FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > I am always popular in real life but just not on FAB... Whats the problem with me??
I am always popular in real life but just not on FAB... Whats the problem with me??
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Stick to real life? Maybe you don't need Fab. "
In real life you are only ever interacting with a small group of people at any given time... If you are in a pub then chances are there will be one or two in your vicinity who are open to having a chat, maybe see where it goes. Your chances of being successful are not too bad at all.
So imagine fab to be a pub... But it's the size of England. Literally you walk in and you can't see the bar because it's so huge. In front of you there is a sea of all the fabbers... Women, men, tvs, ts, couples etc etc... All on a night out, all after similar things to a normal night out. Some are after sex, some are social, some are not after men... Etc etc. You'd think you are lucky right. Surely there's more chance of being successful.
But wait.
You also happen to be surrounded by men who are just like you... Thousands of them... Some don't stand a chance but the vast majority of at least equal to you and a lot are considered better by some of your target audience. Your odds of success are now drastically reduced. As it's also the size of England you can't chat to them all...so what do you do. Make fab your favorite bar, go regularly and enjoy the place. You are surrounded by peole who also love the place... You never know, on one of your visits you may just bump into someone who wants to take things further,  |
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"Stick to real life? Maybe you don't need Fab.
In real life you are only ever interacting with a small group of people at any given time... If you are in a pub then chances are there will be one or two in your vicinity who are open to having a chat, maybe see where it goes. Your chances of being successful are not too bad at all.
So imagine fab to be a pub... But it's the size of England. Literally you walk in and you can't see the bar because it's so huge. In front of you there is a sea of all the fabbers... Women, men, tvs, ts, couples etc etc... All on a night out, all after similar things to a normal night out. Some are after sex, some are social, some are not after men... Etc etc. You'd think you are lucky right. Surely there's more chance of being successful.
But wait.
You also happen to be surrounded by men who are just like you... Thousands of them... Some don't stand a chance but the vast majority of at least equal to you and a lot are considered better by some of your target audience. Your odds of success are now drastically reduced. As it's also the size of England you can't chat to them all...so what do you do. Make fab your favorite bar, go regularly and enjoy the place. You are surrounded by peole who also love the place... You never know, on one of your visits you may just bump into someone who wants to take things further, "
Couldn't have put it better myself! |
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"Stick to real life? Maybe you don't need Fab.
In real life you are only ever interacting with a small group of people at any given time... If you are in a pub then chances are there will be one or two in your vicinity who are open to having a chat, maybe see where it goes. Your chances of being successful are not too bad at all.
So imagine fab to be a pub... But it's the size of England. Literally you walk in and you can't see the bar because it's so huge. In front of you there is a sea of all the fabbers... Women, men, tvs, ts, couples etc etc... All on a night out, all after similar things to a normal night out. Some are after sex, some are social, some are not after men... Etc etc. You'd think you are lucky right. Surely there's more chance of being successful.
But wait.
You also happen to be surrounded by men who are just like you... Thousands of them... Some don't stand a chance but the vast majority of at least equal to you and a lot are considered better by some of your target audience. Your odds of success are now drastically reduced. As it's also the size of England you can't chat to them all...so what do you do. Make fab your favorite bar, go regularly and enjoy the place. You are surrounded by peole who also love the place... You never know, on one of your visits you may just bump into someone who wants to take things further, "
This is the best description of fab I've ever read! Spot on! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In addition to the points above, you stand a much greater chance if you develop your profile more. Allow your character and personality to come out more  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In addition to the points above, you stand a much greater chance if you develop your profile more. Allow your character and personality to come out more "
Ah true... Just also checked out your profile. It doesn't stand out and you have one line of text. Pictures are ok(ish) and only one dick pick. Most fabbers will pass your profile right by though pal |
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For single guys fab is like the premier league. Twenty clubs want to win it but in 99 seasons out of 100 only the likes of man city or Chelsea have any real chance. True sometimes teams like Leicester will strike lucky but it's very unlikely.
So, as a single guy, you have to ask yourself are you Chelsea or are you Watford or Swansea? |
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Agreed with all the previous comments.
It's not just about looks, but how you come across in messages and how you present yourself in your profile. Sparse profile = no effort. Most women on here are out to have fun for themselves, and will pick and choose whom are more likely to fulfil that.
I would also suggest you change your status, as it's against the site rules to name other members, especially if you're trying to get around filters!
J |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Crap profile tbh xx
Needs more detail, some flirting, some facts, your interests, what you want, what you expect and you need to tantalise us females with what you've written
S xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Maybe you need to go to the clubs and move around the UK .... Hull is there a lot of swingers there .? Norfolk there is not a lot really to other parts of the country. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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One line of text in your profile isn't going to help. You don't need a five page essay but at least attempt to stimulate the reader!
Add some detail about your likes/dislikes. It shows you are discerning and not an easy fuck! If you like women with natural curls (like miss lightson999  ), brown eyes or a nice smile put that on your profile. In my experience women prefer that than if you put 'gives a great blow job'. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For single guys fab is like the premier league. Twenty clubs want to win it but in 99 seasons out of 100 only the likes of man city or Chelsea have any real chance. True sometimes teams like Leicester will strike lucky but it's very unlikely.
So, as a single guy, you have to ask yourself are you Chelsea or are you Watford or Swansea? "
I'm Longford FC  Seriously though (uh hghm) I don't think there's a single rating system with all the buff guys at the top and the wimps at the bottom. There are just a range of women looking for something specific and a bunch of guys who either fit that to some degree or don't |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As an Accrington Stanley, go with the good advice.
Beef up your profile a bit and be prepared to wait. Take the pressure off yourself and just go with the flow.
As a result of embracing the forums, I'm now chatting with some lovely people. Not likely to even meet them, never mind play, but that doesn't matter as the banter makes it all worthwhile.
The meets will come a lot easier when you don't sound needy or desperate. You'll click with the right people when the time ia right.
This isn't instashag after all!
Good luck op! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thank you very much for taking the time to reply like you have.. Very thorough and kind of you.. Much appreciated.. Hope everyone reads my reply here as I'm very appreciative of you all but don't have time to reply and thank you all individually - Hats off to you all - Many thanks xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Am the same everyone in work my friends and clubs am in like me lol. But think yourself lucky you don't have a Cindi problem  I get asked from all over the UK but every one here seems scared to death of me lol |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"See subject xx if you are so popular IRL wat you doingon here ?"
Looking to meet like minded people who want to get up to kink...you can't easily get that in real World whereas everyone here nearly is after giving new experiences..x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"For single guys fab is like the premier league. Twenty clubs want to win it but in 99 seasons out of 100 only the likes of man city or Chelsea have any real chance. True sometimes teams like Leicester will strike lucky but it's very unlikely.
So, as a single guy, you have to ask yourself are you Chelsea or are you Watford or Swansea? "
Hahah yes!! In that case - I am probably Hull City with a decent striker up front and a manager who is far to good to be at the club..haha |
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Don't bother with fab try socials and clubs , we get approached by lots of guys some sound great lots awful . At clubs we both get to speak to them and we can usually tell by chatting which ones wife likes to have fun with and which ones we don't , we even talked to guys on here where wife has said to me no way , but then have bumped into them at club , and have gone on to play with them , party's clubs and socials tends to be better than trying to arrange private meets |
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"For single guys fab is like the premier league. Twenty clubs want to win it but in 99 seasons out of 100 only the likes of man city or Chelsea have any real chance. True sometimes teams like Leicester will strike lucky but it's very unlikely.
So, as a single guy, you have to ask yourself are you Chelsea or are you Watford or Swansea?
I'm Longford FC Seriously though (uh hghm) I don't think there's a single rating system with all the buff guys at the top and the wimps at the bottom. There are just a range of women looking for something specific and a bunch of guys who either fit that to some degree or don't "
To an extent, but there are a number of qualities that will put you in the Chelsea category. Of the top of my head I would say these would include
A toned body
Full head of hair
Aged thirty to forty
Not Asian (sadly)
A profile text that makes you sound human and not a borderline sex pest
No disembodied cock pics
Face pic with your first message
A first message without crudeness
Non pushiness
Confidence but not arrogance
Ability to hold a conversation on non sexual topics
Obviously, some of those you can do something about and some you can't, but if you have the lot, you will pick up the PL trophy most years (or get lots of meets) |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Don't bother with fab try socials and clubs , we get approached by lots of guys some sound great lots awful . At clubs we both get to speak to them and we can usually tell by chatting which ones wife likes to have fun with and which ones we don't , we even talked to guys on here where wife has said to me no way , but then have bumped into them at club , and have gone on to play with them , party's clubs and socials tends to be better than trying to arrange private meets "
That's very helpful, I will take your advice - Many thanks.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You can't compare fab to real life! !...on here it's a numbers game in real life it's a 50 /50 split. ..some girls /women need to remember that and not treat guys on here badly! !. . |
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By *ieman300Man
over a year ago
Best Greggs in Cheshire East |
"Stick to real life? Maybe you don't need Fab.
In real life you are only ever interacting with a small group of people at any given time... If you are in a pub then chances are there will be one or two in your vicinity who are open to having a chat, maybe see where it goes. Your chances of being successful are not too bad at all.
So imagine fab to be a pub... But it's the size of England. Literally you walk in and you can't see the bar because it's so huge. In front of you there is a sea of all the fabbers... Women, men, tvs, ts, couples etc etc... All on a night out, all after similar things to a normal night out. Some are after sex, some are social, some are not after men... Etc etc. You'd think you are lucky right. Surely there's more chance of being successful.
But wait.
You also happen to be surrounded by men who are just like you... Thousands of them... Some don't stand a chance but the vast majority of at least equal to you and a lot are considered better by some of your target audience. Your odds of success are now drastically reduced. As it's also the size of England you can't chat to them all...so what do you do. Make fab your favorite bar, go regularly and enjoy the place. You are surrounded by peole who also love the place... You never know, on one of your visits you may just bump into someone who wants to take things further, "
That is truly beautiful! |
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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago
Fabville |
"In addition to the points above, you stand a much greater chance if you develop your profile more. Allow your character and personality to come out more "
There really is absolutely nothing on your profile that makes it stand out. That makes it different from hundreds of others here...  |
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"Stick to real life? Maybe you don't need Fab. "
This.
Just relax. Fabs is for fun. Don't take it so seriously. There's a lot of people here who have the reverse of your problem which is not as good as people would like to make out.;-) |
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Your main pic looks like a hotel room. I would change that, for starters. Guys and T-Girls love hotel room meets with random passing guys and T's. Women (from my experience of doing married straight guy with wife's permission to play, a few years ago) will see a hotel room and assume that (a) you're cheating and (b) you are just looking for a notch on your bedpost rather than for a regular thing. I used to get quite a lot of abuse from women assuming that I was cheating, back in the day. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In real life you get to engage with a person face to face. Let your personality show. On here you are amongst a lot of men. Some make a huge effort with their profiles to stand out from the crowd and tend to be more successful because of that. You are not in that category, unfortunately OP. Your profile is just the basic, run of the mill type. Most women will look at your profile before opening your message. It is not enticing enough, I'm afraid. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I know the feeling very well
What feeling?
I can think of a reason why people don't reply to you - they have reservations about a straight guy who has met a bloke for sex. "
Haha. Banged to rights |
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By *rSinfulMan
over a year ago
mysteryville |
Just too many men and not enough women. I used to get really down about this and fab kinda destroyed my confidence as I pretty well get zero attention or replies to messages on here.
So now I tend to use this for the chat room which is more fun. Still not many meets through 2 in 10 years of being on here which totally sucks as I'd like more fun out of life. Looks like it's all work no play for me lol. Just need more women to join. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Fab isn't real life, or even close... dynamics here are completely reversed.
I've not done the club thing yet, but even at socials it's different.. never before have I felt so much like a piece of meat! Lol
It's alright though, whether on here or face to face, it's still just about having a bit of craic and seeing if you get on.. forget the why you're here and remember we're all just people and it becomes significantly better |
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"I know the feeling very well
What feeling?
I can think of a reason why people don't reply to you - they have reservations about a straight guy who has met a bloke for sex. "
Verification has now disappeared.
I find it odd people joining a site like this to expand their sexual experiences, yet are not honest about what they're looking for. How does that work?
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