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Question for couples!
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Serious question
My man wants too meet women on his own! I've given him permission but I'm very reluctant too accept the fact he wants too play on his own, considering we do this together!
Does anyone else get doubts ? Or is it just me being protective and stupid? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"What is the bace for this insecurity?
If you can work out what is driving that, you will find the answer. "
I know it's silly but I just think she'll be better than me and they'll both want more from it : ( |
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But I'm guessing he's fine with you having other guys if your not fine with him having ladies then you have a problem that needs to be sorted you don't want to have arguments or even split over something that's ment to be fun :-  |
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Hello Op
Mrs mischief was the same as you, i never pressured her into allowing me to go on my own.She said i feel selfish , i always have the men etc...i said dont worry it doesnt matter nor does bother me and it honestly didnt.However past couple of months she has been saying you go on your own have fun enjoy your night.Now it might be due to family reasons it is easier for one of us to go but she is turned on by the idea.No idea why or how she changed the way she felt dont even think she can answer why but she wasnt worried anymore.Now most of the time i just go to socalise have fun and have laugh meet friends and have a good night.
Just note you are not the only one to feel or have felt the way you do  |
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"Serious question
My man wants too meet women on his own! I've given him permission but I'm very reluctant too accept the fact he wants too play on his own, considering we do this together!
Does anyone else get doubts ? Or is it just me being protective and stupid? "
No you aren't being stupid and what's wrong with protecting your relationship?
The first rule for us is if one of us isn't happy with something, neither of us do it. This isn't about doing what one person wants at the expense of the other. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Serious question
My man wants too meet women on his own! I've given him permission but I'm very reluctant too accept the fact he wants too play on his own, considering we do this together!
Does anyone else get doubts ? Or is it just me being protective and stupid? "
I am exactly the same. So will be no help to alleviate any doubts your having I am afraid.
We used to meet seperately then for what ever reason I hated it. I mean full on feel awful. Thankfully its not something that comes up now but I do feel I deny mr things he craves as he is very intimate with ladies 121 and gives them his undivided attention ( which i think for me is the issue)
If you have doubts talk.. talk some more... and maybe try to pinpoint the why.
I wish I could overcome my insecurities over this.. but even thinking about it makes my blood run cold. Where as it used to excite me x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It would depend on whether snow white wanted seperate meets
If she did we would discuss why
If both were happy with the reason we would agree to both being free to meet seperately
Neither one does anything the other cant and neither does anything that we havent discussed what ot means for both
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If you meet alone then he should be able to as well. If it's ok for you to do it then it's just double standards to not allow him to do the same. "
I don't meet alone , although he would let me |
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The dynamic between every couple is different. Whether both, one or neither meet alone is for them to decide between the two of them. But this casual hobby should be fun and if it causes problems in a relationship its just not worth it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Serious question
My man wants too meet women on his own! I've given him permission but I'm very reluctant too accept the fact he wants too play on his own, considering we do this together!
Does anyone else get doubts ? Or is it just me being protective and stupid? "
I was the same with my ex FWB, he wanted me to meet other men but I was jealous and insecure of him meeting other females. I think the answer is men and women are different, hence viewing this differently XXX |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Serious question
My man wants too meet women on his own! I've given him permission but I'm very reluctant too accept the fact he wants too play on his own, considering we do this together!
Does anyone else get doubts ? Or is it just me being protective and stupid? I am exactly the same. So will be no help to alleviate any doubts your having I am afraid.
We used to meet seperately then for what ever reason I hated it. I mean full on feel awful. Thankfully its not something that comes up now but I do feel I deny mr things he craves as he is very intimate with ladies 121 and gives them his undivided attention ( which i think for me is the issue)
If you have doubts talk.. talk some more... and maybe try to pinpoint the why.
I wish I could overcome my insecurities over this.. but even thinking about it makes my blood run cold. Where as it used to excite me x "
Thank you .. I think I'm a little insecure but I don't need too be x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Thank you .. I think I'm a little insecure but I don't need too be x "
I dont either. Doesnt stop me being so though. Its the fact if im not their. That there will be no limits to how close they get. Ie it will be like what we are like. ( except with comdoms) and I want to be the only woman that has that level of intimacy with Mr. |
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"Serious question
My man wants too meet women on his own! I've given him permission but I'm very reluctant too accept the fact he wants too play on his own, considering we do this together!
Does anyone else get doubts ? Or is it just me being protective and stupid? I am exactly the same. So will be no help to alleviate any doubts your having I am afraid.
We used to meet seperately then for what ever reason I hated it. I mean full on feel awful. Thankfully its not something that comes up now but I do feel I deny mr things he craves as he is very intimate with ladies 121 and gives them his undivided attention ( which i think for me is the issue)
If you have doubts talk.. talk some more... and maybe try to pinpoint the why.
I wish I could overcome my insecurities over this.. but even thinking about it makes my blood run cold. Where as it used to excite me x
Thank you .. I think I'm a little insecure but I don't need too be x "
Meeting alone is not mandatory and if you have doubts it isn't something you necessarily have to overcome. It's easy on here for the out of the ordinary to seem normal, meeting alone is not something everyone does. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you meet alone then he should be able to as well. If it's ok for you to do it then it's just double standards to not allow him to do the same. "
I disagree, every couple and what drives them to be on here is different and it's down to the individuals. As part of a couple you should be on here having agreed what your boundaries are, and if they aren't the same it's up to the individuals to decide what is more important to them.
If one half enjoys watching or knowing their partner is with someone else but it's not a reciprocal fantasy you're on a heading to disaster to take the approach that it should be "fair"
For some couples one partners kick will come from what their partner is doing rather than what they get to do. And for the record G does play alone sometimes, but only after much discussion and some time on the scene establishing what we were both comfortable with.
OP you need to think about what is right for the pair of you. Over time you might become more comfortable with the idea. If you aren't sure you need to really talk it through between you. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
Thank you .. I think I'm a little insecure but I don't need too be x I dont either. Doesnt stop me being so though. Its the fact if im not their. That there will be no limits to how close they get. Ie it will be like what we are like. ( except with comdoms) and I want to be the only woman that has that level of intimacy with Mr. "
I think that is the issue, that we are so intimate and loving, that I don't want him to share that with another woman! |
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"
Thank you .. I think I'm a little insecure but I don't need too be x I dont either. Doesnt stop me being so though. Its the fact if im not their. That there will be no limits to how close they get. Ie it will be like what we are like. ( except with comdoms) and I want to be the only woman that has that level of intimacy with Mr. "
That's not insecurity Cali. If you want your relationship to be special to you two it's just the way you want it.
If Mr N wanted to meet alone I would say no. I'm the least insecure person you could meet but having sex with each other with no one else present is exclusive to us. He feels the same. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Thank you .. I think I'm a little insecure but I don't need too be x I dont either. Doesnt stop me being so though. Its the fact if im not their. That there will be no limits to how close they get. Ie it will be like what we are like. ( except with comdoms) and I want to be the only woman that has that level of intimacy with Mr.
I think that is the issue, that we are so intimate and loving, that I don't want him to share that with another woman! "
do you like to see him being intimate though ? See I love watching as long as I do not feel left out.... and meeting seperate i feel not only left out but excluded, Rejected and that I'm not good enough. And I know it is silly.. but well x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thanks for the advice
Think we just need too sit and talk about it , as some of you say everyone is different
Thank you
Xx "
and remember that at some point your niggles may turn into wants. I Used to love us both meeting separately... now i don't x maybe again in the future I may do again. But I always talk to Mr and let him know how and why I am feeling like I am x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Similar situation here. I so want to be ok with it but every time it looks like something might happen I get terrible anxiety, stomach ache, nausea etc whereas he is totally fine with me seeing guys and gets turned on by it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Similar situation here. I so want to be ok with it but every time it looks like something might happen I get terrible anxiety, stomach ache, nausea etc whereas he is totally fine with me seeing guys and gets turned on by it."
omg you get the physical effects too. Thought that was just me x
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"What is the bace for this insecurity?
If you can work out what is driving that, you will find the answer.
I know it's silly but I just think she'll be better than me and they'll both want more from it : ( "
Is your husband a reasonably intelligent, usually rational person? If so, he won't and your fears are unfounded. If he's an idiot then you are right to worry. |
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"The point of being a couple should be about playing as a couple and seeing each other enjoy it "
Half true. We prefer to play together but both have busy schedules and travel a lot so sometimes it's easier to play seperately, usually with people we've already met as a couple though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Thanks op for an interesting thread. We're both negotiating playing separately too and it has definite echoes of all the discussions that took place before we started swinging. This makes me feel couples really need to start from scratch when looking to play separately. Together we've fucked ourselves silly with others, either in same or separate rooms. But, like others have mentioned on this thread, I (mr) would like to find more intimacy. The journey towards that, however, is very much baby steps, lots of communication, and rules (even for a couple like us who have no rules normally).
It's way more complicated and you have to go real slow but the end goal is worth it. It feels like it's so much easier to make friends with benefits once there's intimacy. Without that it's only ever "people we know, who we fuck". It's very easy for women to make friends with benefits as many swinging men (like me) are happy for their partner to meet separately and develop such friendships, especially with guys they've also met and like. Women, on the other hand, often don't want to meet the partners of men they're having sex with, which doesn't help. And many female members of swinging couples aren't as keen for their man to swing separately.
For us the end goal is worth it... Mrs with her male friends with benefits and me with my female friends with benefits... slowly coming together into a network of friendly sexy people. It's a nice dream but we think we can only get there through separate play |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've told him I'm not happy about it but he always lets me have guys, just feel a bit selfish "
when he has his meet invite me round to keep you company |
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"Serious question
My man wants too meet women on his own! I've given him permission but I'm very reluctant too accept the fact he wants too play on his own, considering we do this together!
Does anyone else get doubts ? Or is it just me being protective and stupid? "
My view personally is that I don't have the right to say what Anita can or can't do. So for me, the question is: Could you deal with it, or would it damage your relationship? If you feel that you couldn't deal with it, then you need to be clear that you feel that way.
Cal x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've told him I'm not happy about it but he always lets me have guys, just feel a bit selfish do you meet guys on your own? If you do then it's only fair "
i dont really agree with that.. but dont meet alone simply because I wouldn't be happy with Mr doing so
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I've told him I'm not happy about it but he always lets me have guys, just feel a bit selfish do you meet guys on your own? If you do then it's only fair "
No I don't meet guys on my own although he would like me too !! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Serious question
My man wants too meet women on his own! I've given him permission but I'm very reluctant too accept the fact he wants too play on his own, considering we do this together!
Does anyone else get doubts ? Or is it just me being protective and stupid? "
No you're not stupid. It doesn't matter what everyone else does, only ever do what makes you both happy. If one of you isn't happy then is it worth losing your relationship over?
If he insists on doing something that you're not really happy with then he clearly doesn't give a shit about you. |
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Jack meets couples on his own ,as he enjoys group fun.He has my permission to meet women alone too ,as i fully trust him.He however ,says it doesnt feel right for him to meet a single woman.
i think if you are uncomfortable with it,he should respect yr wishes tbh .Hope you sort it out.
Missx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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End of day it's your relationship you should put first and swinging second so if him going solo on meets makes you nervous then u need to look at your relationship and see if there's something that doesn't feel right .like all solo meets wether swinging or cheating there's always that element it might lead to something more |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Serious question
My man wants too meet women on his own! I've given him permission but I'm very reluctant too accept the fact he wants too play on his own, considering we do this together!
Does anyone else get doubts ? Or is it just me being protective and stupid? "
=====================================
He wants a polyamorous relationship which isn't such a bad thing if you are both very strong in your own relationship. You're a very attractive woman, so would he be ok with you reciprocally meeting men on your own. It'd be interesting to find out. I suppose the question is .... do you want to meet men 121? If so, then your existing couple relationship could be extended to you both having 121 relationships, and thus fully enjoying Fab. Go for it xxx |
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"Serious question
My man wants too meet women on his own! I've given him permission but I'm very reluctant too accept the fact he wants too play on his own, considering we do this together!
Does anyone else get doubts ? Or is it just me being protective and stupid? "
If you're not happy say!
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By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago
Newcastle upon Tyne |
"Serious question
My man wants too meet women on his own! I've given him permission but I'm very reluctant too accept the fact he wants too play on his own, considering we do this together!
Does anyone else get doubts ? Or is it just me being protective and stupid? "
Think you both need to talk to one another. You have to set boundaries and if one of you is not happy then the other has to respect that.
We agreed before we started swinging that this was a shared experience and there would be no lone meets. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Serious question
My man wants too meet women on his own! I've given him permission but I'm very reluctant too accept the fact he wants too play on his own, considering we do this together!
Does anyone else get doubts ? Or is it just me being protective and stupid?
=====================================
He wants a polyamorous relationship which isn't such a bad thing if you are both very strong in your own relationship. You're a very attractive woman, so would he be ok with you reciprocally meeting men on your own. It'd be interesting to find out. I suppose the question is .... do you want to meet men 121? If so, then your existing couple relationship could be extended to you both having 121 relationships, and thus fully enjoying Fab. Go for it xxx"
but she is not happy to go for it x so wouldn't be fun for her. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Can I just say that my partner is the most loving man I've ever met! He does loads of things for me on here as far as meets are concerned.
Thanks for all the comments and advice but I think we have worked out what we both want
X |
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"Can I just say that my partner is the most loving man I've ever met! He does loads of things for me on here as far as meets are concerned.
Thanks for all the comments and advice but I think we have worked out what we both want
X "
And that is what it's all about! Good luck and enjoy...your way |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As the F of this couple I would have the same feelings. Swinging is something we do and enjoy together. I always want to be in his line of sight so I can catch his eye. For us, that's what works, but for others they are happy to meet separately. If you are not comfortable with it then you have to voice it or it will build up such resentment. Swinging has to be mutually beneficial and fun. When it stops being fun and makes you feel anything negative then it is time to sit down and talk honestly. Please don't be afraid to say what you feel or you will really end up getting hurt. |
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I've told him I'm not happy about it but he always lets me have guys, just feel a bit selfish.
You just answer your own question. l think you are just a bit selfish but it's perfectly normal to feel a little bit jealous though. |
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Serious question
My man wants too meet women on his own! I've given him permission but I'm very reluctant too accept the fact he wants too play on his own, considering we do this together!
Does anyone else get doubts ? Or is it just me being protective and stupid?
No you aren't being stupid and what's wrong with protecting your relationship?
The first rule for us is if one of us isn't happy with something, neither of us do it. This isn't about doing what one person wants at the expense of the other.
You just contradict yourself right there. If she is allowed to meet solo so should he. |
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"Serious question
My man wants too meet women on his own! I've given him permission but I'm very reluctant too accept the fact he wants too play on his own, considering we do this together!
Does anyone else get doubts ? Or is it just me being protective and stupid?
No you aren't being stupid and what's wrong with protecting your relationship?
The first rule for us is if one of us isn't happy with something, neither of us do it. This isn't about doing what one person wants at the expense of the other.
You just contradict yourself right there. If she is allowed to meet solo so should he."
No, you don't understand what the OP said or the other posters comment.
The OP said although her husband would let her, she doesn't want to meet alone, i.e she isn't happy with solo meets for either of them.
The other poster means both parties have to be happy with the whole thing or it doesn't happen. |
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We will only play together, both happy to go to clubs on our own but only to socialise - if we find someone we're interested in then we play next time when we are together - so long as we all click. As others have said, we are all different. This is how it works for us  |
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We play together and happy for her to play alone as she has her own account and full permission to play alone.witch she has . But never came across any females who have wanted to just meet me on my own. Both happy and works for us |
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"If you meet alone then he should be able to as well. If it's ok for you to do it then it's just double standards to not allow him to do the same.
I don't meet alone , although he would let me "
You should help each other realise their fantasies but within the confines of comfort and the restrictions of pre- agreed boundaries.
Maybe meet a woman or couple together? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I HATE couples .. The man is always controlling, always selfish. "
dont agree with that in most cases either. Met more couples where only the woman plays than anything else.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I HATE couples .. The man is always controlling, always selfish. "
hahahahaha what aload of bullcrap i cant get a word in edgeways with my mrs hahahahahahahahahaha |
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Perhaps you've just met the wrong couples OP 
sorry that is wrong, a crazy generalisation and unfair on loads of great people.