FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Struggling to meet.
Struggling to meet.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hey! I've been on her for a few months now and really struggling to meet people. I am genuine and struggling to show people that I am!
I've been sending messages like this 'Hey! I'm sure you've had a million messages for guys asking you the same thing, but I've got to ask...... would you like to meet up for a drink or to play? Hope to hear back James'
Can you tell me what I'm doing wrong please?
Thanks for your time!
James |
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Hi op
Asking people if the want to meet or play in a first message prob won't help.
The recipient doesnt know you so cant say yes at that point.
Best advice i can give,is read a profile fully and make sure you onclude something in the message to indicate you"ve read it.
Try and message those who requirements you meey and get tk know them first
Miss |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hey! I've been on her for a few months now and really struggling to meet people. I am genuine and struggling to show people that I am!
I've been sending messages like this 'Hey! I'm sure you've had a million messages for guys asking you the same thing, but I've got to ask...... would you like to meet up for a drink or to play? Hope to hear back James'
Can you tell me what I'm doing wrong please?
Thanks for your time!
James "
your not alone in struggling to meet others on here just give it time who knows |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi op
Asking people if the want to meet or play in a first message prob won't help.
The recipient doesnt know you so cant say yes at that point.
Best advice i can give,is read a profile fully and make sure you onclude something in the message to indicate you"ve read it.
Try and message those who requirements you meey and get tk know them first
Miss"
you right in say that but when you do send those who we think are right for us men they do not respond so how does it work then  |
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"Hi op
Asking people if the want to meet or play in a first message prob won't help.
The recipient doesnt know you so cant say yes at that point.
Best advice i can give,is read a profile fully and make sure you onclude something in the message to indicate you"ve read it.
Try and message those who requirements you meey and get tk know them first
Miss you right in say that but when you do send those who we think are right for us men they do not respond so how does it work then "
then I would assume there is no attraction and move on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We always tend to reply to single men who put effort into a message, showing they have read our profile and ask things about us, big NO NO for grace is if the first message contains anything suggestive or willy pics as some ladies like there brain stimulated first  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I always try to include something talking about something in their profile, preferably non sexual and always make sure the title of the message relates to their profile in some way too, as it needs to stand out as single women get loads of messages. I also always attach face and body pics so they can make their mind up. I pretty much always get a reply, even if it's a polite no thanks. |
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"Hey! I've been on her for a few months now and really struggling to meet people. I am genuine and struggling to show people that I am!
I've been sending messages like this 'Hey! I'm sure you've had a million messages for guys asking you the same thing, but I've got to ask...... would you like to meet up for a drink or to play? Hope to hear back James'
Can you tell me what I'm doing wrong please?
Thanks for your time!
James "
Go to clubs and socials. Easiest way |
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By *orum TrollWoman
over a year ago
•+• Access Denied •+• |
loads of guys are struggling with the same thing. you're probably not doing anything that much wrong, the internet is just like that and makes experiences a lot shallower than real life.
it's the school holidays so that won't help as less people are able to meet. |
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Address the couples by their names or initials or even their site name. It is more likely to get a response.
Always include face pics. Be realistic about your chances, if they look out of your league then they are. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hey! I've been on her for a few months now and really struggling to meet people. I am genuine and struggling to show people that I am!
I've been sending messages like this 'Hey! I'm sure you've had a million messages for guys asking you the same thing, but I've got to ask...... would you like to meet up for a drink or to play? Hope to hear back James'
Can you tell me what I'm doing wrong please?
Thanks for your time!
James "
You've answered your own question as to why you are struggling. They already had a million other guys asking them if they would like to meet. So no you're not doing anything wrong, you're just not standard out above a million other guys.
Mrs |
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"Address the couples by their names or initials or even their site name. It is more likely to get a response.
Always include face pics. Be realistic about your chances, if they look out of your league then they are."
Haha. If they look out your league they are. I'm sorry that's bs PMSL. How do you know what their type is before he even knows. Scrap that comment mate. Go for who you like. If they say no then they say no. What's the worst that could happen? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't think I've ever sent the same message twice. Each message is carefully constructed to emphasise my understanding of a woman/couples preferences and show a little humour as well as what I bring to the table. I don't get heaps of replies however I do speak to a few people almost daily. That being said I would ensure your mail shows it's purely written to their profile and not generic. Also make sure your own bio supports your statements, if your bio says women between say 25-30 and you aren't into mmf for example. Then messaging a couple in their fourties probably wont get you a response. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you expect to be knee deep in vag after a few months then your showing inexperience. Something youll need here. The other thing youll need is patience. And a LOT of it. I call it the the curse of the single male. Hit the chat rooms. Your local area room. And get to know the regulars. Dont jump in with "oh your gorgeous" type lines. Just say hi. This is a social networking site. To be a successful single guy here takes a imperial ton of patience. Networking. Getting to know people and politeness. And above all originality.there are literally thousands of single guys here who just wank on cam thinking chat is basically omegle. Thousands who think any single lady or cple just want to fuck anything at the drop of a hat. It dont work that way. Its like forming a proper romantic relationship. It takes effort and time. And money sometimes too. Clubs are expensive for single blokes. This is to out the genuine from the wank o cam guys.
In short. Welcome to being a single guy on fab. Its just the way it is.
Hard fucking slog. But ultimately worth it.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hey! I've been on her for a few months now and really struggling to meet people. I am genuine and struggling to show people that I am!
I've been sending messages like this 'Hey! I'm sure you've had a million messages for guys asking you the same thing, but I've got to ask...... would you like to meet up for a drink or to play? Hope to hear back James'
Can you tell me what I'm doing wrong please?
Thanks for your time!
James "
An approach like that will almost certainly be deleted on sight! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thank you for all of your comments! I will and have been using all your advice and to be fair it's making a difference! Thank you and wish everyone good luck! Xx |
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"Try clubs and socials"
thing is, like OP, I don't get any replies most of the time, So why would a social be any different? I could be left in the corner on my own all night becuase no one is interested? |
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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago
harrow |
"Try clubs and socials
thing is, like OP, I don't get any replies most of the time, So why would a social be any different? I could be left in the corner on my own all night becuase no one is interested? "
I disagree, even when I am not in mood for chatting I still try , say hello, smile, no1 is going to fuck you if you have a face like a slapped arse.
Also if it is a social, spend time looking at people and interests of others going on topics other than sex. It does help |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Go to a social, talk to people, don't aim to play right away, get to know people. Attend a club and get the open minded and ready not to play; coming off as someone who just hunts isn't exactly end endearing.
Swinging is as much about networking as it is about fun itself.
People who just want a fuck and go are actually quite rare; meet people and be respectful.
I'm new here bu in this site but in real life I've seen that social interaction goes a long way.
Best of luck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Try clubs and socials
thing is, like OP, I don't get any replies most of the time, So why would a social be any different? I could be left in the corner on my own all night becuase no one is interested?
I disagree, even when I am not in mood for chatting I still try , say hello, smile, no1 is going to fuck you if you have a face like a slapped arse.
Also if it is a social, spend time looking at people and interests of others going on topics other than sex. It does help "
Exactly! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Try clubs and socials
thing is, like OP, I don't get any replies most of the time, So why would a social be any different? I could be left in the corner on my own all night becuase no one is interested?
I disagree, even when I am not in mood for chatting I still try , say hello, smile, no1 is going to fuck you if you have a face like a slapped arse.
Also if it is a social, spend time looking at people and interests of others going on topics other than sex. It does help
Exactly! "
It's easy to see why some people don't get meets! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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James I would delete a message like that. Your talking about other messages instead about yourself or what's said in there profile, I would think your the sort of man to say sorry a lot an say sorry after you've spunked too. Big turn off. Lol
Look on meets an events. Try group socials. To get you in the swing of things  |
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"Hey! I've been on her for a few months now and really struggling to meet people. I am genuine and struggling to show people that I am!
I've been sending messages like this 'Hey! I'm sure you've had a million messages for guys asking you the same thing, but I've got to ask...... would you like to meet up for a drink or to play? Hope to hear back James'
Can you tell me what I'm doing wrong please?
Thanks for your time!
James "
I think you have to have more than one message in your arsenal. That one may work occasionally, but it needs to match the profile.
A lot of messages I receive are very like yours, and I'm sure many of them are from lovely people, but to stand out in the 100 messages a day you need to say something different, pique my interest, make a funny comment, ask me something interesting... I dunno... its difficult.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Try not to send the same message to everyone we are all different so you need taylor your messages to the individual you want to meet and try adding to your profile. "
 This |
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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago
harrow |
"Try clubs and socials
thing is, like OP, I don't get any replies most of the time, So why would a social be any different? I could be left in the corner on my own all night becuase no one is interested?
I disagree, even when I am not in mood for chatting I still try , say hello, smile, no1 is going to fuck you if you have a face like a slapped arse.
Also if it is a social, spend time looking at people and interests of others going on topics other than sex. It does help
Exactly!
It's easy to see why some people don't get meets! "
Well it doesn't always work   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hey! I've been on her for a few months now and really struggling to meet people. I am genuine and struggling to show people that I am!
I've been sending messages like this 'Hey! I'm sure you've had a million messages for guys asking you the same thing, but I've got to ask...... would you like to meet up for a drink or to play? Hope to hear back James'
Can you tell me what I'm doing wrong please?
Thanks for your time!
James
I think you have to have more than one message in your arsenal. That one may work occasionally, but it needs to match the profile.
A lot of messages I receive are very like yours, and I'm sure many of them are from lovely people, but to stand out in the 100 messages a day you need to say something different, pique my interest, make a funny comment, ask me something interesting... I dunno... its difficult...."
...for example "May I fuck you, bitch?"
I'm sure no one has ever come up with this opener
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Address the couples by their names or initials or even their site name. It is more likely to get a response.
Always include face pics. Be realistic about your chances, if they look out of your league then they are."
If a couple, better to address the man or both, but not the lady only, if you chose to follow the advice above. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When we get messages, even on the rare occasion when we allow blokes to get in touch, our effort to reply is virtually zero if they didn't take the time and effort to read our profile.
Their message reflects that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Many a time I've looked at a profile and pictures (mainly just cocks) and thought no not for me. I recently went to a tea party and was well and truly wrong about not liking them. Socials are about networking and having fun. Hopefully enabling a hook up at a later date! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Address the couples by their names or initials or even their site name. It is more likely to get a response.
Always include face pics. Be realistic about your chances, if they look out of your league then they are."
Nevermind that face pic nonsense. They wouldn't do it so why should you. If every guy stopped sending face pics at the drop of a hat, believe me the women and couples in here would soon stop getting ideas above their stations |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"James I would delete a message like that. Your talking about other messages instead about yourself or what's said in there profile, I would think your the sort of man to say sorry a lot an say sorry after you've spunked too. Big turn off. Lol
Look on meets an events. Try group socials. To get you in the swing of things "
Haha 'say sorry after you've spunked'...fantastic poor bastard |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why on earth would you ask if someone wanted to play in your first message, some people really don't have any social skills  "
Large portions of the human race are clueless |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In 4 years i had 1 meeting and one drinks meeting so dont think is all that mate.
The odds on the lottery are better than on here."
Many on here are the 3 T's, all they can do is, "Talk The Talk. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Always include a face pic, and show that you've read their profile without sucking up to them. People who're a bit cheeky often catch my eye, no-one wants to fuck Mr Boring (not saying that's you OP, I mean in general) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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One thing I've found out through talking to plenty of couples or single females is that a lot of men come off way too aggressive.
Even if a woman is looking for a dominant man, that doesn't mean that's our first message should be, "you're my slut" or "you wanna be my slave"
You don't come off as assertive. You come off as a douche!! |
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"If you expect to be knee deep in vag after a few months then your showing inexperience. Something youll need here. The other thing youll need is patience. And a LOT of it. I call it the the curse of the single male. Hit the chat rooms. Your local area room. And get to know the regulars. Dont jump in with "oh your gorgeous" type lines. Just say hi. This is a social networking site. To be a successful single guy here takes a imperial ton of patience. Networking. Getting to know people and politeness. And above all originality.there are literally thousands of single guys here who just wank on cam thinking chat is basically omegle. Thousands who think any single lady or cple just want to fuck anything at the drop of a hat. It dont work that way. Its like forming a proper romantic relationship. It takes effort and time. And money sometimes too. Clubs are expensive for single blokes. This is to out the genuine from the wank o cam guys.
In short. Welcome to being a single guy on fab. Its just the way it is.
Hard fucking slog. But ultimately worth it.
"
This is good advice OP. |
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"Address the couples by their names or initials or even their site name. It is more likely to get a response.
Always include face pics. Be realistic about your chances, if they look out of your league then they are.
Haha. If they look out your league they are. I'm sorry that's bs PMSL. How do you know what their type is before he even knows. Scrap that comment mate. Go for who you like. If they say no then they say no. What's the worst that could happen?"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Mate it ain't just the guys on here who are time wasters there are a lot of female and couples who are two single guys do get the brunt of things on here so don't take it personally keep trying law of averages says it'll end up good |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Mate it ain't just the guys on here who are time wasters there are a lot of female and couples who are two single guys do get the brunt of things on here so don't take it personally keep trying law of averages says it'll end up good"
We've found many men and couples to be timewasters. We've found the majority of women to be timewasters and not one has met. |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"Mate it ain't just the guys on here who are time wasters there are a lot of female and couples who are two single guys do get the brunt of things on here so don't take it personally keep trying law of averages says it'll end up good
We've found many men and couples to be timewasters. We've found the majority of women to be timewasters and not one has met."
noticed that with a lot of them recently |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Mate it ain't just the guys on here who are time wasters there are a lot of female and couples who are two single guys do get the brunt of things on here so don't take it personally keep trying law of averages says it'll end up good
We've found many men and couples to be timewasters. We've found the majority of women to be timewasters and not one has
met.noticed that with a lot of them recently"
Damn true love |
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