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Why MF Couples Are Happy With Their Partner Being Touched By Another M or F???
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Ok so if I were gonna chance it I'd be going it as a single male, but I'm trying to understand what's going on in the boyfriends/hubbys head when a stranger they've approved is now fucking his wife/gf.
Also what is the woman typically thinking too, she's sucking another guy off perhaps and kissing him and getting very intimate, so what is she thinking in regards to keeping that boundary (staying loyal to her partner) and yet enjoying it?
I'm by no means knocking this, but for me to ever consider getting involved in this and to avoid me worrying I'll say or do something wrong, I need to understand the thought process behind this so I can better appreciate it. |
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Love and sex aren't the same thing. Loyalty and sex aren't the same thing.
Couples who genuinely like to see their partner with other people understand that.
People can still understand that and not want to swing too though. |
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Also you imply that it's a male thing from your post. Mr N doesn't approve a guy and I don't wonder what he's thinking. We do this together and if either one of us isn't happy it doesn't go ahead.
I think you might misunderstand the dynamic in some relationships. |
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"Ok so if I were gonna chance it I'd be going it as a single male, but I'm trying to understand what's going on in the boyfriends/hubbys head when a stranger they've approved is now fucking his wife/gf.
Also what is the woman typically thinking too, she's sucking another guy off perhaps and kissing him and getting very intimate, so what is she thinking in regards to keeping that boundary (staying loyal to her partner) and yet enjoying it?
I'm by no means knocking this, but for me to ever consider getting involved in this and to avoid me worrying I'll say or do something wrong, I need to understand the thought process behind this so I can better appreciate it."
You're overthinking things waaaaaay to much |
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"I'm not a big football fan, but I love Rugby union. If I happen to kick a football about with my mates for half-an-hour, it doesn't change my love of rugby... it just makes me hot and sweaty.
Cal"
Excellent analogy.
Sally |
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"Ok so if I were gonna chance it I'd be going it as a single male, but I'm trying to understand what's going on in the boyfriends/hubbys head when a stranger they've approved is now fucking his wife/gf.
Also what is the woman typically thinking too, she's sucking another guy off perhaps and kissing him and getting very intimate, so what is she thinking in regards to keeping that boundary (staying loyal to her partner) and yet enjoying it?
I'm by no means knocking this, but for me to ever consider getting involved in this and to avoid me worrying I'll say or do something wrong, I need to understand the thought process behind this so I can better appreciate it."
Shock horror, maybe they are swingers? How awful  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ok so if I were gonna chance it I'd be going it as a single male, but I'm trying to understand what's going on in the boyfriends/hubbys head when a stranger they've approved is now fucking his wife/gf.
Also what is the woman typically thinking too, she's sucking another guy off perhaps and kissing him and getting very intimate, so what is she thinking in regards to keeping that boundary (staying loyal to her partner) and yet enjoying it?
I'm by no means knocking this, but for me to ever consider getting involved in this and to avoid me worrying I'll say or do something wrong, I need to understand the thought process behind this so I can better appreciate it."
Probably best ask the couple you are interested in meeting,as there will be no one answer that applies to everyone |
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"I'm not a big football fan, but I love Rugby union. If I happen to kick a football about with my mates for half-an-hour, it doesn't change my love of rugby... it just makes me hot and sweaty.
Cal
Excellent analogy.
Sally"
We laughed at this also, spot on  |
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"I'm not a big football fan, but I love Rugby union. If I happen to kick a football about with my mates for half-an-hour, it doesn't change my love of rugby... it just makes me hot and sweaty.
Cal
Excellent analogy.
Sally"
I've always been a good analgesic |
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"Ok so if I were gonna chance it I'd be going it as a single male, but I'm trying to understand what's going on in the boyfriends/hubbys head when a stranger they've approved is now fucking his wife/gf.
Also what is the woman typically thinking too, she's sucking another guy off perhaps and kissing him and getting very intimate, so what is she thinking in regards to keeping that boundary (staying loyal to her partner) and yet enjoying it?
I'm by no means knocking this, but for me to ever consider getting involved in this and to avoid me worrying I'll say or do something wrong, I need to understand the thought process behind this so I can better appreciate it."
Ok here is our take on it .
Some people are truly able to differentiate between sex and emotion . Sex , with a completely open disposition to it , will involve kissing , stroking and everything that may happen between lovers . The only thing that doesn't occur is the love which 2 people may share .
So , for us , we don't have any limits on what we may do with someone else on a meet . Nothing is off limit , kissing , caressing , cuddling , and all aspects of the actual act . In fact we both absolutely adore watching each other get totally immersed in a passionate encounter with someone else . And that's the one thing we do insist on , that we are always in the same room / space when we have meets .
Why don't we get jealous ? Because we love the pants of each other , and with all the fun we have with each other and others , we know that neither of us would ever even think of playing away . We have absolutely no desire to , and to be honest , we wouldn't have time to !
After literally hundreds of meets over the six years of swinging , we are 100% confident in our own marriage and commitment to it .
On the other hand there are those who can't imagine their loved one fucking someone else , never mind the passion and eroticism of an intense meet . For them , this could destroy everything , so one has to be sure it's not going to hurt each other . The damage could be catastrophic . You either get it or you don't I guess . |
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By *ieman300Man
over a year ago
Best Greggs in Cheshire East |
Bloody hell. The guy comes out and shares that he wants to understand the dynamics and thoughts of a couple bringing someone else into their private time and people knock him for it!
How many times do we see people complaining that guys dont get it on these very forums?
Heres one that wants to undertand properly how it works so he can give his best.
The ones questioning why hes on here need to question themselves. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ok so if I were gonna chance it I'd be going it as a single male, but I'm trying to understand what's going on in the boyfriends/hubbys head when a stranger they've approved is now fucking his wife/gf.
Also what is the woman typically thinking too, she's sucking another guy off perhaps and kissing him and getting very intimate, so what is she thinking in regards to keeping that boundary (staying loyal to her partner) and yet enjoying it?
I'm by no means knocking this, but for me to ever consider getting involved in this and to avoid me worrying I'll say or do something wrong, I need to understand the thought process behind this so I can better appreciate it."
Your a toy they're using. Nothing more.  |
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"Ok so if I were gonna chance it I'd be going it as a single male, but I'm trying to understand what's going on in the boyfriends/hubbys head when a stranger they've approved is now fucking his wife/gf.
Also what is the woman typically thinking too, she's sucking another guy off perhaps and kissing him and getting very intimate, so what is she thinking in regards to keeping that boundary (staying loyal to her partner) and yet enjoying it?
I'm by no means knocking this, but for me to ever consider getting involved in this and to avoid me worrying I'll say or do something wrong, I need to understand the thought process behind this so I can better appreciate it.
Ok here is our take on it .
Some people are truly able to differentiate between sex and emotion . Sex , with a completely open disposition to it , will involve kissing , stroking and everything that may happen between lovers . The only thing that doesn't occur is the love which 2 people may share .
So , for us , we don't have any limits on what we may do with someone else on a meet . Nothing is off limit , kissing , caressing , cuddling , and all aspects of the actual act . In fact we both absolutely adore watching each other get totally immersed in a passionate encounter with someone else . And that's the one thing we do insist on , that we are always in the same room / space when we have meets .
Why don't we get jealous ? Because we love the pants of each other , and with all the fun we have with each other and others , we know that neither of us would ever even think of playing away . We have absolutely no desire to , and to be honest , we wouldn't have time to !
After literally hundreds of meets over the six years of swinging , we are 100% confident in our own marriage and commitment to it .
On the other hand there are those who can't imagine their loved one fucking someone else , never mind the passion and eroticism of an intense meet . For them , this could destroy everything , so one has to be sure it's not going to hurt each other . The damage could be catastrophic . You either get it or you don't I guess ."
Exactly.... Nothing to add as this says it all  |
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"Bloody hell. The guy comes out and shares that he wants to understand the dynamics and thoughts of a couple bringing someone else into their private time and people knock him for it!
How many times do we see people complaining that guys dont get it on these very forums?
Heres one that wants to undertand properly how it works so he can give his best.
The ones questioning why hes on here need to question themselves."
I think he needs to discuss it with the couples he is having fun with. I certainly can't answer his question as couples are all different. |
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It is very difficult to educate people of the idea/mentality of swinging as a couple.
Takes a long time because others have different viewpoints and also some ruin the true nature of being a swinger (ie hubby & I are good and do this for fun and additional sexual excitement) too silly beliefs that their own personal sex life has some kind of flaw.
In our own opinion.. true swingers are probably the strongest of relationships people would find.
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By *ieman300Man
over a year ago
Best Greggs in Cheshire East |
"Bloody hell. The guy comes out and shares that he wants to understand the dynamics and thoughts of a couple bringing someone else into their private time and people knock him for it!
How many times do we see people complaining that guys dont get it on these very forums?
Heres one that wants to undertand properly how it works so he can give his best.
The ones questioning why hes on here need to question themselves.
I think he needs to discuss it with the couples he is having fun with. I certainly can't answer his question as couples are all different."
Of course yes. But no harm getting a general idea from the forumites willing to give input. I cant help out either lol |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"OP How can we in the forum answer for other couples. You need to speak to them if you have fun arranged and no doubt they will tell you exactly what they are thinking. "
Actually I've found the answers to be both diverse, informative and thus quite satisfactory  |
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My girlfriend and I have talked about this we both want to attend s swingers club, we've never been, I do like the idea of her fantasy of being her able to suck civk as I fuck her and she want to have safe sex with multiple men or have multiple men finger and play with her, the thought greatly excites me but until it happens I'm not sure how I will
Actually feel about seeing this. Any advice? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Bloody hell. The guy comes out and shares that he wants to understand the dynamics and thoughts of a couple bringing someone else into their private time and people knock him for it!
How many times do we see people complaining that guys dont get it on these very forums?
Heres one that wants to undertand properly how it works so he can give his best.
The ones questioning why hes on here need to question themselves."
|
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"My girlfriend and I have talked about this we both want to attend s swingers club, we've never been, I do like the idea of her fantasy of being her able to suck civk as I fuck her and she want to have safe sex with multiple men or have multiple men finger and play with her, the thought greatly excites me but until it happens I'm not sure how I will
Actually feel about seeing this. Any advice? "
Discuss it with her fully.
*civk* |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Love and sex aren't the same thing. Loyalty and sex aren't the same thing.
Couples who genuinely like to see their partner with other people understand that.
People can still understand that and not want to swing too though."
Think this sums it perfectly. We don't analyse it at all but we both just enjoy it  |
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Cock that was it was my typing. Yes we have chatted about going to a local club sort of just to check it out first then talk about how we feel
About it, I am sure I'd love to see her played with as well
As her sucking cock yet knowing she is my girlfriend when we talk about it I get real turned on and when we talk about this when having sex it's amazing just not fully sure how the next step will feel |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
We don't think that humans are naturally monogamous and so we decided to let our roving eyes lead us into temptation. It turned out that multiple partners really excites us and makes us closer, much closer, which is something familiar to lots of couples on here.
Also, perhaps especially for women, two guys can stimulate more pleasure centres at once. That is worth trying at least a dozen times!
Finally we both love seeing the other get pleasure.
So to answer your question: in my head is sheer joy at seeing Lass have a good time. Massive excitement at joining in and a humongous thrill when I have a woman in front of her.
Get stuck in! |
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"Cock that was it was my typing. Yes we have chatted about going to a local club sort of just to check it out first then talk about how we feel
About it, I am sure I'd love to see her played with as well
As her sucking cock yet knowing she is my girlfriend when we talk about it I get real turned on and when we talk about this when having sex it's amazing just not fully sure how the next step will feel"
Maybe if you go to the club, see how you feel. It sounds like something you want to do and enjoy, go for it |
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"Ok so if I were gonna chance it I'd be going it as a single male, but I'm trying to understand what's going on in the boyfriends/hubbys head when a stranger they've approved is now fucking his wife/gf.
Also what is the woman typically thinking too, she's sucking another guy off perhaps and kissing him and getting very intimate, so what is she thinking in regards to keeping that boundary (staying loyal to her partner) and yet enjoying it?
I'm by no means knocking this, but for me to ever consider getting involved in this and to avoid me worrying I'll say or do something wrong, I need to understand the thought process behind this so I can better appreciate it."
You do realise your on a swinging site? |
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"Yes I am sure we'll plan a club visit together. Am I odd in getting turned on by the thought of her being played with and doing things to others more than the thought of me having two women? "
No honey you are not odd. You are turned on by her being pleased sexually..... |
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"Yes I am sure we'll plan a club visit together. Am I odd in getting turned on by the thought of her being played with and doing things to others more than the thought of me having two women?
No honey you are not odd. You are turned on by her being pleased sexually....."
Yes I am turned on by seeing her suck someone else's cock not sure about actual kissing someone else though or actual sexual intercourse |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It's a good question and one that will have gone through most couples heads that swing for the first time.
On our first swing we immediately broke one of the rules we had decided on and had separate room sex.
I enjoyed every second and when the lovely lady and myself later wandered back into the lounge where we had left C she was enjoying herself immensely, she looked up and gave me this huge grin and there was no jealousy and never has been.
You are either that kind of couple or not, simple really. |
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"Yes I am sure we'll plan a club visit together. Am I odd in getting turned on by the thought of her being played with and doing things to others more than the thought of me having two women?
No honey you are not odd. You are turned on by her being pleased sexually.....
Yes I am turned on by seeing her suck someone else's cock not sure about actual kissing someone else though or actual sexual intercourse "
Maybe both discuss boundaries if you do this. However what about the third party? Will they get any satisfaction from a meet? |
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"Yes I am sure we'll plan a club visit together. Am I odd in getting turned on by the thought of her being played with and doing things to others more than the thought of me having two women?
No honey you are not odd. You are turned on by her being pleased sexually.....
Yes I am turned on by seeing her suck someone else's cock not sure about actual kissing someone else though or actual sexual intercourse "
Take things slowly. Try and get into the mindset that you might not like some things that happen but if you communicate openly and understand that what happens during swinging stays during swinging you negotiate with your partner so it doesn't happen again. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Yes I am sure we'll plan a club visit together. Am I odd in getting turned on by the thought of her being played with and doing things to others more than the thought of me having two women?
No honey you are not odd. You are turned on by her being pleased sexually.....
Yes I am turned on by seeing her suck someone else's cock not sure about actual kissing someone else though or actual sexual intercourse
Take things slowly. Try and get into the mindset that you might not like some things that happen but if you communicate openly and understand that what happens during swinging stays during swinging you negotiate with your partner so it doesn't happen again."
Communicate with each other and take each aspect of each experience into account before you progress - When we started swinging it was a bit like driving an unfamiliar car - exciting, full of anticipation at where we were headed to next but we sometimes found ourselves lurching into high gear, revving madly, stalling....then when we hit the sweet spot where the engine purred and the road smoothly sped by then it became a fantastic journey for us both |
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If you're the jealous type then swinging is not for you. I see the other guy as a human vibrator, he's there to enhance our sex lives nothing more. Watching her being brought to the point of orgasm by another man is a massive turn on plus spit roasting her which she loves |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ok so if I were gonna chance it I'd be going it as a single male, but I'm trying to understand what's going on in the boyfriends/hubbys head when a stranger they've approved is now fucking his wife/gf.
Also what is the woman typically thinking too, she's sucking another guy off perhaps and kissing him and getting very intimate, so what is she thinking in regards to keeping that boundary (staying loyal to her partner) and yet enjoying it?
I'm by no means knocking this, but for me to ever consider getting involved in this and to avoid me worrying I'll say or do something wrong, I need to understand the thought process behind this so I can better appreciate it.
Ok here is our take on it .
Some people are truly able to differentiate between sex and emotion . Sex , with a completely open disposition to it , will involve kissing , stroking and everything that may happen between lovers . The only thing that doesn't occur is the love which 2 people may share .
So , for us , we don't have any limits on what we may do with someone else on a meet . Nothing is off limit , kissing , caressing , cuddling , and all aspects of the actual act . In fact we both absolutely adore watching each other get totally immersed in a passionate encounter with someone else . And that's the one thing we do insist on , that we are always in the same room / space when we have meets .
Why don't we get jealous ? Because we love the pants of each other , and with all the fun we have with each other and others , we know that neither of us would ever even think of playing away . We have absolutely no desire to , and to be honest , we wouldn't have time to !
After literally hundreds of meets over the six years of swinging , we are 100% confident in our own marriage and commitment to it .
On the other hand there are those who can't imagine their loved one fucking someone else , never mind the passion and eroticism of an intense meet . For them , this could destroy everything , so one has to be sure it's not going to hurt each other . The damage could be catastrophic . You either get it or you don't I guess ."
: spot on |
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"We don't think that humans are naturally monogamous and so we decided to let our roving eyes lead us into temptation. It turned out that multiple partners really excites us and makes us closer, much closer, which is something familiar to lots of couples on here.
Also, perhaps especially for women, two guys can stimulate more pleasure centres at once. That is worth trying at least a dozen times!
Finally we both love seeing the other get pleasure.
So to answer your question: in my head is sheer joy at seeing Lass have a good time. Massive excitement at joining in and a humongous thrill when I have a woman in front of her.
Get stuck in!"
We couldn't agree more .... spot on |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Just because I'm fucking with another man or woman, doesn't mean I love them or I'm not loyal to my hubby.
It means in that moment I find them attractive/sexy and my hubby finds it's horny to watch me being naughty.
And vice versa - when I see him being naughty it turns me on something ruthless.
So it's not about us thinking they're being disloyal, we've only met with a few couples but We've never been jealous, for us it's the actual sight of us being naughty regardless of who we're with and knowing we can join in that to make it even better!!
We're not swans - if we were we wouldn't be attracted to others.
Just because the law/church or whoever says they're should only be one partner doesn't mean they are right. In fact they're full of BS! |
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Loyalty is loyalty. We enjoy doing what we do, when we get chance and we stick to our own pre defined boundaries. No trust is broken, it's honest and open and it's sexy as hell to see N take another guy. I'm yet to actually full swap myself as of yet, but i have played and N assures me shes looling forward to seeing it.
B |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm not a big football fan, but I love Rugby union. If I happen to kick a football about with my mates for half-an-hour, it doesn't change my love of rugby... it just makes me hot and sweaty.
Cal"
|
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"Ok so if I were gonna chance it I'd be going it as a single male, but I'm trying to understand what's going on in the boyfriends/hubbys head when a stranger they've approved is now fucking his wife/gf.
Also what is the woman typically thinking too, she's sucking another guy off perhaps and kissing him and getting very intimate, so what is she thinking in regards to keeping that boundary (staying loyal to her partner) and yet enjoying it?
I'm by no means knocking this, but for me to ever consider getting involved in this and to avoid me worrying I'll say or do something wrong, I need to understand the thought process behind this so I can better appreciate it.
Your a toy they're using. Nothing more. "
that's pretty much it haha.so refreshing to get some straight to the point honasty on here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm not a big football fan, but I love Rugby union. If I happen to kick a football about with my mates for half-an-hour, it doesn't change my love of rugby... it just makes me hot and sweaty.
Cal"
|
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By *lceeWoman
over a year ago
Leeds |
Ok, so I'm poly and I'll always put it in terms of food.
I love lasagne. Adore it. It's creamy and meaty and fills you up. There's not a single bad thing about it. It is my favourite dish.
But if someone was to tell me that I had to est lasagna every morning, noon or night until I died, I'd be all like, "but what about sushi?" 
If I had to, I'd do it and I wouldn't be too unhappy as I love lasagna. Occasionally, though, I'd smell a gorgeous bowl of spicy Pho, or a katsu curry or a fiery burrito and I'd be just a little sad.
Sex is completely different to intimacy. It's just genuinely good fun when the only emotions are of friendship and respect rather than full blown romantic love.
So why would I be worried about enjoying a varied diet? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok, so I'm poly and I'll always put it in terms of food.
I love lasagne. Adore it. It's creamy and meaty and fills you up. There's not a single bad thing about it. It is my favourite dish.
But if someone was to tell me that I had to est lasagna every morning, noon or night until I died, I'd be all like, "but what about sushi?"
If I had to, I'd do it and I wouldn't be too unhappy as I love lasagna. Occasionally, though, I'd smell a gorgeous bowl of spicy Pho, or a katsu curry or a fiery burrito and I'd be just a little sad.
Sex is completely different to intimacy. It's just genuinely good fun when the only emotions are of friendship and respect rather than full blown romantic love.
So why would I be worried about enjoying a varied diet? "
Best analogy yet. You win the Internet. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok so if I were gonna chance it I'd be going it as a single male, but I'm trying to understand what's going on in the boyfriends/hubbys head when a stranger they've approved is now fucking his wife/gf.
Also what is the woman typically thinking too, she's sucking another guy off perhaps and kissing him and getting very intimate, so what is she thinking in regards to keeping that boundary (staying loyal to her partner) and yet enjoying it?
I'm by no means knocking this, but for me to ever consider getting involved in this and to avoid me worrying I'll say or do something wrong, I need to understand the thought process behind this so I can better appreciate it."
Only you can answer this question for yourself OP. Don't be swayed by others.
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"I'm not a big football fan, but I love Rugby union. If I happen to kick a football about with my mates for half-an-hour, it doesn't change my love of rugby... it just makes me hot and sweaty.
Cal"
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