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carnt cum
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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ok iv had this problem for a while and the other night i was with a girl and it happend again wen i have sex i carnt cum and its reali getting to me now would love to hear if anyone could help out or got the same problem |
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By *ohjaneCouple
over a year ago
south staffs |
Sometimes you have to relax and give yourself permission to cum. It is a head thing for some people.
If you can cum when you wank then try to fix the feeling in your mind so you can aim for that same feeling when you are having sex.
Just a suggestion.
Jane x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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thank you what it is iv met a girl and i told her i have a this problem and she was under standing then friday night after 2 and a half hours non stop trying i just couldnt and i just felt like id insulted her and she was just like its fine |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"thank you what it is iv met a girl and i told her i have a this problem and she was under standing then friday night after 2 and a half hours non stop trying i just couldnt and i just felt like id insulted her and she was just like its fine"
She prob didn't walk straight til Sunday! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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lol i like to have that effect what can i say but like i got to the point i was nakerd and just said i am so so sorry and she was like i realy dont mind i got to cum a few times |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"thank you what it is iv met a girl and i told her i have a this problem and she was under standing then friday night after 2 and a half hours non stop trying i just couldnt and i just felt like id insulted her and she was just like its fine
She prob didn't walk straight til Sunday!"
hehe
she is probably loving it 
as above. Relax and enjoy it, try not to think about it too much and enjoy the moment |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"like i said would if i could i just carnt cum 8 woman iv been with and i carnt cum"
if you can cum through masturbation then there is nothing physically wrong with you........its an "upstairs" issue rather than "downstairs" issue if you are ok when wanking |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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try a different position her legs on your shoulders nice and deep get her to tighten her pussy mussles around your cock while u pound her hard that should work if not ask her mother to fuck u |
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"ok iv had this problem for a while and the other night i was with a girl and it happend again wen i have sex i carnt cum and its reali getting to me now would love to hear if anyone could help out or got the same problem"
i been married to someone for 19 years who rarely comes shagging...but there are other ways to come |
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If you play with yourself a lot, then you may have conditioned yourself into only being able to orgasam by hand. I would suggest laying off the wanking for a while and see if that improves things. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"try a different position her legs on your shoulders nice and deep get her to tighten her pussy mussles around your cock while u pound her hard that should work if not ask her mother to fuck u"
......ask her mother to fuck u 
How's that going to help the him ¿
* S¡Ts iN CrYp¡T * -|- |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
To the OP...take no notice of the people taking the piss and hopefully you were not logged on to read the posts I have taken off.
To your problem...it is probably all in your head. The more you worry about it, the more it will be a problem.
Try having fun without penetration for a while, concentrate on each other in other ways and stop getting stressed about it.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ive had this same problem on and off for 10 years and to be honest a lot of girls really like it that you can carry on for ages. I do think it is all in the head and down to being able to relax. I have no problem being able to make my self cum and when I cum playing with girls its very rare for it to be whilst fucking |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Made me feel like a bit of a stud at first I was able to fuck for england and please the girls but must admit If your girl enjoys a bit of a cum shower it can leave her waiting a bit longer than average LOL Just try to relax and if it happens it happens. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Paul has this issue. When he first got with me he told me about it. And to be honest it was quite refreshing really as I always got to cum first. Now we have been together for almost 4 yrs he is fine, he can usually cum once every night to every other night. He is a no go in the morning but occasionally can do both morning and night.
Which is a big change from when he met me, however on meets he doesn't. Its all a matter of relaxing and until you find someone you feel 100% relaxed with it won't happen. Try not to get stressed about it and just enjoy the sex! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This isn't as uncommon as you might think.
I didn't cum on a swing meet until around our fifth or sixth meet.
It may have something to do you wanting to "put on a good show", rather than being a "bit quick on the trigger"
Don't let it play on your mind too much and you'll probably find that it will sort itself.
Good luck  |
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I take it you are able to cum when you are alone? If so then I would just explain to sexual partners and try a little mutual mastibation. Dont pressure yourself to take it to completion though at first. Maybe help you if you meet the same people rather than onenighters? Im sure its just a relaxation thing. It will happen one day if you relax and dont worry about it.
Its not just men that have this problem you know. Some women just cant. I found I couldnt when we started swinging, even with my own partner. As time has passed and I have relaxed more I have once more found my orgasm in a swinging senario, even with the new partners. I didnt worry about it and started to use toys on meets to help. The guys love that too and I must admit I usually take a little kit! Good luck. Dont worry, the ladies are getting the benefit of a guy that can just keep going... lucky them!
Mistress x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"thanks every one im gonna try something that i read on a website so no ejaculting for 2 weeks and see it that works"
2 weeks 
You'll have bollocks like space hoppers
when you do cum, you'll go off like a roman candle |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
i was really tempted to say it not a problem that most women would complain about... but those jokes have been and gone...
I can see where in effect it can be a vicious circle.. where it is in your head, and then to make it worse the stress of thinking about it while doing it is probably making it worse.... if it becomes that much of an issue, it might be worth checking in with your GP and seeing if there is a "well man" clinic near you to make sure it isn't a "body issue".. then you can at least take it from there or they can give you advice... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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ummm....this may sound stupid, but i remember my uncle telling me about the same problem around 12 years ago...1 year later he found out he was gay but genuinely never knew it :o read into that what you will, but bottom line is most people have said that it's psychological and they are probably right. does this always happen with purely "sexual partners" or "girlfriends" as well?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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again, this is gonna sound strange, but maybe the whole "fucking random women" just isn't your thing. many people like the idea of swinging, but would much prefer a solid relationship which are complete contrasts in the bedroom department. i must admit, i'm not entirely sure that i like swinging as such which is why i don't meet many people from here. maybe find a sexual partner on here that you have more of an emotional connection with....i reckon you'll soon be firing on all cylinders (excuse the pun)  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i have been sexy active since 15 and in all that time i have Never cum from a blowjob
i have cum close many times , but nothing i can get almost there and i will subside and as soon as my cock is a hole after a bit i will cum quick and then i will stay hard and go for ages
i am a big believer that you dont need to cum to enjoy yrself , and enjoy the person yr with ... some would say you do but i dont think u do
if she is understanding then dont worry about it m8 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To be homest i would not worry if i were you.
I only cum on about 20% of our meets and its not the girls fault.
But its not something i worry about or spend any time thinking why. Most want to meet us again (they must be mad)
Yet when having sex with the wife nine times out of ten theres no problem..I quess 25 years of marriage she knows how to push the right buttons.
I would be more worried if i got erection problems, if i dont cum who cares
We/I go to meets and hopefully treat every one with respect and thats all we ask for in return.
I never set out on a meet wondering if i will cum, if i do bonus if not still been a great night with great people!
Try not to worry, easy for me to say, but i dont! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It sounds like there are quite a few guys who have experienced this so you are obviously not on your own and it sounds a fairly common experience.
It is true that once you get a thought in your head and start worrying over it, then it compounds the issue tenfold. My OH finds it difficult to cum with a condom on, so when we play with couples he can last for ages but he doesnt cum. Then he has sex with me and can cum and he worries about whether this is insulting to the woman he was playing with. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It sounds like there are quite a few guys who have experienced this so you are obviously not on your own and it sounds a fairly common experience.
It is true that once you get a thought in your head and start worrying over it, then it compounds the issue tenfold. My OH finds it difficult to cum with a condom on, so when we play with couples he can last for ages but he doesnt cum. Then he has sex with me and can cum and he worries about whether this is insulting to the woman he was playing with. "
Forget my post..this ones far better put and i agree with all of it! |
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By *evin5050Man
over a year ago
wolverhampton |
"ok iv had this problem for a while and the other night i was with a girl and it happend again wen i have sex i carnt cum and its reali getting to me now would love to hear if anyone could help out or got the same problem"
I had this problem following my marriage break up a few years ago. I'd been with her for 20 years and when the opportunity arose to meet an old flame - I took it, but when having sex I just could not come, either by penetration, her wanking me, or even wanking myself. Yes, in one way she got plenty of orgasms but it was frustrating for us both. There was no problem on my own aand masterbating at all!!!
So, being an amateur psychologist I realised that the longer it went on the worse it would get, so I created a plan:
1. following penetrative sex I masterbated myself, with her also adding stimulation - after a few attempts over a couple of weeks or so I managed to come. Only then did we move on:
2. then following penetrative sex she would masterbate me - eventually I managed to come - regularly. A big step forward
3. after getting used to coming in her company generally - I managed to come inside her - success. Sometimes I still find a difficulty in coming, so I just go back to step one and start again.
It was most certainly a "head" not physical thing with me. Main thing is to take the pressure off yourself as the more you fixate on it the more the pattern is set. Hope this has helped...
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"ok iv had this problem for a while and the other night i was with a girl and it happend again wen i have sex i carnt cum and its reali getting to me now would love to hear if anyone could help out or got the same problem"
Yep always had the problem both with meets and partners
Can't cum at least 8 times out of 10
But kinda used to it now as frustrating as It is xx |
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"I think we've found a new show for Ainsley Harriet. "Can't cum won't cum""
Uncanny. I used the same joke when I had this problem. Its a stress reaction. I think the important thing is not to worry about it. If it happens it happens if it doesn't no worries. It will happen when it happens. Stressing about it will only make it worse. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"ok iv had this problem for a while and the other night i was with a girl and it happend again wen i have sex i carnt cum and its reali getting to me now would love to hear if anyone could help out or got the same problem"
I am now 42 years old I have had the same problem all my life with me its always with a new partner .......i'm sure its to do with the pressure of being with someone new ....I've looked into it as a young man realize it was a relaxation problem.
your just not comfortable yet with your new partner no reflection on her its just the way you are ....some women are the same they will not reach orgasm with a new lover no matter how exciting the sex is until there at the right level of comforablity with there partner.
I used to beat myself up over it like you are because you think your not normal one night stands are fun but you think your missing out because every one of your male friends gets to come on one night stands but you don't....just stop thinking about coming when your next with this girl enjoy the pleasure you are giving her and trust me it will happen .......i'm a very heavy comer and I never come until i'm totally relaxed with a new partner ........how long that takes depends on the person and me not thinking about coming ....hope you read this and it helps your normal trust me .. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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dragon finds it difficult to come with other women too but we think we've put it down to de-sensitsation from using a condom but wouldn't ever dream of playing without one cos of the risks. with me it happens without trouble xx |
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By *r ManxMan
over a year ago
NeverWhere |
Try and relax and and try and stop thinking about cuming.
Just concentrate on pleasuring your partner.
If you cant cum having a wank watching your favorite porn then speak to your GP or sexual health clinic and read up on it! google is a wonderful reference library |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Had this problem myself mate for a long time. What worked for me was a bit more fantasy. Tell your self that she really wants your cum, that she's a total cum loving slut if you like haha!
What is going on is you are telling yourself that you are doing something wrong, when you're not mate. Really go for it. If you can get her to tell you she wants you to cum, that will help.
Making yourself come when she is around will help too, basically you want to edge closer and closer to cumming nearer and nearer her pussy... takes a bit of understanding from the girl but there is loads on the internet "retarded or delayed ejaculation".
Also in regards to technique, a bit less macho slamming and more of rubbing the top end of your cock against her front pussy walls and the g spot may also help.
You may well find that once you do manage it, it can be like the door has been unlocked GOOD NEWS HEY
If you want to talk about it i will friend request you (i have single males blocked you see), if you're not interested don't worry.
GOOD LUCK! THERE ARE SOLUTIONS TO THIS!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I know just how you feel. I didn't have my first orgasm until 3 years ago.
It makes you feel like a freak, like you're not doing it right.
I found it was down to stress & I was thinking about it too much.
I was worried that my partners were thinking they were doing something wrong or if it was their fault, that there was something psychically wrong with me etc
Once I chilled out about it & told myself not think while fucking, just to feel & go with the flow, that if I didn't cum so what I was still having a good time, it finally happened & my god was that first orgasm intense!!!! I've never looked back...I usually have multiple orgasms now when I have sex!
It did take a long time. A good year after making a conscious decision to not worrying about it & to just focus on the sensations rather than worrying about having an orgasm. (or lack of)
Sometimes we focus on the destination too much instead of enjoying the journey. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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thinks its a terrible thing when someone has been denied the pleasure of orgasm, but feels very frubbly indeed for those who have discovered or rediscovered it again
Wolf |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've only briskly read through this thread but I didn't notice the one main thing which is a common precursor to this condition.
In my professional job I treat various conditions of the male persuasion and the most common cause of this (retarded ejaculation) is pressure.
Both in the physical and the mental sense.
Everybody has told you to relax, that's a good idea. However you also need to loosen your grip when you masturbate. Applying too much pressure conditions your nerve endings to only ejaculate when that pressure is present, something which your miss cannot replicate with her lubrication and muscles.
Try holding yourself looser and lighter and you will soon see the difference.
Good luck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hi
Just on the off chance I'll mention this. Anti-depressants can have a huge impact on a guy's ability to cum. With so many people taking them these days, I just wondered if some guys on here were in that situation.
I took them for a few years and noticed a massive difference. Indeed, I distinctly remember the first time I noticed a difference while wanking - I was scared - I thought I'd lost the ability to ejaculate!
I don't take them anymore (I actually believe they are nasty things, but that's another story) and things are very different again. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi
Just on the off chance I'll mention this. Anti-depressants can have a huge impact on a guy's ability to cum. With so many people taking them these days, I just wondered if some guys on here were in that situation.
I took them for a few years and noticed a massive difference. Indeed, I distinctly
remember the first time I noticed a difference while wanking - I was scared - I thought I'd lost the ability to ejaculate!
I don't take them anymore (I actually believe they are nasty things, but that's another story) and things are very different again."
Aye they are nasty things
I can't take them at all
On the odd occasions I have needed them I was prescribed them and they actually make me suicidal so hence I now just have ta get on wi it xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I dont want to divert this thread, but feel I should say after my last post that anti-depressants can be the right thing for people in some circumstances.
The side effects are a massive issue though.
Sorry-didn't want to offend anyone who takes them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Wouldn't worry about it too much mate, same thing happens to me, can be frustrating at times, but thinking about it to much will only make the problem worse tbh.
As people have already said it's all mental,
(I'd guarantee if you went into a situation expecting/hoping to go on for hours it'd last 20mins, )
Don't worry too much it'll pass and once you find a way or certain thing to help you on you'll be sorted from there. |
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