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Introducing my partner
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I've been dabbleing in swinging a while not all that sucseccfully but I'd like to introduce my wife into the scean but I don't know how would be best? We we have sex we talk dirty about being with another couple and we get massively turnt on but how do I suggest makeing it happen with out makeing it obvious I've dabbled a bit with out her knowing. |
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OP if you want to introduce your wife to swinging I would suggest you come clean with her.
How do you think she would react if she found out by accident that you played without her before she started swinging with you? This is a definite possibility as you may bump into former playmates. I'm sure she would prefer you were honest with her than find out from someone else.
If you are to swing as a couple trust, honesty and good communication are essential. |
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"I've been dabbleing in swinging a while not all that sucseccfully but I'd like to introduce my wife into the scean but I don't know how would be best? We we have sex we talk dirty about being with another couple and we get massively turnt on but how do I suggest makeing it happen with out makeing it obvious I've dabbled a bit with out her knowing. "
delete your profile and have the honest conversation with her. Does she know you're bi? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I've been dabbleing in swinging a while not all that sucseccfully but I'd like to introduce my wife into the scean but I don't know how would be best? We we have sex we talk dirty about being with another couple and we get massively turnt on but how do I suggest makeing it happen with out makeing it obvious I've dabbled a bit with out her knowing.
delete your profile and have the honest conversation with her. Does she know you're bi?"
. Well we've talked about it but she thaught I was jokeing |
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"I've been dabbleing in swinging a while not all that sucseccfully but I'd like to introduce my wife into the scean but I don't know how would be best? We we have sex we talk dirty about being with another couple and we get massively turnt on but how do I suggest makeing it happen with out makeing it obvious I've dabbled a bit with out her knowing.
delete your profile and have the honest conversation with her. Does she know you're bi?. Well we've talked about it but she thaught I was jokeing"
Look at it this way if you go into a coffee shop and tell the barista you want a cappuccino when you really want an Americano you're not going to get what you want. Don't present your partner with an either or situation but have an open discussion in which you both genuinely listen and try to understand what the other wants. But honestly if neither of you say what you want you will never get it so really you don't have much to lose.
Delete your profile though, go in to this with the intention of being completely honest, it won't work otherwise. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Having "dabbled" how would your wife react if you bumped into someone you've already met whilst dabbling? The swinging world is small and discretion is expected in the supermarket but saying hi to a previous meet in a club may well be expected? |
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By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago
Newcastle upon Tyne |
The same advice we give to men and women you never introduce your partner to swinging. Obviously one of you has to bring it up but if she is not interested then you have to leave it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Being honest from the start is the most important thing. If you just want to go out there and fuck other people for the experience then just say that to your partner and see if she understands. I wouldn't recommend being shady about it because it will bring an inevitable shit storm of drama but that's your choice.  |
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Speak speak and speak again if she responds to your own fun time fantasies whikst you make love tell her you love her(which I hope is true).
Then tell her you woukd love too See her being sexy with someone else. Tell her you would be happy with just her having fun and you being there. Then if she likes the idea ( she will need reassured you dont want her to do this to then give you the perceived moral right to shag around) move it forward next time she is out dare her to get chatted up. If she does make sure she knows you love her even more. Speak and speak again, reassure her thst seeing her get chased was a huge turn on and you love her just the same. Then speak again and the possibly mention making a profile together. And I mean together let her lead and if your lucky enough to get her responding to messages etc speak reassure and reassure again. It took me 20 years to get this far. And I woukd say most girls when they discover they can have extra and are as valued and loved by their partner will eventually take the plunge and enjoy it. The problem in getting as far as actually having fun usually rests with the male half simply not having the ability to be open genuine and trustworthy. This is a bigger step for lady's both mentally and physically. It takes them time to be able to separate making love and just having fun sex. It's their mindset. But with love and reassurance you could both have a fantastic time and enhance your marriage. But as almost all have said you need to be honest and speak |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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So then OP, you are already on here and she doesn't know ??
It'll come back and bit you n the arse eventually, so best be up fron t with her now and face the music, then see if she's interested
BTW you are a sly sneaky man and I really abhore people like you
Bob |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"I've been dabbleing in swinging a while not all that sucseccfully but I'd like to introduce my wife into the scean but I don't know how would be best? We we have sex we talk dirty about being with another couple and we get massively turnt on but how do I suggest makeing it happen with out makeing it obvious I've dabbled a bit with out her knowing. "
i'd be much more inclined to help and give advice if you hadn't already made the cold, calulated decision to meet people without your wife knowing, and now want to get her involved!
because i'm sure any conversation you have isn't starting "oh hunny, i have been meeting people from a swinging already (just to make sure they aren't meanies!!!! it was all for your protection!!!! honest!!!) |
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"So then OP, you are already on here and she doesn't know ??
It'll come back and bit you n the arse eventually, so best be up fron t with her now and face the music, then see if she's interested
BTW you are a sly sneaky man and I really abhore people like you
Bob"
This
And single guys wonder why they have problems meeting on here. It's because of people like this |
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My wife was quite shocked when first told her, she didn't really want to go, but with things like this people have pre conceptions of what they're like etc etc,we have involved others in our relationship but never went to clubs looking as such.
Now she loves going, dresses amazing, cares for how she looks. To us theyre relaxed sophisticated clubs where you have the option to play on site, they increase our libido and expand our boundaries.
Thing you should worry about is her finding out and putting a stop to it.
You will probably have to calm down a bit and go with her at her level etc.and do things together.
Talk with her. |
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"I've been dabbleing in swinging a while not all that sucseccfully but I'd like to introduce my wife into the scean but I don't know how would be best? We we have sex we talk dirty about being with another couple and we get massively turnt on but how do I suggest makeing it happen with out makeing it obvious I've dabbled a bit with out her knowing. "
If I was your wife and I read your profile...I'd be mortified. Unless you have told her your fetish for sucking cock and feeling nylon against your cheek!
My partner and I talked about swinging 3sums moresums for about 12 months before "we" went to a club together. I know my fella didn't go out before that without me knowing because we have trust. He wanted me to get back my sexy spark I lost after having kids. It worked. But it worked because we worked at what we wanted talk talk talk is all I can advise. And delete the profile before getting on here as a couple. |
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By *robertsCouple
over a year ago
Leicestershire |
"I've been dabbleing in swinging a while not all that sucseccfully but I'd like to introduce my wife into the scean but I don't know how would be best? We we have sex we talk dirty about being with another couple and we get massively turnt on but how do I suggest makeing it happen with out makeing it obvious I've dabbled a bit with out her knowing. "
We were in a similar situation, I'd fantasise of my wife with guys until I finally asked her if she would be interested but I got a straight NO .
We'd play around and have some banter with it for years until one day she said she would give it a go as a one-off meet .
The one off has now turned into regular meets with black guys and we're having great fun and socially we've met some great guys too .
Like many have said here though you've got to be honest with your wife and call it time on your existing profile, delete it and have an honest chat with her about your feelings and see what her thoughts are .
Ducking and diving here is just not worth your marriage, you never know she may have an interest and if she does take small steps it worked for us .
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When a man or woman is on here and asks advice about getting their non-playing partner to join can we all agree one thing please.
If you want to write that they should show their single profile to their partner, with the obvious implication you sincerely want to cause emotional pain and potentially the breakup of their relationship, then can we all agree to put a simply "Cliche No. 1" please.
This suggestion is used even more than "Russian roulette" in bareback threads and is so very very tired.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Unfortunately he posted this 2 days ago and hasn't replied so I guess he hasn't had the time or dared to log on case his other half catches him on a swinging site. Think he best come clean and say, I'm sure if the shoe was on the other foot she wouldn't be very happy with him.  |
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