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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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One piece of advice we we're given early on is don't meet the same single men more than twice as after that they feel like they have a relationship with you and get a little clingy
We've only been meeting couples so there's been no issue but the Mrs wanted to try a single guy so does anyone have experience of meeting single guys that can say if we should stick to this or not? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"One piece of advice we we're given early on is don't meet the same single men more than twice as after that they feel like they have a relationship with you and get a little clingy
We've only been meeting couples so there's been no issue but the Mrs wanted to try a single guy so does anyone have experience of meeting single guys that can say if we should stick to this or not?"
isn't it always going to depend entirely on the individual you meet, how you all get on and their attitude to both swinging and yourselves? I don't think you can generalise or make that decision until you've met someone... |
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My FWB and I had an agreement that we would see each other as often as we wanted but she insisted that no clingy was or hassle or issues inbetween meets and I've been seeing her 4 years so it works for me.
I think communication and choose carefully is your lesson here. |
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By *ransGuyTV/TS
over a year ago
Cardiff |
I've met guys multiple times and the only result is better sex as we get more comfortable with each other and find out more about each other's bodies.
I'm quite a softy too, kissing, cuddling after sex, I've even had the comments from a couple of guys that it's lovely to be given so much attention for once, but I've not had any problems with guys getting clingy which is more of a risk with me being single.
But it depends on the guy, you may come across the odd one that struggles to ignore boundaries. Just be very clear of what you want from the start and enjoy yourself. Don't miss out on what could be a lot of fun just because there's a low risk you may have to block a guy that reads too much into what you've done with him. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've met several single guys many times over periods of years and never had a problem with them getting clingy. I would say choose your guys wisely and don't rush into meeting. I never meet anyone again that pesters for a second meet. You can normally tell by the tone of the messaging if they are becoming clingy. Make it clear that NSA is all it is from the start no matter how often you meet. I actively encourage them to continue meeting others too. Remember not all guys are the same and people do love to generalise! |
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"One piece of advice we we're given early on is don't meet the same single men more than twice as after that they feel like they have a relationship with you and get a little clingy
We've only been meeting couples so there's been no issue but the Mrs wanted to try a single guy so does anyone have experience of meeting single guys that can say if we should stick to this or not?
isn't it always going to depend entirely on the individual you meet, how you all get on and their attitude to both swinging and yourselves? I don't think you can generalise or make that decision until you've met someone..."
But we both know that can happen  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"One piece of advice we we're given early on is don't meet the same single men more than twice as after that they feel like they have a relationship with you and get a little clingy
We've only been meeting couples so there's been no issue but the Mrs wanted to try a single guy so does anyone have experience of meeting single guys that can say if we should stick to this or not?
isn't it always going to depend entirely on the individual you meet, how you all get on and their attitude to both swinging and yourselves? I don't think you can generalise or make that decision until you've met someone...
But we both know that can happen "
Don't we just...? And yet sometimes, it works out pretty perfectly...  |
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I don't think it's as simple as that .
Some guys can get clingy with regular meets , this is true . But the main issue we have is the expectation that because we've met them before they can always attend further meets . This can lead to a matter of fact meet rather than a passion fuelled meet .
Some however can add something to a meet , particularly a group scenario . We find a regular can push ours and other people's boundaries a bit when we have met them a few times .
But in the while we prefer to meet a guy just the once unless he can bring something extra to proceedings . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If I met separately my holy grail would be a meet with great chemistry and a connection. Of course I'd love to meet this person/couple again and again. Who wouldn't? But I've learnt through the forums that this can come across as clingy so would approach the issue in a very chilled out way now, reassuring them that I'd love to meet up again but not being claustrophobic about it. This is where a little education goes a long way. Many people won't even be aware they're doing it. So it's really best, as others have advised, to include that in your initial agreement (lets not get clingy and expectant please). Those who ignore the agreement are just wallies but respectful quality men will get it. Good luck  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Put strict boundaries in place and the minute either of you cross them cut all contact. Don't always believe what other people tell you."
But I was telling the truth  |
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Never had that problem. We've always looked for longer term relationships as opposed to lots of brief encounters which we're not interested in at all. We like to get to know the people we play with and enjoy the social side as well as anything else which happens. Our longest relationship with a guy was 3 years followed by a couple of others which lasted 12-18 months. |
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There is an inherent risk I suppose with every dynamic between new people. That risk that someone may become emotionally involved. Likewise as much as we hate to think it in the right conditions sometimes feeling can grow the other way. This is a danger too (on I think some couples pretend is not there or go sleep walking into it). A lot depends on how good we are a compartmentalising sex and emotional sides. After all great sex is charged with powerful emotions and feelings. We are complex and although we may chose and commit to one life partner we can not escape that in different circumstances we could well have ended up falling for someone else. Therefore like anything in life the more you expose yourself to a danger the more chance you have of things getting messy.
So I see the logic in having a shelf life. To guard against emotional attachment. Likewise some couples have risk reduction strategies like no kissing or only meeting at clubs. But as has been pointed out the more you play together and (may I add) the more involved you get the better it is. But of course the most powerful intense sex can also let out a Pandora's box of very powerful emotions that may trigger feelings of attachment and desire out side of the bedroom for all involved. It very much depends in the individuals involved.
I would say any swinging couple should always explore this risk and be completely honest with each other when assessing the risks involved. |
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