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Threesome advice from couples
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hello all, Hubby here. We have been playing in and out of the lifestyle for a number of years now and we have come to a realisation.
When we started out the intention was that we enjoy threesomes with single guys. This we have achieved and still enjoy. That however on occasion evolved into playing with other couples, not intentionally but if we have been in a club and moved with the momentum of the evening.
Now the realisation that we have come to is that Red is not happy with me playing with other women.
I must stress before you go any further that this is not an issue in the slightest for me, the Hubby. We had a great talk about all the best times that we have had in clubs so far and they have all revolved around MFM play.
What Red is worried about is that she feels it is a very one sided arrangement though we have talked at length about it. She is still more than happy to meet guys but isn’t comfortable with the “traditional swinging” dynamic.
My personal opinion is that sexuality and an individual’s (or couples) sexual practices are all varied and that what works for us should be enjoyed and embraced without remorse.
My question is to couples out there - how common is this that you only play exclusively with guys? Has the wife in these partnerships ever felt selfish and if so how did you overcome it? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We don't play exclusively with men but as this lifestyle can be a bit one sided as a woman I go off wanting other men when we havent had any full sharing with other couples or women. As I feel its to one sided and selfish .. Even though im assured its not.
Its not quite the same but can say that i can understand why she may feel a little selfish.
We wont play sperately because I'm not happy with mr doing so.. and although he assures me he would love it. If he cant play like that. Im not going to as it for me wouldnt be fair.
We have however met loads of couples in the same situation as you... and it seems to work. Personally if i ever hated seeing Mr with another woman and that side had to stop. Id stop playing too as I wouldn't feel comfortable being the one having fun but as long as it works for people.. then its no one elses business |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When we first joined Fab we only met guys, G was keen on threesomes but I wasn't sure I was comfortable watching him with someone else. We were both happy but had people suggesting I was selfish and being unfair.
Eventually I got to a point where I felt I was happy for him to play with other women and have and still do play with couples but we've come full circle and mostly meet guys.
Wish others wouldn't impose their opinions about other people's relationships and how they swing. |
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We've played more with guys simply because it's easier to find one person that we get along with than two and very often (in our experience) the guy in the couple is more interested in watching his wife with another man.
I've (f) never felt guilty because like you we've talked about it, I know Mr N is happy and as you say there's no right or wrong when it comes to this. |
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"When we first joined Fab we only met guys, G was keen on threesomes but I wasn't sure I was comfortable watching him with someone else. We were both happy but had people suggesting I was selfish and being unfair.
Eventually I got to a point where I felt I was happy for him to play with other women and have and still do play with couples but we've come full circle and mostly meet guys.
Wish others wouldn't impose their opinions about other people's relationships and how they swing. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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the guy i play with we tend to have more mff - the odd mmf has occurred at clubs on the orgy beds - you just have to set boundaries and stick to them its no fun if people are uncomfortable etc |
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We started off just meeting men, as again we felt more comfortable with that. We have also met as couples, and although we like it, we probably enjoy the social side of a couple meet more than the sexual play. Again, it is very hard to find a couple where all 4 individuals are happy. I know that hubby loves to watch me be turned on by other men, and I love knowing he is turned on too. I also know that he is the man I go home with and sleep next to, talk to and share my life with.
I like watching him with another woman, as it feels a bit like my own personal porn show, and I know how good it feels, so I get a vicarious pleasure from that. But every relationship is different and you need to do what works for you. If you like to watch her have fun and find that a turn on, and she enjoys having fun knowing that you are turned on, I can't see what the problem is. |
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OP,we are in a similar boat to you,so I guess it's not that uncommon,but we're emphatically not in the majority.
Our play is exclusively with other guys.A while back we started considering couples,but came to realise that she wasn't entirely happy with that,and she was considering it simply because she thought it unfair and wanted to even It up a bit.
Continuing down that path for that reason was not the right thing to do;nor was it what I actually wanted either. Our kinks are 100% aligned  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I am understsnding this correctly you only want to play with the male half of the couple?"
No not at all - just that we prefer to meet guys over couples. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am understsnding this correctly you only want to play with the male half of the couple?
No not at all - just that we prefer to meet guys over couples."
ahhh right that's fair eought if your both happy with it sure im sure you wont get any complaints from the guys your life stuff whzt others think x |
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We have only played with guys, I get really turned on seeing her with another guy, she's unsure how she'd feel seeing me with another woman so we haven't been there yet, I don't want to rock the boat. It would have to be a spontaneous thing if we were with another couple and things developed but I'm quite happy to just play in a mmf. |
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By *arry247Couple
over a year ago
Wakefield |
"Hello all, Hubby here. We have been playing in and out of the lifestyle for a number of years now and we have come to a realisation.
When we started out the intention was that we enjoy threesomes with single guys. This we have achieved and still enjoy. That however on occasion evolved into playing with other couples, not intentionally but if we have been in a club and moved with the momentum of the evening.
Now the realisation that we have come to is that Red is not happy with me playing with other women.
I must stress before you go any further that this is not an issue in the slightest for me, the Hubby. We had a great talk about all the best times that we have had in clubs so far and they have all revolved around MFM play.
What Red is worried about is that she feels it is a very one sided arrangement though we have talked at length about it. She is still more than happy to meet guys but isn’t comfortable with the “traditional swinging” dynamic.
My personal opinion is that sexuality and an individual’s (or couples) sexual practices are all varied and that what works for us should be enjoyed and embraced without remorse.
My question is to couples out there - how common is this that you only play exclusively with guys? Has the wife in these partnerships ever felt selfish and if so how did you overcome it?"
What you describe is relatively common as there are more single men available the couples or single women.
It is also common for the female partner in the couple to want her partner to play with other women but not be fully at ease with it.
Partly due to jealousy, partly due to insecurity and partly from pride, some men have the same feelings but they find it easier to suppress the feelings because by doing so the get more sex.
A second reason why this sometimes becomes a problem for women rather than men is they do not realise how much enjoyment a man gets from seeing his partner having sex with others. This is down to how a man sees sex and their thought of control.
When a man sees his partner having sex he feels in control and he has given this other man access to his partner whereas a woman feels she has lost control when she sees her partner with another woman.
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By *BCambsCouple
over a year ago
Biggleswade |
We share your dynamic, most of our meets are with guys as we enjoy mmf the most.
Occasionally we do meet couples but that's mainly for some girl on girl play while the guys watch.
We have learnt to stick to what we enjoy and that regardless of what you like someone out there will like it to! |
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Hello OP, your not the only ones !When we stared this adventure exact same thing came to mind.You know what i didnt mind either.We have explored mfm and enjoyed them.Mrs m was still in the mindset of me not playing with another female with her or in a mfmf scenario.
We talked at length about it, she said she felt selfish, its one sided etc..Beat herself regarding it but it did not bother me at all.It was a night out away from the kids we had fun met new people why should i of been.
However god knows why a few months ago i can only assume watching & fantasing without any input from me its now become something she would like to watch me do and join in mff or mfmf.Not once did i pressure, nor hint we just led the lifestyle we had enjoying our nights out.But dont worry, play have fun and enjoy maybe one day things may change maybe they wont.
Just live the lifestyle your both comfortable with |
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