's a private members club so if you want to know ask to join". The questions about being single or how much you earn wouldn't be asked if there was no other club context.

Good Luck

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Being honest thats bang out if order them questions asked.

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By *ankie303Woman over a year ago

Weirdsville South Coast Dorset

I work for 2 taxi firms and personally if any of my drivers behaved like that i would have them up infront of management! We know what goes on where, sounds like a total invasion of your privacy

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By *ink magnolia s yorksWoman over a year ago

south yorkshire

Coming my back to the hotel from chams and going there I've been asked loads of similar stuff including, do I like giving bjs and will I give the driver one, to which I replied no ta, the fare is twelve quid I'll just pay it, also been asked if I'll take them in I usually say no try asking your wife

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By *bsolute LibertinesCouple over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

Sounds like a bad experience. Some good advice here though.

Maybe get dropped off just round corner and not let taxi know where you live...though does mean walking last bit alone on street though.

Good luck in future and stay safe

Ray

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

That's really creepy, in particular his last question. Sounds like he's asking if you're a prostitute. Or hinting that he'd pay if you were up for it.

I'd go with the local landmark thing you mentioned OP- pick you up nearby but not have the club mentioned. BUT then that means you have to walk from the club and you shouldn't have to as that puts you in public late at night with whoever is wandering the streets at that time.

Hope you mention it to the club at the very least.

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By *ameuserCouple over a year ago

manchester

Tell him the storie about the time that you had to take a taxi driver to court for sexual harassment

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By *hubaysiWoman over a year ago

Leeds

I wouldn't walk to a landmark to meet a taxi.

The driver needs dealing with, report him to his taxi company and the Local Authority who are the controlling force for local taxi's. They will then investigate it and it will not look good for the taxi company.

As women we should not have to accept this kind of behaviour when we go out to a club of our choice.

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By *ikeC81Man over a year ago

harrow

It's just not just single women that get it - men get questioned as well

I normally say I had a good night meeting friends for a drink - if they probe then I say there is a club website with the info

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Like I said the club is amazing. Looking at the posts here it seems I had a very small experience - not sure how I would have handled the situation being asked to give a blow job!

Thanks again for the advise!

Still new to the scene

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Like I said the club is amazing. Looking at the posts here it seems I had a very small experience - not sure how I would have handled the situation being asked to give a blow job!

Thanks again for the advise!

Still new to the scene

What do you mean 'still new to the scene'? I don't understand what that has to do with anything.

The taxi driver was a disrespectful arse. Just because you go to clubs it doesn't mean you're a slut and you have to put up with shit like that from people like him. x

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By *octor DeleriumMan over a year ago

Wellingborough

There are quite a number of very intrusive and, as others have put them, 'creepy' questions.

Individuals demonstrate pattern behaviour.

I would be concerned that this driver may take advantage of someone in less of an alert state, returning from a club or anywhere else.

He needs reporting; your local Council website will have a link to report drivers in taxi or private hire vehicles.

Dr Nasty

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By *sGivesWoodWoman over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

The whole point of getting a taxi is so you don't have to walk around late at night, surely? Walking to/from landmark/station alone and late at night defeats the object somewhat!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm a taxi driver in Newcastle. Woman are ment to feel safe in a taxi thr driver can have conversations with u but ure private life is urs not his interest u can report him to council for that my passengers safety is first and anything said is private and forgotten about and never brought back up doesn't matter whr or what uve been doing its private

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