FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Help would be a understatement
Help would be a understatement
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Well, some of this may appear a bit cryptic but really indeed of some advice so i made this account in the hope of getting the advice i/we need! We contributed daily to the forums until recently
We started swinging early last year the other halfs idea for mff's of which I had no complaint  Allowed to roam fab I'd find the single fems, talk to them a bit then hand them over to the Mrs on Kik or what's app!!! Worked a treat we made a great team and made this so called unicorn chasing look easy 
But this is where the problems start..... being in a very long term relationship you would think id struggle for confidence but with my chat and us both not looking to shabby the relative ease I recruited single fems to our cause became a jealousy issue for my partner...
Although we've never had any problems in the act afterwards continued chat becomes a problem and on one occasion just through me being a nice guy  was told I over stepped the mark......which I never did!! I don't really flirt or talk dirty.... just chat,turn up do the business and go back to normal life......
I've given my partner plenty of opportunity to get out, she's says she doesn't want to!! But says her lack of trust for me is making it too difficult.
I've never broke any trust or anything and feel along with the people we've met that this lifestyle is for me, I love the liberty the fun the exitment and so does my partner allegedly....
I could never swing again and go back to normal and be happy I just feel like it's a constant carrot being dangled and whipped away, i keep saying let's make a decision... we either are swingers or We're not??? Am I being too pushy?? Should I be more patient? Who knows it's a fuck fest.... best just book our slot on the Jeremy Kyle show
Having looked at all the accounts the majority of couples seem to add men?? Is this because men deal with the trust and jealousy better than woman? Id personally let the other half get upto the majority of situations imvolved im swimfimg no issues because I trust her.... and know she would allways come back to me!
So the bottom line is She proclaims she loves the ladies and wants more but can't handle the jealousy of me with others
Should I just give up? 
Deep.... ps if anyone somehow recognises this as me keep it to yourself thanx x |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
It sounds to me like you need to sit down and communicate openly and honestly about all of this with your other half rather than secretly creating an account to seek the opinions of others who may not be aware of all the facts.
Jealousy is a factor and one that needs to be considered no matter how much you might think you'be not overstepped the mark, if your other half thinks you have that should be enough for you to take a look at what needs to change so you don't do it, or cause her anxiety, and you can only do that by talking to her and 'listening' and taking on board what she says.
The fact that you were doing the 'hunting' may be a lot of the problem - perhaps find a way that you can do it together and help her feel part of it.
Either way as I started off by saying, you need to sit down together and talk it through calmly and rationally and if she says she doesn't want to do this any more, be prepared to accept that and move on.
Good luck  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Is it your success at attracting the women or the continued chat afterwards that is the problem? why not let her do the continued chat after the meet if she wishes for further contact with the women? |
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We meet women, men and couples. I find other women tricky. They quite often need to feel the"special" one, when we started swinging as a couple after Mr had been on as a single male, I was messaged by 3 women saying they had met him. My reply was he is a free agent. Funnily enough they dudn't want to meet as a 3sum ! We do meet a couple if women who are great fun, good friends and so sexy. These women are laid back like me, there is no jealousy and every message is shared between us. We meet others together and gave a great time. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It sounds to me like you need to sit down and communicate openly and honestly about all of this with your other half rather than secretly creating an account to seek the opinions of others who may not be aware of all the facts.
Jealousy is a factor and one that needs to be considered no matter how much you might think you'be not overstepped the mark, if your other half thinks you have that should be enough for you to take a look at what needs to change so you don't do it, or cause her anxiety, and you can only do that by talking to her and 'listening' and taking on board what she says.
The fact that you were doing the 'hunting' may be a lot of the problem - perhaps find a way that you can do it together and help her feel part of it.
Either way as I started off by saying, you need to sit down together and talk it through calmly and rationally and if she says she doesn't want to do this any more, be prepared to accept that and move on.
Good luck "
Yeah I'm a friendly guy and we've both got a bit friendly with people nothing more though.... I 'secretly' made this account 8 weeks ago and decided against asking for advice however after lots of open discussion between us and having got no where I asked the question....and yeah I get your point about looking together we do quite alot and yeah anxeity is deffo playing a big part...
I'm happy to walk away from the lifestyle I've even tried putting a permanent end to it... we've genuinely lived a life we never thought we'd be able to this past year and as much as I like it family ofcourse comes first...
She deffo wants back into it... she scared and I understand thats a genuine emotion and how she feels but the lack of logic behind why she feels like that is the problem.... I'm a straight up honest guy is never hurt her 
Anyway thanks for your advice etc |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We meet women, men and couples. I find other women tricky. They quite often need to feel the"special" one, when we started swinging as a couple after Mr had been on as a single male, I was messaged by 3 women saying they had met him. My reply was he is a free agent. Funnily enough they dudn't want to meet as a 3sum ! We do meet a couple if women who are great fun, good friends and so sexy. These women are laid back like me, there is no jealousy and every message is shared between us. We meet others together and gave a great time."
Hello!! yes you understand I think... alot of woman do need to be made to feel special and like the attention even in a non sexual way.... it's deffo what made us so successful and we had and understanding about this knowing it was what would be needed to get what we wanted....
Thankfully the women we have met have all been really nice and respectful for want of a better term professional swingers otherwise texts and DMs could have added a whole new level of problems...
We could probably do with meeting a nice couple and taking it from there so she can see it work the other way... thanks x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Is it your success at attracting the women or the continued chat afterwards that is the problem? why not let her do the continued chat after the meet if she wishes for further contact with the women?"
A bit of both... mainly being too friendly afterwards tho Tbh x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is it your success at attracting the women or the continued chat afterwards that is the problem? why not let her do the continued chat after the meet if she wishes for further contact with the women?
A bit of both... mainly being too friendly afterwards tho Tbh x"
I think I'd find the ongoing chat afterwards difficult to handle if I was swinging with a partner. That to me is too intimate.
I hope you can both sort out what you want from the site and lifestyle xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Is it your success at attracting the women or the continued chat afterwards that is the problem? why not let her do the continued chat after the meet if she wishes for further contact with the women?
A bit of both... mainly being too friendly afterwards tho Tbh x
I think I'd find the ongoing chat afterwards difficult to handle if I was swinging with a partner. That to me is too intimate.
I hope you can both sort out what you want from the site and lifestyle xx"
Think your spot on!! Xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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it seems prior to swinging you were both fine with each other - it was the mrs who wanted the experience and got it - but now the reality isnt what she thought - maybe she sees in you what she thinks other women see in you and has made her insecure- you need to chat |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"it seems prior to swinging you were both fine with each other - it was the mrs who wanted the experience and got it - but now the reality isnt what she thought - maybe she sees in you what she thinks other women see in you and has made her insecure- you need to chat "
Yeah your right aswell.... we've both made alot more effort in appearance etc and have both attracted alot more attention in the non fab world... This hasn't helped either...... monkey emoji with hands over eyes  xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Respect her wishes.
Talk.
Be honest.
Put it down if it's best for both parties.
Having a couple profile that you can play with together means it's fully open comms and she needn't worry what you may or may not be saying to other ladies. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Respect her wishes.
Talk.
Be honest.
Put it down if it's best for both parties.
Having a couple profile that you can play with together means it's fully open comms and she needn't worry what you may or may not be saying to other ladies. "
That's how things were it's how to get that back? Think it's just patience and time required for her... where as I just like to know where I'm upto so i dont do or say the wrong thing  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Respect her wishes.
Talk.
Be honest.
Put it down if it's best for both parties.
Having a couple profile that you can play with together means it's fully open comms and she needn't worry what you may or may not be saying to other ladies.
That's how things were it's how to get that back? Think it's just patience and time required for her... where as I just like to know where I'm upto so i dont do or say the wrong thing "
Don't do or say anything about it for a while and stop coming on here for a bit? I really struggle with jealousy issues and I found that once my husband stopped mentioning it and let me do what I wanted at my pace I am now coming round to the idea, whereas before him mentioning it brought up an instant wall.
I think if she decides she does want to continue without any pressure I would make all communication through here as then both have open access to it and I'd cut the chat afterwards too..if you'd like to meet again perhaps leave it up to her? I wouldn't like continued chat either.
I can't really logically explain my reasoning behind my feelings about it either, but they're still there |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Respect her wishes.
Talk.
Be honest.
Put it down if it's best for both parties.
Having a couple profile that you can play with together means it's fully open comms and she needn't worry what you may or may not be saying to other ladies.
That's how things were it's how to get that back? Think it's just patience and time required for her... where as I just like to know where I'm upto so i dont do or say the wrong thing
Don't do or say anything about it for a while and stop coming on here for a bit? I really struggle with jealousy issues and I found that once my husband stopped mentioning it and let me do what I wanted at my pace I am now coming round to the idea, whereas before him mentioning it brought up an instant wall.
I think if she decides she does want to continue without any pressure I would make all communication through here as then both have open access to it and I'd cut the chat afterwards too..if you'd like to meet again perhaps leave it up to her? I wouldn't like continued chat either.
I can't really logically explain my reasoning behind my feelings about it either, but they're still there "
Yeah thanks.. she talks about walls just wanna do the right thing.. .. don't wanna make her quit it if she really doesn't want to! But just don't like being in limbo.. if I'm honest I only see three solutions 1. Get on with being swingers 2. Forget about it and move on with normal life 3. My least favorite call time on our relationship.
I appreciate your honesty about saying you don't understand either lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Is it your success at attracting the women or the continued chat afterwards that is the problem? why not let her do the continued chat after the meet if she wishes for further contact with the women?
A bit of both... mainly being too friendly afterwards tho Tbh x"
and is that communication off fab so she isn't party to it? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Respect her wishes.
Talk.
Be honest.
Put it down if it's best for both parties.
Having a couple profile that you can play with together means it's fully open comms and she needn't worry what you may or may not be saying to other ladies.
That's how things were it's how to get that back? Think it's just patience and time required for her... where as I just like to know where I'm upto so i dont do or say the wrong thing
Don't do or say anything about it for a while and stop coming on here for a bit? I really struggle with jealousy issues and I found that once my husband stopped mentioning it and let me do what I wanted at my pace I am now coming round to the idea, whereas before him mentioning it brought up an instant wall.
I think if she decides she does want to continue without any pressure I would make all communication through here as then both have open access to it and I'd cut the chat afterwards too..if you'd like to meet again perhaps leave it up to her? I wouldn't like continued chat either.
I can't really logically explain my reasoning behind my feelings about it either, but they're still there
Yeah thanks.. she talks about walls just wanna do the right thing.. .. don't wanna make her quit it if she really doesn't want to! But just don't like being in limbo.. if I'm honest I only see three solutions 1. Get on with being swingers 2. Forget about it and move on with normal life 3. My least favorite call time on our relationship.
I appreciate your honesty about saying you don't understand either lol"
4. Stop the continued communication with the other women after you've met. essentially, unless they develop a friendship with both of you, they're clearly taking up too much of yoyr attention for the comfort of yoyr partner. Just stop. Unless you need the continued attention from them, then you're into a whole different ball game... |
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By *ea_CoffeeCouple
over a year ago
Near Kettering |
It seems to me more patience is required. Let her come to terms with things and move the situation forward in her own time.
I am assuming your couples profile has verifications if you have been successful so why not hand her the rains and let her control the interaction for a while.
Let her manage the communication before and after so she can reinforce her own confidence and feel in control. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I've agreed with a few of the posts below giving advice.
Sometimes I feel I'm not allowed to fancy people but she is, because she has body issues that I don't. I'm not body perfect, just more confident. She also worries because we're new to it, 7 years the profile went unused) that I'll find someone wilder and leave her.
Ask her what you did, or more importantly, what the other girl did, that for her back up. We've had an experience where another girl didn't acknowledge my gf and me as a couple, and it rubbed her up the wrong way. The same way it works when a single guy messages you both on fab and says "You're hott" and you know it's to her. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Respect her wishes.
Talk.
Be honest.
Put it down if it's best for both parties.
Having a couple profile that you can play with together means it's fully open comms and she needn't worry what you may or may not be saying to other ladies.
That's how things were it's how to get that back? Think it's just patience and time required for her... where as I just like to know where I'm upto so i dont do or say the wrong thing
Don't do or say anything about it for a while and stop coming on here for a bit? I really struggle with jealousy issues and I found that once my husband stopped mentioning it and let me do what I wanted at my pace I am now coming round to the idea, whereas before him mentioning it brought up an instant wall.
I think if she decides she does want to continue without any pressure I would make all communication through here as then both have open access to it and I'd cut the chat afterwards too..if you'd like to meet again perhaps leave it up to her? I wouldn't like continued chat either.
I can't really logically explain my reasoning behind my feelings about it either, but they're still there
Yeah thanks.. she talks about walls just wanna do the right thing.. .. don't wanna make her quit it if she really doesn't want to! But just don't like being in limbo.. if I'm honest I only see three solutions 1. Get on with being swingers 2. Forget about it and move on with normal life 3. My least favorite call time on our relationship.
I appreciate your honesty about saying you don't understand either lol
4. Stop the continued communication with the other women after you've met. essentially, unless they develop a friendship with both of you, they're clearly taking up too much of yoyr attention for the comfort of yoyr partner. Just stop. Unless you need the continued attention from them, then you're into a whole different ball game..."
What about the other woman's feelings? It will seem like he's lured a woman into having a 3sone with him and his partner, then dumped her when it's done. This kind of drama is why I won't look for couples on here. Jealous girlfriends and wives I don't need in my life. Which is a shame because I love 3somes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Respect her wishes.
Talk.
Be honest.
Put it down if it's best for both parties.
Having a couple profile that you can play with together means it's fully open comms and she needn't worry what you may or may not be saying to other ladies.
That's how things were it's how to get that back? Think it's just patience and time required for her... where as I just like to know where I'm upto so i dont do or say the wrong thing
Don't do or say anything about it for a while and stop coming on here for a bit? I really struggle with jealousy issues and I found that once my husband stopped mentioning it and let me do what I wanted at my pace I am now coming round to the idea, whereas before him mentioning it brought up an instant wall.
I think if she decides she does want to continue without any pressure I would make all communication through here as then both have open access to it and I'd cut the chat afterwards too..if you'd like to meet again perhaps leave it up to her? I wouldn't like continued chat either.
I can't really logically explain my reasoning behind my feelings about it either, but they're still there
Yeah thanks.. she talks about walls just wanna do the right thing.. .. don't wanna make her quit it if she really doesn't want to! But just don't like being in limbo.. if I'm honest I only see three solutions 1. Get on with being swingers 2. Forget about it and move on with normal life 3. My least favorite call time on our relationship.
I appreciate your honesty about saying you don't understand either lol
4. Stop the continued communication with the other women after you've met. essentially, unless they develop a friendship with both of you, they're clearly taking up too much of yoyr attention for the comfort of yoyr partner. Just stop. Unless you need the continued attention from them, then you're into a whole different ball game...
What about the other woman's feelings? It will seem like he's lured a woman into having a 3sone with him and his partner, then dumped her when it's done. This kind of drama is why I won't look for couples on here. Jealous girlfriends and wives I don't need in my life. Which is a shame because I love 3somes. "
if she communicated with both of them openly after the meet, what's the problem with that? it's not tossing her aside, or using her. It's communicating in a way which doesn't feel like it's cutting the female partner out. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Respect her wishes.
Talk.
Be honest.
Put it down if it's best for both parties.
Having a couple profile that you can play with together means it's fully open comms and she needn't worry what you may or may not be saying to other ladies.
That's how things were it's how to get that back? Think it's just patience and time required for her... where as I just like to know where I'm upto so i dont do or say the wrong thing
Don't do or say anything about it for a while and stop coming on here for a bit? I really struggle with jealousy issues and I found that once my husband stopped mentioning it and let me do what I wanted at my pace I am now coming round to the idea, whereas before him mentioning it brought up an instant wall.
I think if she decides she does want to continue without any pressure I would make all communication through here as then both have open access to it and I'd cut the chat afterwards too..if you'd like to meet again perhaps leave it up to her? I wouldn't like continued chat either.
I can't really logically explain my reasoning behind my feelings about it either, but they're still there
Yeah thanks.. she talks about walls just wanna do the right thing.. .. don't wanna make her quit it if she really doesn't want to! But just don't like being in limbo.. if I'm honest I only see three solutions 1. Get on with being swingers 2. Forget about it and move on with normal life 3. My least favorite call time on our relationship.
I appreciate your honesty about saying you don't understand either lol
4. Stop the continued communication with the other women after you've met. essentially, unless they develop a friendship with both of you, they're clearly taking up too much of yoyr attention for the comfort of yoyr partner. Just stop. Unless you need the continued attention from them, then you're into a whole different ball game...
What about the other woman's feelings? It will seem like he's lured a woman into having a 3sone with him and his partner, then dumped her when it's done. This kind of drama is why I won't look for couples on here. Jealous girlfriends and wives I don't need in my life. Which is a shame because I love 3somes.
if she communicated with both of them openly after the meet, what's the problem with that? it's not tossing her aside, or using her. It's communicating in a way which doesn't feel like it's cutting the female partner out. "
The person said stop communication with the woman. If they both were party to the conversation, how much would he be able to input, with a jealous partner. His initial introduction to the woman would be as a single man. If they want to meet single women as a couple they should start off as a couple, which we all know is very difficult on here. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Firstly were all on here for one thing..... so did we or I trick people into threesomes... no we didn't were completely honest about who and what and why we were here!!!
We mistakenly thought we could be genuine friends with Someone... it was all in open all I'm group chat  feelings got involved and care etc... I've learnt I'd rather catch alot of things before feelimgs making friends didn't work out....
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When women meet men and say they have a partner at home who will be present, they are told they should have a couples profile.
If I met someone on here and they introduced a woman into the equation I wouldn't be too happy that it was only to find another woman for 3somes. I'm not against 3somes, but I would have expected to meet him alone, and would expect to keep in touch with the man afterwards, if he wanted to meet again, regardless whether we had a 3some.
I think your approach to how you meet these women your partner is jealous of is the problem.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Respect her wishes.
Talk.
Be honest.
Put it down if it's best for both parties.
Having a couple profile that you can play with together means it's fully open comms and she needn't worry what you may or may not be saying to other ladies.
That's how things were it's how to get that back? Think it's just patience and time required for her... where as I just like to know where I'm upto so i dont do or say the wrong thing
Don't do or say anything about it for a while and stop coming on here for a bit? I really struggle with jealousy issues and I found that once my husband stopped mentioning it and let me do what I wanted at my pace I am now coming round to the idea, whereas before him mentioning it brought up an instant wall.
I think if she decides she does want to continue without any pressure I would make all communication through here as then both have open access to it and I'd cut the chat afterwards too..if you'd like to meet again perhaps leave it up to her? I wouldn't like continued chat either.
I can't really logically explain my reasoning behind my feelings about it either, but they're still there
Yeah thanks.. she talks about walls just wanna do the right thing.. .. don't wanna make her quit it if she really doesn't want to! But just don't like being in limbo.. if I'm honest I only see three solutions 1. Get on with being swingers 2. Forget about it and move on with normal life 3. My least favorite call time on our relationship.
I appreciate your honesty about saying you don't understand either lol
4. Stop the continued communication with the other women after you've met. essentially, unless they develop a friendship with both of you, they're clearly taking up too much of yoyr attention for the comfort of yoyr partner. Just stop. Unless you need the continued attention from them, then you're into a whole different ball game...
What about the other woman's feelings? It will seem like he's lured a woman into having a 3sone with him and his partner, then dumped her when it's done. This kind of drama is why I won't look for couples on here. Jealous girlfriends and wives I don't need in my life. Which is a shame because I love 3somes. "
You shouldn't let it put you off.... lol says me haha!!! Just make sure the folks know where there Upto. we still both like her there's no nastiness xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Firstly were all on here for one thing..... so did we or I trick people into threesomes... no we didn't were completely honest about who and what and why we were here!!!
We mistakenly thought we could be genuine friends with Someone... it was all in open all I'm group chat feelings got involved and care etc... I've learnt I'd rather catch alot of things before feelimgs making friends didn't work out....
"
Why were you on a single account looking for women for both of you? Was it clear on your account that you had a partner who would always participate? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"The continued friendly communication after what's supposed to be no strings fun would bother me too.
Does she know about this profile? "
No she doesn't..... this really isn't a profile.... lol.
Other than the people we've met(who id never contact without my partner knowing) and the community on here I have no-one who I can discuss such matters with.
This profile is purely for that purpose so please don't think otherwise and Tbh I'm glad I asked as I've had some great messages and offers of advice xx
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Respect her wishes.
Talk.
Be honest.
Put it down if it's best for both parties.
Having a couple profile that you can play with together means it's fully open comms and she needn't worry what you may or may not be saying to other ladies.
That's how things were it's how to get that back? Think it's just patience and time required for her... where as I just like to know where I'm upto so i dont do or say the wrong thing
Don't do or say anything about it for a while and stop coming on here for a bit? I really struggle with jealousy issues and I found that once my husband stopped mentioning it and let me do what I wanted at my pace I am now coming round to the idea, whereas before him mentioning it brought up an instant wall.
I think if she decides she does want to continue without any pressure I would make all communication through here as then both have open access to it and I'd cut the chat afterwards too..if you'd like to meet again perhaps leave it up to her? I wouldn't like continued chat either.
I can't really logically explain my reasoning behind my feelings about it either, but they're still there
Yeah thanks.. she talks about walls just wanna do the right thing.. .. don't wanna make her quit it if she really doesn't want to! But just don't like being in limbo.. if I'm honest I only see three solutions 1. Get on with being swingers 2. Forget about it and move on with normal life 3. My least favorite call time on our relationship.
I appreciate your honesty about saying you don't understand either lol
4. Stop the continued communication with the other women after you've met. essentially, unless they develop a friendship with both of you, they're clearly taking up too much of yoyr attention for the comfort of yoyr partner. Just stop. Unless you need the continued attention from them, then you're into a whole different ball game...
What about the other woman's feelings? It will seem like he's lured a woman into having a 3sone with him and his partner, then dumped her when it's done. This kind of drama is why I won't look for couples on here. Jealous girlfriends and wives I don't need in my life. Which is a shame because I love 3somes.
You shouldn't let it put you off.... lol says me haha!!! Just make sure the folks know where there Upto. we still both like her there's no nastiness xx"
I think you're very being deceitful by pretending to be a single guy, then handing females you chat to over to Mrs. I would block and report you if you did that to me. If you want to meet as couple or she wants to meet ladys, then have the right profile, i.e. couple or just for her female. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Respect her wishes.
Talk.
Be honest.
Put it down if it's best for both parties.
Having a couple profile that you can play with together means it's fully open comms and she needn't worry what you may or may not be saying to other ladies.
That's how things were it's how to get that back? Think it's just patience and time required for her... where as I just like to know where I'm upto so i dont do or say the wrong thing
Don't do or say anything about it for a while and stop coming on here for a bit? I really struggle with jealousy issues and I found that once my husband stopped mentioning it and let me do what I wanted at my pace I am now coming round to the idea, whereas before him mentioning it brought up an instant wall.
I think if she decides she does want to continue without any pressure I would make all communication through here as then both have open access to it and I'd cut the chat afterwards too..if you'd like to meet again perhaps leave it up to her? I wouldn't like continued chat either.
I can't really logically explain my reasoning behind my feelings about it either, but they're still there
Yeah thanks.. she talks about walls just wanna do the right thing.. .. don't wanna make her quit it if she really doesn't want to! But just don't like being in limbo.. if I'm honest I only see three solutions 1. Get on with being swingers 2. Forget about it and move on with normal life 3. My least favorite call time on our relationship.
I appreciate your honesty about saying you don't understand either lol
4. Stop the continued communication with the other women after you've met. essentially, unless they develop a friendship with both of you, they're clearly taking up too much of yoyr attention for the comfort of yoyr partner. Just stop. Unless you need the continued attention from them, then you're into a whole different ball game...
What about the other woman's feelings? It will seem like he's lured a woman into having a 3sone with him and his partner, then dumped her when it's done. This kind of drama is why I won't look for couples on here. Jealous girlfriends and wives I don't need in my life. Which is a shame because I love 3somes.
You shouldn't let it put you off.... lol says me haha!!! Just make sure the folks know where there Upto. we still both like her there's no nastiness xx"
I spoke to quite a few couples when I first joined and it became clear that the woman was making the rules. It came across as "Don't touch my man, unless I give you permission". That doesn't work for me; I like to go with the flow and not be worried if she doesn't like what I'm doing. I'm secure enough to have no problem with anything my long term partner does. He still feels he has to reassure me now and then by telling me I am his number one, and he adores me. I don't need that reassurance; I don't feel jealousy.
I really hope you work it out as sex between 3 people can be great |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Respect her wishes.
Talk.
Be honest.
Put it down if it's best for both parties.
Having a couple profile that you can play with together means it's fully open comms and she needn't worry what you may or may not be saying to other ladies.
That's how things were it's how to get that back? Think it's just patience and time required for her... where as I just like to know where I'm upto so i dont do or say the wrong thing
Don't do or say anything about it for a while and stop coming on here for a bit? I really struggle with jealousy issues and I found that once my husband stopped mentioning it and let me do what I wanted at my pace I am now coming round to the idea, whereas before him mentioning it brought up an instant wall.
I think if she decides she does want to continue without any pressure I would make all communication through here as then both have open access to it and I'd cut the chat afterwards too..if you'd like to meet again perhaps leave it up to her? I wouldn't like continued chat either.
I can't really logically explain my reasoning behind my feelings about it either, but they're still there
Yeah thanks.. she talks about walls just wanna do the right thing.. .. don't wanna make her quit it if she really doesn't want to! But just don't like being in limbo.. if I'm honest I only see three solutions 1. Get on with being swingers 2. Forget about it and move on with normal life 3. My least favorite call time on our relationship.
I appreciate your honesty about saying you don't understand either lol
4. Stop the continued communication with the other women after you've met. essentially, unless they develop a friendship with both of you, they're clearly taking up too much of yoyr attention for the comfort of yoyr partner. Just stop. Unless you need the continued attention from them, then you're into a whole different ball game...
What about the other woman's feelings? It will seem like he's lured a woman into having a 3sone with him and his partner, then dumped her when it's done. This kind of drama is why I won't look for couples on here. Jealous girlfriends and wives I don't need in my life. Which is a shame because I love 3somes.
if she communicated with both of them openly after the meet, what's the problem with that? it's not tossing her aside, or using her. It's communicating in a way which doesn't feel like it's cutting the female partner out.
The person said stop communication with the woman. If they both were party to the conversation, how much would he be able to input, with a jealous partner. His initial introduction to the woman would be as a single man. If they want to meet single women as a couple they should start off as a couple, which we all know is very difficult on here. "
For the record we're on as a couple... I just did most of the looking.... and Tbh it's really quite easy to meet single fems if I'm being honest.... think some woman in couples just like their husbands thinking it is |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Respect her wishes.
Talk.
Be honest.
Put it down if it's best for both parties.
Having a couple profile that you can play with together means it's fully open comms and she needn't worry what you may or may not be saying to other ladies.
That's how things were it's how to get that back? Think it's just patience and time required for her... where as I just like to know where I'm upto so i dont do or say the wrong thing
Don't do or say anything about it for a while and stop coming on here for a bit? I really struggle with jealousy issues and I found that once my husband stopped mentioning it and let me do what I wanted at my pace I am now coming round to the idea, whereas before him mentioning it brought up an instant wall.
I think if she decides she does want to continue without any pressure I would make all communication through here as then both have open access to it and I'd cut the chat afterwards too..if you'd like to meet again perhaps leave it up to her? I wouldn't like continued chat either.
I can't really logically explain my reasoning behind my feelings about it either, but they're still there
Yeah thanks.. she talks about walls just wanna do the right thing.. .. don't wanna make her quit it if she really doesn't want to! But just don't like being in limbo.. if I'm honest I only see three solutions 1. Get on with being swingers 2. Forget about it and move on with normal life 3. My least favorite call time on our relationship.
I appreciate your honesty about saying you don't understand either lol
4. Stop the continued communication with the other women after you've met. essentially, unless they develop a friendship with both of you, they're clearly taking up too much of yoyr attention for the comfort of yoyr partner. Just stop. Unless you need the continued attention from them, then you're into a whole different ball game...
What about the other woman's feelings? It will seem like he's lured a woman into having a 3sone with him and his partner, then dumped her when it's done. This kind of drama is why I won't look for couples on here. Jealous girlfriends and wives I don't need in my life. Which is a shame because I love 3somes.
if she communicated with both of them openly after the meet, what's the problem with that? it's not tossing her aside, or using her. It's communicating in a way which doesn't feel like it's cutting the female partner out.
The person said stop communication with the woman. If they both were party to the conversation, how much would he be able to input, with a jealous partner. His initial introduction to the woman would be as a single man. If they want to meet single women as a couple they should start off as a couple, which we all know is very difficult on here.
For the record we're on as a couple... I just did most of the looking.... and Tbh it's really quite easy to meet single fems if I'm being honest.... think some woman in couples just like their husbands thinking it is "
So the women knew they were meeting you both. When I spoke to couples I spoke to both of them. If we had met I would have wanted communications to continue with both. I don't know how you can overcome your partner's jealousy issues. You have a tough decision to make. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"OP, is your partner happy watching you have sex with women?"
She likes it in the moment... so I would think yes... It's her bi-side she wanted to investigate further... I wouldn't want to play on my own so the only ever logical course for us all to enjoy was 3somes... shed have another tomorrow... she just would like the single fem to teleport into our bedroom and disapear as fast 4 or 5 hours later... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Respect her wishes.
Talk.
Be honest.
Put it down if it's best for both parties.
Having a couple profile that you can play with together means it's fully open comms and she needn't worry what you may or may not be saying to other ladies.
That's how things were it's how to get that back? Think it's just patience and time required for her... where as I just like to know where I'm upto so i dont do or say the wrong thing
Don't do or say anything about it for a while and stop coming on here for a bit? I really struggle with jealousy issues and I found that once my husband stopped mentioning it and let me do what I wanted at my pace I am now coming round to the idea, whereas before him mentioning it brought up an instant wall.
I think if she decides she does want to continue without any pressure I would make all communication through here as then both have open access to it and I'd cut the chat afterwards too..if you'd like to meet again perhaps leave it up to her? I wouldn't like continued chat either.
I can't really logically explain my reasoning behind my feelings about it either, but they're still there
Yeah thanks.. she talks about walls just wanna do the right thing.. .. don't wanna make her quit it if she really doesn't want to! But just don't like being in limbo.. if I'm honest I only see three solutions 1. Get on with being swingers 2. Forget about it and move on with normal life 3. My least favorite call time on our relationship.
I appreciate your honesty about saying you don't understand either lol
4. Stop the continued communication with the other women after you've met. essentially, unless they develop a friendship with both of you, they're clearly taking up too much of yoyr attention for the comfort of yoyr partner. Just stop. Unless you need the continued attention from them, then you're into a whole different ball game...
What about the other woman's feelings? It will seem like he's lured a woman into having a 3sone with him and his partner, then dumped her when it's done. This kind of drama is why I won't look for couples on here. Jealous girlfriends and wives I don't need in my life. Which is a shame because I love 3somes.
if she communicated with both of them openly after the meet, what's the problem with that? it's not tossing her aside, or using her. It's communicating in a way which doesn't feel like it's cutting the female partner out.
The person said stop communication with the woman. If they both were party to the conversation, how much would he be able to input, with a jealous partner. His initial introduction to the woman would be as a single man. If they want to meet single women as a couple they should start off as a couple, which we all know is very difficult on here.
For the record we're on as a couple... I just did most of the looking.... and Tbh it's really quite easy to meet single fems if I'm being honest.... think some woman in couples just like their husbands thinking it is
So the women knew they were meeting you both. When I spoke to couples I spoke to both of them. If we had met I would have wanted communications to continue with both. I don't know how you can overcome your partner's jealousy issues. You have a tough decision to make. "
Yeah we kept in touch for six months... even knocking the sex on the head as we all became such good friends.... it's been painful on so many levels. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Respect her wishes.
Talk.
Be honest.
Put it down if it's best for both parties.
Having a couple profile that you can play with together means it's fully open comms and she needn't worry what you may or may not be saying to other ladies.
That's how things were it's how to get that back? Think it's just patience and time required for her... where as I just like to know where I'm upto so i dont do or say the wrong thing
Don't do or say anything about it for a while and stop coming on here for a bit? I really struggle with jealousy issues and I found that once my husband stopped mentioning it and let me do what I wanted at my pace I am now coming round to the idea, whereas before him mentioning it brought up an instant wall.
I think if she decides she does want to continue without any pressure I would make all communication through here as then both have open access to it and I'd cut the chat afterwards too..if you'd like to meet again perhaps leave it up to her? I wouldn't like continued chat either.
I can't really logically explain my reasoning behind my feelings about it either, but they're still there
Yeah thanks.. she talks about walls just wanna do the right thing.. .. don't wanna make her quit it if she really doesn't want to! But just don't like being in limbo.. if I'm honest I only see three solutions 1. Get on with being swingers 2. Forget about it and move on with normal life 3. My least favorite call time on our relationship.
I appreciate your honesty about saying you don't understand either lol
4. Stop the continued communication with the other women after you've met. essentially, unless they develop a friendship with both of you, they're clearly taking up too much of yoyr attention for the comfort of yoyr partner. Just stop. Unless you need the continued attention from them, then you're into a whole different ball game...
What about the other woman's feelings? It will seem like he's lured a woman into having a 3sone with him and his partner, then dumped her when it's done. This kind of drama is why I won't look for couples on here. Jealous girlfriends and wives I don't need in my life. Which is a shame because I love 3somes.
You shouldn't let it put you off.... lol says me haha!!! Just make sure the folks know where there Upto. we still both like her there's no nastiness xx
I spoke to quite a few couples when I first joined and it became clear that the woman was making the rules. It came across as "Don't touch my man, unless I give you permission". That doesn't work for me; I like to go with the flow and not be worried if she doesn't like what I'm doing. I'm secure enough to have no problem with anything my long term partner does. He still feels he has to reassure me now and then by telling me I am his number one, and he adores me. I don't need that reassurance; I don't feel jealousy.
I really hope you work it out as sex between 3 people can be great "
she doesn't like too much dirty talking directed just at me, which is understandable and we've binned of loads of chats and meets for this exact reason.... but yeah sex in a threesomes has been something We've really enjoyed, we like it being fair for everyone and we don't really or havnt done rules etc up until now. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"OP, is your partner happy watching you have sex with women?
She likes it in the moment... so I would think yes... It's her bi-side she wanted to investigate further... I wouldn't want to play on my own so the only ever logical course for us all to enjoy was 3somes... shed have another tomorrow... she just would like the single fem to teleport into our bedroom and disapear as fast 4 or 5 hours later... "
Could you do that and not have a friendship with the single female? Just keep it as purely sex? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"OP, is your partner happy watching you have sex with women?
She likes it in the moment... so I would think yes... It's her bi-side she wanted to investigate further... I wouldn't want to play on my own so the only ever logical course for us all to enjoy was 3somes... shed have another tomorrow... she just would like the single fem to teleport into our bedroom and disapear as fast 4 or 5 hours later...
Could you do that and not have a friendship with the single female? Just keep it as purely sex?"
In and ideal world that would be perfect and if we ever met a fem who was happy with that arrangement maybe that should be our be new approach xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"OP, is your partner happy watching you have sex with women?
She likes it in the moment... so I would think yes... It's her bi-side she wanted to investigate further... I wouldn't want to play on my own so the only ever logical course for us all to enjoy was 3somes... shed have another tomorrow... she just would like the single fem to teleport into our bedroom and disapear as fast 4 or 5 hours later...
Could you do that and not have a friendship with the single female? Just keep it as purely sex?"
That's what I would suggest. I could do that if I met a couple; I'm not here for friendship. A hello, hope you're well once in a while to let me know you're still interested would suffice. I wouldn't want to do anything to upset a wife or girlfriend and would stay in the shadows-if I was getting enough from the sex. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"It seems to me more patience is required. Let her come to terms with things and move the situation forward in her own time.
I am assuming your couples profile has verifications if you have been successful so why not hand her the rains and let her control the interaction for a while.
Let her manage the communication before and after so she can reinforce her own confidence and feel in control."
Yeah we have a new account.. we have one of our verifications back... I am going to encourage her to take more control if she decides carrying on is what she wants.. xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"OP, is your partner happy watching you have sex with women?
She likes it in the moment... so I would think yes... It's her bi-side she wanted to investigate further... I wouldn't want to play on my own so the only ever logical course for us all to enjoy was 3somes... shed have another tomorrow... she just would like the single fem to teleport into our bedroom and disapear as fast 4 or 5 hours later...
Could you do that and not have a friendship with the single female? Just keep it as purely sex?
That's what I would suggest. I could do that if I met a couple; I'm not here for friendship. A hello, hope you're well once in a while to let me know you're still interested would suffice. I wouldn't want to do anything to upset a wife or girlfriend and would stay in the shadows-if I was getting enough from the sex. "
Yeah we have it good... we only ended up on here out of greed 
Would you feel as a single fem let down.... if you'd had some big chat for weeks, then told right chats over but we will meet you for sex???
We know people do that... just didn't seem like the sort of thing we wanted to do or the people we wanted to be!!
Maybe just need to toughen up and be a bit colder with people we meet? xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"OP, is your partner happy watching you have sex with women?
She likes it in the moment... so I would think yes... It's her bi-side she wanted to investigate further... I wouldn't want to play on my own so the only ever logical course for us all to enjoy was 3somes... shed have another tomorrow... she just would like the single fem to teleport into our bedroom and disapear as fast 4 or 5 hours later...
Could you do that and not have a friendship with the single female? Just keep it as purely sex?
That's what I would suggest. I could do that if I met a couple; I'm not here for friendship. A hello, hope you're well once in a while to let me know you're still interested would suffice. I wouldn't want to do anything to upset a wife or girlfriend and would stay in the shadows-if I was getting enough from the sex.
Yeah we have it good... we only ended up on here out of greed
Would you feel as a single fem let down.... if you'd had some big chat for weeks, then told right chats over but we will meet you for sex???
We know people do that... just didn't seem like the sort of thing we wanted to do or the people we wanted to be!!
Maybe just need to toughen up and be a bit colder with people we meet? xx"
As the single female, I would hope I'd know to respect boundaries and not expect to be treated the same as the wife or girlfriend.
I'd also try and include both in all conversations and not just talk to the man. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"OP, is your partner happy watching you have sex with women?
She likes it in the moment... so I would think yes... It's her bi-side she wanted to investigate further... I wouldn't want to play on my own so the only ever logical course for us all to enjoy was 3somes... shed have another tomorrow... she just would like the single fem to teleport into our bedroom and disapear as fast 4 or 5 hours later...
Could you do that and not have a friendship with the single female? Just keep it as purely sex?
That's what I would suggest. I could do that if I met a couple; I'm not here for friendship. A hello, hope you're well once in a while to let me know you're still interested would suffice. I wouldn't want to do anything to upset a wife or girlfriend and would stay in the shadows-if I was getting enough from the sex.
Yeah we have it good... we only ended up on here out of greed
Would you feel as a single fem let down.... if you'd had some big chat for weeks, then told right chats over but we will meet you for sex???
We know people do that... just didn't seem like the sort of thing we wanted to do or the people we wanted to be!!
Maybe just need to toughen up and be a bit colder with people we meet? xx"
I wouldn't; I don't expect constant chat after sex with the men I meet from here. It says so on my profile. As long as I have the kind of sex I want, your life is your own. |
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"Respect her wishes.
Talk.
Be honest.
Put it down if it's best for both parties.
Having a couple profile that you can play with together means it's fully open comms and she needn't worry what you may or may not be saying to other ladies.
That's how things were it's how to get that back? Think it's just patience and time required for her... where as I just like to know where I'm upto so i dont do or say the wrong thing
Don't do or say anything about it for a while and stop coming on here for a bit? I really struggle with jealousy issues and I found that once my husband stopped mentioning it and let me do what I wanted at my pace I am now coming round to the idea, whereas before him mentioning it brought up an instant wall.
I think if she decides she does want to continue without any pressure I would make all communication through here as then both have open access to it and I'd cut the chat afterwards too..if you'd like to meet again perhaps leave it up to her? I wouldn't like continued chat either.
I can't really logically explain my reasoning behind my feelings about it either, but they're still there
Yeah thanks.. she talks about walls just wanna do the right thing.. .. don't wanna make her quit it if she really doesn't want to! But just don't like being in limbo.. if I'm honest I only see three solutions 1. Get on with being swingers 2. Forget about it and move on with normal life 3. My least favorite call time on our relationship.
I appreciate your honesty about saying you don't understand either lol
4. Stop the continued communication with the other women after you've met. essentially, unless they develop a friendship with both of you, they're clearly taking up too much of yoyr attention for the comfort of yoyr partner. Just stop. Unless you need the continued attention from them, then you're into a whole different ball game...
What about the other woman's feelings? It will seem like he's lured a woman into having a 3sone with him and his partner, then dumped her when it's done. This kind of drama is why I won't look for couples on here. Jealous girlfriends and wives I don't need in my life. Which is a shame because I love 3somes.
You shouldn't let it put you off.... lol says me haha!!! Just make sure the folks know where there Upto. we still both like her there's no nastiness xx
I think you're very being deceitful by pretending to be a single guy, then handing females you chat to over to Mrs. I would block and report you if you did that to me. If you want to meet as couple or she wants to meet ladys, then have the right profile, i.e. couple or just for her female. "
This
OP it all seems very deceitful and you are just 'using' women on here! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We mistakenly thought we could be genuine friends with Someone... it was all in open all I'm group chat feelings got involved and care etc... I've learnt I'd rather catch alot of things before feelimgs making friends didn't work out....
"
That for me is the most telling statement you've posted, we have met guys we would consider friends now but we both get on with them and I certainly wouldn't say I had feelings for them. It sounds like there's a little more to it and maybe there's good reason for her being uncomfortable.
fwiw when we joined the scene it was on the understanding that if either of us ever felt any jealousy creeping in or felt the reality didn't live up to the fantasy that would be it. Our relation is far more important. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Respect her wishes.
Talk.
Be honest.
Put it down if it's best for both parties.
Having a couple profile that you can play with together means it's fully open comms and she needn't worry what you may or may not be saying to other ladies.
That's how things were it's how to get that back? Think it's just patience and time required for her... where as I just like to know where I'm upto so i dont do or say the wrong thing
Don't do or say anything about it for a while and stop coming on here for a bit? I really struggle with jealousy issues and I found that once my husband stopped mentioning it and let me do what I wanted at my pace I am now coming round to the idea, whereas before him mentioning it brought up an instant wall.
I think if she decides she does want to continue without any pressure I would make all communication through here as then both have open access to it and I'd cut the chat afterwards too..if you'd like to meet again perhaps leave it up to her? I wouldn't like continued chat either.
I can't really logically explain my reasoning behind my feelings about it either, but they're still there
Yeah thanks.. she talks about walls just wanna do the right thing.. .. don't wanna make her quit it if she really doesn't want to! But just don't like being in limbo.. if I'm honest I only see three solutions 1. Get on with being swingers 2. Forget about it and move on with normal life 3. My least favorite call time on our relationship.
I appreciate your honesty about saying you don't understand either lol
4. Stop the continued communication with the other women after you've met. essentially, unless they develop a friendship with both of you, they're clearly taking up too much of yoyr attention for the comfort of yoyr partner. Just stop. Unless you need the continued attention from them, then you're into a whole different ball game...
What about the other woman's feelings? It will seem like he's lured a woman into having a 3sone with him and his partner, then dumped her when it's done. This kind of drama is why I won't look for couples on here. Jealous girlfriends and wives I don't need in my life. Which is a shame because I love 3somes.
You shouldn't let it put you off.... lol says me haha!!! Just make sure the folks know where there Upto. we still both like her there's no nastiness xx
I think you're very being deceitful by pretending to be a single guy, then handing females you chat to over to Mrs. I would block and report you if you did that to me. If you want to meet as couple or she wants to meet ladys, then have the right profile, i.e. couple or just for her female.
This
OP it all seems very deceitful and you are just 'using' women on here! "
You seem to have missed the post where he's said they have a couples profile |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
To all the above there has been no deception... we have a couples account.. .. i do the looking get chatting then add the Mrs in a group chat.... no deception guys at all.... no need for reporting.
Try reading the whole thread rather than just a bit if you want your contbution to be worth while..
I have the other half's best interests at heart which is why I made this thread. We all clear  |
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"Respect her wishes.
Talk.
Be honest.
Put it down if it's best for both parties.
Having a couple profile that you can play with together means it's fully open comms and she needn't worry what you may or may not be saying to other ladies.
That's how things were it's how to get that back? Think it's just patience and time required for her... where as I just like to know where I'm upto so i dont do or say the wrong thing
Don't do or say anything about it for a while and stop coming on here for a bit? I really struggle with jealousy issues and I found that once my husband stopped mentioning it and let me do what I wanted at my pace I am now coming round to the idea, whereas before him mentioning it brought up an instant wall.
I think if she decides she does want to continue without any pressure I would make all communication through here as then both have open access to it and I'd cut the chat afterwards too..if you'd like to meet again perhaps leave it up to her? I wouldn't like continued chat either.
I can't really logically explain my reasoning behind my feelings about it either, but they're still there
Yeah thanks.. she talks about walls just wanna do the right thing.. .. don't wanna make her quit it if she really doesn't want to! But just don't like being in limbo.. if I'm honest I only see three solutions 1. Get on with being swingers 2. Forget about it and move on with normal life 3. My least favorite call time on our relationship.
I appreciate your honesty about saying you don't understand either lol
4. Stop the continued communication with the other women after you've met. essentially, unless they develop a friendship with both of you, they're clearly taking up too much of yoyr attention for the comfort of yoyr partner. Just stop. Unless you need the continued attention from them, then you're into a whole different ball game...
What about the other woman's feelings? It will seem like he's lured a woman into having a 3sone with him and his partner, then dumped her when it's done. This kind of drama is why I won't look for couples on here. Jealous girlfriends and wives I don't need in my life. Which is a shame because I love 3somes.
You shouldn't let it put you off.... lol says me haha!!! Just make sure the folks know where there Upto. we still both like her there's no nastiness xx
I think you're very being deceitful by pretending to be a single guy, then handing females you chat to over to Mrs. I would block and report you if you did that to me. If you want to meet as couple or she wants to meet ladys, then have the right profile, i.e. couple or just for her female.
This
OP it all seems very deceitful and you are just 'using' women on here!
You seem to have missed the post where he's said they have a couples profile "
Yes I saw that. He has created a profile for advice. However I do think he needs to have a very long chat with his life partner. Advice is good and we all have different opinions which is what a forum is about but he really should sort it out at home with his partner. |
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I can understand her doubts and frustions. we had made really good friends with a couple off here. I allways felt like a spare wheel as both partys got to play with mrs n. Female half didnt play with men which I understood and repected. I found it hard to make conversations as i wasnt getting anything out of it but mrs was so into both of them. She felt comfortable with both of them and really want to explore her bi side with the girl. So i was happy that even if i was involved just playing with mrs n while she played with either of them I was good. We had become really good friends. Away from fab life aswell, but as i wasnt chatting nawty and not getting replys to normal messages. I distantanced my self from them. This swingers game isnt an easy game.
Dont think they liked that we were looking elsewhere so we drifted apart.
Main thing is to make sure u both get what u need and neither of u feel left out. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Respect her wishes.
Talk.
Be honest.
Put it down if it's best for both parties.
Having a couple profile that you can play with together means it's fully open comms and she needn't worry what you may or may not be saying to other ladies.
That's how things were it's how to get that back? Think it's just patience and time required for her... where as I just like to know where I'm upto so i dont do or say the wrong thing
Don't do or say anything about it for a while and stop coming on here for a bit? I really struggle with jealousy issues and I found that once my husband stopped mentioning it and let me do what I wanted at my pace I am now coming round to the idea, whereas before him mentioning it brought up an instant wall.
I think if she decides she does want to continue without any pressure I would make all communication through here as then both have open access to it and I'd cut the chat afterwards too..if you'd like to meet again perhaps leave it up to her? I wouldn't like continued chat either.
I can't really logically explain my reasoning behind my feelings about it either, but they're still there
Yeah thanks.. she talks about walls just wanna do the right thing.. .. don't wanna make her quit it if she really doesn't want to! But just don't like being in limbo.. if I'm honest I only see three solutions 1. Get on with being swingers 2. Forget about it and move on with normal life 3. My least favorite call time on our relationship.
I appreciate your honesty about saying you don't understand either lol
4. Stop the continued communication with the other women after you've met. essentially, unless they develop a friendship with both of you, they're clearly taking up too much of yoyr attention for the comfort of yoyr partner. Just stop. Unless you need the continued attention from them, then you're into a whole different ball game...
What about the other woman's feelings? It will seem like he's lured a woman into having a 3sone with him and his partner, then dumped her when it's done. This kind of drama is why I won't look for couples on here. Jealous girlfriends and wives I don't need in my life. Which is a shame because I love 3somes.
You shouldn't let it put you off.... lol says me haha!!! Just make sure the folks know where there Upto. we still both like her there's no nastiness xx
I think you're very being deceitful by pretending to be a single guy, then handing females you chat to over to Mrs. I would block and report you if you did that to me. If you want to meet as couple or she wants to meet ladys, then have the right profile, i.e. couple or just for her female.
This
OP it all seems very deceitful and you are just 'using' women on here!
You seem to have missed the post where he's said they have a couples profile
Yes I saw that. He has created a profile for advice. However I do think he needs to have a very long chat with his life partner. Advice is good and we all have different opinions which is what a forum is about but he really should sort it out at home with his partner. "
You seem to miss the point? Everything was fine before we started swinging..... if like to continue and I'm also happy to stop if that's what needs to happen.... I just wasn't her to get what she wants without the insecurity or anxiety.... we went off fab months ago... but are now back because she says it's what she wants to do??? It's causing the problems at home.....
On the whole this is a great community and again thank eveyone who's made a helpful comment  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Maybe you could both try a club environment,,that way you cut out any unnecessary communication with playmates,,good luck to you both
Mrs  "
I think that's maybe a good idea also thanks xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I can understand her doubts and frustions. we had made really good friends with a couple off here. I allways felt like a spare wheel as both partys got to play with mrs n. Female half didnt play with men which I understood and repected. I found it hard to make conversations as i wasnt getting anything out of it but mrs was so into both of them. She felt comfortable with both of them and really want to explore her bi side with the girl. So i was happy that even if i was involved just playing with mrs n while she played with either of them I was good. We had become really good friends. Away from fab life aswell, but as i wasnt chatting nawty and not getting replys to normal messages. I distantanced my self from them. This swingers game isnt an easy game.
Dont think they liked that we were looking elsewhere so we drifted apart.
Main thing is to make sure u both get what u need and neither of u feel left out."
Thanks for sharing so honestly.. and I agree no-one should feel left out... unless that's what your into lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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So, seems ur lady is confused as to what she wants, was it suggested to continue chat? Most have fun and it ends there, no1 is looking for Prince Charming here it's a swing site. Seems ur mrs won't come off as she's watching and waiting for u to fuck up which must be awful and exhausting for her. The lady should be the first point because it seems a very selfish hobby otherwise. Ur mrs is insecure no doubt, de activate tell her it's because it's not worth losing her for a lay and watch the sigh of relief x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Totally get your problem fella, we have an account for meeting couples and a account for meeting single fems even though the other half prefers to meet single fems there is jelousy that isn't there with couples. reading the thread you seem to have tried most thimgs like closing the account and being patient.... you will probably just need to take things even slower.
A club visit is a great idea as Someone else suggested good luck guys x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"So, seems ur lady is confused as to what she wants, was it suggested to continue chat? Most have fun and it ends there, no1 is looking for Prince Charming here it's a swing site. Seems ur mrs won't come off as she's watching and waiting for u to fuck up which must be awful and exhausting for her. The lady should be the first point because it seems a very selfish hobby otherwise. Ur mrs is insecure no doubt, de activate tell her it's because it's not worth losing her for a lay and watch the sigh of relief x"
We've been off for months up until last week when she wanted to go back on!!!
And if you look at the profile there's no profile... it's empty so it's not going To be used other than for what it was created. Asking people who may have been in the same boat for help |
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"So, seems ur lady is confused as to what she wants, was it suggested to continue chat? Most have fun and it ends there, no1 is looking for Prince Charming here it's a swing site. Seems ur mrs won't come off as she's watching and waiting for u to fuck up which must be awful and exhausting for her. The lady should be the first point because it seems a very selfish hobby otherwise. Ur mrs is insecure no doubt, de activate tell her it's because it's not worth losing her for a lay and watch the sigh of relief x
We've been off for months up until last week when she wanted to go back on!!!
And if you look at the profile there's no profile... it's empty so it's not going To be used other than for what it was created. Asking people who may have been in the same boat for help "
I think you need to have a long talk with Mrs. Would she appreciate you asking strangers for advice? I certainly wouldn't. |
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"So, seems ur lady is confused as to what she wants, was it suggested to continue chat? Most have fun and it ends there, no1 is looking for Prince Charming here it's a swing site. Seems ur mrs won't come off as she's watching and waiting for u to fuck up which must be awful and exhausting for her. The lady should be the first point because it seems a very selfish hobby otherwise. Ur mrs is insecure no doubt, de activate tell her it's because it's not worth losing her for a lay and watch the sigh of relief x
We've been off for months up until last week when she wanted to go back on!!!
And if you look at the profile there's no profile... it's empty so it's not going To be used other than for what it was created. Asking people who may have been in the same boat for help
I think you need to have a long talk with Mrs. Would she appreciate you asking strangers for advice? I certainly wouldn't. "
Yeah we are strangers but its not the sort of thing that you can ask vanilla friends.
That what the fab has been for us its like an Oracle.
We both had loads of questions doubt etc when we started out on here. A few that we messaged after asking questions at the start have become amazing friends. Having non vanilla friends means you have people to discuss and ask there opions on stuff.
I personally have had a couple of wobble heads.
Best thing we did was to go townhouse just to c what the crack was. Really good way of seeing wether the scene is for u no pressure to play or dress down. And loads of helpful regulars who will answer any questions u have. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The continued friendly communication after what's supposed to be no strings fun would bother me too.
Does she know about this profile?
No she doesn't..... this really isn't a profile.... lol.
Other than the people we've met(who id never contact without my partner knowing) and the community on here I have no-one who I can discuss such matters with.
This profile is purely for that purpose so please don't think otherwise and Tbh I'm glad I asked as I've had some great messages and offers of advice xx
"
Well yeah it is a profile. And if my hubby had set up a profile I didn't know about and I found out I'd be pissed as hell at him. We don't hide stuff from one another. |
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