FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Playing alone.....
Playing alone.....
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hi all, I'm trying to become open at the idea of my partner playing alone,it's getting to the point in my pregnancy play meets aren't as viable as they once was.
I'm just not sure I'm ready for him to do this or if my insecurities will ever truley think it's okay?
How can I change this so he doesn't miss out?
Bella x |
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It's nice that you're trying to put your partner's fun first in this, it shows you're caring, but if you are feeling insecure there really isn't any advice you can get on here that will change that.
Either you grit your teeth and let it happen, or you don't.
Relationships are about sacrifices. Sometimes there's give and take. In this situation one of you has to step up and be the one to put the other first. Either you let him play despite your reservations, or he stops playing until you are able to play with him. One or the other.
If you feel so very very insecure that it's going to cause problems, then it's better he respect your feelings and put playing on hold. |
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By *yldstyleWoman
over a year ago
A world of my own |
I think,attempting to explore this while your pregnant is not a great idea. Believe me that now is the time where you most need to feel secure and loved.
I think your partner should be doing all he can to reassure you at the moment.
You should be the most important person just now. |
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Well it's not the end of the world to wait until after the birth and when you feel ready to meet again. Your hormones will be all over the place for a while so meeting others together or singlely wouldn't be the best idea. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you are unsure and you have not long to go I would both just wait, you're only young and still have many years of humping to go so waiting a few month wouldn't be the end of the world 
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We're able to have sex but because I'm quite far now into my pregnancy It's not as much as of an option to meet other people as a couple."
Just enjoy you two for now .. if you have insecurities then don't mix then with hormones....
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You only joined 2 weeks ago and haven't had any meets, so I'd say you should wait until you are both ready. Family comes first."
We had an account before but got locked out somehow so had to delete it unfortunately x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks for all the advice and replies.
I don't know if I will ever not be insecure due to past relationships but is it fair to pass those on and let them effect my current partner when he has done nothing wrong? |
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"Thanks for all the advice and replies.
I don't know if I will ever not be insecure due to past relationships but is it fair to pass those on and let them effect my current partner when he has done nothing wrong?"
In many, many relationships the man realises that late pregnancy and early post pregnancy limits sexual activity in various ways. Both partners usually accept this and realising its temporary just concentrate on what is possible.
As Mr N said to me the other day "we're in this together". Why will missing out on a couple of months fun harm your partner and why do you consider yourself insecure because you don't feel happy about him playing alone at one of the most vulnerable times in your life? |
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If you feel insecure, then don't do it.
It's not worth it.
Your insecurities will eat away at you, plus paranoia,
And that's besides the fact you are pregnant, so, plus baby hormones?
Hellllll no.
It'll be a recipe for self destruction.
Flames
(And don't expect to go swinging any time soon either with a new born!)
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Whether you're pregnant or not, if you're not feeling 100% happy about him playing alone, I would say you're not ready, and it might be that you never are.
We've explored all sorts of different scenarios with regards to involving other people in our sex life, and we only ever practice the ones we're both absolutely sure we're happy with. Our relationship is the most important thing to consider, and no amount of fun or excitement is worth risking that for.
I would seriously think about what you're proposing to do, and talk to each other honestly about how you feel. Pregnancy is about you both having a child, it's not just all down to you, he should be supporting you all the way.
Good luck with everything.
V x |
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"I think,attempting to explore this while your pregnant is not a great idea. Believe me that now is the time where you most need to feel secure and loved.
I think your partner should be doing all he can to reassure you at the moment.
You should be the most important person just now."
This. + the couple that plays together stays together  |
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By *ot40sCouple
over a year ago
birmingham |
"Hi all, I'm trying to become open at the idea of my partner playing alone,it's getting to the point in my pregnancy play meets aren't as viable as they once was.
I'm just not sure I'm ready for him to do this or if my insecurities will ever truley think it's okay?
How can I change this so he doesn't miss out?
Bella x"
Bella I think you have answered your own question
If you have any insecurities then I think it's a bad idea because once he plays alone there's no going back and you will feel terrible
Is it really worth sacrificing your relationship just so he can play alone
Your not going to be pregnant forever
Only you know how strong your relationship is
I hope you find the answer
Anna x |
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"I never have or never will force Bella into something she doesn't want
Thanks for all the feed back
Dan"
If that means you've scrapped the idea, and putting her and the new baby first, then thats good. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"Whether you're pregnant or not, if you're not feeling 100% happy about him playing alone, I would say you're not ready, and it might be that you never are.
We've explored all sorts of different scenarios with regards to involving other people in our sex life, and we only ever practice the ones we're both absolutely sure we're happy with. Our relationship is the most important thing to consider, and no amount of fun or excitement is worth risking that for.
I would seriously think about what you're proposing to do, and talk to each other honestly about how you feel. Pregnancy is about you both having a child, it's not just all down to you, he should be supporting you all the way.
Good luck with everything.
V x"
This says all that needs to be said - plain and simple  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I never have or never will force Bella into something she doesn't want
Thanks for all the feed back
Dan
If that means you've scrapped the idea, and putting her and the new baby first, then thats good."
Nope it doesn't
B |
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"Hi all, I'm trying to become open at the idea of my partner playing alone,it's getting to the point in my pregnancy play meets aren't as viable as they once was.
I'm just not sure I'm ready for him to do this or if my insecurities will ever truley think it's okay?
How can I change this so he doesn't miss out?
Bella x"
Miss out on what? Sex is fun but even I can put it on hold for a month or two if needed.
If you would not normally consider swinging separately, why would you consider it under these circumstances.
It's a bit like saying I'm not into watersports, but as the person I'm playing with needs the loo let's give it a whirl.
Either your into a sexual activity or you are not. Swinging separately is not just another version of swinging together. Same as bondage is not the same as S&M. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I never have or never will force Bella into something she doesn't want
Thanks for all the feed back
Dan
If that means you've scrapped the idea, and putting her and the new baby first, then thats good.
Nope it doesn't
B "
He still wants to fuck other people even though you're not happy with that??! What a guy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thanks for all the advice and replies.
I don't know if I will ever not be insecure due to past relationships but is it fair to pass those on and let them effect my current partner when he has done nothing wrong?"
It will only increase your insecurities.. it's not affecting your current partner to say no to playing seperately.... many couples aren't happy with it..and what ever your reason for not being happy.. your not
I am not happy with the idea of Mr playing alone as it makes me feel unwanted and betrayed... So although I'm sure he would love to he respects me and doesn't play without me or push the issue |
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