FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Depressing

Depressing

By *tomCom OP Man over a year ago

Wellingborough

Hi everyone, as you know I have been on here for a long time now. So I have been about so to speak.. lol

Anyways, I have noticed that over the last year of so that the scene has become very depressing for single males. A lot of happy go lucky guys are becoming rejected and asking themselves "What is wrong with me" more and more.

I am not saying that this is anyone fault, I am just bring it up as it seems to be starting to get a lot worse.

Andy

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By *abioMan over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

I don't think it is...

I think that we have a lot more single guys on now thinking that it is the quick way to an easy shag with minimal effort

so when they find out it isn't then are when you are beginning to see more complaints.....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Ive met a few single guys who I still keep in touch with but who have left this site as they found a lot of users to be rude and ignorant.

I have also met some single guys who are still on this site and doing well

And theirs the single men who just seem to be here to get a cyber thrill and put woman off single men when they waste time.

Life is like a box of chocolates and so is internet sites

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Some men I have noticed think (assume) the women or couples r easy and will go with anything.

Only a small percentage are friendly none pushy and doesn't assume the above

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By *im53Man over a year ago

Boldon

lol i love the pushy arrogant guys

it makes it much easier for the ladies to spot the good guys

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm inclined to agree with Fabio. I wish I didn't as I always bloody do, and it would be nice for a change not to (I await a football supporter's thread for that)

I'm a single guy and I think fab is the badger's nadgers. I'm having a whale of a time meeting lots of interesting people and I find nothing whatsoever stands in the way of me having as much filthy fun as I can, (even working some of the most ludicrous hours ever) as I respect others, am not a total fuckwit, and have a good idea of whats mutually enjoyable.

There's simply more blokes on the site therefore more whingers. Do you honestly think the men that are doing well on this site would bother starting a thread that said "I love fab and I'm getting lots"? No. So the only ones you hear from are the whinging masses. Hence why it seems like there's more of the buggers.

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By *hoenixcouplexxCouple over a year ago

Leicestershire

"I don't think it is...

I think that we have a lot more single guys on now thinking that it is the quick way to an easy shag with minimal effort

so when they find out it isn't then are when you are beginning to see more complaints....."

Nail on the head.

We think there is a big difference between being out for a quick shag and wanting to genuinely be a part of the scene and all that goes with that.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Agreed. The difference between the genuine swingers and the shag hunters.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman over a year ago

evesham

"Hi everyone, as you know I have been on here for a long time now. So I have been about so to speak.. lol

I am not saying that this is anyone fault, I am just bring it up as it seems to be starting to get a lot worse.

Andy"

come talk to me - i'm nice to single men

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Hi everyone, as you know I have been on here for a long time now. So I have been about so to speak.. lol

I am not saying that this is anyone fault, I am just bring it up as it seems to be starting to get a lot worse.

Andy

come talk to me - i'm nice to single men

I know what she does to single fems

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple over a year ago

hexham

" I'm inclined to agree with Fabio. I wish I didn't as I always bloody do, and it would be nice for a change not to (I await a supporter's thread for that)

Yup, i think fab should have a big warning...you will get a fuck quicker in the bigg market on a saturday night, but it wont be better

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By *tomCom OP Man over a year ago

Wellingborough

Let me get this back to the main point I am trying to discuss. I am not just talking about males that are posting in the forums or the ones that you see moaning. I am also talking about males, I know or people I know know etc.

Lots of males start using the site full of the joys of the world and are just looking for some fun.

A lot of them (and I know not all) know it is going to be hard using the site and finding people. What gets the feeling dejected and ugly are the comments and messages they get back from other users. Or they read a profile, think that they are suitable so message that female or couple, just to find in a couple of days they have now, for no reason they can see, have been blocked by the user.

Yes (as you can see from some of the replies to this post) there are some guys that have lots of fun and have no issues with the site. What I am saying that I have noticed a increasing number of single male users that are using the site and just getting more and more depressed by the day using it.

Andy

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

But doesnt it all come down to the fact that there are 1000's of single guys, fewer couples, even fewer who will meet single blokes and even fewer single fems. So guys get frustrated

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm actually not even bothered about sex right now. It seems hard enough just getting someone to go for a drink. I think women are just lazy :p

I drive so they wouldn't have to walk. I'd buy drinks so they wouldn't have to pay. etc etc

Think some would rather stay at home and play Farmville on their laptops!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm actually not even bothered about sex right now. It seems hard enough just getting someone to go for a drink. I think women are just lazy :p

I drive so they wouldn't have to walk. I'd buy drinks so they wouldn't have to pay. etc etc

Think some would rather stay at home and play Farmville on their laptops!"

Well have you seen the size of the cocks on there

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yeah and there are definitely a few characters on Farmville hung like a horse! I mean, they are horses so it's kind of expected

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

somepeople see a meet for a drink as a promise to play

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By *abioMan over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"Let me get this back to the main point I am trying to discuss. I am not just talking about males that are posting in the forums or the ones that you see moaning. I am also talking about males, I know or people I know know etc.

Lots of males start using the site full of the joys of the world and are just looking for some fun.

Andy "

but as was say... it also comes with people expectations as to what they are going to get out of the site...... and if people have trouble communicating with others out there in "vanilladom" why would you think it would be any more easier here... or why would people think that showing a cock shot... or sending a three word message "fancy a shag" would the key to unlocking everything......

yes a lot of guys come here with the joys of spring.... but they also come in with expectations which are greater than the reality would every be....

as i said... easy shag with minimal effort,

and as for people blocking, well maybe they should take that as a "no thank you".... after all, we are all adults, and if people get that upset over a block or a no thank you... then to be honest I would wonder if swinging was for them.....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don't think that women are lazy necessarily but it's just the sheer numbers of guys messaging single ladies and ladies having the time to meet them even for a quick drink in a local pub. Just based on my experience from having had a single profile on here. Ms

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yeah i've seen my wife's inbox. Seems to be a case on these sites that men have to do all the messaging and women are busy sifting through their inbox. Too busy to message back.

If inboxes become overwhelming then women should maybe ignore the flood of messages and do their own searching and icebreakers. The only problem is obviously looking out for their replies in amongst the other crap but it might be a start.

Also i'm guessing some women might get multiple messages from the same guy and so have to be deleting over and over and over. The guy might not get a subtle hint and figure it just got accidentally deleted because you were busy. Just copy and paste 'no thanks' or something like that to all that you're not interested in and then that should stop messages from those guys. Hopefully.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think swingings like anything, you get out of it when you put into it, i have seen guys with more verifications that a lot of women, maybe because they make more of an effort than the guys who dont get meets

If you make the effort and attend socials, get to know people and attend a few parties, clubs etc to be honest if fab shut down tomorrow it shouldnt make that bigger difference as a lot have a close circle of frends and get most meets via people they aready know, word of mouth and party invites

I know a few guys who pop up at places i go to and i see them quite regular at, house meets, parties etc, they seem to do ok and i dont think they fiind it depressing

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm actually not even bothered about sex right now. It seems hard enough just getting someone to go for a drink. I think women are just lazy :p

I drive so they wouldn't have to walk. I'd buy drinks so they wouldn't have to pay. etc etc

Think some would rather stay at home and play Farmville on their laptops!"

or maybe they are already out with someone they wanted to meet

just a thought

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yeah probably and I think it's maybe that single men are not that in demand due to numbers. I have better luck on other sites but as easy as it is to just leave and go elsewhere I guess it's one of those determination things to not give up.

That and people really love Farmville.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"That and people really love Farmville."

what the fooks farmville?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Don't pretend you've never heard of it

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

really i had'nt

just been to ask my daughter

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Basically anyone who has facebook will probably have heard of it. It's unavoidable because even those of us that don't actually play it still get requests to help them with their farm.

There are numerous other similar games as well.

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By *uicyJoWoman over a year ago

northampton

From a womans perspective I would have to agree actually...there does seem to be a lot of arrogance coming out, whether it be from a couple , lady or gent. I have always thought of this site as having something for everyone but get more of a 'how dare you message me' vibe which is always going to make the sender feel pretty crap. This is my personal experience and that of some lovely guys I have met.

My advice is to persevere and try to find the genuinely nice people on here...thats exactly what I do. But even in this kind of domain should it be resonable to accept rudeness? we are all adults after all.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"From a womans perspective I would have to agree actually...there does seem to be a lot of arrogance coming out, whether it be from a couple , lady or gent. I have always thought of this site as having something for everyone but get more of a 'how dare you message me' vibe which is always going to make the sender feel pretty crap. This is my personal experience and that of some lovely guys I have met.

My advice is to persevere and try to find the genuinely nice people on here...thats exactly

what I do. But even in this kind of domain should it be resonable to accept rudeness? we are all adults after all."

Well said. This is a brilliant site but I have also noticed quite a nasty edge to it creeping in, some of the replies I have had to basic introduction messages have been shocking, and these are from well verified so called 'genuine' swingers

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By *incs.cpl1Couple over a year ago

Holton le Clay near Cleethorpes

We read time and time again about how single guys are so hard done by, rubish!! We meet single guys and almost every couple we have met with or chatted to also meet single guys, whether that be through a swinging site or at swinging clubs (also look at peoples profiles and see how many couples have met with single guys). Most couples we have talked to have met with more single guys than couples. For decent gen single guys (not married etc) then meeting couples shouldnt be any harder for them, than a couple trying to find another couple. One thing to remember though there are alot more guys on site than couples.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Replying to a message with a ' no thanks' tends to result in a reply asking why not, trying to negotiate or persuade me into meeting or a load of abuse so I can see why some people prefer to not reply. Like dude says it can be easy to miss the guys you want to meet in the inbox swamp.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Maybe they can program in a simple click and send response thing with the following options for women to speed things up.

'Sorry you're not my type'

'Sorry I don't find you attractive'

'Thanks but i'm off the market right now'

'Other' - in which case a brief comment could highlight maybe it's something in the profile etc.

The first 3 responses probably cover well over 90% of the reasons so helps women reply with speed and for guys to get a straight up reason and know not to message the same person again...and again. Obviously you probably still can't help the negotiators but give a monkey a keyboard and they'll type like there's no tomorrow.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Maybe they can program in a simple click and send response thing with the following options for women to speed things up.

'Sorry you're not my type'

'Sorry I don't find you attractive'

'Thanks but i'm off the market right now'

'Other' - in which case a brief comment could highlight maybe it's something in the profile etc.

I'm on a site that doesn't allow messages from people outwith your preferences and sends an automated message.

The site doesn't have a forum but diaries. Guess what most of the diaries are about? Men complaining about the audacity of women having filters to exclude them and being too lazy/up their own arses for not sending personal thanks but no thanks messages!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Maybe they can program in a simple click and send response thing with the following options for women to speed things up.

'Sorry you're not my type'

'Sorry I don't find you attractive'

'Thanks but i'm off the market right now'

'Other' - in which case a brief comment could highlight maybe it's something in the profile etc.

Deleting the message should give them a sign that you are not interested.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

yes i always get the nutty one

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It should do but seeing as women get 100s of messages some might see it that the woman was maybe tired after going through numerous mails and just decided to delete the rest en masse.

Hence you end up with another one from the same person. Women seem to have this thing where they believe ALL men can take subtle hints when you know full well there are ones that will keep messaging until you choose to block them or delete.

Actually there's an idea. As well as 'delete' maybe have a 'delete and block further messages' option. Problem solved!

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By *ezebelWoman over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest

"Actually there's an idea. As well as 'delete' maybe have a 'delete and block further messages' option. Problem solved!

There is. Theres a delete option and a block option. Using both gives you the 'delete and block further messages' option

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

So why do women just 'delete' then complain when the guy messages them again when they had the option to block them?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Why do men complain that they've been blocked when 'all I did was send her/them a message'?

Some people complain just because they can.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yeah but if they are blocked at least it won't be in the inbox of the blocker.

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By *obbytupperMan over a year ago

Menston near Ilkley

I would just like to say, that without the advantage of youth on my side and not being able to travel far due to not driving. I'm having a whale of a time, lots of regular friends and meeting new ones all the time.

Perhaps it comes down to how you treat people, both in life and in messages.

I do however feel that some people think the site owes them a shag.

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By *tomCom OP Man over a year ago

Wellingborough

What gets on my nerves as well are the women saying about all the timewasters on the site. Where are lot of the guys I know do not even get replies.

So I am wondering if these timewasters are a few guys that all of the ladies and couples seem to go after?

I suppose the answer is stop going after the same sort of people and just enjoy the variety the site has to offer

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