FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Should I finish my wife
Should I finish my wife
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hey guys so me and my wife have been on the rocks for a while few years same sex same position she loves me dearly and told me to go and get my satisfaction else we're but she didn't want to know about it I wanted to try to introduce her to the world off swinging and was about to until news broke her friends were doing it and g had left her husband to be with p her mates husband she was absolutely disgusted by the thought so Do I tell her I'm into the idea or just leave the happy memories and finish it ??, |
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You're asking on an Internet forum for advice on whether to leave your wife.
If g n p an respective partners are on here as they could very well be , she maybe speaking to you before you get your answers 
I'd get g n p's hubbys round for a bit of rp n dp while you flat hunt  |
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By *imonP23Man
over a year ago
Shepton Mallet |
I hope you're asking whether you should finish WITH your wife, or finish your relationship? I did have a WTF moment there...
I haven't had sex with my wife for 5 years now, and we were only averaging twice per year before that. But we have kids, and we both get on fine in every other respect, neither of us wants to end it. I am getting it elsewhere with her permission, but she doesn't want to know the sordid details, that's the deal we have made.
I can't say whether that would work for you. I don't know enough about your circumstances. If she's generally not interested in sex, you aren't going to turn her into a swinger, and it would be unwise to try. If your sex life is fizzling out due to her lack of interest, and talking it over hasn't helped, then perhaps you should just carry on doing what you've been doing. A lot of women in this situation are actually quite relieved when their husbands stop pestering them for sex, and sense that asking too many questions might be unwise.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For what it's worth, I would advise that you have an open and honest conversation - wherever that leads. I speak as a woman who didn't and stopped having sex with my now ex husband because I was bored and tired of a warm, bam , fall asleep sex life. We stopped having sex pretty much after we got married for that reason.
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I would say if you're at the stage of asking a bunch of strangers whether or not to leave a wife who in your own words loves you dearly it might be time to have a bit of a think about what direction you want to take this.
Nobody here knows you or your wife so we can't give you any useful advice on your marital situation. What I will say though is that you're unlikely to get more sex as a single man on fab without putting in a lot of effort. Might it be worth considering investing that effort in yoru marriage?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Do you seriously think thst the grass is greener? Honestly you are asking people who know nothing about your situation. Have a good long hard think and come up with the answer yourself. |
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"Hey guys so me and my wife have been on the rocks for a while few years same sex same position she loves me dearly and told me to go and get my satisfaction else we're but she didn't want to know about it I wanted to try to introduce her to the world off swinging and was about to until news broke her friends were doing it and g had left her husband to be with p her mates husband she was absolutely disgusted by the thought so Do I tell her I'm into the idea or just leave the happy memories and finish it ??,"
Finish what?
Your marriage or swinging?
The wording needs some clarification.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hey guys so me and my wife have been on the rocks for a while few years same sex same position she loves me dearly and told me to go and get my satisfaction else we're but she didn't want to know about it I wanted to try to introduce her to the world off swinging and was about to until news broke her friends were doing it and g had left her husband to be with p her mates husband she was absolutely disgusted by the thought so Do I tell her I'm into the idea or just leave the happy memories and finish it ??,"
You are asking for what you should do from complete strangers on the internet?!!!
Ok, here goes; dump her
-Mrs. J - |
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"Hey guys so me and my wife have been on the rocks for a while few years same sex same position she loves me dearly and told me to go and get my satisfaction else we're but she didn't want to know about it I wanted to try to introduce her to the world off swinging and was about to until news broke her friends were doing it and g had left her husband to be with p her mates husband she was absolutely disgusted by the thought so Do I tell her I'm into the idea or just leave the happy memories and finish it ??,
You are asking for what you should do from complete strangers on the internet?!!!
Ok, here goes; dump her
-Mrs. J -"
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A swinging site is possibly not the best place for marriage advice.
As as single parent I can say that if there is anything left in your relationship, try fixing it, if an open relationship works, without harming the marriage, then fine, Fab can be a release, but it's not for everyone. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I feel sorry for your wife to be married to you. Sorry if that sounds harsh but I do.
I hope she finds out and takes you for everything.
If you are in a loveless/sexless marriage then do the decent thing and leave. |
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"I feel sorry for your wife to be married to you. Sorry if that sounds harsh but I do.
I hope she finds out and takes you for everything.
If you are in a loveless/sexless marriage then do the decent thing and leave. "
I read it as he gets sex at home it's just mundane as It lacks variety and therefore excitement |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Relationships are hard work, if you are not willing to put in the effort don't expect the rewards.
Many singles are happy, but I suspect many are not. Which sort are you? |
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"Relationships are hard work, if you are not willing to put in the effort don't expect the rewards.
Many singles are happy, but I suspect many are not. Which sort are you?"
Single (reluctantly)...me |
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By *DontExistWoman
over a year ago
•+• Silicon valley. •+• |
my opinion, be honest with her.
completely, tell her you're interested in swinging with her and tell her why, hopefully it's coz you want to share her with others and will get off on that and love her so want to get back a fulfilling sex life too.
even if it's for selfish reasons tell her anyway then she knows exactly who you are and what she's staying with.
if more people were honest i also think more people would be living happier and more fulfilling lives with the people they want to. |
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By *adame BWoman
over a year ago
C'est moi Boudoir |
Op I sympathise with your situation for all involved. Break ups are never easy, change is difficult but so is living a lie. This is not the place for this discussion or you as you need to figure things out for yourself not on other people. Relationship and sex Therapy would be a good make or break place to start perhaps. Hope you both find clarity
Madame Boo |
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"my opinion, be honest with her.
completely, tell her you're interested in swinging with her and tell her why, hopefully it's coz you want to share her with others and will get off on that and love her so want to get back a fulfilling sex life too.
even if it's for selfish reasons tell her anyway then she knows exactly who you are and what she's staying with.
if more people were honest i also think more people would be living happier and more fulfilling lives with the people they want to."
I couldn't agree more. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hey guys so me and my wife have been on the rocks for a while few years same sex same position she loves me dearly and told me to go and get my satisfaction else we're but she didn't want to know about it I wanted to try to introduce her to the world off swinging and was about to until news broke her friends were doing it and g had left her husband to be with p her mates husband she was absolutely disgusted by the thought so Do I tell her I'm into the idea or just leave the happy memories and finish it ??,
Finish what?
Your marriage or swinging?
The wording needs some clarification.
"
And full stops |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I feel sorry for your wife to be married to you. Sorry if that sounds harsh but I do.
I hope she finds out and takes you for everything.
If you are in a loveless/sexless marriage then do the decent thing and leave. "
My kind of girl! High 5* |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"OP quite clearly doesn't care else he wouldn't of been back to his thread. 
Another waste of people's time  "
Maybe he doesn't care, maybe he has got a life away from fab, maybe he's making an effort with his marriage...all mere speculation. |
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Agree with some of the comments about asking for help on here. However, my views are...
if you love your wife and or value your marriage forget swinging for the moment and have a truly honest conversation about what's going on. Honesty (generally) brings people closer and (for me) makes for a better sex life. If the honest conversation results in a split then at least you understand what's going on and you can split in an amicable way. Any kind of sex drive is not as important as resolving things. Folk that have low libidos usually have stuff on their mind or are getting it elsewhere. Think about what first attracted you to her, why you got married and take it from there. Life gets in the way of stuff and it's also easy for others to judge. Talking about the swinging thing when your marriage is not in a good place is a recipe for disaster. |
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"Hey guys so me and my wife have been on the rocks for a while few years same sex same position she loves me dearly and told me to go and get my satisfaction else we're but she didn't want to know about it I wanted to try to introduce her to the world off swinging and was about to until news broke her friends were doing it and g had left her husband to be with p her mates husband she was absolutely disgusted by the thought so Do I tell her I'm into the idea or just leave the happy memories and finish it ??,"
If you want a serious non biased answer.
First it's difficult to understand the situation as jools and myself have what I can only describe as an amazing relationship.
But we have always been open and honest,talked about everything and hidden nothing from each other.
You must have loved her and possibly still do?
But if truth be told is sex with random strangers really more important than love and a relationship that you have invested emotionally in for a long time?
I would stop swinging in a heartbeat if it was me, spend time and effort getting to know the woman who you fell in love with.
Talk to her,spoil her, lavish her with love and affection but don't expect sex just tenderness.
She may feel that the problem is you?
If all this fails then perhaps it's time to seek professional help?
Then once all avenues have been tried then it's perhaps time to call it a day.
But sacking her off just because she won't swing with you is pretty selfish.
She is possibly feeling unloved.
But like I said it's difficult as I don't understand the situation, just saying what I would do. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Your asking for marriage advice on an internet forum
Just show her your single male profile im sure she'll make the choice for you
Oh yeah mind the door dont slam on your sorry ass when she is on her way to the divorce lawyer |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I feel sorry for your wife to be married to you. Sorry if that sounds harsh but I do.
I hope she finds out and takes you for everything.
If you are in a loveless/sexless marriage then do the decent thing and leave. "
I would say the opposite, maybe she should do the decent thing and leave? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Gosh there's some really harsh people on here. Everything is so black and white for some. Give the bloke a break, he's just asking for a bit of advice. Never any harm to ask other peoples opinions.
I think like most people that as we don't have all the facts it would be very hard to pass judgment. However for what it's worth if either of you has done something to destroy trust then the wall begins to be built and it becomes very high and insurmountable. |
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"Gosh there's some really harsh people on here. Everything is so black and white for some. Give the bloke a break, he's just asking for a bit of advice. Never any harm to ask other peoples opinions.
I think like most people that as we don't have all the facts it would be very hard to pass judgment. However for what it's worth if either of you has done something to destroy trust then the wall begins to be built and it becomes very high and insurmountable."
He asked he got. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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On a side note as a single happily dating and enjoying my self guy i know very little about long term marriges how do people end up in a loveless, sex less marriage is it that they can't be bothered to make the effort anymore. because I really enjoy going on dates different places doing and seeing different things and meeting lots of people along the way. But if you have found some one you like enough to marry surly you would want to do so much stuff and experience so much life with that person that you couldn't get bored and there fore wouldnt end up in a loveless sex less marriage and if thats the case it's a bad match and should move on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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She loves you dearly, stop being a prick and make it work if you care about here stop being a self centred prick and give her a good time perhaps things will start looking up if you put some effort in |
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"I would say if you're at the stage of asking a bunch of strangers whether or not to leave a wife who in your own words loves you dearly it might be time to have a bit of a think about what direction you want to take this.
Nobody here knows you or your wife so we can't give you any useful advice on your marital situation. What I will say though is that you're unlikely to get more sex as a single man on fab without putting in a lot of effort. Might it be worth considering investing that effort in yoru marriage?
"
That's balls lol. I never put in any effort  . But all seriousness. If she doesn't want sex and you've discussed why in length then trying to get her into this is pointless.Is that just with you or in general?. If it's general but you don't want to end it bcz of feelings,situation etc. Then as someone said continue to do whatever it is that's been satisfying you up until now. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hey guys so me and my wife have been on the rocks for a while few years same sex same position she loves me dearly and told me to go and get my satisfaction else we're but she didn't want to know about it I wanted to try to introduce her to the world off swinging and was about to until news broke her friends were doing it and g had left her husband to be with p her mates husband she was absolutely disgusted by the thought so Do I tell her I'm into the idea or just leave the happy memories and finish it ??,
Finish what?
Your marriage or swinging?
The wording needs some clarification.
"
And punctuation! I had to take a really deep breath before I read it... |
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"Hey guys so me and my wife have been on the rocks for a while few years same sex same position she loves me dearly and told me to go and get my satisfaction else we're but she didn't want to know about it I wanted to try to introduce her to the world off swinging and was about to until news broke her friends were doing it and g had left her husband to be with p her mates husband she was absolutely disgusted by the thought so Do I tell her I'm into the idea or just leave the happy memories and finish it ??,
Finish what?
Your marriage or swinging?
The wording needs some clarification.
And punctuation! I had to take a really deep breath before I read it..."
Seriously. The man's asking for advice as the poor man seems to be in a pickle and you've commented about his English and grammar. Why even comment?  . I'm sure if he goes for a test he'll be much appriciative for the feedback. Some people lol. This place makes me lol sometimes |
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"A swinging site is possibly not the best place for marriage advice.
As as single parent I can say that if there is anything left in your relationship, try fixing it, if an open relationship works, without harming the marriage, then fine, Fab can be a release, but it's not for everyone."
 |
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"Hey guys so me and my wife have been on the rocks for a while few years same sex same position she loves me dearly and told me to go and get my satisfaction else we're but she didn't want to know about it I wanted to try to introduce her to the world off swinging and was about to until news broke her friends were doing it and g had left her husband to be with p her mates husband she was absolutely disgusted by the thought so Do I tell her I'm into the idea or just leave the happy memories and finish it ??,"
How do you want to finish her?
Do you mean kill her? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just tell her. What's the worst that will happen? She leaves you anyway? Which your already, ready to do.
Talk to her.
Life is too short to hide your desires and to be full of missed opportunity. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think asking a load of strangers who know nothing of your situation is pointless, but the one advice I would give you is, the truth only hurts the once, lies however hurt every time we remember them. Use that to guide you in your decision making. There's two of you in the relationship, not just you on your own, so bear that in mind. Good luck to you both....... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Gosh there's some really harsh people on here. Everything is so black and white for some. Give the bloke a break, he's just asking for a bit of advice. Never any harm to ask other peoples opinions.
I think like most people that as we don't have all the facts it would be very hard to pass judgment. However for what it's worth if either of you has done something to destroy trust then the wall begins to be built and it becomes very high and insurmountable."
Totally agree with that....even about ppl being harsh and judgemental
Ask yourself a few questions..
Do you love her?
Do you feel she loves You?
Putting the sex aside ...are you able to communicate well on other aspects?
If you have kids ....do you feel your setting an example of a good relationship?
Is it just the sex your not happy with and do you laugh and enjoy each other's company?
If the answers to all the above are yes...then stop swinging for now...work on your marriage
If it's no ...then think about whether you should just go your separate ways
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hey guys so me and my wife have been on the rocks for a while few years same sex same position she loves me dearly and told me to go and get my satisfaction else we're but she didn't want to know about it I wanted to try to introduce her to the world off swinging and was about to until news broke her friends were doing it and g had left her husband to be with p her mates husband she was absolutely disgusted by the thought so Do I tell her I'm into the idea or just leave the happy memories and finish it ??,"
Based on the fact that you are on here and she is not it says a lot about your marriage |
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By *lan157Man
over a year ago
a village near Haywards Heath in East Sussex |
In my experience swinging is led by ladies. Ladies have all the power. If a lady wants to be a swinger than she can be and her male partner can embrace it. If it's of no interest to her then its just not going to happen and the OP just has to end his relationship and find someone compatible or live a partnered life lying about his activities or give up conpletely. I am not making a moral judgement. What I would say is don't underestimate how hard it is to find a future female life partner who would enjoy the lifestyle and has all the attractions available in a non swinging lifesyle. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In my experience swinging is led by ladies. Ladies have all the power. If a lady wants to be a swinger than she can be and her male partner can embrace it. If it's of no interest to her then its just not going to happen and the OP just has to end his relationship and find someone compatible or live a partnered life lying about his activities or give up conpletely. I am not making a moral judgement. What I would say is don't underestimate how hard it is to find a future female life partner who would enjoy the lifestyle and has all the attractions available in a non swinging lifesyle."
Couldn't agree more. It's all about honesty. You can't expect your wife to accept what you want, when you're not honest with her. What you want might not be what she wants and vice versa, but talking about it on the forum rather than her, isn't the way forward. If she loves you, she will accept you for who you are, but once you break trust, she will not trust you again, once there's no trust, you lose her respect and once that's gone, your relationship has run its course. Not on my moral high horse, just talking out of experience. Good luck whatever you decide to do and fingers crossed, it's not too traumatic for either of you!!! |
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guess u just need to be honest about it and take it from there if shes not into it then u cant really make her..i think a lot of guys get their wives into swinging then get jealous when they get really into it and start getting fucked buy lots of men..ive know it happen a few times |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In my experience swinging is led by ladies. Ladies have all the power. If a lady wants to be a swinger than she can be and her male partner can embrace it. If it's of no interest to her then its just not going to happen and the OP just has to end his relationship and find someone compatible or live a partnered life lying about his activities or give up conpletely. I am not making a moral judgement. What I would say is don't underestimate how hard it is to find a future female life partner who would enjoy the lifestyle and has all the attractions available in a non swinging lifesyle."
Sorry but thats just c**p! Swinging is a 50/50 thing, if either of us didnt want to do it then we wouldn’t.
We always said from the beginning that the day one of us has had enough then its over.
The same applies to meets, no matter how much one of us wants to meet a couple if the other says no its a no! Neither of us leads the other.
Before fab we had sex most nights with each other and still do after 10 years together
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