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Camera phones and parties.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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The question is, how do you get men to stop using their smartphones at private swingers' parties?
I was so pleased I had managed to find new circles of swinging friends who also prefer not to charge each other at private parties.
However, at the last party there happened to be a few more single guys than usual. Smartphones out, dunno what's so important to check at a swingers' party at 10pm a Saturday night?
The day after, rightly so, there were public photos of action between the only `Greedy Lady' present and a bloke. No faces and I assume all agreed to the pics being uploaded as they are still there. I just feel less likely to go in to a room for fun and frolics if I am uncertain pics get taken.
But it gets worse.
During kitchen chat on the night one bloke encourages another to show a video clip from another party. The setting gets explained first, a roommate had been told about the party and also advised not to get too d*unk. Roommate drank till he passed out in the sofa. So, the video shows him passed out and a woman sticking his hand up her pussy, his hand up another woman's pussy, sitting on his naked torso and he is all passed out.
Even though I understand people get carried away and it's all 'happy banter' I still think people become a bit blind and too carried away with videoing and taking pics constantly. It was difficult for me not to think it was sexual assault, he was not awake to give consent. I was also told the passed out bloke is not into women and also that he never got to see the video after. (Taken by his housemate).
Parties and camera phones, can they be separated? |
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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago
All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest |
State from the get go that no filming / pics allowed?
Have people turn in cell phones on arrival and kept in a box with a sticker to identify it. Only hosts could access box. Similar to a cloak room for phones  |
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Some people are crass beyond words. On what planet they think that sort of behaviour is acceptable I have no idea. That man was assaulted.
I agree with the person above, if people either don't attend or walk out as soon as a phone appears there's nothing to film and the behaviour is discouraged.
Beware also open lap tops discreetly placed and "security" cameras. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Perhaps the solution is in between. First, say I'd rather not attend because of the mobiles and that I don't feel I would engage in any activity if I have to worry about where it ends up. If there then is an opening to discuss then talk about if there could be a rule about not taking your mobile phones out.
It's comforting that some of you also see it like I do about the passed out guy in the video.
The first bloke asked the other to show it too us and was giggling. I think they saw it as some sort of prank. All I could see was non-consent sex. When I made a comment about it the first bloke just said something like that (name of woman) in the video clip was okay with it. They just didn't get it.
Thanks for your comments, they are helpful! |
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"Perhaps the solution is in between. First, say I'd rather not attend because of the mobiles and that I don't feel I would engage in any activity if I have to worry about where it ends up. If there then is an opening to discuss then talk about if there could be a rule about not taking your mobile phones out.
It's comforting that some of you also see it like I do about the passed out guy in the video.
The first bloke asked the other to show it too us and was giggling. I think they saw it as some sort of prank. All I could see was non-consent sex. When I made a comment about it the first bloke just said something like that (name of woman) in the video clip was okay with it. They just didn't get it.
Thanks for your comments, they are helpful! "
The guys who took and showed the video are immature boys mentally and the woman in it is as bad. I wouldn't want to be at any party they were at, sexually they're light years behind decent men who understand consent. |
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I reckon a phone comes out whileb peopl are playing and the owner gets shown the door.
I've let couples take pics on meets -some of their work features in my private photos - but never in a party setting. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks again for your comments, I feel they are quite supportive.
On reflection, perhaps I will actually stick to clubs in the future. I was just a bit happy that I had found some new circles where people would invite each other without charging. But it's just not worth it that you either have to limit your sexual expression because you feel you have to keep an eye out all the time or worse than that, end up on the WWW when you were just enjoying yourself.
Shame that camera phones have become close to being to surgically attached to so many peoples hands, just live life instead af always having to record everything. |
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"Thanks again for your comments, I feel they are quite supportive.
On reflection, perhaps I will actually stick to clubs in the future. I was just a bit happy that I had found some new circles where people would invite each other without charging. But it's just not worth it that you either have to limit your sexual expression because you feel you have to keep an eye out all the time or worse than that, end up on the WWW when you were just enjoying yourself.
Shame that camera phones have become close to being to surgically attached to so many peoples hands, just live life instead af always having to record everything. "
Don't rely on the safety of clubs. Despite Paul and Flirt being VERY strict about cameras in their club, he told me that he's often seen videos online taken in Xtasia. |
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By *andDeeCouple
over a year ago
Ashford |
Boys will be boys and unfortunately a few of them, especially in a group have completely the wrong attitudes. They are prone to thinking it's a free for all, a stag do with women who are 'bang up for it' and 'cheap slappers/free whores'. This is why we go to our favourite club in Kent of a Saturday night when only couples and single females are only welcome and if pictures are taken, it would be between those consenting in a private room.
Been to a club elsewhere where fortunately management noticed a man with one of those tiny 'Muvi' cameras and confiscated it. |
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There's two very different subjects in the op.
But in terms of the thread title, there should be no camera phones out in clubs or parties. Clubs seem to control them well, the party organiser should too. |
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"Boys will be boys and unfortunately a few of them, especially in a group have completely the wrong attitudes. They are prone to thinking it's a free for all, a stag do with women who are 'bang up for it' and 'cheap slappers/free whores'. This is why we go to our favourite club in Kent of a Saturday night when only couples and single females are only welcome and if pictures are taken, it would be between those consenting in a private room.
Been to a club elsewhere where fortunately management noticed a man with one of those tiny 'Muvi' cameras and confiscated it. "
Please don't excuse vile behaviour by calling it 'boys will be boys' it's time that was dropped form our vocabulary. |
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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago
Up on them there hills |
Clubs don't accept phones, was impressed with Quest, we have kids, the staff asked us to leave the phone behind the bar and if they rang, they would come a tell us we had a call.
Doff my cap to them. |
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By *andDeeCouple
over a year ago
Ashford |
"Boys will be boys and unfortunately a few of them, especially in a group have completely the wrong attitudes. They are prone to thinking it's a free for all, a stag do with women who are 'bang up for it' and 'cheap slappers/free whores'. This is why we go to our favourite club in Kent of a Saturday night when only couples and single females are only welcome and if pictures are taken, it would be between those consenting in a private room.
Been to a club elsewhere where fortunately management noticed a man with one of those tiny 'Muvi' cameras and confiscated it.
Please don't excuse vile behaviour by calling it 'boys will be boys' it's time that was dropped form our vocabulary. "
Definitely not excusable in our book, but to the immature minds of some who lack respect and understanding, it sadly is. As said, going to a club that is only open to couples on the night is so much more relaxed, respectful of etiquette and sociable we found, and definitely no unwanted attention from people with cameras. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wouldn't attend any party or club that allowed any recording equipment at all. I would ask before attending to be sure and walk out, after complaining very loudly to the management/organisers. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wouldn't attend any party or club that allowed any recording equipment at all. I would ask before attending to be sure and walk out, after complaining very loudly to the management/organisers. "
No respectable club will allow them. |
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I would expect all phones to be banned at a party or users banned. If someone has a genuine potential emergency then it should be feasible for a voice call only, which the hosts could supervise.
Unwarranted photos and videos should be prevented, unless the event is held for video etc purposes.
Express opinions before looking to attend and help to stop this behavior |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wouldn't attend any party or club that allowed any recording equipment at all. I would ask before attending to be sure and walk out, after complaining very loudly to the management/organisers.
No respectable club will allow them."
Even if they were only allowing them in private rooms. What's to stop someone taking them out of the room. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So much good advice in this thread now, thanks guys!
The next party I'm invited to is actually where said video was filmed and the photo taken. By one of the house-sharer of the other house-sharer. So, I will both have to say that the party is not for me as well as address the video and photos I saw on the mobile phone.
I will let you know, thanks for the support! |
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"State from the get go that no filming / pics allowed?
Have people turn in cell phones on arrival and kept in a box with a sticker to identify it. Only hosts could access box. Similar to a cloak room for phones "
Simple  |
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"The question is, how do you get men to stop using their smartphones at private swingers' parties?
I was so pleased I had managed to find new circles of swinging friends who also prefer not to charge each other at private parties.
However, at the last party there happened to be a few more single guys than usual. Smartphones out, dunno what's so important to check at a swingers' party at 10pm a Saturday night?
The day after, rightly so, there were public photos of action between the only `Greedy Lady' present and a bloke. No faces and I assume all agreed to the pics being uploaded as they are still there. I just feel less likely to go in to a room for fun and frolics if I am uncertain pics get taken.
But it gets worse.
During kitchen chat on the night one bloke encourages another to show a video clip from another party. The setting gets explained first, a roommate had been told about the party and also advised not to get too d*unk. Roommate drank till he passed out in the sofa. So, the video shows him passed out and a woman sticking his hand up her pussy, his hand up another woman's pussy, sitting on his naked torso and he is all passed out.
Even though I understand people get carried away and it's all 'happy banter' I still think people become a bit blind and too carried away with videoing and taking pics constantly. It was difficult for me not to think it was sexual assault, he was not awake to give consent. I was also told the passed out bloke is not into women and also that he never got to see the video after. (Taken by his housemate).
Parties and camera phones, can they be separated?"
If it was his mate then they probably laughed about the following day. Me personally would not see it as sexual assault if all she did was sit on my torso. Not cock!. And put my hand up herself. If my mates did it to me knowing i wasn't into women is maybe the main reason why he did it. As a haha. Told you,you'd do something with a woman. Not saying it's right but it's his mate at the end of the day and not a stranger. That's what makes it different for me. IMO |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As much as I agree with OP that the single men were a problem in her situation, to redress the balance. I have found that husbands in a hot wife situation believe it is their prerogative to take pictures without asking. You then have the situation of potentially killing scene if he does not like your response. Personally if a person asks first and the picture is taken from an agreed angle without showing my face I have no problem with it. But then I have no tattoos or birthmarks by which I can be identified.
Additionally as a side note have clubs caught up with smart watches that video? |
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"
If it was his mate then they probably laughed about the following day. Me personally would not see it as sexual assault if all she did was sit on my torso. Not cock!. And put my hand up herself. If my mates did it to me knowing i wasn't into women is maybe the main reason why he did it. As a haha. Told you,you'd do something with a woman. Not saying it's right but it's his mate at the end of the day and not a stranger. That's what makes it different for me. IMO "
The guy isn't into women, so it is guaranteed non-consensual. Wrong and illegal.
So, presumably, if you were unconscious through drink and your mates got your hands round some gay guys cocks or fingering their arses while another had his balls on your chest, you'd be ok with that? |
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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago
harrow |
"As much as I agree with OP that the single men were a problem in her situation, to redress the balance. I have found that husbands in a hot wife situation believe it is their prerogative to take pictures without asking. You then have the situation of potentially killing scene if he does not like your response. Personally if a person asks first and the picture is taken from an agreed angle without showing my face I have no problem with it. But then I have no tattoos or birthmarks by which I can be identified.
Additionally as a side note have clubs caught up with smart watches that video?"
I have a smart watch that doesn't video but I do try to keep it either covered up with my blindfold or switch it to power saving mode so the time I see on but nothing else |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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These parties must be pretty boring! All the parties I have attended I've been too busy having a good time. I wouldn't think of wasting my time taking pictures or videos of other people having all the fun. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Unfortunately this is a big concern of ours too, not just house parties but clubs as well. We've been to a couple of clubs that allow people to be on their phones in the lounge type areas (as long as they aren't taking photos). How can they tell they aren't taking any photos though? It's so easily to sneakily take one while pretending to be checking emails etc. |
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"
During kitchen chat on the night one bloke encourages another to show a video clip from another party. The setting gets explained first, a roommate had been told about the party and also advised not to get too d*unk. Roommate drank till he passed out in the sofa. So, the video shows him passed out and a woman sticking his hand up her pussy, his hand up another woman's pussy, sitting on his naked torso and he is all passed out.
Even though I understand people get carried away and it's all 'happy banter' I still think people become a bit blind and too
If it was his mate then they probably laughed about the following day. Me personally would not see it as sexual assault if all she did was sit on my torso. Not cock!. And put my hand up herself. If my mates did it to me knowing i wasn't into women is maybe the main reason why he did it. As a haha. Told you,you'd do something with a woman. Not saying it's right but it's his mate at the end of the day and not a stranger. That's what makes it different for me. IMO "
The majority of sexual assaults are carried out by someone known to the victim. Does that make it different in that situation too? |
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"The question is, how do you get men to stop using their smartphones at private swingers' parties?
I was so pleased I had managed to find new circles of swinging friends who also prefer not to charge each other at private parties.
However, at the last party there happened to be a few more single guys than usual. Smartphones out, dunno what's so important to check at a swingers' party at 10pm a Saturday night?
The day after, rightly so, there were public photos of action between the only `Greedy Lady' present and a bloke. No faces and I assume all agreed to the pics being uploaded as they are still there. I just feel less likely to go in to a room for fun and frolics if I am uncertain pics get taken.
But it gets worse.
During kitchen chat on the night one bloke encourages another to show a video clip from another party. The setting gets explained first, a roommate had been told about the party and also advised not to get too d*unk. Roommate drank till he passed out in the sofa. So, the video shows him passed out and a woman sticking his hand up her pussy, his hand up another woman's pussy, sitting on his naked torso and he is all passed out.
Even though I understand people get carried away and it's all 'happy banter' I still think people become a bit blind and too carried away with videoing and taking pics constantly. It was difficult for me not to think it was sexual assault, he was not awake to give consent. I was also told the passed out bloke is not into women and also that he never got to see the video after. (Taken by his housemate).
Parties and camera phones, can they be separated?
If it was his mate then they probably laughed about the following day. Me personally would not see it as sexual assault if all she did was sit on my torso. Not cock!. And put my hand up herself. If my mates did it to me knowing i wasn't into women is maybe the main reason why he did it. As a haha. Told you,you'd do something with a woman. Not saying it's right but it's his mate at the end of the day and not a stranger. That's what makes it different for me. IMO "
I could not agree less with this. It was at the very least a common assault. The guy was not a willing participant and was incapable of exercising his right to refuse.
The fact that that it was perpetrated by his "friend" does not make it anywhere near OK. It was an assault and due to the sexual nature of the act, a sexual assault.
No smiley face. |
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"Perhaps the solution is in between. First, say I'd rather not attend because of the mobiles and that I don't feel I would engage in any activity if I have to worry about where it ends up. If there then is an opening to discuss then talk about if there could be a rule about not taking your mobile phones out.
It's comforting that some of you also see it like I do about the passed out guy in the video.
The first bloke asked the other to show it too us and was giggling. I think they saw it as some sort of prank. All I could see was non-consent sex. When I made a comment about it the first bloke just said something like that (name of woman) in the video clip was okay with it. They just didn't get it.
Thanks for your comments, they are helpful! "
A slight twist even though I agree with all you have said.
Society has ALWAYS viewed sexual assault as man doing it to a woman thing. This is partly and sadly due to the anatomy of the male body. Apart from sodomy ( loosely) not a lot can be seen as evidence of sexual assault on a male. Over the years, this has led to a lot of assaults being unrecognised, unreported and unacknowledged.
But we've come a long way. We still have a long way to go.
Grab and squeeze for instance, is met with a slap if it's from a certain direction but swap roles and at best a wrist is grabbed ( not slapped) and then a giggle follows.
But hey, we will get there some day. |
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We'd be very, very angry if someone took photos/videos without our consent. If Gavin saw someone doing that the temptation to insert the persons phone into them would be overwhelming.
It's difficult to police, but as others have said, perhaps have a dedicated area for people to leave their phones, as clubs do. The hosts of the party have to be shit-hot at policing it. Anyway caught near their phone should be removed and never invited back.
From a quick google, people who have taken photos/videos without the other persons consent have been jailed for voyeurism offences. Personally, if I was the non-consenting person, I'd report this incident.
S x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would expect all phones to be banned at a party or users banned. If someone has a genuine potential emergency then it should be feasible for a voice call only, which the hosts could supervise.
Unwarranted photos and videos should be prevented, unless the event is held for video etc purposes.
Express opinions before looking to attend and help to stop this behavior "
id not hand my phone over at a club or party as I need to check it every so often for my kids . So at a private party it stays on me at a club its in my locker.
However I dont have it out taking photos. However at a club or anywhere photos could be taken as micro cameras are no longer expensive |
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