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Question for other couple

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By *wo-Good OP   Couple  over a year ago

South London

We are new to this so need some advice. We have been speaking to a couple of potential men (threesome)for a little while, having had a social with one. However what we have noticed is all the attention (except for at the actual social) has been on me (Jerry). I have tried to bring my husband into the conversation and he has tried chatting to them but the conversations always go back to what they want to do to me and occasionally what they want to see my husband do to me. Not once has either of them asked what he wants or discussed what the pair of them are going to do. We don't want a detailed description as we want it to be spontaneous, however some before chatting? would be nice.

What we want to know is, is this the way it normally goes?

We want a threesome that includes my husband, not him watching as some guy fucks me or the other guy putting up with my husband needing to be there. We would like someone who is interested in both of us.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

This is why we don't play with single guys, as with us bi lady & straight guy couple so no incentive for guys who want to play with couples is there? Accept it, that every single guy would prefer to leave you husband out of the equation altogether, hubby is just not wanted by the guy in the play situation, you have to accept that you have selfish needs wanting the attention of 2 guys at once and the single guy has his own selfish needs, move in play with a couple and in the play you will get the MMF play you want x

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan  over a year ago

salisbury

Go for well verified guys. Read the feedback and watch for the right pattern. I know that's pretty rich coming from me, but some guys haven't given up! I am also on here with my wife so i speak with a bit of experience.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

It's the way it normally goes when you're dealing with an idiot.

We consider it a useful filter.

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

You need to be absolutely clear from the start that unless all three of you are involved from the start things will go no further. Having said that it must be difficult for a single man meeting a couple.

We've been lucky and most of the guys we've met have included us both. We don't return messages that are just addressed to me though, that might out some at the very start.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

We experience the same. Infact worse; we sit in a club chatting with each other; the moment he gets up to go to the washroom, a couple of guys will walk over, sit down and start chatting with me knowing full well that I am there with my husband. What do they think is going to happen? That I am going to leave my husband and go away with them???

- Mrs. J -

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By *oxycouple28Couple  over a year ago

bexley

We have had a few threesomes with guys on here and have met some nice ones. We literally set out a list of criteria that we both wanted. i.e, white,straight, could write a decent email (hopefully showing a decent level of education), and had to be able to be polite and civil to both of us. We made it clear to all that without meeting this then we wouldn't play with them.

We met some great guys and had some fun. One of them we even invited back a couple of times, once to make a video with and the other to help us with a swinger couple and a gangbang we were organising!

They are out there, its just a question of finding the right ones. Decent profile, well written and thought out profile...

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By *BCambsCouple  over a year ago

Biggleswade

We agree with what has been said here already.

If it's not 'clicking' for you then walk away.

You will find what you want, just be patient.

We have had some great and some not so great meets, we have learnt be patient and go with your gut.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Accept it, that every single guy would prefer to leave you husband out of the equation altogether, hubby is just not wanted by the guy in the play situation"

That is simply not true - not all single men are after one-on-one, some genuinely love a threesome. And a subset of those love a straight mfm because they love to tag team the woman.

My advice to you OP is, identify these men who want to cooperate and fuck alongside your husband. If they can't even include him in their fantasy they don't have the capacity or desire to share, and it's a good thing you recognised it so easily cos it'll help you negotiate the specific dynamic you want. Avoid bulls, and avoid exhibitionists who may derive their pleasure from being watched by your partner. There are lots of lovely hot guys to pick from so make your desires clear and if someone is not compatible give them a miss. Good luck in your search!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

We get the same thing quite a lot, they either push to meet me alone or minimise Gs role, or don't really seem to want a threesome but will tolerate the idea.

If that's the feeling you're getting the simple answer is don't meet them. There are great guys out there who get the threesome dynamic and genuinely enjoy it. You've just got to find the right ones. Look for veris from couples and read between the lines a bit.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


" Go for well verified guys. Read the feedback and watch for the right pattern. I know that's pretty rich coming from me, but some guys haven't given up! I am also on here with my wife so i speak with a bit of experience."

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By *ethnmelvCouple  over a year ago

Cardiff


"We agree with what has been said here already.

If it's not 'clicking' for you then walk away.

You will find what you want, just be patient.

We have had some great and some not so great meets, we have learnt be patient and go with your gut.

"

Same for us, a few guys get it right and we all have fun - for the one's that don't we just play on our own - it tends to be why we go to clubs, to avoid the less subtle ones!

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By *crumdiddlyumptiousMan  over a year ago

.

I wouldn't meet a couple unless I could connect with both of them in some way, I don't want to meet have sex and leave, I want to be able to talk have a laugh and have something in common and that includes the Male,

I don't mean both of us just wanting a MFM with his partner either

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By *revaunanceCouple  over a year ago

Exeter

Stick to your guns.

Your doing it because you want to, so don't be afraid to look elsewhere when someone doesn't match up to your expectations.

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By *haverMan  over a year ago

bracknell

Yes i have experienced this, when i had a mmf with my misses and a man from another site i felt like both didnt want me there after several meets could not do it any more felt like both want to chuck me put a big stain on my feelings i think they are still seeing each other secretley

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By *haverMan  over a year ago

bracknell

Meant cuck me lol

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By *haverMan  over a year ago

bracknell

Meant strain, my phone doesnt not obey me lol

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By *ikeC81Man  over a year ago

harrow

I am a single guy that plays with couples, sometimes the guy likes to watch me fuck his lady when he takes photos or videos, sometimes we tag team either spitroast or dp, sometimes I watch them play whilst wanking and watching

It depends on what everyone wants and communication is key. There is no harm in asking what they like

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By *wo-Good OP   Couple  over a year ago

South London

Thankyou all for your replies and the pm replies. I'm really glad it isn't just us, makes us feel a bit better about cancelling our plans, knowing it's not us being overly sensitive or fussy. And I'm (Jerry) definitely not in it for another man's attention, I've had lots of men in the past so I know what it's like, even with 2 men. This is for me and my husband, it's for both our enjoyment. If he's not into it , I certainly won't be, so any meet will swiftly end if that's the case.

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By *errysMan  over a year ago

milton keynes and kent

I know you looking for couples answers but as a single guy with a fwb etc. Who I go to clubs with and have experienced a few threesomes inc dvp with.

I would seriously urge you to leave that sort of guy alone.

Go to a club and experience different single guys before taking it further.

You will find plenty of nice chaps who interact with both of you which should be expected.

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By *haverMan  over a year ago

bracknell


"I know you looking for couples answers but as a single guy with a fwb etc. Who I go to clubs with and have experienced a few threesomes inc dvp with.

I would seriously urge you to leave that sort of guy alone.

Go to a club and experience different single guys before taking it further.

You will find plenty of nice chaps who interact with both of you which should be expected.

"

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By * and M lookingCouple  over a year ago

Worcester

We had a different experience whilst at a club.

We watched as two couples hooked up at the bar but the older ones were plying the young lady with shots etc making sure she was merry.

In the background the older fem started playing with the guy out of site of the girl at the bar.

The second the younger one got anxious the older guy shot in with more drink.

They'll headed off downstairs but we were surprised to see the older guy come back to the bar.

10-15 minutes later the younger fem stormed through the club followed by the other fem.

We wandered off and found the younger guy sat in one of the rooms looking distraught with his head in his hands.

We can say that after seeing that we were not only disgusted but think that the woman was just as bad as any guys.

Don't know how it turned out but it didn't look good.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

There are hundreds of guys on Fab, so it looks so easy for a couple looking for a single guy for a threesome. But I suspect for every hundred men who state they are available for couples, only one will genuinely enjoy threesomes with an MF couple. I think most guys on Fab prefer single women, but are prepared to put up with someone's husband being there in order to get sex. But there are men who love the dynamics of playing with an MF couple, and genuinely want the partner there as part of the equation. Patience is required to find them, but when you do find them treat them well and hold onto them because these guys are gold dust. You are more likely to find men who are into threesomes in clubs. I would also advise the OP to search for single men who are well verified by lots of couples - those guys will understand the etiquette of couple play. Us personally we will not meet a guy if he is only verified by single women - its vitally important they are into couples and I cannot stress that enough.

Mrs

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By *y Favorite PornstarCouple  over a year ago

Basingstoke


"We are new to this so need some advice. We have been speaking to a couple of potential men (threesome)for a little while, having had a social with one. However what we have noticed is all the attention (except for at the actual social) has been on me (Jerry). I have tried to bring my husband into the conversation and he has tried chatting to them but the conversations always go back to what they want to do to me and occasionally what they want to see my husband do to me. Not once has either of them asked what he wants or discussed what the pair of them are going to do. We don't want a detailed description as we want it to be spontaneous, however some before chatting? would be nice.

What we want to know is, is this the way it normally goes?

We want a threesome that includes my husband, not him watching as some guy fucks me or the other guy putting up with my husband needing to be there. We would like someone who is interested in both of us.

"

No it's not normal, you are meeting the wrong kind of single guys. There are far better ones who understand the dynamic better.

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By * and M lookingCouple  over a year ago

Worcester

We have found in most cases the guys use the threesome as a line in to gain access to the lady.

Finding a guy that I would firstly want to be shared with and who has the courage to be able to perform with hubby present has always proved difficult.

Lots of talkers who cant walk the walk me thinks!

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By *he Queen of TartsWoman  over a year ago
Forum Mod

My Own Little World

Yes unfortunately it is normal.

Just use it as a filter, if they ignore and/or disrespect your husband in messages then there is a good chance they will do the same in person.

Just a bit of advice - don't go down the dirty talk path, those guys rarely turn up. They have already wanked themselves into exhaustion just thinking about what they would like to do to you. Keep it clean, if he doesn't go silent on you when he realises you have no plans to give him any wank fodder then I would go forward and think about taking things further.

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By * and M lookingCouple  over a year ago

Worcester


"Yes unfortunately it is normal.

Just use it as a filter, if they ignore and/or disrespect your husband in messages then there is a good chance they will do the same in person.

Just a bit of advice - don't go down the dirty talk path, those guys rarely turn up. They have already wanked themselves into exhaustion just thinking about what they would like to do to you. Keep it clean, if he doesn't go silent on you when he realises you have no plans to give him any wank fodder then I would go forward and think about taking things further."

Agreed

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Think most chat from single guys go down the same route they set there goal has they are going to play while the partner watch, but couple want the extra guy for there pleasure as well has the singles pleasure, we've had a few good single guy meets but also had them where they are not, we had both kik names on the site at one point but it was always the female half that got the messages, but she try's to get them to message the male half has well but if that doesn't happen then she tends to block them and move on. We've had it in clubs as well where they hang around looking and smiling but no contact, then he might go the bar or the toilet and bang they are straight over to chat, I tend to say if you can't talk to use both than I'm not interested. You can them out and find good ones. Just takes time.

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan  over a year ago

salisbury

I guess a lot of people get into swinging because they think they'll get laid. Not because they have the mindset of a swinger.

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan  over a year ago

salisbury


"I guess a lot of people get into swinging because they think they'll get laid. Not because they have the mindset of a swinger."

Single people that is.

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By *rightonsteveMan  over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I try to chat to both but it's often the lady that does the chatting on here.

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By *wo-Good OP   Couple  over a year ago

South London


"Yes unfortunately it is normal.

Just use it as a filter, if they ignore and/or disrespect your husband in messages then there is a good chance they will do the same in person.

Just a bit of advice - don't go down the dirty talk path, those guys rarely turn up. They have already wanked themselves into exhaustion just thinking about what they would like to do to you. Keep it clean, if he doesn't go silent on you when he realises you have no plans to give him any wank fodder then I would go forward and think about taking things further."

Yeah I know I've been wank fodder,but unfortunately too late and a bit too naive. But learning fast. .

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By *inkywife1981Couple  over a year ago

A town near you

If you are meeting straight guys then naturally they will be most interested in you.

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By *wo-Good OP   Couple  over a year ago

South London


"If you are meeting straight guys then naturally they will be most interested in you."

Nope infact most have been bi-curious or bi.

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By * and M lookingCouple  over a year ago

Worcester


"If you are meeting straight guys then naturally they will be most interested in you."

That's obvious but they still need to have respect and know their place in the proceedings.

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By *wo-Good OP   Couple  over a year ago

South London


"If you are meeting straight guys then naturally they will be most interested in you.

That's obvious but they still need to have respect and know their place in the proceedings."

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By *crumdiddlyumptiousMan  over a year ago

.


"If you are meeting straight guys then naturally they will be most interested in you.

That's obvious but they still need to have respect and know their place in the proceedings."

What does know their place in the proceedings mean ?

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By * and M lookingCouple  over a year ago

Worcester


"If you are meeting straight guys then naturally they will be most interested in you.

That's obvious but they still need to have respect and know their place in the proceedings.

What does know their place in the proceedings mean ?

"

Really!!! You need to ask that?

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By *ast_jjMan  over a year ago

Dublin and London

I would suggest the guys you have met are not for you both.

Hopefully you'll find a guy soon who takes the time to chat to you both and tries to help fulfil both your desires.

Good luck.

J

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By *crumdiddlyumptiousMan  over a year ago

.


"If you are meeting straight guys then naturally they will be most interested in you.

That's obvious but they still need to have respect and know their place in the proceedings.

What does know their place in the proceedings mean ?

Really!!! You need to ask that?"

Yes, Enlighten me

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By * and M lookingCouple  over a year ago

Worcester


"If you are meeting straight guys then naturally they will be most interested in you.

That's obvious but they still need to have respect and know their place in the proceedings.

What does know their place in the proceedings mean ?

Really!!! You need to ask that?

Yes, Enlighten me"

Something that comes with experience, known as respect.....good luck

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By *wo-Good OP   Couple  over a year ago

South London


"If you are meeting straight guys then naturally they will be most interested in you.

That's obvious but they still need to have respect and know their place in the proceedings.

What does know their place in the proceedings mean ?

Really!!! You need to ask that?

Yes, Enlighten me"

The fact that you need it spelling out demonstrates your unsuitability in the scenario we've envisaged. Anyone joining us needs to understand we are a couple and play as a couple. Any man joining us needs to be polite, respectful of boundaries and be able to engage with both of us, not just be a thrusting warm lump of meat. It's a threesome, not a twosome with husband present - Tom

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"If you are meeting straight guys then naturally they will be most interested in you.

That's obvious but they still need to have respect and know their place in the proceedings.

What does know their place in the proceedings mean ?

Really!!! You need to ask that?

Yes, Enlighten me

The fact that you need it spelling out demonstrates your unsuitability in the scenario we've envisaged. Anyone joining us needs to understand we are a couple and play as a couple. Any man joining us needs to be polite, respectful of boundaries and be able to engage with both of us, not just be a thrusting warm lump of meat. It's a threesome, not a twosome with husband present - Tom"

The respect and knowing ones place in the proceedings goes both ways. Single men get a bad press on here but (and I'm not referring to anyone in this thread) they are often treated as accessories to a couple's sex life and as if they should be grateful.

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By *crumdiddlyumptiousMan  over a year ago

.

[Removed by poster at 15/06/17 23:00:33]

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By *crumdiddlyumptiousMan  over a year ago

.


"If you are meeting straight guys then naturally they will be most interested in you.

That's obvious but they still need to have respect and know their place in the proceedings.

What does know their place in the proceedings mean ?

Really!!! You need to ask that?

Yes, Enlighten me

The fact that you need it spelling out demonstrates your unsuitability in the scenario we've envisaged. Anyone joining us needs to understand we are a couple and play as a couple. Any man joining us needs to be polite, respectful of boundaries and be able to engage with both of us, not just be a thrusting warm lump of meat. It's a threesome, not a twosome with husband present - Tom

The respect and knowing ones place in the proceedings goes both ways. Single men get a bad press on here but (and I'm not referring to anyone in this thread) they are often treated as accessories to a couple's sex life and as if they should be grateful."

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By *crumdiddlyumptiousMan  over a year ago

.


"If you are meeting straight guys then naturally they will be most interested in you.

That's obvious but they still need to have respect and know their place in the proceedings.

What does know their place in the proceedings mean ?

Really!!! You need to ask that?

Yes, Enlighten me

The fact that you need it spelling out demonstrates your unsuitability in the scenario we've envisaged. Anyone joining us needs to understand we are a couple and play as a couple. Any man joining us needs to be polite, respectful of boundaries and be able to engage with both of us, not just be a thrusting warm lump of meat. It's a threesome, not a twosome with husband present - Tom"

Read my earlier post,

I wanted to know what "and know their place in the proceedings" means,

It just comes across as you are here for us and do as we say when and where,

Well that's how I read it anyway

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By *loswingersCouple  over a year ago

Gloucester


"If you are meeting straight guys then naturally they will be most interested in you.

That's obvious but they still need to have respect and know their place in the proceedings.

What does know their place in the proceedings mean ?

Really!!! You need to ask that?

Yes, Enlighten me

The fact that you need it spelling out demonstrates your unsuitability in the scenario we've envisaged. Anyone joining us needs to understand we are a couple and play as a couple. Any man joining us needs to be polite, respectful of boundaries and be able to engage with both of us, not just be a thrusting warm lump of meat. It's a threesome, not a twosome with husband present - Tom"

Without having experienced a threesome you seem pretty well versed in what it needs to be for you . You mention spontenaity in your opening post , yet seem to think that a few socials are necessary to ascertain suitability . And then have the gall to have a dig at clearly experienced guys in the very scenario you are looking to have !

Perhaps it's time to look again at exactly what you want . If it's a threesome with a guy who will respect you both , go for a guy who is well verified by other couples , and get on with it . By all means have a social first , but that should be enough . Better still , have a no pressure social with the option to play if you all agree . Then you will know more about what suits you , and your journey will start .

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By *layful Couple For YouCouple  over a year ago

Lust

When we're looking for a single guy to potentially join us for fun, we'll initially start with a kik 3-way convo, that way we can get an idea of how the guy is going to interact with us. We know this only gives a very basic idea of the guys personality but it's at least a starting point x

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I wouldn't meet a couple unless I could connect with both of them in some way, I don't want to meet have sex and leave, I want to be able to talk have a laugh and have something in common and that includes the Male,

I don't mean both of us just wanting a MFM with his partner either"

This there needs to be a spark with all people involved does your hubby have a close friend that he can share you with x

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"When we're looking for a single guy to potentially join us for fun, we'll initially start with a kik 3-way convo, that way we can get an idea of how the guy is going to interact with us. We know this only gives a very basic idea of the guys personality but it's at least a starting point x"

This works for us too.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I wouldn't meet a couple unless I could connect with both of them in some way, I don't want to meet have sex and leave, I want to be able to talk have a laugh and have something in common and that includes the Male,

I don't mean both of us just wanting a MFM with his partner either

This there needs to be a spark with all people involved does your hubby have a close friend that he can share you with x

"

Something with the potential to go horribly wrong in a number of ways....

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"If you are meeting straight guys then naturally they will be most interested in you.

That's obvious but they still need to have respect and know their place in the proceedings.

What does know their place in the proceedings mean ?

Really!!! You need to ask that?

Yes, Enlighten me

The fact that you need it spelling out demonstrates your unsuitability in the scenario we've envisaged. Anyone joining us needs to understand we are a couple and play as a couple. Any man joining us needs to be polite, respectful of boundaries and be able to engage with both of us, not just be a thrusting warm lump of meat. It's a threesome, not a twosome with husband present - Tom

Read my earlier post,

I wanted to know what "and know their place in the proceedings" means,

It just comes across as you are here for us and do as we say when and where,

Well that's how I read it anyway "

I'm not partial to the expression 'know their place'. That implies the single man, invited to join the couple, is a sort of 'second class' to the couple. We play with a number of guys who absolutely understand the dynamics and are very respectful, and suspect they would not appreciate being told that they should 'know their place'. As a couple who are very experienced with playing with single men, our view is that all concerned should be equal in importance. However, what I will say regarding straight guys, is that there is a high risk that they are just putting up Mr being there in order to fuck the lady. And it doesn't matter how respectful the man is, it is always obvious when a man would privately prefer the husband to disappear so he can have a one-on-one with Mrs. It becomes particularly obvious when the man only communicates with Mrs. So forget 'knowing your place'. And respect should go without saying anyway. But I would urge a straight single guy, wanting to play with a couple, to ask himself 'do I want Mr there as part of the dynamic'. If he doesn't want the man there, then he really should only be pursuing women who are available for one-one-ones.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I guess a lot of people get into swinging because they think they'll get laid. Not because they have the mindset of a swinger.

Single people that is."

Exactly this ^. There is a different mindset between a true swinger and someone looking for no strings sex. Back when i was a single male on scene this topic came up often, but i found that the best source of people that are swingers and single are often at greedy girl/gangbang events. Check veri's etc for this pattern as they will perform, understand the scene and have no issues around other guys.

I think sometimes males that are looking for NSA sex, tend to have trouble leaving the 'Alpha' mentality at the door, and not everyone is into cuckold etc.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"If you are meeting straight guys then naturally they will be most interested in you.

That's obvious but they still need to have respect and know their place in the proceedings.

What does know their place in the proceedings mean ?

Really!!! You need to ask that?

Yes, Enlighten me

The fact that you need it spelling out demonstrates your unsuitability in the scenario we've envisaged. Anyone joining us needs to understand we are a couple and play as a couple. Any man joining us needs to be polite, respectful of boundaries and be able to engage with both of us, not just be a thrusting warm lump of meat. It's a threesome, not a twosome with husband present - Tom

Read my earlier post,

I wanted to know what "and know their place in the proceedings" means,

It just comes across as you are here for us and do as we say when and where,

Well that's how I read it anyway "

I think it's clear from M and M's general writing that this is the dynamic they prefer... I find a lot of threesomes dynamics do get hierarchical... in different directions too. Personally I absolutely detest this, but I guess there is nothing inherently wrong it, as long as all participants are in conscious agreement.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"If you are meeting straight guys then naturally they will be most interested in you.

That's obvious but they still need to have respect and know their place in the proceedings.

What does know their place in the proceedings mean ?

Really!!! You need to ask that?

Yes, Enlighten me

The fact that you need it spelling out demonstrates your unsuitability in the scenario we've envisaged. Anyone joining us needs to understand we are a couple and play as a couple. Any man joining us needs to be polite, respectful of boundaries and be able to engage with both of us, not just be a thrusting warm lump of meat. It's a threesome, not a twosome with husband present - Tom

Read my earlier post,

I wanted to know what "and know their place in the proceedings" means,

It just comes across as you are here for us and do as we say when and where,

Well that's how I read it anyway

I think it's clear from M and M's general writing that this is the dynamic they prefer... I find a lot of threesomes dynamics do get hierarchical... in different directions too. Personally I absolutely detest this, but I guess there is nothing inherently wrong it, as long as all participants are in conscious agreement."

I think the only place hierarchy works is when the is a Dominant/submissive dynamic or a cuckold dynamic. But that has to be agreed, and the starting point is that all three are equal. And even when the hierarchy of the trio has been agreed and established, all three people are still of equal value in the arrangement.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"If you are meeting straight guys then naturally they will be most interested in you.

That's obvious but they still need to have respect and know their place in the proceedings.

What does know their place in the proceedings mean ?

Really!!! You need to ask that?

Yes, Enlighten me

The fact that you need it spelling out demonstrates your unsuitability in the scenario we've envisaged. Anyone joining us needs to understand we are a couple and play as a couple. Any man joining us needs to be polite, respectful of boundaries and be able to engage with both of us, not just be a thrusting warm lump of meat. It's a threesome, not a twosome with husband present - Tom

Read my earlier post,

I wanted to know what "and know their place in the proceedings" means,

It just comes across as you are here for us and do as we say when and where,

Well that's how I read it anyway

I think it's clear from M and M's general writing that this is the dynamic they prefer... I find a lot of threesomes dynamics do get hierarchical... in different directions too. Personally I absolutely detest this, but I guess there is nothing inherently wrong it, as long as all participants are in conscious agreement."

This hierarchy is very true for us too. As a couple, we are committed to each other. My hierarchy is that my husband comes first and foremost; if at anytime, I get the slightest inkling that he is being ignored or is uncomfortable, I will instantly stop whatever I am doing with *anyone* and take care of my husband's needs

Incidentally, in our relationship, this works both ways for each other

Does this mean that the single man is any lessor? Ofcourse not; but he is not my primary consideration

- Mrs. J -

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"If you are meeting straight guys then naturally they will be most interested in you.

That's obvious but they still need to have respect and know their place in the proceedings.

What does know their place in the proceedings mean ?

Really!!! You need to ask that?

Yes, Enlighten me

The fact that you need it spelling out demonstrates your unsuitability in the scenario we've envisaged. Anyone joining us needs to understand we are a couple and play as a couple. Any man joining us needs to be polite, respectful of boundaries and be able to engage with both of us, not just be a thrusting warm lump of meat. It's a threesome, not a twosome with husband present - Tom

Read my earlier post,

I wanted to know what "and know their place in the proceedings" means,

It just comes across as you are here for us and do as we say when and where,

Well that's how I read it anyway

I think it's clear from M and M's general writing that this is the dynamic they prefer... I find a lot of threesomes dynamics do get hierarchical... in different directions too. Personally I absolutely detest this, but I guess there is nothing inherently wrong it, as long as all participants are in conscious agreement.

This hierarchy is very true for us too. As a couple, we are committed to each other. My hierarchy is that my husband comes first and foremost; if at anytime, I get the slightest inkling that he is being ignored or is uncomfortable, I will instantly stop whatever I am doing with *anyone* and take care of my husband's needs

Incidentally, in our relationship, this works both ways for each other

Does this mean that the single man is any lessor? Ofcourse not; but he is not my primary consideration

- Mrs. J -"

I don'tconsider that a hierarchy. That's just putting your husband first, which is normal in all walks of life. I think a hierarchy swinging is when the single person is treated as a sort of toy to be used for the couples pleasure (which of course some men will be very happy with). Whereas an equal threesome is when everybody pleasure is of equal importance. But within that of course we put our loved ones first.

Mrs

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By *arry247Couple  over a year ago

Wakefield


"We are new to this so need some advice. We have been speaking to a couple of potential men (threesome)for a little while, having had a social with one. However what we have noticed is all the attention (except for at the actual social) has been on me (Jerry). I have tried to bring my husband into the conversation and he has tried chatting to them but the conversations always go back to what they want to do to me and occasionally what they want to see my husband do to me. Not once has either of them asked what he wants or discussed what the pair of them are going to do. We don't want a detailed description as we want it to be spontaneous, however some before chatting? would be nice.

What we want to know is, is this the way it normally goes?

We want a threesome that includes my husband, not him watching as some guy fucks me or the other guy putting up with my husband needing to be there. We would like someone who is interested in both of us.

"

That is what happens when you indulge in chatting.

Far better to exchange a couple of messages to arrange the meet then meet and have sex.

We have been swinging for over 35 years and since the early days have found the longer people sit around chatting the more the OPs try to play one to one with the female.

If you simple meet and get on with the play everyone has a good active time.

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By *loswingersCouple  over a year ago

Gloucester


"We are new to this so need some advice. We have been speaking to a couple of potential men (threesome)for a little while, having had a social with one. However what we have noticed is all the attention (except for at the actual social) has been on me (Jerry). I have tried to bring my husband into the conversation and he has tried chatting to them but the conversations always go back to what they want to do to me and occasionally what they want to see my husband do to me. Not once has either of them asked what he wants or discussed what the pair of them are going to do. We don't want a detailed description as we want it to be spontaneous, however some before chatting? would be nice.

What we want to know is, is this the way it normally goes?

We want a threesome that includes my husband, not him watching as some guy fucks me or the other guy putting up with my husband needing to be there. We would like someone who is interested in both of us.

That is what happens when you indulge in chatting.

Far better to exchange a couple of messages to arrange the meet then meet and have sex.

We have been swinging for over 35 years and since the early days have found the longer people sit around chatting the more the OPs try to play one to one with the female.

If you simple meet and get on with the play everyone has a good active time."

Spot on

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By *abe1200Couple  over a year ago

belfast


"There are hundreds of guys on Fab, so it looks so easy for a couple looking for a single guy for a threesome. But I suspect for every hundred men who state they are available for couples, only one will genuinely enjoy threesomes with an MF couple. I think most guys on Fab prefer single women, but are prepared to put up with someone's husband being there in order to get sex. But there are men who love the dynamics of playing with an MF couple, and genuinely want the partner there as part of the equation. Patience is required to find them, but when you do find them treat them well and hold onto them because these guys are gold dust. You are more likely to find men who are into threesomes in clubs. I would also advise the OP to search for single men who are well verified by lots of couples - those guys will understand the etiquette of couple play. Us personally we will not meet a guy if he is only verified by single women - its vitally important they are into couples and I cannot stress that enough.

Mrs"

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By *rank n BettyCouple  over a year ago

Not meeting

A lot of the messages we get are like this its as if i dont exist, they seemed shocked when i reply to there messages. Just helps out the idiots from the genuine ones.

Frank

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"We are new to this so need some advice. We have been speaking to a couple of potential men (threesome)for a little while, having had a social with one. However what we have noticed is all the attention (except for at the actual social) has been on me (Jerry). I have tried to bring my husband into the conversation and he has tried chatting to them but the conversations always go back to what they want to do to me and occasionally what they want to see my husband do to me. Not once has either of them asked what he wants or discussed what the pair of them are going to do. We don't want a detailed description as we want it to be spontaneous, however some before chatting? would be nice.

What we want to know is, is this the way it normally goes?

We want a threesome that includes my husband, not him watching as some guy fucks me or the other guy putting up with my husband needing to be there. We would like someone who is interested in both of us.

That is what happens when you indulge in chatting.

Far better to exchange a couple of messages to arrange the meet then meet and have sex.

We have been swinging for over 35 years and since the early days have found the longer people sit around chatting the more the OPs try to play one to one with the female.

If you simple meet and get on with the play everyone has a good active time."

Good point.

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