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By *unseakers OP Couple
over a year ago
Tropical SW & frozen North |
So like many couples have just watched shades of grey haha and while it doesn't do much as a film it has Intregued.....
How do you find a fit sub lad or couple who are willing to introduce a couple to the world of Dom??? We of course would be the dominant ones but would like to meet someone with experience to help develop out skills. A switch guy would be ideal |
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Fifty shades isn't an accurate portrayal of the D/S scene, in fact it is so far from it it's almost laughable.
If you do have an interest in exploring I would suggest joining the fetish site, read as much as you can about the lifestyle and go to your local munch (fetish social) to meet and talk to others who have an interest in the scene. |
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Why don't you both switch with each other to start with. The trust will already be there,and you know how each other will respond. Develop how you both want to play,then look for a sub to join you. |
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"Why don't you both switch with each other to start with. The trust will already be there,and you know how each other will respond. Develop how you both want to play,then look for a sub to join you."
Yes this would be a good idea if you both new to it see what works for you first and get to know your boundaries a little with each other first before you bring others in. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Slightly off topic but I tried to read 50 shades and could not get past page 10 as it was so badly written. However for many women as it was a bestseller it validated to them that their desire for submission and bondage was not wrong or abnormal. To that extent it had positive effect. There are plenty who can give the negatives
OP as you are both individuals so are subs. The world of kink is very wide and submission is not always about sex. Also as pointed out why should someone submit to strangers. Others on this thread have given advice on meeting people possibly you should be clearer as to what you intend to do with the lad. Good luck. |
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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago
Bristol |
"Why do people feel the need to stray into a lecture or go off at a tangent - it's the meet people threads not the philosophical discussion section "
Well, it is the support & advice forum, and based on what you've written people probably felt you needed some advice a little different to what you requested.
If you want to advertise a meet without people chipping in, you are better off putting it in the Meets folder. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you both want to venture into the bdsm scene try joining fetlife and go along to a social munch here in norwich and other venues in norfolk. Good fun, there are some lovely people out there. Good luck. |
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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
"Why do people feel the need to stray into a lecture or go off at a tangent - it's the meet people threads not the philosophical discussion section "
because its probably deeper than you know just now, and, those with more experience will know that and pass the knowledge on..it comes with experience
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We of course would be the dominant ones..."
In my view you cannot really start as the Dom. You gain an appreciation for limits when you start as the sub and that is the more important aspect of bdsm play. |
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By *unseakers OP Couple
over a year ago
Tropical SW & frozen North |
Well perhaps we would start as observers with a bdsm couple showing demonstrating the way.......
With a sub guy though we would work it out and have ideas just looking for someone with a degree of patience and think a switch guy would be more fun for that |
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I've been exploring, due to my ex leading me into the scene.
I've joined that website and its not designed for hook-ups and random shags. It's more forums, relationship and community. (there are forums for personal ads) my experience is that there's more focus on communication and earned respect.
Single males who have seen 50 shades and think that they are doms because they are pumped from the gym, are given short shrift.
Likewise subs who jump in to a D/s relationship with the first guy to message, saying " call me Sir"
However genuine people (you're a forumite here, so good start) can get advice and meet people socially at munches to talk about stuff, (not just kink)
I'd also suggest a book "screw the roses, send me the thorns". It's a very good introduction, although my copy is somewhat dated (talking about dial-up BBS's, pre Internet) but the concept behind D/s hasn't changed. |
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By *ocks99Man
over a year ago
Reading |
"Fifty shades isn't an accurate portrayal of the D/S scene, in fact it is so far from it it's almost laughable.
If you do have an interest in exploring I would suggest joining the fetish site, read as much as you can about the lifestyle and go to your local munch (fetish social) to meet and talk to others who have an interest in the scene. "
^^^ This. Ultimately get to clubs (but network via Munches) Most players in clubs will be happy to have you watch, and will answer questions, much as swinger clubs do. |
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"So like many couples have just watched shades of grey haha and while it doesn't do much as a film it has Intregued.....
How do you find a fit sub lad or couple who are willing to introduce a couple to the world of Dom??? We of course would be the dominant ones but would like to meet someone with experience to help develop out skills. A switch guy would be ideal "
I can think of many subs who would describe what you're looking for as someone who would top from the bottom.
That's not easy.
You'll get really strong responses when you mention Fifty Shades of Shite because to many BDSMers it's about abuse, not BDSM. If you don't get why some BDSMers think it strays so far from informed consent, google is your friend.
Good luck. |
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