FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Could I get some profile advice?
Could I get some profile advice?
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Hey everyone,
I'm looking for some advice on my profile, as a 'single male' it is of course key to standing a chance as it's one of the first impressions people get of you and with the abundance of single male profiles it needs to stand out.
A bit of a introduction, I'm a young male, been into the idea of mingling with the scene since I reached legal age, I have had a few good experiences when I was younger but have lost my knack for it due to confidence issues, I'm now trying to get back into the swing (pardon the pun) of things.
Whilst I'm not 'prim and proper' I do try to carry a bit more maturity and intellect towards my messages or textual postings but I haven't had any responses from anyone I've contacted, I'm not saying 'people should' nor am I 'upset' I haven't had women or couples crawling over me, that's not my only interests, I genuinely want to make some new friends in this corner of my personal life, I'm just wondering if I have setup my profile in a unappealing manner possibly causing any disinterested.
I do have a partner, she is very much aware of this as we have a couples profile (KamiAndHoney if you must know) but she has suggested I make a solo profile and give it a shot on my own as she is unable to keep up with my sex drive due to personal issues of her own, I was hesitant at first but later succumb to the idea of it, I was advised by a local swinger of 10 years to keep my solo ventures 'disconnected' from the fact I am already invested with someone and my partner also agreed it would likely help my case.
I'm prepared to accept defeat and that supply and demand is of course the real reason behind the lack of interest for 'sexual encounters' but that's not the only reason some of us are here, there is also a social side.
All advice is appreciated! 
Thanks in advance! |
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"If you want social, go to a pub. If you want sex go to a nightclub. If you want to pay 40 quid to watch other people having sex, go to a swinging club. "
Thankyou for your advice however I wouldn't be on a swingers site if I just wanted a social, just wanted sex with women (I can't see any of what I'm hoping to get out of swinging with meaningless sex with d*unk women) and wanted to be fleeced by the pricing schemes at clubs (not that I can get to them anyway as I do not drive, as stated on my profile).
If we could please keep it to advice on my profile and not what I do outside of Fab that'd be smashing! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Unsure about your profile text as it's the middle of the night and I'm half asleep.
But I don't think your public pics are very flattering. It's mainly how unkempt the room you're standing in seems to be.  |
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"Unsure about your profile text as it's the middle of the night and I'm half asleep.
But I don't think your public pics are very flattering. It's mainly how unkempt the room you're standing in seems to be. "
Thankyou for the genuine advice, pictures have never been my strong point due to those confidence issues, I tend to want to just get them out the way, I will have to go through and retake them after making some adjustments to the scenery |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Unsure about your profile text as it's the middle of the night and I'm half asleep.
But I don't think your public pics are very flattering. It's mainly how unkempt the room you're standing in seems to be.
Thankyou for the genuine advice, pictures have never been my strong point due to those confidence issues, I tend to want to just get them out the way, I will have to go through and retake them after making some adjustments to the scenery "
Laundry baskets arent sexy. First impressions are everything on here |
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"You describe yourself as ample, you don't look ample at all, more average I'd say."
Thankyou, I'll make that alteration, I personally don't see myself as average but then that's probably my last few years of confidence showing through  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You describe yourself as ample, you don't look ample at all, more average I'd say.
Thankyou, I'll make that alteration, I personally don't see myself as average but then that's probably my last few years of confidence showing through "
Ample would suggest large and overweight to me, you're not. |
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"The biggest problem is that it is...... BORING!
And you have "I trouble"
I this, I that, I the other........
Pay a photographer to take a few flattering proper photos of you.
 "
I don't sell myself very well do I? Haha, I guess that's because I'm not entirely sure what people want to see from single males that doesn't scream "I'm here for a quick shag".
Photos are at the top of my list, I do have some that were taken professionally that make me feel more confident but they're with my partner and I can't imagine anyone wants to see pictures of me and other women? |
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"You describe yourself as ample, you don't look ample at all, more average I'd say.
Thankyou, I'll make that alteration, I personally don't see myself as average but then that's probably my last few years of confidence showing through
Ample would suggest large and overweight to me, you're not."
Just me being too modest of myself then? Thankyou, I haven't had anyone comment on my appearance in a positive manner for a long time |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The biggest problem is that it is...... BORING!
And you have "I trouble"
I this, I that, I the other........
Pay a photographer to take a few flattering proper photos of you.
"
Yup. Every sentence begins with 'I' Imagine how that reads OP.
The headed paragraphs make you sound like you're ritin' a composition for your gcse |
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So for a single male, what would everyone suggest be the key points you'd like to read? From what I read on profiles I'm looking at messaging posting too little and it just looks like you don't care and now I'm guessing in my case, it's too much and people don't bother to read?
The biggest thing that bothers me is I don't want to come across as a typical Fab male who thinks they'll have 20 meets lined up for the first week after they join lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Right, made some big changes already, removed all the headings, dropped alot of my "I" issues and removed any junk that could have otherwise been included elsewhere, its certainly alot shorter "
But you're clearly very attached to the pics of your laundry?
Are you hoping that someone will come and suck your cock, and wash your smalls? |
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"Right, made some big changes already, removed all the headings, dropped alot of my "I" issues and removed any junk that could have otherwise been included elsewhere, its certainly alot shorter
But you're clearly very attached to the pics of your laundry?
Are you hoping that someone will come and suck your cock, and wash your smalls? "
Oh no, they'll be going when I can get some replacement photos sorted, lighting in this flat is terrible 24/7 so nothing I can do about it right now lol. |
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"Defo get rid of the pics
I'm a background watcher and that background would make me just delete and block "
Currently its a choice between what I currently have (or a similar from different angle but still with the whole "bckground" thing), my cock or pictures from a photoshoot with my fiancee, I think the best option till I have some new ones is what I currently have? |
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"If you want social, go to a pub. If you want sex go to a nightclub. If you want to pay 40 quid to watch other people having sex, go to a swinging club.
Thankyou for your advice however I wouldn't be on a swingers site if I just wanted a social, just wanted sex with women (I can't see any of what I'm hoping to get out of swinging with meaningless sex with d*unk women) and wanted to be fleeced by the pricing schemes at clubs (not that I can get to them anyway as I do not drive, as stated on my profile).
If we could please keep it to advice on my profile and not what I do outside of Fab that'd be smashing! "
Sorry mate. Its just that i looked at your profile and your photos and thought "you've got no chance". Good luck finding your meaningful sex on fab  . |
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"Sorry mate. Its just that i looked at your profile and your photos and thought "you've got no chance". Good luck finding your meaningful sex on fab ."
Well that'd have probably been a better way to word it :P just as many others have worded it in that same way, the pictures need work.
Sex is always meaningful, it doesn't matter if you call it a quickie or a orgy, it all means something, but what that something means is different to everyone, me for instance is about trying out new things I was previously too 'closed minded' to try.
Thankyou to everyone for the advice, I'll be sorting out some new pictures as soon as I possible! If anyone thinks or notices any other things that might be off putting about my profile, please let me know, you're more than welcome to PM me |
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"No way would a woman let her flat get that untidy!"
Please tell me what is untidy in the photo? There is two sofas in the left hand side with throws on them that have been un-tucked due to people sitting on the sofa that day and a computer chair on the right the rest is normal items to have on the floor such as a rug and a blanket for the cat lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The pics are dreadful OP. Just not sexy at all. You might want to have another look at your profile text too. I'd lose the daft headings. And that status!! Grammar needs work |
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"Couldn't you ask your wife to take some sexy pics of you?
Sally
We're not married yet but that is a good idea! I have no idea why I hadn't thought of it lol thankyou "
Why not make a couples profile? |
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"The pics are dreadful OP. Just not sexy at all. You might want to have another look at your profile text too. I'd lose the daft headings. And that status!! Grammar needs work"
I've switched to the classic 'selfie' for now as it's very apparent the pics aren't the best.
Haven't been to sleep yet so will redo the wording of the profile text later |
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"I was pissed at the time. (Hangs head in shame).
Haha, no worries :P I've made the same mistake overlooking OP's on various forums or media all the time "
I'm the same with profiles, write what you like, but I'm not going to read more than one sentence if the photos are crap or unflattering. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hope you don't mind me being honest. When I clicked on your profile I thought you looked nice in the main pic but can't see your other pics without being a friend. Why not add a few more flattering face and body shots that are public?
What would put me off is the smoker and you being in a relationship but obviously smokers and people who don't mind will not be fussed.
The biggest obstacle for me is they idea of "collecting someone" fair enough you don't drive but sounds like I would be a taxi service. You cannot often accomodate so I am guessing you want to meet up with people perhaps socially first then out in public doing naughty things. Why can't you fork out for a taxi or get public transport? Or at least offer petrol money or drinks to the person picking you up. Sorry petrol is not cheap and also say if someone picked you up, took you to their home, when they are lying in bed after having had naughty fun with you the thought of putting clothes on late at night and dropping you back hmmm to me is a no no. Save up your pennies and make your own way its not other peoples problem that you don't drive. sorry my view |
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"I'm the same with profiles, write what you like, but I'm not going to read more than one sentence if the photos are crap or unflattering."
I think post today's discussion here, I'm going to sit down with Honey and rewrite the couples account too, despite having had plenty of interest it's mainly just been people fishing for pictures, etc and the same content on our profile being repeatedly asked in PM so no point having it all there too I guess |
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"Hope you don't mind me being honest"
Not at all, I can't make changes to improve my profile without honest opinions, there was other pictures up but I have just hidden them till I replace them.
I do 100% need to reword that last part, it was a late night addition that I never fully thought about before adding lol.
Thankyou for your advice on the matter |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hope you don't mind me being honest
Not at all, I can't make changes to improve my profile without honest opinions, there was other pictures up but I have just hidden them till I replace them.
I do 100% need to reword that last part, it was a late night addition that I never fully thought about before adding lol.
Thankyou for your advice on the matter "
^ so any thoughts on my advice or are you just gonna ignore it lol? You asked for peoples advice I typed out a long message so how about an acknowledment, stop asking people to pick you up they are not taxi companies. Also why is your new profile pic showing you with a woman, I thought people advised you to stick with it being singles. Nothing worse than a guy showing off with his conquests, hate profiles of guys with escorts sucking them off -as Shania Twain said "that don't impress me much" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hope you don't mind me being honest
Not at all, I can't make changes to improve my profile without honest opinions, there was other pictures up but I have just hidden them till I replace them.
I do 100% need to reword that last part, it was a late night addition that I never fully thought about before adding lol.
Thankyou for your advice on the matter
^ so any thoughts on my advice or are you just gonna ignore it lol? You asked for peoples advice I typed out a long message so how about an acknowledment, stop asking people to pick you up they are not taxi companies. Also why is your new profile pic showing you with a woman, I thought people advised you to stick with it being singles. Nothing worse than a guy showing off with his conquests, hate profiles of guys with escorts sucking them off -as Shania Twain said "that don't impress me much""
That song is on continual loop in my head. |
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"^ so any thoughts on my advice or are you just gonna ignore it lol? You asked for peoples advice I typed out a long message so how about an acknowledment, stop asking people to pick you up they are not taxi companies. Also why is your new profile pic showing you with a woman, I thought people advised you to stick with it being singles. Nothing worse than a guy showing off with his conquests, hate profiles of guys with escorts sucking them off -as Shania Twain said "that don't impress me much""
Of course, you'll have to forgive me for not taking much more action than changing it to not say 'I'll need collecting', I haven't the brain capacity at this hour, hence why I have undecisively changed my profile pictures to the ones that currently I feel most confident in, yes its with my fiancee but it'll only come out in conversation before meets anyway, I don't intend on keeping her a secret, I would have usually been asleep around 6am as I generally work nights, taking the day shift today, I'll put my head to everything sufficiently once have rested, nothing worse than being half asleep putting all the wrong things down a second time, right? |
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