FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > How do I get my wife into 3somes and swinging?
How do I get my wife into 3somes and swinging?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I love the idea of seeing my wife being taken by another guy but she isn't into it at all and would probably kill me if I suggested it! Would also love to have another woman join us and try partner swapping! Anyone got any suggestions on how to get her into trying new stuff?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I love the idea of seeing my wife being taken by another guy but she isn't into it at all and would probably kill me if I suggested it! Would also love to have another woman join us and try partner swapping! Anyone got any suggestions on how to get her into trying new stuff? "
You say you wife " isnt into it at all" but you haven't suggested it?
That doesn't really make sense, my good man |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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All you can do fella is talk to her, explore fantasies, gently suggest things and see how she reacts. Maybe do one of those online mutual questionnaires where you select sexual things that excite you and see if your ideas on Swinging match?
If she's not into it, she's not into it - don't push it or make it an issue as that's likely to drive a wedge. Respect her limits but, at the right times, test those limits in a non threatening and non judgmental way! Good luck fella |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I love the idea of seeing my wife being taken by another guy but she isn't into it at all and would probably kill me if I suggested it! Would also love to have another woman join us and try partner swapping! Anyone got any suggestions on how to get her into trying new stuff?
You say you wife " isnt into it at all" but you haven't suggested it?
That doesn't really make sense, my good man"
I know her well enough to know how she'd react if I suggested it! I think it would need to be her idea! |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
OK I'll be the first to break... 
...you don't "get" your partner into anything OP - you talk to them about your fantasies, why the idea of playing with other people appeals, and see if they're equally interested, then you either drop it if they're not interested, or mutually agree to take steps such as setting up a couples profile here, or visiting a club together.
Either way you don't "get" them to do anything |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"All you can do fella is talk to her, explore fantasies, gently suggest things and see how she reacts. Maybe do one of those online mutual questionnaires where you select sexual things that excite you and see if your ideas on Swinging match?
If she's not into it, she's not into it - don't push it or make it an issue as that's likely to drive a wedge. Respect her limits but, at the right times, test those limits in a non threatening and non judgmental way! Good luck fella "
I guess but don't think it's ever going to happen! Thanks for the advice though! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"OK I'll be the first to break...
...you don't "get" your partner into anything OP - you talk to them about your fantasies, why the idea of playing with other people appeals, and see if they're equally interested, then you either drop it if they're not interested, or mutually agree to take steps such as setting up a couples profile here, or visiting a club together.
Thank you. I guess it's just going to remain a fantasy for me then!
Either way you don't "get" them to do anything "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"OK I'll be the first to break...
...you don't "get" your partner into anything OP - you talk to them about your fantasies, why the idea of playing with other people appeals, and see if they're equally interested, then you either drop it if they're not interested, or mutually agree to take steps such as setting up a couples profile here, or visiting a club together.
Either way you don't "get" them to do anything "
.
How to spoil a thread with sensibleness  |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"OK I'll be the first to break...
...you don't "get" your partner into anything OP - you talk to them about your fantasies, why the idea of playing with other people appeals, and see if they're equally interested, then you either drop it if they're not interested, or mutually agree to take steps such as setting up a couples profile here, or visiting a club together.
Either way you don't "get" them to do anything
Thank you. I guess it's just going to remain a fantasy for me then!
"
That it will for sure as long as you don't discuss it with her |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"OK I'll be the first to break...
...you don't "get" your partner into anything OP - you talk to them about your fantasies, why the idea of playing with other people appeals, and see if they're equally interested, then you either drop it if they're not interested, or mutually agree to take steps such as setting up a couples profile here, or visiting a club together.
Either way you don't "get" them to do anything
Thank you. I guess it's just going to remain a fantasy for me then!
That it will for sure as long as you don't discuss it with her"
It's worth a try! I'm sure she will get over it if she doesn't like the idea! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"OK I'll be the first to break...
...you don't "get" your partner into anything OP - you talk to them about your fantasies, why the idea of playing with other people appeals, and see if they're equally interested, then you either drop it if they're not interested, or mutually agree to take steps such as setting up a couples profile here, or visiting a club together.
Either way you don't "get" them to do anything "
Agree, there's no such thing like "convincing" somebody to swing. Other they like it, or they don't. They can be ashamed, but they'd say they like it, but that's another thing. Before you put yourself and other people into a disaster-date, think about it. Or just keep meeting as a single, as you did. |
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You will find that in most cases the more open you are about your fantasies the more open your partner will eventually become. This might not lead to fulfilling your fantasy of swinging but it could open up a whole new world of possibilities.
Talk. It's the only way. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"OK I'll be the first to break...
...you don't "get" your partner into anything OP - you talk to them about your fantasies, why the idea of playing with other people appeals, and see if they're equally interested, then you either drop it if they're not interested, or mutually agree to take steps such as setting up a couples profile here, or visiting a club together.
Either way you don't "get" them to do anything
Thank you. I guess it's just going to remain a fantasy for me then!
That it will for sure as long as you don't discuss it with her"
Does she actualy know you have a profile? And this is something the person has to want to do- not be talked into it, if pushed you could cause yourself alot of problems. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'll tell you what, fab needs a FAQ page, where questions like this can be on display with all the subsequent answers there to see"
A one stop shop for all your fab needs as it were?
Welcome to the Fabhotline, for all your swinging shenanigans.
If you are a Fabsingle male press 1
1
You have selected Fab Single Male.
If you want to fill your wank bank, Press 1
If you want to reprogramme your imaginary wife, Press 2
If you want advice on reprogramming your real wife, Press 3
If you want to hear stories of how people got their wives into swinging, press 69
69696969696969 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"OK I'll be the first to break...
...you don't "get" your partner into anything OP - you talk to them about your fantasies, why the idea of playing with other people appeals, and see if they're equally interested, then you either drop it if they're not interested, or mutually agree to take steps such as setting up a couples profile here, or visiting a club together.
Either way you don't "get" them to do anything "
Exactly this |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"OK I'll be the first to break...
...you don't "get" your partner into anything OP - you talk to them about your fantasies, why the idea of playing with other people appeals, and see if they're equally interested, then you either drop it if they're not interested, or mutually agree to take steps such as setting up a couples profile here, or visiting a club together.
Either way you don't "get" them to do anything
Thank you. I guess it's just going to remain a fantasy for me then!
That it will for sure as long as you don't discuss it with her
Does she actualy know you have a profile? And this is something the person has to want to do- not be talked into it, if pushed you could cause yourself alot of problems."
She has no idea I have a profile. Looks like I'm going to have to test the water with her! Lol |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"Why don't u show her your profile and the verification. That might do it.
No I think she'd cut my bits off if I did that! "
I think she'd cut your bits off when she finds out you've been on here over a year and cheated on her! Do yourself a favour, delete your profile talk to her, if she's up for it then do a couples profile with her! Guys like you are ruining this site for the genuine single guys as we are frequently finding that a lot of them are married/partnered and cheating! You should be sorting your marriage out if you aren't happy with your sex life! Harsh words but true. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Why don't u show her your profile and the verification. That might do it.
No I think she'd cut my bits off if I did that! I think she'd cut your bits off when she finds out you've been on here over a year and cheated on her! Do yourself a favour, delete your profile talk to her, if she's up for it then do a couples profile with her! Guys like you are ruining this site for the genuine single guys as we are frequently finding that a lot of them are married/partnered and cheating! You should be sorting your marriage out if you aren't happy with your sex life! Harsh words but true."
Clearly states on my profile that I'm married and wife won't play so don't think I'm pretending I'm not married! Just that I'm playing as a single guy not a couple! Not difficult just true! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why don't u show her your profile and the verification. That might do it.
No I think she'd cut my bits off if I did that! I think she'd cut your bits off when she finds out you've been on here over a year and cheated on her! Do yourself a favour, delete your profile talk to her, if she's up for it then do a couples profile with her! Guys like you are ruining this site for the genuine single guys as we are frequently finding that a lot of them are married/partnered and cheating! You should be sorting your marriage out if you aren't happy with your sex life! Harsh words but true.
Clearly states on my profile that I'm married and wife won't play so don't think I'm pretending I'm not married! Just that I'm playing as a single guy not a couple! Not difficult just true! "
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"Why don't u show her your profile and the verification. That might do it.
No I think she'd cut my bits off if I did that! I think she'd cut your bits off when she finds out you've been on here over a year and cheated on her! Do yourself a favour, delete your profile talk to her, if she's up for it then do a couples profile with her! Guys like you are ruining this site for the genuine single guys as we are frequently finding that a lot of them are married/partnered and cheating! You should be sorting your marriage out if you aren't happy with your sex life! Harsh words but true.
Clearly states on my profile that I'm married and wife won't play so don't think I'm pretending I'm not married! Just that I'm playing as a single guy not a couple! Not difficult just true! "
still cheating though... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why don't u show her your profile and the verification. That might do it.
No I think she'd cut my bits off if I did that! I think she'd cut your bits off when she finds out you've been on here over a year and cheated on her! Do yourself a favour, delete your profile talk to her, if she's up for it then do a couples profile with her! Guys like you are ruining this site for the genuine single guys as we are frequently finding that a lot of them are married/partnered and cheating! You should be sorting your marriage out if you aren't happy with your sex life! Harsh words but true.
Clearly states on my profile that I'm married and wife won't play so don't think I'm pretending I'm not married! Just that I'm playing as a single guy not a couple! Not difficult just true! "
That just says you lying on profile too-- why not put' married and wife wont play because she does'nt know, so i'm cheating",, |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Why don't u show her your profile and the verification. That might do it.
No I think she'd cut my bits off if I did that! I think she'd cut your bits off when she finds out you've been on here over a year and cheated on her! Do yourself a favour, delete your profile talk to her, if she's up for it then do a couples profile with her! Guys like you are ruining this site for the genuine single guys as we are frequently finding that a lot of them are married/partnered and cheating! You should be sorting your marriage out if you aren't happy with your sex life! Harsh words but true.
Clearly states on my profile that I'm married and wife won't play so don't think I'm pretending I'm not married! Just that I'm playing as a single guy not a couple! Not difficult just true!
That just says you lying on profile too-- why not put' married and wife wont play because she does'nt know, so i'm cheating",, "
Ok thanks! Advice noted and ignored! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'll tell you what, fab needs a FAQ page, where questions like this can be on display with all the subsequent answers there to see"
You can already search the archives for threads on subjects x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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why do people want to try so hard to get people to do something they do not want to do - total opposite of what this is all about - correct me if im wrong |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"why do people want to try so hard to get people to do something they do not want to do - total opposite of what this is all about - correct me if im wrong "
No u are right! I would never make her do it if she doesn't want to. Just wanted some suggestions as to how I might go about seeing if she might!
Maybe I should forget it!
Thanks |
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If she "would probably kill you" if you suggested it...then there is your answer.
You cannot get your wife interested in swinging if it's not her thing. As always, interest in this lifestyle is probably better discussed before marriage |
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"I love the idea of seeing my wife being taken by another guy but she isn't into it at all and would probably kill me if I suggested it! Would also love to have another woman join us and try partner swapping! Anyone got any suggestions on how to get her into trying new stuff? "
Speak to professor x about mind control. |
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I've said it before and doubtless I'll say it again. There is no way of asking your partner if they want to swing that will guarantee a positive response. No way to do it that bypasses the initial conversation and subsequent discussion. No amount of talking to other people about it will ever be a substitute for talking to your partner. |
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By *ikilovesCCouple
over a year ago
village life, closest main town inverness |
"I've said it before and doubtless I'll say it again. There is no way of asking your partner if they want to swing that will guarantee a positive response. No way to do it that bypasses the initial conversation and subsequent discussion. No amount of talking to other people about it will ever be a substitute for talking to your partner."
.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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as others have said firstly just be open and talk to her she is your wife you should be able to talk about anything.
however next time you are both in a playing mood ask her if she has anyfantasys she would like to act out, tell her she can have anything she wants and you will support her in every way she wants then talk,
you may not end up swinging but it may lead to some exciting play with eachother,
be warned you agree she can have anything she wants , beware she may ask you for something you may not want but fair is fair |
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"as others have said firstly just be open and talk to her she is your wife you should be able to talk about anything.
however next time you are both in a playing mood ask her if she has anyfantasys she would like to act out, tell her she can have anything she wants and you will support her in every way she wants then talk,
you may not end up swinging but it may lead to some exciting play with eachother,
be warned you agree she can have anything she wants , beware she may ask you for something you may not want but fair is fair"
Yes, I wonder if the men (it is usually men) who ask for this advice consider that they might be asked to do something they're not keen on and how they would react. |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"
be warned you agree she can have anything she wants , beware she may ask you for something you may not want but fair is fair
Yes, I wonder if the men (it is usually men) who ask for this advice consider that they might be asked to do something they're not keen on and how they would react."
Surely in a good relationship you shouldn't feel pressured into doing something you don't want to. Everyone should be allowed to say no thanks to something without thinking they should do for the sake of "fair is fair" |
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be warned you agree she can have anything she wants , beware she may ask you for something you may not want but fair is fair
Yes, I wonder if the men (it is usually men) who ask for this advice consider that they might be asked to do something they're not keen on and how they would react.
Surely in a good relationship you shouldn't feel pressured into doing something you don't want to. Everyone should be allowed to say no thanks to something without thinking they should do for the sake of "fair is fair""
I agree. I sometimes wonder though if people asking for advice on how to introduce their partners have considered that their partner might be harbouring a fantasy that they wouldn't be keen on too and how they would react. |
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be warned you agree she can have anything she wants , beware she may ask you for something you may not want but fair is fair
Yes, I wonder if the men (it is usually men) who ask for this advice consider that they might be asked to do something they're not keen on and how they would react.
Surely in a good relationship you shouldn't feel pressured into doing something you don't want to. Everyone should be allowed to say no thanks to something without thinking they should do for the sake of "fair is fair"
I agree. I sometimes wonder though if people asking for advice on how to introduce their partners have considered that their partner might be harbouring a fantasy that they wouldn't be keen on too and how they would react."
You mean one might have fantasies of her dressing like Leia in a metallic bikini and she might be thinking 'oooh! Star Trek!'  |
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"
be warned you agree she can have anything she wants , beware she may ask you for something you may not want but fair is fair
Yes, I wonder if the men (it is usually men) who ask for this advice consider that they might be asked to do something they're not keen on and how they would react.
Surely in a good relationship you shouldn't feel pressured into doing something you don't want to. Everyone should be allowed to say no thanks to something without thinking they should do for the sake of "fair is fair"
I agree. I sometimes wonder though if people asking for advice on how to introduce their partners have considered that their partner might be harbouring a fantasy that they wouldn't be keen on too and how they would react.
You mean one might have fantasies of her dressing like Leia in a metallic bikini and she might be thinking 'oooh! Star Trek!' "
Yeah that sort of thing. 
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There are many people in couples, mainly women, who live under the illusion that their partner only wants to have sex with them. To discover that they, in fact, want to have sex with other people (and, as in the OP's case, have been actively pursuing that) would be devastating to them and would change their view of their partner forever.
I suspect the OP's partner is such a person that he knows it. |
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By *reygorCouple
over a year ago
birmingham |
"I love the idea of seeing my wife being taken by another guy but she isn't into it at all and would probably kill me if I suggested it! Would also love to have another woman join us and try partner swapping! Anyone got any suggestions on how to get her into trying new stuff? "
try telling her you a bi male that wants more sexual freedom .if she knows about your bi side .if that know good get a 12 month pass for gala bingo :and keep wanking . |
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"I'll tell you what, fab needs a FAQ page, where questions like this can be on display with all the subsequent answers there to see"
Yes, a "stickies" page... erm, although that name has unfortunate connotations given the possible subject matter lol!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I love the idea of seeing my wife being taken by another guy but she isn't into it at all and would probably kill me if I suggested it! Would also love to have another woman join us and try partner swapping! Anyone got any suggestions on how to get her into trying new stuff?
Haha can't help sorry . I thought of this problem so married someone I met on fab "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"OK I'll be the first to break...
...you don't "get" your partner into anything OP - you talk to them about your fantasies, why the idea of playing with other people appeals, and see if they're equally interested, then you either drop it if they're not interested, or mutually agree to take steps such as setting up a couples profile here, or visiting a club together.
Either way you don't "get" them to do anything "
 |
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"I love the idea of seeing my wife being taken by another guy but she isn't into it at all and would probably kill me if I suggested it! Would also love to have another woman join us and try partner swapping! Anyone got any suggestions on how to get her into trying new stuff? "
Haven't you found her profile on here yet? Maybe she's got you blocked... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I love the idea of seeing my wife being taken by another guy but she isn't into it at all and would probably kill me if I suggested it! Would also love to have another woman join us and try partner swapping! Anyone got any suggestions on how to get her into trying new stuff? "
You sit her down and ask her!If she goes for your 'nads with a carving knife,you know you've scored an own goal!Simples! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You will find that in most cases the more open you are about your fantasies the more open your partner will eventually become. This might not lead to fulfilling your fantasy of swinging but it could open up a whole new world of possibilities.
Talk. It's the only way."
We agree with this point yes - think about the advice you have received then decide .....do you want to risk your marriage by swinging as a single or do you want to communicate with her about your sexual desires and find out about her sexual desires?
In our case - we found out lots of unexpected things about each other....some of our sexual fantasies/interests have required negotiation and acceptance, some have been downright filthy and enjoyable straight away for us both!!!! Either way swinging has enriched our lives in an amazing way - effort is required - and communication and respect for each other. x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Going to grab some popcorn and wait....
AND a Slush Puppy
A litre sized one
We'll grab the haribos... star mix of fangtastics?? sorbets please"
no worries |
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"There are many people in couples, mainly women, who live under the illusion that their partner only wants to have sex with them. To discover that they, in fact, want to have sex with other people (and, as in the OP's case, have been actively pursuing that) would be devastating to them and would change their view of their partner forever.
I suspect the OP's partner is such a person that he knows it. "
Hoenesty |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you dont already do it, start getting her to look at porno with group stuff. With a previous partner, i bought porno mags featuring threesomes and while she was looking at them in bed i would go down on her and lick her cunt. Then i bought her a vibrator which she would use in herself while i fucked her face. One night while she was looking at porno featuring split roasts i asked her gently if she had ever fancied having two guys like that. She whispered YES. She said she had for years but wss afraid her previous boyfriends would be offended. I then assured her that i would see it as a loving experience to allow her to maximise her sexuality . Eventually via contact mags..this was before internet really got going..we did manage to meet some guys and had threesomes...which was great. Eventually
for other ressons we split up. But i still hold very fond memories of seeing her being splitroast and getting fucked while she sucked me off, her taking two cocks in her mouth etc. A truely wonderful and loving experience. |
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"I'll tell you what, fab needs a FAQ page, where questions like this can be on display with all the subsequent answers there to see
A one stop shop for all your fab needs as it were?
Welcome to the Fabhotline, for all your swinging shenanigans.
If you are a Fabsingle male press 1
1
You have selected Fab Single Male.
If you want to fill your wank bank, Press 1
If you want to reprogramme your imaginary wife, Press 2
If you want advice on reprogramming your real wife, Press 3
If you want to hear stories of how people got their wives into swinging, press 69
69696969696969"
This has made my day lol |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"I'll tell you what, fab needs a FAQ page, where questions like this can be on display with all the subsequent answers there to see
A one stop shop for all your fab needs as it were?
Welcome to the Fabhotline, for all your swinging shenanigans.
If you are a Fabsingle male press 1
1
You have selected Fab Single Male.
If you want to fill your wank bank, Press 1
If you want to reprogramme your imaginary wife, Press 2
If you want advice on reprogramming your real wife, Press 3
If you want to hear stories of how people got their wives into swinging, press 69
69696969696969
This has made my day lol "
brilliant |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I love the idea of seeing my wife being taken by another guy but she isn't into it at all and would probably kill me if I suggested it! Would also love to have another woman join us and try partner swapping! Anyone got any suggestions on how to get her into trying new stuff? "
I told Linda I wanted to watch her with another guy while were in the heat of passion.....just kept asking and she said yes. Never looked back and that was 20 years ago ! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I love the idea of seeing my wife being taken by another guy but she isn't into it at all and would probably kill me if I suggested it! Would also love to have another woman join us and try partner swapping! Anyone got any suggestions on how to get her into trying new stuff? I told Linda I wanted to watch her with another guy while were in the heat of passion.....just kept asking and she said yes. Never looked back and that was 20 years ago !"
Another good idea for me to try! Thank you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"OK I'll be the first to break...
...you don't "get" your partner into anything OP - you talk to them about your fantasies, why the idea of playing with other people appeals, and see if they're equally interested, then you either drop it if they're not interested, or mutually agree to take steps such as setting up a couples profile here, or visiting a club together.
Either way you don't "get" them to do anything
Thank you. I guess it's just going to remain a fantasy for me then!
That it will for sure as long as you don't discuss it with her
It's worth a try! I'm sure she will get over it if she doesn't like the idea! "
I wonder if she'll get over the fact you've been sucking another guys cock and you're looking for more on a sex site? |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"OK I'll be the first to break...
...you don't "get" your partner into anything OP - you talk to them about your fantasies, why the idea of playing with other people appeals, and see if they're equally interested, then you either drop it if they're not interested, or mutually agree to take steps such as setting up a couples profile here, or visiting a club together.
Either way you don't "get" them to do anything
Thank you. I guess it's just going to remain a fantasy for me then!
That it will for sure as long as you don't discuss it with her
It's worth a try! I'm sure she will get over it if she doesn't like the idea!
I wonder if she'll get over the fact you've been sucking another guys cock and you're looking for more on a sex site? "
probably not |
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