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still chat in a club with no play
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hi all never been to a club and just have a quick question.
If a couple or single male/female came up to us in a club we get on great but their not our type, but we would still like to chat.
all im asking is just because you dont want to play for whatever reason do peeps in clubs still chat , or do you only talk to the people who you will play with, but this seems unfair.
sorry if none of that made sense its much harder trying to put it down in words  |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
absolutely... i would just gas with anyone in a club, i wouldn't always make the assumption that just because they are chatting they want to play... i always play everything by ear... I am very much a people person  |
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Another chit chat person here, can't stand the ones that just walk around looking for something to stand and gawp at.
Being friendly costs nothing and all too often you hear of people complaining that people visit but no-one talked to them. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I once talked the hind legs off a donkey .
So talking and getting a chat is something we can definitely do just didn't want to give others the wrong impression by chatting to them . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've been to a club twice. The first time I did nothing but chat. For the four hours I was in the club, no one played with anyone, but still had a right good gossip all night in the bar area.
The second time was quite the opposite. I only had about an hour free so chatted briefly, which led to great sex, followed by another brief chat with others who were keen on sex but I simply didn't have the time that day. I put it down to sod's law really! That being said both the sex and the chats were awesome, and its always nice to have the best of both worlds! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"absolutely... i would just gas with anyone in a club, i wouldn't always make the assumption that just because they are chatting they want to play... i always play everything by ear... I am very much a people person "
You're just a flirt and a naughty boy! 
Distracting the bar staff eeesh I duno   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi all never been to a club and just have a quick question.
If a couple or single male/female came up to us in a club we get on great but their not our type, but we would still like to chat.
all im asking is just because you dont want to play for whatever reason do peeps in clubs still chat , or do you only talk to the people who you will play with, but this seems unfair.
sorry if none of that made sense its much harder trying to put it down in words "
its always a really hard one that
I will talk to anyone wether i find them attractive or not but if someone comes over and chats and you respond a lot will think its because your interested and ive had a few rude comments from guys ive said no thanks to after i have chatted to them, saying stuff like 'what do you come here for then?' or 'so why have you been talking to me if your not interested' etc
A lot will take your responce in chatting as a interest
But i just cant be the typee of person who wnt talk to people im not interested in |
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We have our first club visit on the 24th September at Vanilla Alternative. We'll chat to anyone, doesn't mean we'll necessarily want to play with them. If they can't handle us saying no then thats their issue not ours.
Genrally though do people not naturally gravitate towards those that each part may want to play with?
Either way we're having fun! lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I will talk to people but if I'm not attracted I won't be as flirty.
"
thats it!
you can talk to anyone, but if your not into them then you are not going to be "flirting" with them..
Only problem is thou - u have to hope people understand body language, and get the point you are not interested but happy to talk.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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we have been to clubs in the past and have chatted not played clubs are great for meeting other people even as in socialising never feel pressurred to do any thing you dont want to do |
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"Hi all never been to a club and just have a quick question.
If a couple or single male/female came up to us in a club we get on great but their not our type, but we would still like to chat.
all im asking is just because you dont want to play for whatever reason do peeps in clubs still chat , or do you only talk to the people who you will play with, but this seems unfair.
sorry if none of that made sense its much harder trying to put it down in words "
It's a valid question, the first time i went to a club i thought i wud get jumped the minute i walked through the door .Infact many are there for the social side as much as for the sex. We wud rather have a night chatting in our local club than go down the pub. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I will talk to people but if I'm not attracted I won't be as flirty.
thats it!
you can talk to anyone, but if your not into them then you are not going to be "flirting" with them..
Only problem is thou - u have to hope people understand body language, and get the point you are not interested but happy to talk.
"
most people know a brusg off |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi all never been to a club and just have a quick question.
If a couple or single male/female came up to us in a club we get on great but their not our type, but we would still like to chat.
all im asking is just because you dont want to play for whatever reason do peeps in clubs still chat , or do you only talk to the people who you will play with, but this seems unfair.
sorry if none of that made sense its much harder trying to put it down in words
It's a valid question, the first time i went to a club i thought i wud get jumped the minute i walked through the door .Infact many are there for the social side as much as for the sex. We wud rather have a night chatting in our local club than go down the pub. "
i like to be able to do as a please and not getting grief if i meanting something taboo or smutty
at chams i feel at home |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Agree with above ... We have a much better night in the club than we do in local pubs.
everyone wants to chat and have a laugh and you rarely see people staggering around blind d*unk (But it happens lol)
But back to the topic ... We always chat to people we would never consider playing with .. Why? .. We are human, Polite and like to get to know people and have a laugh |
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By *ojo1964Man
over a year ago
Wolverhampton |
Well on Friday I went to Atlantis in Stoke, and I must admitt I was pleasently surprised. I don't know what I was excepted, I supposed a mass orgy but no,everybody was dancing, drinking and talking. I learnt more about swinging by just talking about it. Would I go again.....Yes I would, soon I hope. |
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We have loads of friends we talk to on the Scene all the time who we havent played with.
Just because someone isnt our type or us theirs, doesnt mean we cant be warm friendly and social to them.
This is the best way to be in any club on The Scene. If someone then asks to play, a polite 'not right now thanks' is all that is needed if you don't wish to indulge. |
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"Well on Friday I went to Atlantis in Stoke, and I must admitt I was pleasantly surprised. I don't know what I was excepted, I supposed a mass orgy but no,everybody was dancing, drinking and talking. I learnt more about swinging by just talking about it. Would I go again.....Yes I would, soon I hope."
If we went to clubs thats the sort of the place that we would really love...a 'normal' club atmosphere but with friendly people instead of pissheads and druggies who all want to glass each other..all to the tune of 100db rave music all night!...no thanks!
One of the things that puts us off Chams is the fact you HAVE to wear a towel or a sexy outfit..people may go for the social side but sex is obviously the theme...which is fine for the ones who are into it...good on em I say.
But for people like us an atmosphere like that would be too intimidating I think. |
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We chat to anyone for all kinds of reasons:
- just to be friendly
- swap swinging stories
- network (friends of friends etc)
- find out about other clubs.
Just because we enjoy all aspects of the life style.  |
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"Well on Friday I went to Atlantis in Stoke, and I must admitt I was pleasantly surprised. I don't know what I was excepted, I supposed a mass orgy but no,everybody was dancing, drinking and talking. I learnt more about swinging by just talking about it. Would I go again.....Yes I would, soon I hope.
If we went to clubs thats the sort of the place that we would really love...a 'normal' club atmosphere but with friendly people instead of pissheads and druggies who all want to glass each other..all to the tune of 100db rave music all night!...no thanks!
One of the things that puts us off Chams is the fact you HAVE to wear a towel or a sexy outfit..people may go for the social side but sex is obviously the theme...which is fine for the ones who are into it...good on em I say.
But for people like us an atmosphere like that would be too intimidating I think."
Its funny how quickly it becomes normal though, i suppose its like naturism, when everyone is naked, you accept it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi all never been to a club and just have a quick question.
If a couple or single male/female came up to us in a club we get on great but their not our type, but we would still like to chat.
all im asking is just because you dont want to play for whatever reason do peeps in clubs still chat , or do you only talk to the people who you will play with, but this seems unfair.
sorry if none of that made sense its much harder trying to put it down in words "
i enjoy chatting to people at clubs regardless if i fancy them, or if i think they would fancy me... its one of the things i love about swinging.. even though its about sex.. its not all about the sex.
if i start chatting to someone, of if the come upto me.. i dont assume they are doing so because they fancy me, i just take it as they are just being freindly..
but it can be a pain in the arse.. as i am also crap at reading signals... can be chatting to either a fem or a couple.. and by the time ive clocked on to "ohhh they want to play with me" the staff are coming round kicking everyone out
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I talk to almost everyone at the clubs when I go. Its part of the whole swinging atmosphere for me. If I like an outfit Ill go and tell the lady that she looks great, if I like a guys tattoo again ill just go and say it. People interest me so I like to chat. What sometimes happens is that if im in the jacuzzi or a public playroom later, then those Ive been chatting to may come into the same vicinity as me and ask to play then, but I certainly dont play with all I chat to, id have to stretchered out if I did |
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